OC MOMS: BEWARE OF ALYSSA K. FROM SAN CLEMENTE! _______________________________________________________ Previous post was deleted for personal reasons.
OP so sorry to hear this. She sounds like she was in it for the money only and she really didn't care for children at all sadly. :((
I would advise you next time to get an older Nanny. Not trying to stereotype here, but a 22 yr old is typically still young and likes to text, Facebook, etc...and cannot handle the true responsibilities that a caring for a young child entails. I suggest a Nanny over 27 next time.
I have been employed with a family since I was 21 and I have always been a good nanny. I agree a majority of younger nannies may not be serious about it but op please don't stereotype against younger nannies. Younger nannies often need more guidance and training yet can often be molded easier than older nannies who may be set in their ways. Just like everyone else there are good younger nannies and bad :)
Age ain't nothin' but a number! I started nannying at 19 years old and was not on my phone texting while on the job, nor was I on the computer or hanging out in my car. There are great nannies and horrible nannies, regardless of age.
OP, sorry about your bad experience but glad that you are rid of her!
I am a mother who actually posts in her Care.com ads that I want a nanny over 25. Sure it might sound unfair, but I have had young and inexperienced nannies in their early 20's who do not have the maturity and life experience that an older nanny possesses.
So sorry this happened to your family. In hiring your next nanny, speak extensively with her references, and also assess whether the references have the same standards of care that you do. Don't settle for positive comments alone. Some parents are reluctant to admit they used a less than stellar nanny. Ask specific questions about her performance. Once you hire a new nanny, ask your housekeeper for feedback, come home unexpectedly, have a friend drop by, until you feel comfortable. Good luck.
Sorry that youve had such a bad experience OP vut well done for warning other prospective employers. To above posters: Please dont paint all of us young nannies with the same brush, professional, caring nannies will make the child their main priority regardless of their age. As a previous poster said their are good nannies and bad nannies, age is only a number, not a sign of irresponsibility.
To the PP who said she didn't want to stereotype: DON'T. There are plenty of younger nannies out there who are great at what they do, I used to be one of them.
To the PP who said she only hires over 25: what makes a 25 year old so much more mature than a 24 year old? Maturity is a mindset, not a number.
To the OP, I am sorry this happened to your family and I really hope this hasn't soured you on nannies. My only question is why did your housekeeper wait until Alyssa was gone before she decided to tell you about all the neglect? That gives me a big red flag about her lack of integrity.
OP, good for you for reporting this nanny! LIke you said, even if she didn't intentionally hurt your child, leaving an 18 month old alone is unacceptable. So is leaving him in front of the TV when the parents forbid that. I hope you have found a truly good nanny now, and do't feel bad, a lot of nannies are really good at the Jekyll/Hyde game.
OP you stated that you paid your nanny the going rate that daycares charge. This is probably why your nanny turned out to be so bad. You probably were not paying her a "Nanny Rate" which should be double or triple what a daycare rate is. It sucks, but you get what you pay for in life.
Anyways, I don't mean to sound insensitive of your situation. I am truly sorry for what you had to go through. However, next time you hire a nanny, please pay her an appropriate nanny wage. Just to be safe.
FYI other posters, an older nanny has more common sense, life experience and wisdom than someone younger who is still wet behind the ears. It's a fact...not an opinion.
I was excited to see a part from someone in orange county, until I read it! I'm sorry you had such a bad first experience op! I'm not sure if you hired another nanny yet, if not I would try care.com, up your she requirement and the salary. If upping the salary isn't possible I suggest a day care. Having a nanny is expensive in OC so your either going to need to spend more or sadly lower your standards.
I also wanted to weigh in on the age issue. I've been a nanny for over 10 years now, and started when I was only 17. I have to admit that when I started I was not a very good nanny. I lacked the knowledge and experience that comes with age. I would have never left a child alone or put them in front of the tv for hours, but I didn't have the tools I needed to properly discipline and educate the children I watched. Now, after 10 years I can honestly say I'm one of the greatest nannies I've ever met. In fact my charges teacher came up to me last month and told me how in her 20 years of teaching she has never seen another caregiver as awesome as me. I hate to stereotype, but with age comes experience...
I'm sorry you're going through this, but at least you found out before something tragic occured.
Net time around it sounds as though you'll need to up your salary. If you can't afford a wage increase perhaps try a daycare. There are just a many bad nannies on the care sites as on Craigslist. It's a chance you take. You may want to try a reputable agency in your area.
As far as age issue age and wisdom don't always go hand in hand. Nor does quality care.
I've had and known some wonderful caregivers that were barely over 20 and horrific ones in their 40s or older.
I agree that older nannies have more life experience than younger nannies. I would NEVER hire a nanny who was twenty to watch my children. She would be too young, immature and inexperienced with children compared to an older and wiser nanny.
I see tons of ads on Care, sittercity and CL where these twenty year olds say they have like 11 yrs of experience. So they started babysitting when they were 9?
You are absolutely wrong about the salary (I have researched this extensively and now in conducting my Care.com interviews, I am finding that my salary was well within the asking rate and I have also compared notes with several other local women) so you are simply wrong with "You get what you pay for". This reasoning a) misses the point entirely and b) attempts to provide a false reason to excuse inexcusable behavior.
Debate about the age issue all you want -- obviously experience and natural talent are essential for quality, just like in any other profession!
But do stop with the money issue as it's wrong, wrong, wrong and a total red herring (unless you think I should be paying $50/hr for a single child, in which case, you are right -- I cannot afford a nanny in the OC!)
FYI Care.com's caluclator and what parents list isn't the best indicator of what to pay a nanny. Neither are random local women or mothers as they very often pay and accept very low wages. If you are serious about a fair wage consult with an agency or career nannies in your area. There is a difference between someone looking to make some extra cah and calling themselves a nanny and someone that works as one professionally.
It's not so much to excuse her behavior, but to make you aware that if you are paying below the acceptable rate for a career nanny you are pricing yourself out of the responsible, qualified caregiver you want.
$50 may be too high for you , but $20/hr or more is not unheard of for your area.
The only reason I would hesitate to hire someone in their twenties is that's a very fluid time in someone's life they may not be able to agree to work for me 3 years.
I hope things work out for you next time, OP. I'm in no place to comment on the salary as I don't know the specifics. I also know you can offer the best wages in the world and still end up with a bad nanny. Whatever you do trust your gut.
As for the age thing, it's funny I recently was interviewd & hired by a family looking for a nanny in the 20 range because they needed someone who could be energetic with the kids along with all the other things. There previous nanny was older and no longer had the energy.
you shouldn't beat yourself up. It was not your fault that you were deliberatly lied to. This little girl has a lot of growing up to do if she is going to treat her job like this. Don't be a nanny if you don't want to take care of children nicely.
OP I suggest you hire an older nanny. Older nannies are much more stable, mature and have lots of experience that needs to be acquired in their youth. Younger nannies may move, go to school and just goof off.
Okay off the age issue.
I am sorry this happened to you. Please pay a better salary next time. Sure..it is no guarantee you will get a stellar nanny for your child, but it will up the chance vs. paying just a daycare wage.
I ask if it is a good choice to post personal information about this nanny's medical condition? I think it is inappropriate.
To OP: I 100% believe that you had a bad experience with this nanny, and I am sorry for you. But I really hope to get across my opinion that I don't think it is right to post that your ex-nanny's medical condition along with her name and personal information. Why did you feel the need to do this? I really am curious.
But you say you found her on a care website, so why not post this review there?
I assume her picture is up there with a spot for reviews. If you don't leave an honest review there sans info on her medical condition, she'll look like a good nanny for some other unsuspecting mom.
I cannot believe how condescending some of you are towards young nannies! "Younger nannies may move, go to school and just goof off." Yes, a younger nanny may decide to move away or start school. So could an older nanny! That's why you ask in the interview what their plans for the next year is and you ask them to sign a contract. And why would someone goof off simply because she is younger? I could say the same thing, because someone is older, she is more likely to be lazy because has less energy. Both statements are over-exaggerated and stereotypical, so therefore false. I started my nanny career when I was 22 years old and was hired because the family had just let their 40-something nanny go because she couldn't handle their toddler and new baby at the same time. They were a little hesitant in hiring me because I was so young and I hadn't ever been a nanny, but it worked out great and I ended up staying for almost 2 years until I yes, moved away as younger nannies tend to do (according to Ann). I'm now 29--would that make me a younger nanny, an older one or a middle-of-the-road nanny? Candace, if you think I would sign a 3-year contract right off the bat, you're crazy. That's not because I'm young, that's because there's no way I'm making that sort of commitment to anyone.
OP so sorry to hear this. She sounds like she was in it for the money only and she really didn't care for children at all sadly. :((
ReplyDeleteI would advise you next time to get an older Nanny. Not trying to stereotype here, but a 22 yr old is typically still young and likes to text, Facebook, etc...and cannot handle the true responsibilities that a caring for a young child entails. I suggest a Nanny over 27 next time.
Instead of worrying about age, perhaps next time you should look or your nanny another place than Craigslist.
ReplyDeleteAlso we have instincts for a reason. We shouldn't ignore them because it makes our lives easier ie a lower salary
I have been employed with a family since I was 21 and I have always been a good nanny. I agree a majority of younger nannies may not be serious about it but op please don't stereotype against younger nannies. Younger nannies often need more guidance and training yet can often be molded easier than older nannies who may be set in their ways. Just like everyone else there are good younger nannies and bad :)
ReplyDeleteAge ain't nothin' but a number! I started nannying at 19 years old and was not on my phone texting while on the job, nor was I on the computer or hanging out in my car. There are great nannies and horrible nannies, regardless of age.
ReplyDeleteOP, sorry about your bad experience but glad that you are rid of her!
I am a mother who actually posts in her Care.com ads that I want a nanny over 25. Sure it might sound unfair, but I have had young and inexperienced nannies in their early 20's who do not have the maturity and life experience that an older nanny possesses.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry this happened to your family. In hiring your next nanny, speak extensively with her references, and also assess whether the references have the same standards of care that you do. Don't settle for positive comments alone. Some parents are reluctant to admit they used a less than stellar nanny. Ask specific questions about her performance.
ReplyDeleteOnce you hire a new nanny, ask your housekeeper for feedback, come home unexpectedly, have a friend drop by, until you feel comfortable. Good luck.
Dana,
ReplyDeleteThere are some very good nannies who use Craigslist. In NYC some of the top agencies regularly recruit nannies from CL.
Sorry that youve had such a bad experience OP vut well done for warning other prospective employers. To above posters: Please dont paint all of us young nannies with the same brush, professional, caring nannies will make the child their main priority regardless of their age. As a previous poster said their are good nannies and bad nannies, age is only a number, not a sign of irresponsibility.
ReplyDeleteTo the PP who said she didn't want to stereotype: DON'T. There are plenty of younger nannies out there who are great at what they do, I used to be one of them.
ReplyDeleteTo the PP who said she only hires over 25: what makes a 25 year old so much more mature than a 24 year old? Maturity is a mindset, not a number.
To the OP, I am sorry this happened to your family and I really hope this hasn't soured you on nannies. My only question is why did your housekeeper wait until Alyssa was gone before she decided to tell you about all the neglect? That gives me a big red flag about her lack of integrity.
OP, good for you for reporting this nanny! LIke you said, even if she didn't intentionally hurt your child, leaving an 18 month old alone is unacceptable. So is leaving him in front of the TV when the parents forbid that. I hope you have found a truly good nanny now, and do't feel bad, a lot of nannies are really good at the Jekyll/Hyde game.
ReplyDeleteOP you stated that you paid your nanny the going rate that daycares charge. This is probably why your nanny turned out to be so bad. You probably were not paying her a "Nanny Rate" which should be double or triple what a daycare rate is. It sucks, but you get what you pay for in life.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I don't mean to sound insensitive of your situation. I am truly sorry for what you had to go through. However, next time you hire a nanny, please pay her an appropriate nanny wage. Just to be safe.
FYI other posters, an older nanny has more common sense, life experience and wisdom than someone younger who is still wet behind the ears. It's a fact...not an opinion.
I was excited to see a part from someone in orange county, until I read it! I'm sorry you had such a bad first experience op! I'm not sure if you hired another nanny yet, if not I would try care.com, up your she requirement and the salary. If upping the salary isn't possible I suggest a day care. Having a nanny is expensive in OC so your either going to need to spend more or sadly lower your standards.
ReplyDeleteI also wanted to weigh in on the age issue. I've been a nanny for over 10 years now, and started when I was only 17. I have to admit that when I started I was not a very good nanny. I lacked the knowledge and experience that comes with age. I would have never left a child alone or put them in front of the tv for hours, but I didn't have the tools I needed to properly discipline and educate the children I watched. Now, after 10 years I can honestly say I'm one of the greatest nannies I've ever met. In fact my charges teacher came up to me last month and told me how in her 20 years of teaching she has never seen another caregiver as awesome as me. I hate to stereotype, but with age comes experience...
I'm sorry you're going through this, but at least you found out before something tragic occured.
ReplyDeleteNet time around it sounds as though you'll need to up your salary. If you can't afford a wage increase perhaps try a daycare.
There are just a many bad nannies on the care sites as on Craigslist. It's a chance you take. You may want to try a reputable agency in your area.
As far as age issue age and wisdom don't always go hand in hand. Nor does quality care.
I've had and known some wonderful caregivers that were barely over 20 and horrific ones in their 40s or older.
I agree that older nannies have more life experience than younger nannies. I would NEVER hire a nanny who was twenty to watch my children. She would be too young, immature and inexperienced with children compared to an older and wiser nanny.
ReplyDeleteI see tons of ads on Care, sittercity and CL where these twenty year olds say they have like 11 yrs of experience. So they started babysitting when they were 9?
You are absolutely wrong about the salary (I have researched this extensively and now in conducting my Care.com interviews, I am finding that my salary was well within the asking rate and I have also compared notes with several other local women) so you are simply wrong with "You get what you pay for". This reasoning a) misses the point entirely and b) attempts to provide a false reason to excuse inexcusable behavior.
ReplyDeleteDebate about the age issue all you want -- obviously experience and natural talent are essential for quality, just like in any other profession!
But do stop with the money issue as it's wrong, wrong, wrong and a total red herring (unless you think I should be paying $50/hr for a single child, in which case, you are right -- I cannot afford a nanny in the OC!)
FYI Care.com's caluclator and what parents list isn't the best indicator of what to pay a nanny.
ReplyDeleteNeither are random local women or mothers as they very often pay and accept very low wages. If you are serious about a fair wage consult with an agency or career nannies in your area. There is a difference between someone looking to make some extra cah and calling themselves a nanny and someone that works as one professionally.
It's not so much to excuse her behavior, but to make you aware that if you are paying below the acceptable rate for a career nanny you are pricing yourself out of the responsible, qualified caregiver you want.
$50 may be too high for you , but $20/hr or more is not unheard of for your area.
The only reason I would hesitate to hire someone in their twenties is that's a very fluid time in someone's life they may not be able to agree to work for me 3 years.
ReplyDeleteThose who wouldn't hire a 20 something say so because they feel threatned by her youth, not because they are worried she'll do a crap job.
ReplyDeleteI hope things work out for you next time, OP. I'm in no place to comment on the salary as I don't know the specifics. I also know you can offer the best wages in the world and still end up with a bad nanny. Whatever you do trust your gut.
ReplyDeleteAs for the age thing, it's funny I recently was interviewd & hired by a family looking for a nanny in the 20 range because they needed someone who could be energetic with the kids along with all the other things. There previous nanny was older and no longer had the energy.
you shouldn't beat yourself up. It was not your fault that you were deliberatly lied to. This little girl has a lot of growing up to do if she is going to treat her job like this. Don't be a nanny if you don't want to take care of children nicely.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry this happened to your family, OP. I'm very glad nothing tragic occured while she wasn't watching your baby.
ReplyDeleteDon't be scared to hire a nanny in the future even a young one.
I assure you not all of us nannies in out twenties are so irresponsible.
Robyn, please don't advertise your business on my blog... especially since it has nothing to do with childcare.
ReplyDeleteAll of your posts will be deleted.
OP I suggest you hire an older nanny. Older nannies are much more stable, mature and have lots of experience that needs to be acquired in their youth. Younger nannies may move, go to school and just goof off.
ReplyDeleteOkay off the age issue.
I am sorry this happened to you. Please pay a better salary next time. Sure..it is no guarantee you will get a stellar nanny for your child, but it will up the chance vs. paying just a daycare wage.
Ok, let me try this again by the rules.
ReplyDeleteI ask if it is a good choice to post personal information about this nanny's medical condition? I think it is inappropriate.
To OP: I 100% believe that you had a bad experience with this nanny, and I am sorry for you. But I really hope to get across my opinion that I don't think it is right to post that your ex-nanny's medical condition along with her name and personal information. Why did you feel the need to do this? I really am curious.
I hope this gets printed.
I'm sorry you had a bad experience.
ReplyDeleteBut you say you found her on a care website, so why not post this review there?
I assume her picture is up there with a spot for reviews. If you don't leave an honest review there sans info on her medical condition, she'll look like a good nanny for some other unsuspecting mom.
I cannot believe how condescending some of you are towards young nannies! "Younger nannies may move, go to school and just goof off." Yes, a younger nanny may decide to move away or start school. So could an older nanny! That's why you ask in the interview what their plans for the next year is and you ask them to sign a contract. And why would someone goof off simply because she is younger? I could say the same thing, because someone is older, she is more likely to be lazy because has less energy. Both statements are over-exaggerated and stereotypical, so therefore false. I started my nanny career when I was 22 years old and was hired because the family had just let their 40-something nanny go because she couldn't handle their toddler and new baby at the same time. They were a little hesitant in hiring me because I was so young and I hadn't ever been a nanny, but it worked out great and I ended up staying for almost 2 years until I yes, moved away as younger nannies tend to do (according to Ann). I'm now 29--would that make me a younger nanny, an older one or a middle-of-the-road nanny? Candace, if you think I would sign a 3-year contract right off the bat, you're crazy. That's not because I'm young, that's because there's no way I'm making that sort of commitment to anyone.
ReplyDelete