Hi! my mom works as a housekeeper and for some time now she has felt that the babysitter was a bit mean on how she treated the kids, then one day the babysitter grab one of the twins really hard by the arm my mom didn't say anything bc the boy like other children does misbehave but today she saw the babysitter spanking the child and smacking his hand 5 times really hard and the child sure was upset. My mom and I have the same feeling that it is only going to get worse but don't know how to tell the parents.
Tuesday
Housekeeper is Witnessing Babysitter being Abusive
Received Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Hi! my mom works as a housekeeper and for some time now she has felt that the babysitter was a bit mean on how she treated the kids, then one day the babysitter grab one of the twins really hard by the arm my mom didn't say anything bc the boy like other children does misbehave but today she saw the babysitter spanking the child and smacking his hand 5 times really hard and the child sure was upset. My mom and I have the same feeling that it is only going to get worse but don't know how to tell the parents.
Hi! my mom works as a housekeeper and for some time now she has felt that the babysitter was a bit mean on how she treated the kids, then one day the babysitter grab one of the twins really hard by the arm my mom didn't say anything bc the boy like other children does misbehave but today she saw the babysitter spanking the child and smacking his hand 5 times really hard and the child sure was upset. My mom and I have the same feeling that it is only going to get worse but don't know how to tell the parents.
She NEEDS to tell them! I mean, maybe the nanny has been told to spank them but you don't know that and the parents NEED to know! What would happen if the nanny did something really bad and one of the children were seriously injured or killed? It isn't even an option, they need to be told!!
ReplyDeleteYou and your mom need to tell the parents ASAP. If the nanny has permission to spank, then so be it. But I have a hunch that she is not allowed to and that the abuse may escalate.
ReplyDeleteDo it for the children. They are young, naive and need an advocate in their favor.
Please tell us that you did something about this.
TELL THEM!! If u don't- it will get worse and the child may get seriously injured. Makes my stomach hurt- who could ever hurt a child.
ReplyDeleteShe needs to speak up and tell them what she saw.
ReplyDeleteI've worked as a nanny for two different families and they have both employed housekeepers. Both housekeepers have mentioned to my bosses how I treat the kids. Of course it was all positive, but if they caught me doing something bad then they have every right to tell my boss.
I will say that your mom needs to make sure she really saw what she did before saying anything. Now it does seem cut and dry, can't really put a spin on hitting a child's hand and spanking them but if there is any doubt in her mind at what really happened then she needs to be careful what she says because she could ultimately make the nanny lose her job.
well first she needs to find out if the parents allow her to discipline by spanking. I am one who thinks spanking is ok as long as it's not on the face and doesn't leave a mark. It may be the way the parents do it.
ReplyDeleteShe needs to trust her instinct if she feels the parents would have never allowed this behavior then she needs to tell them. It all depends on what her gut is telling her to do.
Anytime an adult witnesses a behavior done to a child that makes them feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable I think they should speak up and let the parents know. Often times children can't speak for themselves (whether it's because they are too young, or too scared) and as adults we can give them a voice. If I were your mom I would politely tell the child's parents what I had witnessed (the babysitter grabbing/yanking arms, spanking rather roughly etc) and just say something to the effect of: "I witnessed the babysitter doing X, Y and Z and just wanted to bring it up to you in order to error on the side of caution, as your little boy seemed quite upset, and I wanted to ensure these styles of discipline were okay with you." Even if they have okayed the discipline I'm sure they will be very pleased that your mom cared enough to say something. My gut tells me they probably won't be okay with what this nanny is doing, as she seems to be losing control a little bit and acting out in anger (from what you (OP) said it sounds as though her discipline has been escalating more and more each time and she's kind of losing her cool - if that's the case your mom should mention that as well). Please don't have regrets later, too many children are killed or injured each day because an adult was too afraid to speak up.
ReplyDeleteI would try to mention it indirectly, almost casually. For example, "Poor Little Johnny. He's usually so happy, but yesterday he had a hard day. He threw his plate on the floor and Susie Babysitter spanked him. He cried so much." Probably the parent will ask for more details and then you will not feel like you are just "tattling." You could also observe the child misbehaving in front of the parents and then say, "When he does that for Susie, she hits his hand." If you can't find a good way to work it in casually, though, you're just gonna have to say it outright, though.
ReplyDeleteIt's very rare that a family like this will want the nanny to use corporal punishment, so I think it's safe to say the parents will want to know.
TELL THEM. Say it kindly, and give the facts. Let the parents decide how to handle it...... I would be devastated if my housekeeper didn't tell me!
ReplyDeletePhoenix,
ReplyDeleteWhy does it not surprise me that you agree with hitting as long as it "doesnt leave a mark" ????? LOL. Typical. So happy you cannot have biological children.
Dont be soppy wet or sideways about this. Ask the parents point blank if they have authorized spanking of their children by the nanny. Suger coating this or being evasive may be worse for you in the long run. They may say yes, in which case, you just say sorry just wanted to make sure it was ok. If they say no report the nanny.
ReplyDeleteI would bet my next mortgage payment that the parents are not "okay" with their child being hit. Who would be??
ReplyDeleteChild abuse is illegal. Tell them.
ReplyDelete