My 19-month-old son was recently threatened by a violent nanny at the Ottendorfer Library in the East Village. She's threatened to harm other children, according to another nanny who contacted me. I was able to get a blurry photo of the violent nanny before she was alerted by another nanny that I took her picture. This time, she threatened only me, but I was able to run away with my son in my arms before she was able to threaten to physically harm him again. She is the one sitting in the middle wearing a striped shirt. The other two Nannies were not involved.
I wrote this post for my personal blog which gets very little traffic. I am looking for any forums that would help me spread my story and protect other children, especially the one in this woman's care.
I know you're all busy ahead of Thanksgiving, but I appreciate any help getting my message across to a broad swath of New Yorkers. The nanny regularly attends the 11:30 a.m. story time at the East Village library, though I do not know where her charge lives. Many nannies bring children there from other neighborhoods, some from outside of Manhattan. Thank you.
My, my! We are VERY dramatic, aren't we? I would have MUCH more sympathy for you if you didn't just go on a nanny-bashing rant based on the behavior of ONE woman. Lady, the other nannies there stayed out of it because they are responsible for the safety of their own charges, not because they're "anti-parent and siding with a criminal". And you're so redundant and dramatic!! It really makes me question whether you were so innocent as you claim! Methinks the lady doth protest too much...
ReplyDeleteNYC, those are my thoughts exactly. OP, I read through both of your blog posts and I still haven't figured out what "crime" this nanny committed and how the librarian has ruined your friendship by allowing her to stay at the library. Yes, she yelled at you...though I kind of have my doubts with that too, she may have just been a little harsh with her words. Either way, that is not a criminal act. She may have told her charge to hit your precious angel back. That's still not a crime.
ReplyDeleteThe part that really got me is you said you would never want to hire a nanny but then you went on to say that you have a "lovely babysitter" come in for 3 hours a day so you can go work out or whatever. Sounds like she's a part-time nanny to me! Hypocrisy much?
Her statement saying "her blog gets very little traffic" and the fact that one of her tags was "heart murmur"(only in extreme duress, mind you!) made me laugh for countless hours.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I agree with MissMannah in that I don't see what crime was committed. Verbally assault and a "violent crime" aren't exactly in the same category
Funny to see a bunch of angry and defensive nannies take the side of a psycho who attacked a toddler.
ReplyDeleteLady, you can't have it both ways, calling her a "dangerous criminal" and saying "everyone knows she's crazy" but refusing to go to the cops.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...It seems I missed the part where the nanny is violent. I read and re-read the post and I feel like I'm missing something. There doesn't really seem to be anything described as violent and certainly there was no mention of a toddler being attacked.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to NY, a place where people oftentimes yell at each other as a form of communication.
@Brooklynmama: Actually, the mother here prevented the assault. "...so I stuck it out for another five minutes until she lunged toward Michael Alexander and crouched down. I heard her say "I am going to hit him back." I gently tapped her shoulder and went to grab my son to remove him from her violent attack. She screamed that I was a "liar," and that she'd said she "was going to her child hit him."
ReplyDeleteMike, I read that. I also read when in another entry the OP states that she in fact misheard the nanny and that she acknowledged that she was wrong in assuming the nanny was going to hit her child.
ReplyDeleteBesides, any mother who truly feels her child is in danger would have called the police, alerted library staff or security. In my opinion, the OP is overly dramatic. I hope her murmur doesn't suffer too greatly upon reading other people's opinion on this.
And one more thing before my turkey beckons me...I read several entries on OP's blog and quite frequently she gripes about some emotional trauma she's had to endure based on other people saying things not even directly to her. Old lady yells at someone at the gym and suddenly she's rattled and her whole day is ruined??? Chill out, lady.
ReplyDelete@Brooklynmomma,C'mon, you didn't you just lecture me about life in the big, bad city? The blog's pretty clear -- she got her child out of harm's way and considered going to the police later (where, by the way, all you can do is file a report -- w/out a 911 call or a cop present at the scene, very little would happen). Getting the child out of the situation is the logical thing to do. Calling the police and waiting around? Not so much.
ReplyDeleteI can tell that you are a writer. Writers like to embelosh situations to make them more dramatic than they are.
ReplyDeleteI can also tell that you are not lying. You were clearly upset about this incident. Unfortunately, this woman has every right to be in story time, just like you do. They can't kick her out. The only thing that stricks me as odd is that the library wouldn't remove the woman if she was "screaming, cursing, and chasing after you" I think any public establishment would have asked the woman to calm down or leave.
I highly doubt that this is the only library is NY. Maybe you could go to a different library? Even though you won't have your "friends" at this new place, but you say that stroy time is for you son anyway. It shouldn't matter if you are in the position where you have to make new friends.
If you absolutely must return to this library for this exact story time because there are no other options for you or your son, then I suggest going. Don't make eye contact, don't smile, don't even think about her. Bring with you a tape recorder that you say you are going to use to "record the story being told" for some part in a book that you are writing about.
You will have this recorder out in the open for everyone to see. It is illegal to record people without their consent. This way there is no question about it. If she comes up to you and starts to scream and yell again just smile at her and say that you have no idea what she is talking about. (Make sure your recorder is on and recording - EVERYTHING")
If you tell her that you are not aware of what she is talking about she will probably go on to say how your child hit her charge on the top of the head. Then hopefully she will say that she is planning on teaching you son a lesson, by either hitting him back or getting her charge to hit him. (This would be the ideal process of events) After she says all that just remind her you have already explained to your son about hitting others. Hopefully she will continue to rant and rave and "freak-out" like you say she is prone to do.
Now you have it all on recording and you can take it to the library manager, the cops, or your peers. Whatever you feel is right for you to correct the situation.
What I think tho, is that if she was really as bad as you say she was, the library wouldn't allow her to come back. no matter if all her "partners in crime" sided with her and said she was in the right
Excellent suggestion Phoenix!
ReplyDeleteYes, the nanny sounds a bit "crazy." There are a lot of crazy people in NY. Personally, I feel it's safer (especially when I have kids with me) to just let things go or try to placate the person, since you never know when someone will have an over-the-top reaction to a minor thing. For me, that would include just apologizing on my child's behalf or whatever was necessary, rather than getting defensive. Especially since if other people are also there with children, their primary focus is keeping their own kids safe (as a pp stated). They are not going to get involved and thus possibly put thier own children in harm's way. Nonetheless, sounds like a very stressful experience, and you have my condolences.
ReplyDeleteUh, yes, Anonymous. The most logical thing is to leave, not to seek out the help of Library security," which you apparently think is some sort of elite SWAT team...
ReplyDeleteHey Mike, stop trying to appear like just another reader... you're the OP's husband.
ReplyDeleteMike, the library security would have been a great start. They are no SWAT but they were hired to act as security. It is their job description.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, if this were me. I would never in a million years ever let someone else ruin something my kid enjoyed. If my kid liked that specific story time I would go every single time it was held. I would never let someone else force me out of any situation. I would go and ignore her and if she didn't leave me alone I would keep ignoring her. (If I wasn't with my kid I would have done a different tactic) But it seems to me this lady like the reaction she gets from people. SHe likes to scare people. So if you don't react she may just get bored and stop. I don't know since I wasn't there to judge her for myself. I am taking the OP's word that this lady is mentally unbalanced. Which seems odd to me because a library wouldn't let someone like that into story time, or even on the property. I think a lot has been exaggerated.
NYC or bust: youre so right. In a post on OP's blog, she reveals her husband's name is Mike. Good catch.
ReplyDeleteAlso: MPP, just wondering why you removed the link to her blog? I thought that was the whole point of this post...
I think some of the comments here are totally off track. I get why other nannies are mad, but this person never said ALL nannies were bad, just this one. She's here to warn people and the mom of this kid who is being watched by a woman who should not be with kids. Making a threat to physically harm someone IS A CRIME! This sounds dramatic because it is a dramatic event. This woman's kid was threatened and that is never OK. I had a similar experience when my son was about this age and if my husband was not in law enforcement that nanny would still be out there like this one. I don't think this is the first person to report the same nanny. There was a post on 19 March, 2007 on this same site and I think it is the same nanny working for a different person. You can read it. http://isawyournanny.blogspot.com/2007/03/ottendorfer-library-in-east-village-nyc.html Keep on track here and think about what happened to this woman's son. She is not exaggerating and she is not blaming nannies in general, just the one bad one.
ReplyDeleteDaria, did you follow the link?
ReplyDeleteAlso, Daria, what makes you think, from such a vague description of a nanny 3.5 years ago who just happened to be at the same library, that this nanny is the same one?? NYC is a big place with lots of nannies.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous, I think you need to read it again. She never said that. She is not blaming nannies, just the one bad one. It sure looks like the same one that has been around for years. http://isawyournanny.blogspot.com/2007/03/ottendorfer-library-in-east-village-nyc.html I get that if you are a nanny you get angry when any nanny gets a bad rap but this one needs to own it because she did commit a crime. My husband is in law enforcement. Are there bad cops? Sure there are a lot of them and he is the first one to call out the bad ones. It is the same in every profession and it makes nannies look bad if they don't take this mom's side. This is a bad nanny and any defense of what she did is wrong.
ReplyDeleteTeddy Westside,
ReplyDeleteOP sent me an e-mail asking us to remove the link because she received a nasty phone call and it has personal information identifying her family.
MPP: I see.
ReplyDeleteJust to give everyone a little writing sample... Here's what OP wrote when her son had to stay awake past his bedtime:
"During the car ride to the train station, our perpetually cheerful son cried to convey an agony that ripped my heart to shreds and eroded any semblance of sanity I was able to muster."
So yeah. "Attacking a toddler" was probably a little exaggerated too. I'm not saying she didn't yell or act threateningly... But OP clearly has a flair for the dramatic.
MPP--Whoa, I can't believe someone would stoop so low and call her like that! Crazy! You did the right thing to take down the link.
ReplyDeleteDaria--I think the problem is that the OP sounds like she is exaggerating. If she's not, then yes this nanny is terrible. But we are thinking people here, and when something sounds off, we have every right to point it out. I think the readers of ISYN have proven that we are not afraid of calling out a bad nanny when we see one.
Oh and thanks Teddy :)
ReplyDelete@NYCorBUST, I really do not think is an exaggeration because I had almost exactly the same thing happen to me. Like I said my husband could handle the situation and he came with me in uniform with a partner. The nanny went crazy in front of two cops and it as almost exactly the same thing. It is not as easy to get help from a cop if you do not have a personal connection. This woman is not telling us anything new but it is important to tell it every time it happens. This happens in every neighborhood in New York and it is important for victims anywhere to speak out. I have a turkey to cook. Peace for Thanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being so understanding...
ReplyDeleteAnd to NYCorBust: you are 100% correct.
"I think the readers of ISYN have proven that we are not afraid of calling out a bad nanny when we see one."
I think the Readers of ISYN are for the most part very fair and give an earful or empathy whenever necessary.
So this "crazy nanny" went berzerk in front of two cops and they did what?
ReplyDeleteYeah I can't force myself to feel sorry for OP getting threatening phone calls. What kind of moron puts identifying info on her public blog? I didn't look it over, but she obviously has her last name or phone number on there if someone managed to call her that easily. And she calls her son by name multiple times, and willingly linked her blog to this site and more or less begged us all to check it out.
ReplyDeleteAnd people are telling *me* to get a life??
My thoughts exactly, Miss Mannah. That info shouldn't be so easily accessible.
ReplyDeleteI think its safe to say OP didn't get the reaction she was looking for... Can't wait to read what she has to say about us on her blog ;)
@ MissMannah you r being unnecessarily mean.
ReplyDeleteIt's a walk in the park to find someone's address AND phone number these days... I should know since I found all three of the Hanson band's addresses AND phone numbers and Danielle Steel's address a few years back when she was living in San Francisco. And I didn't break the law or spend a single penny to do it... Just simple cross-referencing between what google provided about those people and a certain people search website.
So, no... she doesn't "obviously" have to have put that info on her blog, unless you have actually seen it there... And I can't believe you are as good as saying that she asked for it (the threatening phone calls)!!!!
If not, you are simply being rude and mean to her regardless if she is a drama queen or not.
Have a great day :)
OP...can you explain to us more about how the Nanny threatened your son? What did she do to him? Also, did you notify any librarians about her? If she is threatening other children, she should not only be barred permanently from the library, but she also should have the police called on her as well.
ReplyDeleteI am not being unnecessarily mean, just plain old mean. She did have it coming, because she should know that if you put your own info out there, people will find you. It is a no-brainer. Also, do you live in Tulsa? Because I do and I know exactly where the Hansons used to live. They are in fact acquaintances of the family and I can tell you for a fact that people here do not stalk them. But I do not know where they are living right now because they don't put their personal info all over the internet, but I'm sure I could find it easily enough if I tried.
ReplyDeleteOP I like the coffee mug idea. I think I would just fill it with some chocolates or a bag of her favorite coffee. No I wouldn't get them movie tickets, or money for a restaurant. It would make them feel really awkward I am sure.
ReplyDeleteJust to weird in my opinion.
Get little gifts for the kids if interestd.
opps I am sorry posted this under the wrong post. Was meant to be under Gift Ideas for MB or DB
ReplyDeleteNanny V, how did you find the Hanson's address??? OMG, I used to be totally in love with them (well, with Zac especially)....;)
ReplyDelete