CL-WTF

... WHAT?!

1) Live in Nanny Wanted (California)
Live in Nanny wanted light house cleaning, small amount of child care needed No, pot smoking mothers even with a "medical card" No drug growing people I do not agree with drug use at all, I feel very stronglt against it. Must enjoy kids and actually care for kids best interest Must be willing to drive children to sports Must not be overweight and keep yourself well kept Must not steel anything including toilet paper, or any other household belongings, "not trustworthy" Must be capable of making sure kids do home work and take it to school. If you have a husband or boyfriend please do not even think of bringing them into kids life if they do or sell drugs, for medical use or not Must be capable of minding your own buisness..
URL: http://fresno.craigslist.org/kid/2271855698.html
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2) In need of childcare in my home (Florida)
Hello my name is ashley and I have two children. One is a newborn and the other is two and a half. Im looking for someone with experience with infants to help my b/f look after the kids while im at work. Can start as soon as today at 3:30. I can give you thirty dollars. I thought I had someone but it doesnt seem she has much experience with new borns. It would be from 3:30 to around 11 im a server. My little one doesnt seem to like men for some reason and I dont want to leave her with my bf if shes going to cry the whole time. Thanks.
URL: http://raleigh.craigslist.org/kid/2224307977.html
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3) I don't work but I can babysit for some small cash (North Carolina)
i just moved in with a roommate, because im fighting with my dad at home and i had to move from my new place. he let me move in without any money yet. im a 25 yr old female and i just dont have much employment experience but im going to need some money being away from home. id like to work just in time before its hot weather. if u need a babysitter i have a cell phone number. i also have a 6 yr old son that lives w/ his dad. i never sleep and im available anytime at home. 3833 springtime dr apex. i can work out a deal w/ u on the cost. like 7 a hour. kids that are like 3- and up. no diapers bc thats just weird. but my roommate is a older guy that goes to church and hes never here hes always working.
URL: http://raleigh.craigslist.org/kid/2224307977.html _______________________________________

4) Over Night Care Needed, Nanny (North Carolina)
I am a mother of of three girls and one son, I travel from time to time and need someone to care for my care for at least three to a week my son is a teenager and care for himslef. Looking for a nanny to do over night care and that has ref. and a care/van please send ur resume to: ****** PAY IS 7.00HR.
URL: http://raleigh.craigslist.org/kid/2230813754.html
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5) Sitter needed with newborn experience (Chicago)
Hello, I am looking for someone to be at my at my house in the morning around 6am till noon. I have a newborn boy and a 2 year old girl. I am looking to pay $30 a day and will only need someone for 3 days a week. Must be willing to submit to a background check.
URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/kid/2225958141.html
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6) Nanny and Personal Assistant needed ASAP (Ohio)
I am looking for a live in nanny and personal assistant. The bulk of the nanny duties would not start until school is out. I am single father and my daughter is 10 years old. I am 32 years old and stay very active, work out daily, and work professional in sales/marketing. My daughter is also involved in soccer, softball and loves to be outdoors. I am looking for someone with an outgoing personality and is athletic and stays in shape. I would also need you to occasionally travel with me on business. If you are interested please email why you would be good for this and send photos if you have them. I am looking for someone yesterday so please be available to start soon. Thanks. Would like to interview tomorrow or Weds any potential candidates. Gym membership also included.
URL: http://columbus.craigslist.org/edu/2305014945.html
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7) Nanny - Babysitting (Florida)
Hi: This posting is for a Nanny/ Babysitter in the Seven Oaks/ Wesley Chapel area. I am a single mom who works very long hours and I am looking for someone who can:

1) Pick up my daughter in the mornings (Wed and some Thurs), get her ready for the day, take her over to medical appointments in New Tampa and then to school on those days. (7:30-11 am ish) - must have a license and reliable transportation and/ or clean driving record & own insurance.
2) Work occasionally a week-night or two when I need to go out after work (6-9 or 6-10).
3) 1-2 times per month, handle "overnights" at home with my daughter. I travel for work sometimes 2-4 days. I need someone who can help get her ready in the morning, put her on the bus or take her to her appointments, in the evening pick her up, make her dinner, help her with assignments or play, bathtime, bedtime, be there overnight or until I can get home from the aiport on the final night of a trip. I have a guest room.
4) Occasionally cover a weekend day plus overnight (like a Saturday morning through late Saturday night or Sunday morning for instance) when I have obligations.
Daughter is 7. Want someone who will read with her, help her with homework, play with her, converse with her... not park her in front of the television.

Must be able to prepare dinner for her, must be of driving age.
Must be reliable, trustworthy, have good references, be a non-smoker or able to non-smoke around my kid/home, this is a minimum of 1 year of sitting, possibly longer-term.
I have a dog and two cats, so I need someone also animal-friendly and animal-responsible.
I would need to see a license, registration (if your vehicle), insurance, references for check, and able to pass a background check.

They pay is hourly on a 1099 reporting basis, not an employee. Hourly - overnights are calculated by sitting time until her bed time and from her wakeup time.
Timeclock is used for time in and time out. Pay is weekly.
Minimum Wage - $10/ hour depending on references, experience.
URL: http://tampa.craigslist.org/psc/kid/2297755711.html
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8) Overnight Daycare Needed (Wisconsin)
I am in need of overnight childcare for a 16 month old girl. it would be 3 nights a week and every other weekend from 7pm to 730am thehours I work. I prefer in my home and would consider if someone is looking for an apartment to have childcare instead of rent. you would have your own bed and bath and only thing i would ask would be to pay half the electric....rent is 885 and my electric bill is about 150 a month. I would also consider watching your child as a trade off to break even. I am a single mom so I cannot afford much. prior to my sitter just quitting on me I paid her 20 a night and also provided transportation for her as needed. please email if interested or what you would charge a night. aunteemissa@****
URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/kid/2267869642.html
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9) Dad's Helper/Friend - REAL AD! (North Carolina)
OK so i have no clue what the problem is but this is a legit ad. The weather in raleigh was a bit windy today feb 25th 2011,Ok, Im a stay at home father in my late 20's i have 3 children, 12-4-2 2 boys one girl.Im in search of a level headed down to earth open minded female to help me with the kids during the day as well as other household chores etc.I do get bored at home and im still a fairly young man so I am a flirt, ill admit it up front :)~I have had some REALLY REALLY and i use caps for that because i mean REALLY strange people show up to my house to interview, (looks arent a part of the interview but id rather not hire a marilyn manson look alike-i think i should be able to make that choice)so with your response to let me know you are real please place (ready to help) as the subject line, include anything you would like me to know about you, experience with kids and a photo. :)During down time there are lots of things to do from playing pool, darts, tanning bed if you are into that, etc... Please no games, and no stuck up people. Yes this is a job, but im looking for someone laid back, go with the flow kinda soul. No drama please. more questions can be answered via email :)if u dont include all information requested and the correct subject line i will not respond *Compensation: 10.00 hr
URL: http://raleigh.craigslist.org/dmg/2234830349.html

Same Guy... Different Ad:

10) Help out a stay at home Dad (North Carolina)
THIS IS A REAL AD. STOP DELETING. SHEESH

looking for young lady to help around the house. ie; help with kids, housework, laundry etc. must be open minded and down to earth
When replying i ask for you to tell me about yourself and experience as well as for a photo (i ask for a photo bc it is my right and i have had some rather odd individuals show up to my house, no looks are not everything but i prefer not to hire marilyn manson look a likes) Please place ready to help in the subject line so I know that you are real and not a bot.

some perks are:
free tanning if you are into that (tanning bed on site or good old summer sun if you like when that time rolls around)
game room: pool table darts etc...
we like to watch alot of movies
outings to park etc
baseball games etc
please be very open minded female.

kids ages 2-4-12
Im in my late 20's
Nice neighborhood.
URL: http://raleigh.craigslist.org/dmg/2230521129.html
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11) Need someone to watch my kids tonight (North Carolina)
I need a sitter at my home tonight to watch my kids. I have a 3yr old son and 3month old daughter. I would also like to use your services for future date nights. We'd like to get out atleast once a week. I know gas is astronomical these days for everyone so I guarantee 4hrs whether were gone an hour or the entire 4. I will pay $10 an hour. If your available, please give me a call at 919-522-****. I'd need you by 7:30pm tonight and come with atleast 2 references. NO MEN. Thanks
URL: http://raleigh.craigslist.org/kid/2235991361.html

Angry Response From CL Reader:

12) RE: Need someone to watch my kids tonight (North Carolina)
This is one of the worst ads I have ever read and it makes me sick to my stomach that one would post an ad the day of wanting to go out and leaving their kids to complete strangers. This is how kids get abused, killed, sexually assaulted and much worse. References could come from any one and of course they are only going to bring the best references. I could go on but I won't. I feel EXTREMELY sorry and worried for your children and if I knew who you were I would call CPS. Your putting your children in great harm and it's sad that these innocent children who have no say at all are involved. I have done daycare for years and I find that parents who are so willing to just leave their kids with me minutes of meeting me have other concerns then their children and are not even worthy enough to have them. That's why I don't take them. If you went out I hope you had a good time and I sure hope you examine your children really good for any marks, etc... Just a reminder: 3 year old and 3 month olds can't speak well enough to tell you they are victim. There are also lots of woman pedophiles as well. SHAME ON YOU! Your poor children.
URL: http://raleigh.craigslist.org/kid/2236636709.html
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... HOW MUCH?!

13) Looking for Nanny/Babysitter (Florida)
Looking for a nanny/babysitter to come to my home to care for my 3 children starting asap. Ages are 11, 8, and 3 and the two older ones will be in school most days. The summer will be 1 child and possibly 2 if my step son (6 yrs old) comes to visit until school starts again. Looking for M-F 6:30 a.m. until 5:30-6 p.m. You will need a valid drivers license due to my son starting pre-school in the fall. You must also be willing to a background check and references will also be checked. At this time, pay will be $150-$175 a week. Would also like occasional weekends; however, time will be paid on an hourly basis. I'm not looking for someone to clean my house or do my laundry, only to clean up after yourself and take care of my children. We currently have no pets. Please send me your phone number and a little about yourself. I will be conducting interviews asap. Thank you for your interest.
URL: http://tampa.craigslist.org/hil/kid/2296001760.html
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14) Nanny needed ASAP (unknown)
We are looking for an honest, loyal, smoke/drug-free, outgoing nanny who loves children. Spanish speaking is a HUGE plus! Our 20 month old boy has had a nanny all is life with an amazing girl from Spain. She has been a blessing to our family, and hate that she have to leave us. We hope that we can find someone like her to replace her.

The hours are Tues-Saturday from 9-6. We can afford to pay 165.00 per week plus food, gas and cell phone.

Must be able to pass a drug and background test. References is a MUST.

Please respond back to this email, or leave a message at 612-281-**** with your name, number and a brief summary why you would be a great canidate for this position. Interviews are ASAP!

Thanks for your time. We look forward to hearing back from you. Regards, Berg's family.
URL: unknown
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15) Live in Nanny Needed (Las Vegas)
I am a single professional mother of two. I'm seeking a fun, energetic, humorous individual (female) as a live in nanny.

Services needed are occasional laundry, cooking, shopping, cleaning, tutoring. Services needed all the time include: being home when my children go to school and come home from school, making sure they do their homework and chores, transportation to and from activities as needed, and most of all overnight care when I travel every-other week. I travel every other week usually on Mon & Tues to Vegas for work. Additionally I have 4 small dogs that require attention.

A little bit about myself and my children. I am a very outspoken woman who doesn't tolerate much. I am occasionally foul mouthed and sassy . . . ok, . . . I do have a foul mouth all the time! If you can't handle my type A personality, please don't bother to contact me. Having said that, I too have a great sense of humor as do my children. Were not the typical poster family. I don't preach religion in my house or politics for that matter and have no intention of diluting my children's minds with such nonsense, again if your a hard core fan of any type of religion, or find yourself discussing politics, you need not apply.

I am NOT looking for someone to discipline my children, I am looking for someone to live in my 3000 sq ft (4 bed, 3 full bath) home on a permanent basis to help me out because I'm losing my mind. I am not looking for someone to take my place, but I do need help filling in the gaps! I live in a great neighborhood, with plenty of things to do that surround my house. Its a quiet neighborhood, except for me occasionally rockin~ out having a beer while I'm cleaning or doing yard work. I will not tolerate drugs in my house, so if your the occasional user, again don't bother contacting me.

Salary: If your expecting to make a @#$* load of money off of me its not gonna happen, your getting free room and board in a kick *@$! house and will be living with a pretty cool woman and her two kids, having said that, you will be paid $500.00 per month in addition to your free room and board.

Basically you SHOULD contact me if you: don't preach religion, don't discuss politics, have a great sense of humor, are NOT a drug user, ARE 100% reliable (references and background check will be preformed), really enjoy being around kids and are not just reading this in hopes of landing a free pad.

P.S. (FYI) I can't handle pretentious women, so if your one, again you need not apply.

On that note! I truly look forward to meeting and discussing this opportunity with you in person. If you meet all of the conditions listed above without question, PLEASE contact me! (via email) Respectfully, Losing Her Mind.
URL: http://reno.craigslist.org/kid/2279138447.html
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16) Looking for an apartment? I am looking for a live in Nanny! (Illinois)
I have 2 children 4.5 and 2.5 years old Both of our kids are potty trained and nap in the afternoon. I am looking for a mother or woman who has childcare experience, can pass a background check, and has a reliable car with insurance to take care of my children and take my son to school. We have a 3 bedroom house and a full basement and we would be willing to hire someone who is looking for a place to live in exchange for FREE room and BOARD and PAID (discounted rates, since you will be living and eating here for free) daycare and light cleaning services. It is NOT necessary that you live here. If you have a children of your own they are welcome here as well. My son will be attending Madison Elementary (district #200) next fall and My daughter will be in some school program in the fall as well. If your child, or children are the same ages as ours we can sing them up for the same programs and we would be happy to pay for your kids as well as mine to attend. We would also pay for any extra circular activities that we agree upon for the kids.

We are in need of childcare Monday thru Friday and possibly some Saturdays mostly in the summer months only. Our work schedule is somewhat flexible if you would have to get a weekend job and we would be happy to care for your children for free on the weekends. We are thinking that the weekly rate Monday thru Friday would be approximately $200+ a week.(negotiable) If we work longer hours you would definitely make more money! We are looking to find an agreement and a family friend.....We are a reasonable family, that believes if you help us we will help and pay you accordingly to your effort!!!! .If this sounds like it might be a fit for you shoot me a email or give me a call #608-469-**** Thank you Kelly....
URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/kid/2261776543.html
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17) Babysitter for 8mo baby (Seattle)
I am a single parent, a Filipina, looking for a full time babysitter for my 8 mos. old baby boy.

You must be able to :
-Feed the baby properly.
-Maintain good hygiene of the baby
-Clean and prepare all things that the baby use
-Look after safety of baby
-Must be able to do light housekeeping and cooking

Working days are 7 days a week.

This is a stay in job, food included.

You will have your own bedroom and restroom.

There is no day off but you can have 2 overnight offs in a week meaning you can go home at 7pm and come back at 7am the following day.

Compensation is: $1,000/month

Leave me a message at 206 769 ****
URL: http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/lab/2279965825.html
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18) Looking for back-up sitter (North Carolina)
Hi I am a 34 year old single mother of 2 children. One of them is 20 months old and I need child care for him. I work very long hours 3-4 days a week. I need someone that can watch him from 715am to 9pm most nights, including Saturdays and Sundays. I can drop him off at your home or if you live near me you can come to mine. Right now he is currently in a home daycare. So I am really looking for someone to be a "back up" sitter when his current sitter can't watch him. I am looking for sitters in the Apex, Cary, Morrisville, or near the Brier Creek area in Raleigh. I can only pay 35.00 per day. I will provide him with his meals and his diapers/pull ups and wipes. He is currently working on potty training so I would like someone who could help with that. Please only reply if you can handle these long hours. This is VERY important. I cannot change my schedule around alot. I need someone that can work with my schedule. Thanks for your time. Please email me more if you want to discuss. Thanks.
URL: http://raleigh.craigslist.org/kid/2264349262.html
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19) Looking for a babysitter needed this month! (California)
Hello my name's Lily and this month on March 14-18 & March 21-23 I'm in need of a babysitter for a 18 month old.

Full Time Pay out is $100 for those 8 days.
My son is visiting his father in San Jose and I'm currently living in OC.
His father works from 7:30 am til 5 pm.
So likely be dropping my son off around 7 in the morning at your place.
If anyone lives around Senter and Capitol that's great.
Like to be around in the area: From Marina Food Market, Seven Trees, Syvandale Middle School, Andrew Hill HS, Ramblewood, Kelley Park, and Oak Hill.

Must live between from west to east Monteraey Hwy and McLaughin Ave area and North to South Phelan Ave and End of Senter road area.

My son is easy going personality. Has a normal routine. 10 am 4 oz of milk and lil meal, 12 pm 4 oz of milk another meal or snacks, between 1-3 pm he has his nap time and when he wakes up another snack and 4 oz of milk or water. He likes to laugh and interact with you. All you will be doing is change his diapers 4 times. Play with him he does like technology stuff. You can take him out with permission. We will have his belongings available to you when prior to dropping him off.

Requirements:
1. Give license/I.D. to do background check
2. Be a fun loving person.
3. If you have kids that's great if not that's alright.
4. No cats my son is allergic to them.
5. Between the ages of 17 (if you graduated) and 35.

Please contact me for anymore info and if you do meet some of the requirements above and tell me a bit about yourself.
Email to this post or txt me @ 502-275-****
and his father 408-679-****.
Thanks and have a great day.
URL: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/kid/2241607065.html
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20) Childcare Needed (California)
Hello! I am a new mother planning on returning to work this June. My son is 6 months old(9 months in June) and needs care 8am-3pm mon-fri. He can be cared for at our home in capitola or yours depending on the location. He is a very calm easy baby to care for. Enjoys fresh air and walks to the beach.

We can only afford 125$ a week. I know it is not top pay for a nanny... Mabe a stay home mom who is looking to make a little side cash well looking after her own? Perhaps a student or someone who has experience with infants? Mabe someone who is already babysitting and would like to take on another infant. If you are interested and think you will be a good match, email me with some information about yourself and phone number. Thank you for your interest!
URL: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/scz/kid/2244328093.html

Angry Response From CL Readers:

21) RE: Childcare Needed (California)
What on earth is up with all of these parents who want nannies at daycare prices?
A nanny is a luxury. She makes life easy.
Unfortunately not many of us are in a position to have someone show up at our doorstep in the mornings to take over making life easy...hence...daycares.
Dear parent going back to work, please get up at 6, like the rest of us, and feed ,bath & dress your child...put him/her in their car seat and drive to the daycare of your choice.
I happen to know that Capitola & Santa Cruz both have several wonderful daycares who accept infants for just about $25-30.00 dollars more a week than you are offering a nanny.
You are offering $3.57 cents an hr. That is just an insult!
Most daycares run between $4-7 dollars an hr depending on the childs age.
URL: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/scz/kid/2244800793.html

22) RE: Childcare Needed (California)
Attention! Parents! If you need childcare for your little one it doesn't matter how "easy going" , "low maintenance" or "well-behaved" your child is that determines how much you pay. You need to offer AT LEAST minuimum wage to even make this job desirable to the least qualified. This wage you are offering literally works out to a WHOPPING $3.57 and hour! Who would waste their time with this? An experienced Nanny gets anywhere from $10.00 (on the low end)-$20.00 an hour. If you can't afford this maybe you should look for an in-home daycare that has numerous other snotty nosed kids running around.And who will give your child a tenth of the attention that an in-home nanny could provide. TIP: Watsonville seems to have a lot of these really, really cheap daycares....hmmm wonder why?This really is just ridiculous...
URL: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/scz/kid/2244860353.html

23) RE: Childcare Needed (California)
If you read the post she isn't asking for just an "experienced (overpaid) nanny" she is asking for someone to care for her child and giving that person the flexibility of making money while having their own children around. Why would you attack her for trying to find quality care for her baby? Some people simply cannot afford the prices that are being demanded by childcare providers. Besides, have you taken a look at the economy lately? People are getting pay cuts all over the place what makes you feel like a nanny is exempt from these times? Obviously, your demands are the reason you are still looking for a job. Cut her some slack...she is just trying to survive like you and I.
URL: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/scz/kid/2244953950.html

24) RE: Childcare Needed (California)
To the person who posted the sympathetic post for the mommy looking for ft childcare for $3.57 p/HR.... its not about cutting someone slack..its about following the laws!!!! To hire a domestic staff(nanny or Full time childcare provider,babysitter) taxes must be claimed! Period end of story. If you advocate this woman hiring someone and not paying taxes on her wages...you are advocating her breaking the law!!

Do you really think anyone, even a nice SAHM who is kind enough to offer her time is going to claim taxes on $125.00 per week??? A weekend baby sitter does not usually claim taxes....that is actually legal...but a FT employee MUST pay taxes....even at 125 a week she will still be making over $5000 income wich must be leaglly taxed!! She needs to find a licensed daycare provider!! End of story!
URL: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/scz/kid/2245177589.html
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Special thanks to the following Contributors: megrose123, Devora1941, NC, MissDee, Noel, JenniferB., BLB, NannyCaroline, BettySpaghetti, Rebeccaandallthatitentails and NoeNanny... we really appreciate all of your help! Since the Blog has gotten so busy what would be best is that whenever I have enough Ads to run CL-WTF, that is when I will put it up. I will try my best to still run it once a week but it just won't be on a specific day. Sorry to those that have been waiting for this Feature, we do want to keep it going, so if you have any Ads you want to send in: Please use MEEBO or e-mail Isawyournanny@aol.com. Don't forget to include the BODY of the Ad (in case it gets deleted!) or the LINKS. Thank you!