I work through an agency. I have been assigned to a new family this summer as my current mother won't be working. This past weekend, I went to watch the new kids for an afternoon to get to know them and the house better. I was interviewed by the father and have only spoken to the father...never the mother. I was informed at the interview that it was very important that I have a clean driving record as the mother had a dui. Well, I finally met her when I went to see the kids this weekend. She was wearing a brace on her hand and seemed a tad off. When she saw her daughter and I playing in the girls room, she waved and said hi to the child as if it were her niece she isn't close to and not actually her child. The father apologized to me and said that his wife would sleep for most of the afternoon while he was out. I am not sure what is going on. Was there an accident? Is she on pain medications or did something get seriously injured? I am wondering if I have the right to know as the moms odd behavior may have huge effects on the 3 kids. The family, nor the agency said anything.
Thursday
Do I have the right to know?
I work through an agency. I have been assigned to a new family this summer as my current mother won't be working. This past weekend, I went to watch the new kids for an afternoon to get to know them and the house better. I was interviewed by the father and have only spoken to the father...never the mother. I was informed at the interview that it was very important that I have a clean driving record as the mother had a dui. Well, I finally met her when I went to see the kids this weekend. She was wearing a brace on her hand and seemed a tad off. When she saw her daughter and I playing in the girls room, she waved and said hi to the child as if it were her niece she isn't close to and not actually her child. The father apologized to me and said that his wife would sleep for most of the afternoon while he was out. I am not sure what is going on. Was there an accident? Is she on pain medications or did something get seriously injured? I am wondering if I have the right to know as the moms odd behavior may have huge effects on the 3 kids. The family, nor the agency said anything.
I don't know legalities or how agencies handle those sort of things, so I can only give my opinion. And it is that no, you don't have the right to know. It is their private business and I'm really surprised that the dad even know you the mom has a DUI. Now, I don't want to jump to any conclusions but my immediate reaction was that the mom is still drinking, or like you said, she's doped up on pain pills. But it might be nothing and you'll just have to ignore mom, because she'll be asleep anyway. Did the kids act abnormally in any way? Like mentioning they miss mom? If so, then you might want to casually talk to the dad, but not ask him what is wrong with his wife. But I think if the kids seem ok, just go with it and ride the summer out.
ReplyDeleteProbably you don't have the "right" to know, legally or anything, but it would definitely help to know what is going on with the kids! I would ask at the agency first, as they might be able to share information that they know. Otherwise, wait a week or two, and I bet you'll figure it out just by keeping your eyes and ears open! If the family gets comfortable with you, they may just confide in you!
ReplyDeleteMaybe the brace on the mother's hand has something to do with the DUI. Or maybe she has another injury. She probably is on pain killers and a side effect is that they make her sleepy. Hopefully, this is just a temporary thing and she will act more loving to her children once she recovers.
ReplyDeleteI think legally you do not have a right to know, but if I were in your shoes, I would want to know. Like Nicki stated, after they get to know you more and are comfortable..they may confide in you. As a nanny, there are times when I do not know where my bosses are going..esp. if it is a weekend gig. They may state they have an appointment somewhere and I do not know if it is a hair or Dr's appointment. Or a couple may be going out for a date and they only tell me when they will return, not where they will be at. I think in this day and age with cell phones, people don't feel the need to disclose where they will be at as long as they are reachable.
Ok this sounds exactly like a job that I worked, through an agency as well.I was a summer nanny for a family with 3 kids, mom who was a drinker and on pain meds etc. Where are you located OP? I live in Seattle... I'm sure we are talking about two different families but I just thought I'd check! LOL
ReplyDeleteYou absolutely do not have a "right" to know. You may want to know and it is possible that knowing the full situation may help you address the kids questions but you do not "need" to know or have a "right" to know.
ReplyDeleteIf you feel that the kids are at risk or are being abused or neglected then you should say something but it sounds like the dad is on top of things and that by hiring you they are ensuring that the kids are being cared for while the dad is out (if the mom is impaired).
Of course you don't have the right to know. You are their employee.
ReplyDeleteThe only right you have is to leave if you get a weird vibe or are not comfortable with the position.
Your right to know is not the trump card here, the family's right to privacy is the issue.
ReplyDeleteIf you are concerned, ask the agency, and then decide from that point if you want to work for this family based on the info you have.