I work for a great family with 6 month old twin babies. These babies are happy and very easy. I do all of their daily care (meals, baths, play, laundry, outings), from waking up until the parents give them their bedtime bottles at 6:30 when I leave, and put them to sleep at 7. A night nurse comes at 9:30 and stays until I arrive in the morning at 6:30 (I work 12 hour days). My question is this: we are going for 10 days to their lake house (without the night nurse) and they have asked me if I would like to work a split shift so that I may have some time to myself in the afternoon. It sounds good in some ways, and in some ways it doesn't. I'm really wondering how other nannies work their hours when traveling with the family, and how you get paid. Can anyone share a successful schedule? Also, I'm concerned because when I'm "off" and around the cabin, how can I not help with the babies if help is needed? Any personal experiences or ideas would be appreciated. Thanks!
Thursday
When the Nanny Travels Along...
Received Thursday, May 20, 2010
I work for a great family with 6 month old twin babies. These babies are happy and very easy. I do all of their daily care (meals, baths, play, laundry, outings), from waking up until the parents give them their bedtime bottles at 6:30 when I leave, and put them to sleep at 7. A night nurse comes at 9:30 and stays until I arrive in the morning at 6:30 (I work 12 hour days). My question is this: we are going for 10 days to their lake house (without the night nurse) and they have asked me if I would like to work a split shift so that I may have some time to myself in the afternoon. It sounds good in some ways, and in some ways it doesn't. I'm really wondering how other nannies work their hours when traveling with the family, and how you get paid. Can anyone share a successful schedule? Also, I'm concerned because when I'm "off" and around the cabin, how can I not help with the babies if help is needed? Any personal experiences or ideas would be appreciated. Thanks!
I work for a great family with 6 month old twin babies. These babies are happy and very easy. I do all of their daily care (meals, baths, play, laundry, outings), from waking up until the parents give them their bedtime bottles at 6:30 when I leave, and put them to sleep at 7. A night nurse comes at 9:30 and stays until I arrive in the morning at 6:30 (I work 12 hour days). My question is this: we are going for 10 days to their lake house (without the night nurse) and they have asked me if I would like to work a split shift so that I may have some time to myself in the afternoon. It sounds good in some ways, and in some ways it doesn't. I'm really wondering how other nannies work their hours when traveling with the family, and how you get paid. Can anyone share a successful schedule? Also, I'm concerned because when I'm "off" and around the cabin, how can I not help with the babies if help is needed? Any personal experiences or ideas would be appreciated. Thanks!
when exactly do these parents spend any time with their babies?
ReplyDeleteHuh? I would have said the same a few years back, but I have learned that many families (especially here in NYC), have help the WHOLE time. I look after 23 month old twins and the first night the parents spent alone with them was when the kids were 18 months old. Even now, they very rarely have the kids by themselves during the day and if they do, it's never for more than a few hours and afterwards the parents are totally stressed out. I normally have them by myself for 12 hours a day (and these are parents who don't work!!)
ReplyDeleteWow I don't think I could work for parents who don't spend anytime with their children.. It bothers more then I know it should. Why have kids if your not gonna raise them? Anywho, I wouldn't go on vacation with them personally. Since they don't seem to care for the twins alone often or at all, you will prob end up working all day and night. Your down time is during the day and it seems like you will be stuck in the house, so when they get stressed out they will ask for help and then it will lead to helping all day. If you do decide to work, make a vacation contract and ask to be paid hourly. Charge what the night nurse does when you work at night and your pay during the day. If they ask for help during you break, ask to be paid. I would also make sure you have one full day off during the vacation. Again, don't do it...unless your perpared to work 24/7 because even with the best intentions parents can take advantage.
ReplyDeleteIn my experience communication is key. Think about what your ideal working situation is and discuss it with them. Tell them your concerns.
ReplyDeleteSure, it might be awkward but it will make things go much more smoothly. You have to stand up for yourself because you do deserve to be treated fairly!
It sounds like they want you to work a "split shift" so they can count on you to stay up with the babies all night long. So, in other words, your "time to yourself" in the afternoon is going to be the only time you'll be able to sleep--and that will probably be during their afternoon naptime anyway. The fact that you said these parents spend 30 minutes with their kids daily and aren't taking the night nurse with them is a HUGE red flag.
ReplyDeleteWhat exactly do they mean when they ask you to work a "split shift"? Take a few hours off in the afternoon and then be on duty all night? Personally, I would stick to the regular schedule.
ReplyDeleteAs others have said, do not expect to have any actual personal time- be prepared to work 24/7.
Wow, what's the point in even having kids if you can't bear to spend any time with them?! I have twins that are almost 2 years old, and I can count on both hands the number of times I've had a sitter for an hour or two...these are your children, pampered parents, not just some adorable accessories. It's tiring and difficult sometimes, and I wish I had an hour for a nap or a book sometimes, but because I chose to have kids, I'm prepared to actually spend a few years raising them...sheesh...
ReplyDeleteI know that's not what the OP is asking, but the stories of some of these out-of-touch parents are awful...
huh?
ReplyDeleteyou asked the very question that I was going to ask!
What the hell do these parents do? They must have had kids for the accessory need
I think the OP already knows something is up with this, or she wouldn't have asked for input.
ReplyDeleteThis is a recipe for disaster. The parents want a 24/7 care giver, without having to pay for it. Split schedule? Are you kidding me? It's an excuse to keep you up all day and all night. How are you supposed to sleep in between? Will the house be quiet? I don't think so. You will be run ragged by the time you get home.
I would either not go, and that would be a HUGE first choice for me. This is such a no win situation for the sitter. How do you get away? You can't, but you won't be paid for it. OR, I would charge out the wazoo, hoping they wouldn't want to take me. $200 a day doesn't even seem fair, since you will be on call 24/7. That works out to about $8 a hour. That's not much for so much work. And they are going to SCREAM they are paying you while you are asleep, but with the little ones right there, how much sleep can you get? And the night nurse may have been up all night with them. The babies may be used to that.
You didn't mention how much you make by the hour, but I would require my regular pay for 12 hours, times two, or regular pay for 12 hours, and $100 per night, which ever is greater. And tell them to skip the split shift. No point in pretending you won't be working 24/7. If everyone acknowledges you will be on call the entire time, you are more likely to get paid for it. And if they want split time, let it be the night nurse's hours. Tell them you want off at night. They can get up with their own children. The thought of that may make them WANT to open their wallets.
From Anonymous:
ReplyDeletePLEASE take my advice, NEVER EVER travel with a family!!!!!!!!! I did once and it was seriously a nightmear! You never really get time off, it's awkward, exhausting, and just plain old weird. Two things always happen. They either A.) Make you work the whole time, turn you into a PA, and maid and above all make you feel very small. Or B.) They blurr the fine line between employer/employee, they act cool and like they are your friend, take you out for dinners and get you things to make you feel more at home (even though you do not ask nor expect these tokens of "kindness,") then when you guys hit a snag they use it as ammo later on. Plus if you do it once they will always expect you to travel with them.
Here are things to really consider:
1.) It is not a vacation for you, maybe for the parents but not you or the kids it's work.
2.)The kids spend the same amount of time with you as you would if you were not on vacation so in your case a 12 hour day.
3.) What if in the future you cannot go due to personal obligations (i.e. family, school, a boyfriend and or husband, friends wedding and so on,) and they just make a big stink? And this stink turns out to be a real issue where they no longer like or respect you have a life outside of work? Or you just do not want to? You are intitled to feel that way you know that right! This is what happend to me I got older, moved on in my personal life, got a boyfriend, my social calendar picked up, my siblings had children of their own I wanted to visit in turn my family got bigger when I married. They got angry that I was no longer available outside my 11 hour work day and threw it in my face every chance they got. They ended up treating me like I no longer mattered just because I put down some boundaries outside my work hours. I find it sad really sad basically because I did the same thing they did at my age.
My point is, you are the "help" in a situation like travel. And from my own experience and hearing my nanny friends travel tales it is always ends sour for the nanny. They will try to sell you on that you will get paid, and get this and that but in the end they will be difficult, take advantage of you and make you want to tear your hair out.
May 20, 2010 4:34:00 PM
Oh I forgot to add this. If you choose not to go work out an agreement. Say you cannot go because you do not feel comfortable and would prefer to keep your work hours as they are. Maybe at this time working out a contract (if you do not have one already, if you do revise it and add zero travel witht he family,) with them stating hours, vacation time paid,weekly pay, no travel with the family, duties, and so on would be key. If that does not work just drive home the point you do not feel comfortable and would not like to work through the night or be on call. If you absolutely need to be paid work out a compromise with them you are both okay with. If it were me I would rather not be paid just to avoid the ulcer travling witht the family would give me.
I really feel if you level with them and stay firm you will not travel due to personal convictions and comfort level they will understand, they may not like it but they will come around. If you set up boundaries when they need them it works out in the long run for everyone. They have expectations of you and boundaries you have to respect why can't you have expectations and boundaries! Just because it's your job doesn't mean you cannot have boundaries...no boundaries leads to being a walked on.
Anonymous said...
ReplyDeleteI don't know what would the alternative be? you get paid vacation time? or you say no and don't get paid... as long as you are being compensated for the hours you are working I think it would be alright. As for time off while in the same home as them, i would use that time to have your own nap, go to the beach, explore in town... just get out of the house, so that you are not tempted to help. it's really up to you. I always enjoy vacationing with work, because i'm still getting paid while seeing new places. for me the change of scenery is well worth it.
are they expecting you to get any sleep at all? just a couple of hours to yourself in the afternoon?
ReplyDeleteI'd be wary.