from the Stir... I have two nannies to care for my twins. Not because I'm rich and fancy and have one for each child (could you imagine?!), but because they work on different days and I have them both as part of a nanny share. I wish I just had one all week -- the original nanny we hired when I went back to work when my kids were 12 weeks old. Oh how easy paying her would be, how I wouldn't be forced to compare and wish the other one was more like this one -- but she's with another family on the other days.
So that other nanny ... well ... she likes to take naps. On the job. Read the whole article here: My Child's Nanny Is Not Allowed to Take a Nap.
This article was fun to read...and funny to boot. I love how the author added some humor to it, for instance..thinking the snoring was a snake being used upstairs to unclog a drain. That is hysterical!!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, here is my opinion of taking a nap on the job. I believe if a nanny is working more than say....six or seven hours per day and the children take naps, she should take one as well. As long as she is next to the baby monitor or the child's crib/bed, then it is acceptable to me. Even more so if she is a student who attends school at night or has another nanny position. As a Nanny, I have napped when the child is napping, but I am a light sleeper and ALWAYS have woken up when the child does. I also cannot sleep very comfortably in someone else's home so it is easier for me to sleep lightly. I think being a Nanny to toddler twins would be exhausting no matter how much I was being paid. More so if it was full-time. I think the Nanny is entitled to a nap as long as it is a "light nap." But my problem here is w/this Nanny in question. It seems she is in a very deep sleep here (the snoring, not waking up when spoken to, etc..), so I think she should be fired. If she is in such a deep sleep, it would be detrimental to the children involved here to keep her on. When if she slept for an hour while the twins cried to get out of their cribs? Perhaps they were hungry, in soiled diapers or just wanted out of their beds??? For a Nanny to sleep through all of that is unacceptable to me.
You snooze...you lose....
Lucky for me my boss allows me to nap and there have been a few times I've needed a nap. I'm a light sleeper and I always sleep with the baby monitor by my ear and I always set the alarm on my phone so I never sleep more than an hour, even though in all reality I only sleep about 20 min at a time.
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ReplyDeletere-posting the comment I made at The Stir...
ReplyDeleteFrankly, it sounds like you never really liked this nanny all that much and the sleeping provided you with the excuse you felt you needed to fire her. Why not try to nannynap the nanny you do like and have her FT? Sure, you'd have to pay her more of your GOOD money, but you say that you'd be fine with that, so...why not?
Of course, that begs the question, what would you want the good nanny to do when your children were sleeping and all possible child related chores had been done? Should she sit upright, on full alert, waiting for the tiniest signal that there was something productive she could do since she was "on the clock"? Or would you allow her the chance to rest and re-group? Read a book? Surf the internet? Slouch on your sofa and relax completely?
Let me hand you a clue - unless a nanny can actually LEAVE YOUR HOUSE, she is not getting an actual break. She is still on duty, no matter what. When you are tired and need a break from your work, can you get up and leave your home/office? I bet you can! Or maybe you even (GASP!) drink an energy drink!!
The ultimate reality is that nannies are human too. Accept it, deal with it, and you will be happier. We get tired, we get grumpy, we even want to take a break sometimes, but we (usually) do all we can to power through until naptime, then we sigh and relax for a bit. Just like you do.
(Yes, I do think this mom sounded like a Big Beeyotch. I also think the nanny in question should have been fired for being so deeply asleep she didn't wake when (IF?) BBM "banged cupboards". I just don't really like the writer's attitude.)
I think that being a nanny is a professional job..unless I am doing an overnight I don't sleep..I get tired but I also think that its my responsibility to take care of myself..I know I need at least 8 hours of actual sleep and an hour to wind down..I prioritize that. I think some downtime is fine..reading for 20 minutes or checking my email..but let's remember this is a job!! I do know a nanny last year who would go take a nap in the parents bed...several times they came home and she was in their bed with the kids..needless to say she was replaced.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't want your nanny to nap ask her not to nap. Employers are as many and varied as nannies are, and some have no issue with it. My current and past have all told me specifically - and without prompting - that I was free to sleep while the kids were (my current boss said my first day that I was free to do whatever I wanted while the girls - toddler twins - were sleeping, but that she preferred I didn't "hit the bottle" - which I hope is kind of a "duh" for everyone...).
ReplyDeleteThe entire time I was reading this, I kept thinking "what is wrong with this woman?" The mom, not the nanny. I know what's wrong with the nanny, she isn't sleeping enough at night and is probably overworked during the day. But the mom sounds awful. Seriously, two nannies and she works at home? Does she have a husband? Does she spend any real time with her kids? Also, if she was that concerned, why didn't she just tap the nanny on the shoulder instead of being all passive-aggressive by slamming doors? And so now she's looking for another nanny without even discussing this problem with her. I hope I never work for this woman!
ReplyDeleteI hate the term, "on the clock"...it's as if the nanny must be in motion every second since she is on the clock. Nonsense. What people do not take into consideration here is that a nanny typically does not get a regular lunch break like most jobs nor does she get any 15 min coffee/cigarette breaks either. Since this is a domestic job and there is usually no one else around to watch the child(ren) for an hour a day, the nanny must make due with working sometimes (!) 8-14 hr days. Her only time to rest may be nap time. I think as long as a nanny is next to the child or the baby monitor, she should be allowed a power nap. Some businesses have even set up nap areas since employers recognize a tired worker benefits no one. Human beings are not robots that can go on and on, yes, they need breaks to re-group and should be given them. A refreshed nanny is a good nanny. I wouldn't want someone watching my precious children who was burned out.
ReplyDeleteLet's just say I'm glad you're not my employer...
ReplyDeleteIt seems like she PASSED OUT WHILE TRYING TO STAY AWAKE. This happens, I know I do it even in class when I'm trying to desperately stay awake during lectures. Personally, if the kids are napping at the same time, I don't see a problem with napping with them one bit. It's possible your nanny even feels the same way about naps, which is why she isn't in a bed or in a comfortable chair while napping, but seems to have fallen asleep reading or something.
And another thing, you mention your worry that if she's this tired all the time, is she capable or awake enough to take care of them when crossing busy roads, etc.? Well, maybe if you let her take a nap with the children, she wouldn't be tired when they're awake. Just something to think about.
What I meant to say was it's possible your nanny feels the same way YOU do about naps
ReplyDeleteNannies are hard workers and if the kids are napping, a recharge is a great thing! I would rather my nanny nap when the kids are napping and be rested later in the day when they are active. I would put a nice comfy recliner in the babies' room and let her have her rest time. Apparently she needs it. Either that or I would ask her to put a nursery monitor next to her ear so she hears them when they wake. Nannies don't get breaks from their work. I think this mom is looking for a reason to let this nanny go. She is being passive-aggressive. If she doesn't like the napping, she needs to say something. She is the employer.
ReplyDeleteNannies - nap on!!! Europeans do it and studies suggest it is beneficial.
I don't think napping is appropriate unless the nanny is working extremely long hours, e.g. more than an 8 or 9 hour day on a regular basis without any kind of break. It's true that nannies can't go out on their 'break' like a lot of other employees can, but that is what the job entails. If the hours are reasonable then it is up to the nanny to make sure she is sufficiently rested to do her job and remain alert for any problems while the children are napping. I had a nanny whose hours were 8 a.m. to 4:15 p.m. and she did almost nothing during the 2-3 hours of nap times, when she often napped herself. I came in and out of the house a couple of times when she was napping and she did not wake up, which worried me. For this and other reasons, as soon as I could I switched my kids to a preschool.
ReplyDeleteI don't see anything wrong with occasionally napping while the kids nap as long as the nanny is able to wake up easily. In the almost 2 years that I have worked for my currently family I've napped a handful of times. My boss actually encourages it! She knows when the kids are awake they have my full attention so she feels giving my body time to rest will help me be ready to play with them in the afternoon. Normally I get 8 to 9 hours of sleep a night, but there are occasionally some nights that I get less sleep. I think remaining sleep deprived would be far more dangerous than taking a nap while the children are sleeping.
ReplyDeleteDo you have her working extremely long hours? Or getting there really early in the morning? Does she get adequate breaks? Taking care of toddler TWINS is an enormous amount of work. If you are not alright with her napping on the job, you need to have a talk with her. It sounds like something else is going on and she is sleep deprived. An exhausted nanny isn't okay, so maybe you as the employer are doing something wrong here, such as not giving her breaks or working her too hard and too long. Either way, have a real talk with her to find out what she needs. As for the commenter that said "She's on the clock- and she can find SOMETHING to do that is related to the children"(a comment on the full article in The Stir) - nannies are allowed BREAKS, just like any other job. Come on.
ReplyDeleteI agree with "A nanny who cares" that a tired nanny is more dangerous than a napping nanny. And to "You Snooze..." if you were quiet when you came home and your nanny was napping, then that is why she probably did not wake up. Your nanny was working over 8 hrs per day, and caring for more than one child..so I completely understand why she was tired. Childcare is hard work, it is mentally and physically draining work (but very rewarding as well!) and if your nanny had a few hours per day to rest, you should not have had any problem with her napping. Would you rather have had her read a book, check her e-mail or do jumping jacks?
ReplyDeleteJust sayin'.............
I also agree that it depends on the hours of the nanny.
ReplyDeleteSAHMs are told "nap when your baby naps" because the baby wakes up to feed at night.
Nannies who work 9 hours a day or less usually (unless they are working another job) have the luxary of getting a proper night's sleep and most adults can make do with 7-9 hours of sleep a night without napping.
On the other hand, if the nanny is working 12-15 hour days caring for an infant or toddler (or multiple kids) with NO break, napping is perfectly acceptable as the nanny has very little down time and may not get enough sleep at night plus the "me" time that nannies who only work 8 hour days get.
I nanny for a 8 month old girl right now and my hours are 10-6; she is generally taking her AM nap when I get there and takes her PM nap from 3 to 4:30: I usually do light housework and then go on my laptop when she sleeps.
Years ago, I was working for another family from 7-7 five days a week taking care of two kids; the older one was 3 and the younger one was 5 months when I started- when I got them to both nap at the same time, I would take a 30 minute snooze myself but I'm a light sleeper and the parents knew and approved.
I have two points... one, maybe she was feeling sick, run down, and just really needed a rest. Maybe the mom could have asked her if she was feeling alright and if she wanted to go home early. Maybe she felt like she MUST go to work even when feeling a little ill, or risk being yelled ator losing her job.
ReplyDeleteTwo... most people get a paid break on the job. Nannies generally don't, unless they manage to grab one while the children are napping or playing independently, and even then they tend to feel like they're doing something wrong! Maybe this nanny just REALLY need a break. Don't be too harsh on her!
I agree with Macaroni and Cheese..us women live in a society where we must be Superwoman and it gets very tiring living up to such a title.
ReplyDeleteOnce a month, I get horrible fatigue around my time of the month and if I could, I would sleep the whole 24 hrs of each day if I could. Also, Nannies who watch small children usually catch whatever they may have. I.e., sniffles, tummy aches, etc...so maybe she didn't want to be a flaky nanny and not show up to work, but on the other hand maybe she wasn't feeling well. In some professions, the employee is allowed to go home mid-day if she feels ill...usually this is not an option that a nanny gets to enjoy.