Hello ISYN readers...
I am a professional nanny who worked with a family part time for about a year. They have a little toddler daughter, a very sweet, docile child. I ended up leaving because they were not honoring what they had contracted to do (canceling days without payment)..I have not had any contact with this family nor do I wish to. However...
I see the new nanny all the time with the little girl and she is awful. Texting, never plays with the child, etc..an example of the crappy nannies this site was made for. Then a librarian and a play place owner both approached me to voice their concern-that this nanny is harsh, inappropriate, just nasty. I have observed all this since about March. Then last week I ran into her and the little girl walking. I was applying sunscreen to my charges and she asked to borrow it..I watched her spray sunscreen directly onto this chilkd's face, then use a wipe to wipe her eyes (which made it worse)..when I told her the wipes were stingy she dumped some water on a pair of pants that were in the stroller, and told the child to hold them on hour face. It was just so obvious that she could have cared less and she was not nice or gentle in the least. It was just so careless and it made me very uneasy.
I don't want to have contact with the family but I feel like they should know..I have never been comfortable with how she acts to the child, was more uneasy when the librarian and play place owner approached me, and the sunscreen thing is the icing on the cake. Is there any way I could contact them anonymously? Or does anyone have an idea?
If u left on good terms... consider talking to the parents. Have the librarian and the play place owner back your story... If she is nasty outside the house; I fear to think what could be happening on inside the house. Talk to the parents.. Child's life maybe on the line...
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I left a part time position for the same reason and the terms were not good...the father took offense to my leaving. BUT if I were in your position and saw another nanny caring for the children in such a neglectful, harsh manner, I would probably still suck it up and call the parents. I feel like if I personally knew the parent of any child with a terrible nanny, it would be my duty as a childcare worker and a lover of children to do something. Hopefully, the parents will appreciate your honesty and will make a change immediately.
ReplyDeleteWell, I think you have at the least a moral responsibility to contact the parents, regardless of how nasty your parting was with them.
ReplyDeleteYou could also ask the other 2 people who have approached you to write calm, detailed and specific letters to the parents and include their contact information. Then you could meet with the parents, detail your concerns, and give them the letters from 2 other witnesses.
If they are inclined to ignore you, they might pay attention to people who aren't involved in your employer/employee issues.
Worst case, since you, as a childcare provider, are a mandated reporter, you can call DFCS on the nanny and tell them where she works and when the parents are home. I am fairly sure you can do this annonymously.
Good luck!
Those spray sunscreens are awful. I usually spray it on my hand and put it on the child. Last summer I taught my school agers to make an "8" on their face-"two threes" on each side.
ReplyDeleteThis nanny needs to have sunscreen sprayed in her face and then a baby wipe placed on it. She obviously has no business being a nanny.
OP: Would you happen to know if they found the nanny through an agency? I would maybe call the agency and let them know what is going on. I would also ask the people who have seen this nanny in action to have them write letters to the family, in addition to contacting the family yourself if you feel comfortable doing so. I would also contact CPS. If you do leave your name, they will not reveal this information to the family.
The other thing you could do is videotape this nanny and e-mail the parents. If you know something is going on, I wouldn't care what the nanny thought about being filmed.
Let us know what happens....
To avoid the appearance of a disgruntled ex-employee causing your observations to be dismissed, I would provide the librarian with the parents' names and contact information.
ReplyDeletei agree with observer - give the parents info to the 2 witnesses - if they seem reluctant to get involved then it's up to you to be proactive - for the child
ReplyDeletelet us know what happens
Observer got it in a nutshell: you will appear as nothing more than a disgruntled employee if you contact the parents directly. At the very least they will think you're a stalker. Also, it does not sound to me as if you left on good terms: how can it be good terms if you left because of something these parents did to screw up? (Not honoring the contract: please, these people are a-holes.)
ReplyDeleteTell the librarian the parents' names and numbers. Leave it at that. And avoid this nanny before it starts to border on obsession.
Maybe I'm being naive but, based on the info OP gave us, I don't see why she would just come off as a disgruntled employee if she tipped off the parents. She wasn't fired and she worked for these people for a full year. They obviously trusted her with their child so I would hope they would take an accusation of abuse from her seriously. I "left" (ok, was forced to leave) my job last year for similar reasons and do not wish to have contact with the parents because they are jerks. But you better believe if I see someone mistreating that beautiful boy, I will be sending the parents an email and then I'd probably follow up with a phone call. I have no doubt in my mind they would at least listen to me with an open mind because they trusted me. OP, use your best judgment.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice. This nanny was not through an agency...Things didnt end badly and in fact, the mom has asked me a few times to babysit...it was just so stressful there and I really don't want to get sucked back in to their drama. They have had 9 nannies not to mention a million temps...very challenging to work with this family. I am actually the only nanny they didn't fire.
ReplyDeleteI am going to send the mom a text that I had seen the nanny and child out and just wanted to talk to her about some concerns. I will update you on what happens.