Trial by Fire- Run like the wind...

Nanny Trials are a popular way for both parties to get a sense for duties and expectations.

So, my trial was to start yesterday at 9:30am. No word on when it was supposed to end. Well, traffic was AWFUL, and I ended up ten minutes late. I hate to be late, and am a bit paranoid about it, so I'm freaking out about this. I didn't have a number to call and tell them, so the first thing out of my mouth when I got there was an apology and the Mom said she didn't even notice I was late. Hm... o.k. Maybe not everyone's as anal-retentive punctual as me.

When I came in for the interview before, I only saw the living room, and this house is BIIIIGGGGG. Mom says she'll show me around the house, but then just wanders off, telling her 3-year-old son, Kid 1, to show me around. Um.. yeah, the kid took me up to his bedroom, his brother's bedroom and stopped in the playroom. Pretty much what you'd expect from a 3-year-old. So Kid 1 and I have fun doing puzzles and I read a few books to him. He's not bad. We get along pretty well.

While I'm reading him a book, he's laying on his stomach, listening. When I'm done, he stands up, and I see the front of his shorts are wet. I said, "Kid 1, did you pee your pants?" He said no. I ask if he needs new underwear, and he says yes, and starts running into his bedroom and shows me where the undies are. I try and tell him that hey, we all make mistakes, but he really doesn't care that he's wet his pants. So he does it again, about 45 minutes later. Of course, I don't really know the kid, and I'm still waiting for Mom to come upstairs so we can talk, or I can actually get a tour of the house. Nothing.

Around 11:30, Kid 1 starts whining, wanting food. I told him we should wait for Mom to come upstairs (I have no idea when lunch is), but he doesn't listen. He starts running down the stairs, demanding Lunchables. Mom comes out and says, yes just give him a Lunchable. And she walks back into her study. Kid 1 and I walk into the kitchen, and thank goodness he goes and gets his own Lunchable. The kitchen is bigger than my entire apartment. So the boy starts eating the cheese in the Lunchable, and I keep the treat (Skittles) on the counter out of his reach.

I went into Mom's office (she doesn't work, she's a SAHM), apologizing for bothering her, and told her that her son peed through two sets of undies and shorts, and that since I didn't know what to do, I quickly rinsed them out and left them in one of the many bathrooms upstairs. Her answer was, "oh yeah, I guess I should have told you that Kid 1's not doing so well with the potty training. You have to tell him to go every 30 minutes or so. Next time put the laundry in the washer." What washer?! Where?!

So I walk back into the kitchen and Kid 1's asking for his Skittles. I notice he's only eaten the cheese, and left the crackers and turkey. Oh, and drank a juice box. Mom comes in and tells Kid 1 we're going to the park so I can see where it is, but he needs to eat his turkey and crackers. He refuses and claims he has a tummy ache. Mom says to him he can't have Skittles unless he eats the rest of his food. He still refuses, and she doesn't give him the Skittles, but takes them with us.

At this time, I finally ask when this trial would be over, since my husband had to pick me up. I thought this would be over by now, since it was 11:30. She said 5:30. Yowza.

So we walk to the park, which is about three blocks away. The area is all mansions. Mom is very nice, and shows me where the boys' karate class is, one of the boy's schools is, and a bunch of other places the kids take classes. These boys are busy. It takes us about ten minutes to get the park which is a decent one. As soon as we get there, Mom gives Kid 1 his Skittles. So I've seen him have a few pieces of cheese, two juice boxes, and Skittles so far. Awesome.

Mom starts saying goodbye to Kid 1, and then starts to leave. I have to stop her and ask when I'm supposed to bring Kid 1 back. I paid extra attention to the way we walked, because I knew she wouldn't remember to tell me the way back. It's a good thing I asked her, since I had to bring him back in 20 minutes so she could go pick up the middle child.

Kid 1 and I have a good time at the park, although I find it a little worrisome that the park was filled with children his age, and he didn't socialize with anyone. On the way back, it's obvious the kid is pooped.

We make it back, and Mom says Kid 1 can take an hour nap, and that she's running out to get Kid 2, the 4.5 year old. She'd be back in ten minutes. Kid 1 went down for a nap without issue. The kid was exhausted.

It is now 1pm. I take this moment alone in the house as an opportunity to finally get some water. But finding a glass in the humongous kitchen is a hard feat. I start looking around for a granola bar or something I can scarf down before Mom and Kid 2 come back. No dice. I found a glass and chugged some water. Anyway, I was too nervous to eat.

Kid 2 shows up, and he's a nice enough kid. We play a bunch of different games and Mom says she's running out to the grocery store to buy things for rice krispie treats, which apparently I'll be making with the boys. I tell her I've never made them before, but I would try (my family wasn't a big fan of them, and I always preferred to do kitchen fun stuff without the stove). She leaves, and it's time for me to wake Kid 1, who screams and cries for Mommy, but she's gone. I just hold him while he cries, because nothing I do will calm him. He and I play a very imaginative version of chess that involves space aliens.

Mom comes home with groceries and the oldest child, 6-year-old Kid 3. Where Kid 1 and 2 seemed like nice kids, Kid 3 is eye-rolling and a bit obnoxious. Mom says, "since you didn't know you were staying all day, did you not bring any lunch?" I said no. Hell, I thought part of being a nanny was getting to eat at the house. She brought me a turkey sandwich from the store. Nice! It's only 3pm, but there's no way I can eat, since I now have three children wanting me to make rice krispie treats with them. They want to help. All that's left out for me is a box of cereal. I have to find a pot, a pan, butter, marshmallows and measuring cups. Kid 2 at least helped me out by finding mixing spoons and helped count. Kid 1 and 3 just up and left the room. So I just start trying to make them. I muddle through, even though I couldn't find cooking spray and wax paper. Those treats are gonna suck. While I'm trying to cook,Kid 3 keeps grabbing the bag of marshmallows and eating them by the fistful. I finally have to use my stern voice on him to tell him to stop. I get an eye roll, and "geez, fine. I'll just get some more later." All three boys are rude and yelling at me for not doing it faster, and Kid 3 is just plain mean.

Then I take the boys upstairs to do some art, and we have a decent time. But these boys don't clean up after themselves, something they are all old enough to do. Since I'm only on trial, I don't say anything and just clean up after them.

Kid 3 played nice with his brothers, but definitely didn't take to me. Not like the other two. He just up and leaves the room to go and bother his mom. By this point, I don't even care, so I let him go. Thirty seconds later, he comes up telling us it's time to leave for football practice.

So we run downstairs, and I start helping them put on their shoes. Kid 1 can't put his shoes on himself, which I find a bit off-putting, seeing as he's 3 and these were only sandals. As we try to leave, Kid 3 has an almost meltdown because he thinks we're going to walk to football practice (even though Mom has told him over and over that we were driving). He then starts complaining that he's hungry, but Mom says he had a slice of pizza after school. But apparently, the kid isn't eating his school lunch.

As we're about to leave, Mom tells me I should see if my husband can pick me up at football practice, which is going on from 4-5. I text him immediately, but traffic's still awful, so I knew it would take nearly an hour to get there.

Football practice was awkward. Apparently this was the first practice, since everyone was just meeting for the first time. I just stood off to the side, since I'm not technically their nanny, just one on trial. So while Kid 3 is in practice, I go and play in some haystacks with Kid 1, 2, and another little girl and boy who were little siblings of other boys playing. The kids start jumping off these high haystacks into my arms, which is kind of fun, until my lower back starts to get sore. Also, I'm a little worried about the kids I don't know. The boy is maybe two, and I'm scared he'll try and jump down without my help. Luckily, his mom comes over and apologizes for leaving her son with me, and thanks me for entertaining him.

Kid 1 and 2 go to Mom for a snack, and she gives him rice krispie treats (thank god, not the ones I made). They also have Gatorade. Mom tells me that Kid 1 hates cereal, but to try and get him to eat it. So wouldn't rice krispie treats be a BAD snack? It's not like the things are nutritious. He does, but then, I'm usually pretty good at getting kids to eat their food. Oh yeah, and who doesn't like pure sugar and butter? These kids have had nothing but sugar, even though there's a huge sign in the kitchen that says things like "NO juice except with meals" and "NO snacks after 3:15pm" which was written by their father with the the title of "Project Chunky." I certainly hope he's not referring to his boys as "chunky." They all looked of average height and weight.

Anyway, while the boys eat their snack, I have a little small talk with Mom. She seems nice, and we get along, except for the fact that she just expects me to know things, like what her kids are allergic to (Kid 1's allergic to dogs, cats, eggs, chicken, peanuts, and who knows what else. All things I should have been told BEFORE spending the day with him.)

At 5:15, my husband shows up to take me home. Mom waits until this point to tell me she didn't bring her checkbook, so she'll put a check in the mail. I'm not holding my breath.

I spent a few more days with this family, and it never got better. Just worse. All three kids yell at me ("get me that toy!"), and are horribly disrespectful (after I specifically told them not to throw a ball, they would try and throw it at my face). Am I being too picky? Should I take this position, or run away?

Are you a nanny or mother who wants to share her experience with a nanny trial? 

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