I am a nanny for an one year old, whose parents are very involved... almost too involved.. mom works from home - she interupts naptime. Baby's crying because she is over tired or natually doesn't want to sleep... anyway mom gets her playing, reading books, talking to her - everything but her sleep time. "Oh, she's crying - she is not ready for nap". HELP!!!
Thursday
Mom Keeps Interupting Baby's Naptime
I am a nanny for an one year old, whose parents are very involved... almost too involved.. mom works from home - she interupts naptime. Baby's crying because she is over tired or natually doesn't want to sleep... anyway mom gets her playing, reading books, talking to her - everything but her sleep time. "Oh, she's crying - she is not ready for nap". HELP!!!
I know your PAINS. I've had to live it 3 yrs. My advice is RUN because it's not going to get any better. It's naps now, soon it will at feeding time, bath time etc etc.. Worst yet she's probably testing the waters for how it feels to be a SAHM. Don't be shock if she decides to stay home completely.
ReplyDeleteI've been there, and I seriously doubt it's going to get better. For me, it got much worse. As the baby grew (and another baby was born) the mother stayed just as involved but it became a much bigger problem when the "baby" became a toddler/preschooler. She interrupted our schedule, made us late for classes, and (most importantly) undermined me in front of the children. She contradicted me constantly and refused to listed to any of my input. I tried many time to talk with her politely and respectfully about the importance of routine and consistency. When the younger baby went through a brutal stage of separation anxiety, I asked her to visit with us for longer periods of time fewer times throughout the day (10-20 minutes three times a day perhaps instead of 1-2 minutes 30 times a day. That is not an exaggeration.) She flat-out refused and told me they were her children and she would do whatever she wanted. Obviously we went our separate ways.
ReplyDeleteI would not up and quit. But I would be alert. I would sit down and talk to her about this issue. Explain that you are trying to implement a routine and that it undermines your authority when she gets the baby out of bed after you have put her there. She may bristle a little (no matter how polite you are) but her long-term reaction is the key. If she works with you to rectify the situation, fantastic. If she continues on as she has been, start looking for a new job. Trust me, you don't want to be still dealing with this issue three years from now.
This is why I would never nanny for a stay at home or work from home mom or dad.
ReplyDeleteDitto Nanny Mary. I've done it once and will not do it again.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I am quitting my job. I can't stand working for stay at home parents. I always seem to find work in those positions, and I have finally had it.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is to look for another position...ASAP!! And make sure your next job is not for a parent who will be around. These types of jobs are recipes for disasters...complete train wrecks and can be buzzkill for the nanny profession.
ReplyDeleteI think the mother is trying to keep the baby awake so the baby will oversleep at night and she will have more "down" time after you leave. What a horrible mother she is {!}
Working for SAH parents can be very difficult. As they get older, they will know that they can get away with more when mom and dad are around. I would give a direction and they would go up to mom and dad asking if they "had to do it" or "she's making me." Don't play that good cop, bad cop routine. If the parents don't back you up/ undermine your athority (which is why the hired you in the first place) leave... quickly. I get back up about 80% of the time. It's still a work in progress...
ReplyDeleteI could never work for a stay at home parent. I don't know how any nanny does it successfully. You couldn't pay me enough to do that type of job.
ReplyDeleteOnce again, the reason why I will never consider a job where one or both parents are at home for whatever reason! Do as ATL Nanny suggests and talk to your MB...and if it seems as though she is not receptive to what you say, start looking for a new job.
ReplyDeleteWhy not sit down with the mom and talk about it? Approach it from the angle of you understanding that mom needs to spend time with baby, but baby is getting confused when the times are irregular and inconsistent. Suggest a few options such as 1) mom joins you for lunch then takes baby for stories, cuddles and puts baby down for nap or 2) mom joins you after baby wakes up for special playtime whilst you get on with some chores. My MB is on maternity leave and so far things are going OK, but I have before worked for WAH parents and it was difficult at times.
ReplyDeleteI've been with a family like this for 2 years and every day has been like this. Sadly, it does not get better. The parents pop in and out all through out my 10+ hour days and have no respect for the schedule and rules they've had me impose and rules i myself imposed. Mommy has mommy guilt and both mom and dad don't discipline and give into every request the kids make, no matter how ridiculous. The kids know this so when the parents come home the tantrums ensue and the parents and grandparents keep them up 2 hrs past nap, feed them sweets in treats in place of meals, and let them skip nap and act disrespectful.
ReplyDeleteAfter a long struggle, and many attempts at making my frusteration clear, the parents have expressed they don't see a problem and i had to realize that this is one time i cant make a difference and it causes me 100x more stress fighting the battle so i'm lookin for a new family for fall when the kids start preschool.
Make peace with the fact that the mother will never get it and move on.