CL-WTF?

Saturday, July 31, 2010

.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) baby sitter needed (Atlanta)
Handsome Dr. ISO female baby sitter for his 3 month baby boy.
Must be between the ages of 21 and 35 with nice shape. I want my son to be around attractive women!! LOL Please send pics with responses. $15 hr
URL: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/dmg/1862103744.html
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2) Housekeeper with a twist (Miami)
Looking for a lady that can be eye candy around the house while cleaning up and working around my home. Very laid back person with an open minded that also willing to have fun. I also have young kids that are off at summer activites but will need overnight babysitting when I go out at night. send info and two current pics. $80 a day.
URL: http://miami.craigslist.org/mdc/dmg/1857502923.html
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3) In need of care tonight in my home (Norfolk)
I am looking for childcare in my home tonight 8-2. I have two children ages 3 and 4. Also must be pet friendly as I have two large dogs. If interested please email me. Thank you! Tina
URL: http://norfolk.craigslist.org/kid/1871447957.html
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4) PT Nanny/Babysitting job (Norfolk)
Looking for a nanny/babysitter for Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Two sweet, smart kids, twins going on three years old. A little light houseword while there napping...some vacuuming and/or laundry...cutting veggies/light meal prep/healthy cock only please...in general keeping the house neat. Additional hours of babysitting on a regular basis. Please email for details and with references if interested.
URL: http://norfolk.craigslist.org/dmg/1873102116.html
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5) RELIABLE SITTER! NO, I DO NOT SIT ON CHILDREN! (Norfolk)
My name is Mickey I'm 15 and am currently looking for a job. I'm great with kids and have babysitted numerous times before, I am a certified babysitter. I can babysit at either your home or mine. I do not have a set price for my services, I will discuss payment with parents depending on how long I will babysit for and how many children I need to watch. You can contact me with my email sableferret95@**** or you can text my cellphone 757-761-****. I am available Monday through Sunday during the summer. Also my mother and I have spare bedrooms if you need weekend babysitting or overnight stays.
URL: http://norfolk.craigslist.org/kid/1870772257.html
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6) babysitter tomorrow night (Norfolk)
I need a babysitter tomorrow night from about 9:30 till 1:30 ill pay 6 an hour if you could come here that be great please email me!!! With information about you.
URL: http://norfolk.craigslist.org/kid/1870869797.html
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7) MWF mourning nanny (Miami)
I'm currently looking for a job MWF mournings can only work until 12 or 1230 due to another job. I'm also available on weekends. Ive been a nanny for 13 years with a variety of ages and I'm currently working for a family now. But since the baby will be in school in the mourning I'm looking for another family that needs help.
URL: http://miami.craigslist.org/brw/kid/1872017727.html
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8) Live-in Nanny needed ASAP (Atlanta)
Am looking for a loving caring fun smart mature minded nanny with own reliable car asap for my 3 children, position will start 8/16/2010 which will start as a temporary and could strongly lead to permanent with the right person who takes really good care of my kids for they are my life. I will need 2 recent work related references with DMV Records and Background Check as well if you are interesting, please send me a little detail about yourself along with 2 references and resume to the above email and i will get back to you asap. Now let me tell you a little about this position. for the right person can work my job and still work another job or go to school from 9am-5pm elsewhere if want. for my require time for care is only from 7pm-7am monday thru friday and few hours sat/sun but the night is a must when i am not around. I need someone who can do laundry, housekeeping (my house is clean)and meal preparation (dinner&breakfast)for my kids only, run few errands while live-in at nights please serious inquiries only and will pay $.Thank You for your time.
URL: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/dmg/1867968016.html
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9) WANTED: PT child care 3hr per day, 2-3 days per week (D.C.)
We're looking for someone to watch our seven week old daughter two to three days a week for a few hours each day in our home. She eats, sleeps, and poops. Other than that, she's pretty low-maintenance. Time of day for part-time care is flexible, but must be within regular business hours.
URL: http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/kid/1872394127.html
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10) night out care (Norfolk)
i am offering moms night out this week to anyone wanting to go out this weekend and have some fun while knowing that your children are safe. I am a 2 yeas old stay at home mom. There will be planed activities a healthy home cooked meal and lots of love given. Over nights are also
welcome
URL: http://norfolk.craigslist.org/kid/1869674454.html
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11) Childcare GURU (N.C.)
Hello. My name is Morgan. I am 14/years/old and an Honor Roll student. I am seeking a job where I can share my childcare experience and skills. I have experience in both babysitting and tutoring young children, and personal experience caring for my younger sister. Children warm up to me immediately and we bond easily. I am healthy, high energy, creative, dependable, trustworthy, accountable and hard working. I am CPR registered and can offer excellent references. My fee is $6/hour. I look forward to hearing from you !! Call me @ 919.326.****.
URL: http://raleigh.craigslist.org/kid/1870080037.html
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12) Babysitter available for boys (New York)
Babysitter available for boys. I am going into my junior year of college and am home for the remainder of the summer. I go back the end of August, so, all of August I am available to help out. If you are interested, and request a resume, let me know. I am great with kids, and I have great references. Why you would want to hire me to watch your boys? Because boys may want a guy babysitter to look after them, someone who is into sports, or games, or just to talk to hang out, and someone they can look up to. Thank you, Dave
URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/kid/1862972423.html
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13) female babysitter/teen/adult english spanish or (Atlanta)
one child
you do nothing but sit and watch tv . simple job just someone here while im working /
nothing to do but be here with the child thats all
no cleaning no cooking no nothing
if you have no transportation or car ill come get you if in reasonable driving distance
im in a upscale gated community loft apartment home newnan,ga
please call 770 873 **** /thanks
facebook com / boduguard.rob contact me also but call first please
im a limousine driver and bodyguard / drive limousine day and nights different hrs and days
plan b-live in nanny english/spanish ok
URL: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/dmg/1865392664.html
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14) Need a babysitter for 7 month old (Madison)
Hi there. We are looking for a sitter to come into our home and watch our 7 mo old. We dont have a lot of money so we cant afford to pay much so if you are looking to make bank this is not the job for you. We need someone to come to our home starting in Sept when our current girl goes back to school. You wouldnt work more than 4 days a week and most days would be 8 to 10 hours but somedays would only be 5 hours. NO weekends or night required. You will have access to the computer, TV and whatever food you want. Make yourself at home just as long as our son is your number one priority. If you would like more information please email and we can set up a time to chat/interview. Thanks!!
URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/kid/1871563967.html
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15) PLEASE READ BEFORE HIRING A NANNY (California)
In the past few years nannies have gotten spoiled rotten by the rich. I have had about 10 nannies since baby was born and even the best of them took the life out of me and my family.
I’m not super clean and tried to be extremely nice give them valuable gifts, treat them like family and they still spit at the hands that feed them!!!
They stole my camera with all the baby pics, always lying , sweeping dirt under the rug, disorganize the house so we can’t find anything , stood me up when I need to go work - lying they were on the way... even hitting the baby because they think some rich lady can pay them more.
The sad thing is when we spoil them the single or working mothers that really need them are compromised the most in society
Why are they charging 10$ hr? I mean even if they speak English. Even if you went to school for 2 yrs for degree, you probably won’t make $10+ after taxes. I can get someone with degrees who teaches kids French for the price they want.
DON’T FORGET, they don’t pay taxes and you can’t write them off your taxes either because we pay them cash. That means you’re actually paying them about $20 an hour.

You do this because they have trained us well. They are united and teach each other tricks so YOU don’t get spoiled even though you paying them and they to show you who is the boss. All the moms are afraid of their nanny!!!
Also they are not afraid because the maid services take them back even after you inform them that they stole or hit a baby.
Parents, lets stand up and unite like them!!!
1. We are their employer and the only way to get them to do their job is treat them like an employee not a friend who is doing you a FAVOR. Interview and show the work in a proffessional strict manner.
2. Don’t pay them more then minimum wage AFTER TAXES, it’s about 5$. Let them know they don’t pat taxes and you can’t write them off your taxes either.
3. Always leave yourself a 1 wk deposit that they lose if they lie to your face and don’t show up!!!! This way they stop playing games and training us.
4. They couldn't make a restaurant manager do the dishes with them why should we? If you end up helping them take it off their salary and tip. They don’t get paid to HELP us they come to do THEIR job, e have enough to do. let them know from the start you are their boss not the opposite
5. If you have too much money to give them use maids with degrees and skills... those are priceless - but please don’t overpay and spoil the under skilled nannies for the single working moms that really need them.
6. Get their prints, pictures and address. If they steal or abuse call the police and post their info and pics to let us know. Be assertive not passive it will only feed the beast.
7. Let the Maid Services know what you will do if they take them back.
8. Put hidden cameras if you can and don’t be intimidated because they are working with your kids. The more we spoil them the worse the abuse will be when they don’t get what they want.
Treat them like you would a bad teacher. They are replaceable and they know it. They only respect when they fear. This will give single and working moms the chance to be financially independent and contribute to society. This shouldn't cost us an arm and a leg.
You are also helping them learn not to spit in the hands that feed them and be professional. With this attitude they will never make it in anything in America or anywhere.
Thanks,
Desperate Mom
URL: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/kid/1865064129.html
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.... HOW MUCH?!

16) Need female 3x a week to help w/children & light housework (California)
Hi,
I am looking for a female babysitter for my two daughters (ages 3 & 5) on Tuesdays & Thursdays from 11:30am-4pm and Wednesdays from 8am-12:45pm. Need someone who is punctual, reliable, patient, good with children, and has reliable transportation. MUST HAVE A CLEAN DRIVING RECORD, NO CRIMINAL BACKGROUND, NOW SMOKING (My brother is in law enforcement and we will be conducting BACKGROUND CHECKS as well as FINGERPRINTING so if you have a questionable record don't bother applying). Must have a legal right to work in the U.S. and speak English. Bilingual (English/Spanish a plus).
Will be responsible for the following:
Tuesdays & Thursdays- pick up my 3 yr. old from preschool in Cypress (Moody & Ball) then pick up my 5 yr. old from school (Moody & La Palma Ave.). Bring girls to my home in Cypress and help tidy up/light housework while they play.
Wednesdays- Drop off my 5 year old at school then take my 3 year old to her Mommy & Me class (Shoemaker & Artesia Blvd.). Pick up my 5 year old from school.
Prefer someone who lives local (Cypress, La Palma, Cerritos) since you will be using your own transportation. Pay is $85 a week cash. Job starts August 24th.
URL: http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/dmg/1869213053.html

* Response from angry CL reader:

17) RE: need female 3x a week to help w/children & light houseclean (California)
I want you to drive my two kids to different locations, and then pick them up at different locations. And with all your extra time left, I want you to do light housework, My pay is a whopping $85.00 a week, meaning, I want you to work slightly over 8 hours, not compensate you for gas and disorganize your whole day, while helping me out. It's very obvious that I do not really care about other's feelings, because the most important thing to me is to let people know my brother is in law inforcement, and if I was really intune with reality, I would understand that all hardworking individuals out there bustin their fannies to make ends meet could give a flyin rip that your brother is a cop. You need a reality check my dear, get your head out of the sand, this is 2010. If you really think someone is a whacko, run a check on them before you hire them, you don't have to tell them you're going to do this, intimidation is for weaklings. I'm always amazed the people with the biggest, scariest, long list of to do's, is the people that are so cheap, they rub a nichel till the buffalo sqeals. You'll get someone for your price, but they'll either be extremely tired and unmotivated because they work too hard, and/or rip you off blind while your back is turned, because they know you are cheap!
URL: http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/dmg/1872768893.html
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18) Part Time Nanny (Seattle)
I am a current college student and we are looking for a nanny during the day starting fall term (September) for our 1.5 and 3 year old. This is a possible live-in position working approx 30 hours a week in return for rent and utilities. We are looking for someone who will play with them, take them to the park or on walks and do educational things with them. We live in the Kent area in a nice neighborhood. This would be a very good job for a student who is interested in free rent in exchange for some hours as a nanny. If this is something you are interested in, please e-mail me and include anything you think might be valuable information to me.
Thank You! Compensation: Free rent & utilities for 30 hours of babysitting.
URL: http://seattle.craigslist.org/skc/dmg/1862949689.html
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19) Nanny Needed ASAP - $200/week (D.C.)
Nanny needed in my home Monday - Friday, I leave the house for work around 8:00 a.m., so ideally I would like for you to arrive between 7:45 - 8:00 a.m. I normally return home at about 5:45 - 6:00 p.m. I have two very active boys, they're twins, 5 yrs old, and they are very very busy happy little boys. I would like for them to go out daily, preferrably to the park, library, or other fun places, and I will pay any costs that occur while out for you and them, including gas money. Must have own car, and driver's license. Please reply via email and I will get back to you as soon as I can, Thanks!
URL: http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/kid/1860588008.html
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20) In search of childcare provider for newborn in my home!! (Atlanta)
Hello,
I am seeking a childcare provider for my daughter, she is 2 months old. I am seeking someone who is responsible, experienced, friendly, dependable, loving childcare provider for my 2 month old in my home! The hours would be 11a-7p Sun-Thurs in my home. Pay is $90 per week (paid weekly). I work from home and will be there with you everyday.
I'm looking for someone to start Monday Aug. 2.
Must have own transportation and be punctual as I start work at 11am. I live in McDonough.
Please only serious inquires!! Thanks and I look forward to speaking with you. Che'
URL: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/sat/dmg/1866836930.html
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21) Live in Haitian Nanny perferred (Atlanta)
If you're good with children and able to be home Monday through Friday 6am-6:00pm, please call us. We are offering a private room and a bathroom plus 100/week just to watch a very well mannered 3 year old. You will not have to cook (unless you want to cook for him or yourself) or clean(except to clean up after him). You will be off from the minute we get home every afternoon and Friday evening through Monday morning at 6am. We perfer a Haitian Nannie who can speak at least some English. You must have references. You must be good with kids. He must like you. We are a fun loving and kind family with big hearts. This would be the perfect job for someone looking for a place to stay while attending night classes. We are near Strayer University and West Central Tech and can even help you learn about different programs to further your education for free. If you are interested please email me, I would like to start interviews this weekend.
URL: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/dmg/1858096594.html
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22) Live in Nanny for cheap rent (Oregon)
My family and I are looking for a female roomate that is looking for lower rent for sitting in as a live in nanny for our 3 year old son. We require a severe background and credit check, and you have to have some experience with children. The room comes with free internet and furnished. Free food. The price of the room with me negotiable but still low. If you are interested in this, please e-mail me with your resume and some rental history also and anything else that might help me.
URL: http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/dmg/1872368505.html
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23) Need a modern day Mary Poppins (California)
The Basics:
Need someone to care for my 3 year old son, in my home. We live at the end of a quiet cul-de-sac in a very good neighborhood in Plumas Lake. My son is a very sweet, very loving & active little boy, who has been "labeled" hyperactive by his physician, we are working through this as much as possible with a low sugar diet and natural supplements. We have tried the traditional daycare option, but it has not worked out. His physician recommended exploring the option of finding a nanny, so here we are! I need someone who is patient and can handle strong-willed children well. My son does best with environments with which is familiar and comfortable, thus being another factor supporting my decision to seek a nanny.
I would require care be provided Monday - Friday from about 7:30 a.m. until I get home from work at 5:15 p.m.. My place of employment is 10 minutes away, so I would be close by if ever needed. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask!
The Rate:
$150 / Week - $175 / Week
URL: not available
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24) Childcare needed in my home (Norfolk)
I would like to have a sitter come to my home to watch my girls when I work, and on call on occasion. I have 2 daughters, ages 4 & 1. My job is only 20 hrs a week right now, but will pick up eventually. I am offering 2.50 an hour per child, some days will only require watching one of them. I provide all meals, snacks, etc, as it will be in my home. Taking the girls out and about can be an discussed. I would be happy to give a full description of what exactly I am looking for in a sitter, if you would email me a number to reach you, and we can set up a date to meet. Only those willing to set up a face-to-face interview will be taken seriously. Please email me with serious inquiries, and you can get a full description from there :)
URL: http://norfolk.craigslist.org/kid/1871656641.html
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25) Live-in wanted (Atlanta)
Female live-in helper wanted to help single mother. Mornings, some afternoon chauffeuring (usually within a few miles of the house), and some overnights for when I have to go out of town. Payment: Room & Board (Private room, utilities, wi-fi cable, basic food) provided. You will need to be employed during the day, and have your own car. This family is an active, outgoing, healthy, athletic, mostly vegan family and expects the same. We watch very little TV. There are housekeeping tasks, which varies based on family needs. My boys are gone most school holidays. You would be free 2 or 3 weekends a month, during the week day, and most weekday evenings (I always travel one weekend a month (military duty) and need to be able to say yes to work trips, hence the overnight care that's needed.) And, of course, most school holidays and summer vacation are free time from the kids.
A successful candidate will have experience with children (educating, parenting, coaching, mentoring), makes a good houseguest, respects the family rules, and is the kind of person I want to stay.
To calculate Room and Board add the costs for the following: rent, water, gas, electric, cable, internet, monthly basic groceries.
URL: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/sat/dmg/1858765699.html
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26) Wanted: Babysitter (Atlanta)
Hello, I am in need of a babysitter to come to my home Monday through Friday 7 AM-5 PM to babysit a 1 year old little girl. I am looking for someone who is reliable, has reliable transportation, childcare experience, and MUST have CLEAN BACKGROUND! This is a TEMPORARY position. Needs to be able to provide references and can start immediately. Serious inquiries only. Will be interviewing Sat. July 24th. The pay will be between 80-90 a week since it will be a temporary position.( about a month or so). If you have all the requirements above and would like to make some extra money please respond. I will provide everything that she will need plus food for you as well.
URL: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/nat/dmg/1857667183.html
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27) babysitting pleeease!! she's a doll!! (Seattle)
I am looking into a babysitter for my first time and just realized how expensive day care is in my quest to find some needed help!
I am looking for the occasional 2 days a week.. mayyybe 3 if called for it. Normally family watches her but has been very difficult with maintaining reliance, due to their own personal lives. I am starting to get a load of wrk and normally wrk from 9 to 5, I started a month ago for a cleaning business and its just been getting very busy. I am looking for someone affordable, flexible ( at first, but we can set a schedule that works for you :) )& EXPERIENCED!! (either with relatives or children of their own) my daughter is delightful and a great character, so it wont be hard to get along with her or very difficult. SHE IS ALSO AGE 2,she has just been taught to potty and loves it, but occasionally has an accident so bare with her.
BTW smartest/ most sociable 2 yr. old you will ever meet. She is the love of my life and I am in much needed help. I think I'm only gunna try this craigslist thing once, so please respond : )
I NEED YOU. 425 971 ****.. leave me a voicemail please. as its rude for me to take calls in my line of work, thank you! 50-75 wk
URL: http://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/dmg/1866777440.html
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28) still looking for overnight sitter (Madison)
We are in need of a overnight sitter from 5pm to 630am. Sitting would be for our 2yr boy either in our home or yours. Sitting would include dinner baths and bed time. He goes to bed between 830-900pm. So the job would be simple. He sleeps threw the night. I work from 4pm-12am sunday-thursday, so if you would be at our home you would be able to leave when I arrived. My boyfriend works a 4on 4off schedule 6pm-6am so we would only need you whenever he would be working. Some times it would be on weekends when he would be working. I work in Columbus and he works in deforest. Pay would be discussed when if interested. We are thinking some where around $30 a day. We are hoping to find someone in Poynette area. If you would do it in our home we do have a 2yr lab which he is very well trained just a lil excited for new people. If interested please email or call me with any questions. Thanks for looking. Sam
samanthajk291@**** 920-296-****
URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/kid/1861681754.html
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Special thanks to the following Readers for their Contribution: Kelly Star, Cinder38, MissDee, Kell.Malloy, chgonanny and hijabiniqaabi... those were some hilarious Ads this week... great job! Unfortunately, several that were sent with a Link had already been flagged by the time I got to them and because the text wasn't included, I could not use them. If possible, Copy & Paste the body of the Ad with your Link! Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO.