I saw a really, really, awfully terrible nanny today. This happened at about 1230 PM. I didn't interact with her at all. I was dealing with my own but kept observing very inappropriate handling and speaking to a child. One thing I heard was that the nanny had packed sandwiches and the little girl grabbed a sandwich eagerly after nanny unzipped the picnic bag. The nanny backhanded her hand-not hard- but inappropriately and told her "That's my sandwich. You're not allowed to have mayonaise". The little girl put her face on her hands and just waited. You could tell the little girl didn't mean anything by it! Then after lunch, the nanny made the little girl run all these paths that she directed. She made her run and was screaming at her "faster, faster". At one point the little girl said her legs were tired and the nanny said, "your legs aren't tired, they're fat".The reason I think this is the nanny is because she was wearing a baseball cap, with the smalles bulb of a ponytail sticking out. The hat was an NYU hat and her hair was blonde. The nanny had an English accent. Of course, she COULD have been the mother. She was very pale and thin, wearing khaki shorts and a nondescript sweatshirt. The little girl was also pale and white. She had darker hair, medium brown. The little girl was NOT NOT NOT fat. She was normal looking. You could tell all she wanted to do was please this nanny/(mom?). The other reason I think it was a nanny is because there was no warmth relationship between them. The little girl was wearing denim shorts and pink addidas tennis shoes with velcroe buckles. Their picnic tote was a blue and black vinyl square with a long strap.
Great sighting OP. Hopefully if it's a nanny the parents see. If it's the mom, it's just sad :(
ReplyDelete:( I would've kicked her in her cooch. Poor kid.
ReplyDeleteThis nanny seems to get around. Reports of what appears to be this same nanny have surfaced for years. She's heartless and cruel but continues to get new positions. Maybe she works cheap. She must be stopped.
ReplyDeleteis it possible the child had an allergy to mayonaise?
ReplyDeletediscusting, I live in the next town over and I have yet to see a nice nanny, the worst I have seen is at cherry lawn park in darien, all the nannies sit there talking on their cell phones not interacting with the children
ReplyDeleteThere is no question that nannies need constant training and further education in their profession. Parents must have continual discussions with their household help regarding proper methods of how to handle their own children and the do's and don'ts on every level. Children also at the earliest age of comprehension must be taught to tell their parents of anything that happens in the day that upset them in any way. My book: The Professional Housekeeper - can help!!
ReplyDeleteMoi, even if so, that is not the way to deal with it!
ReplyDeleteUh you can tell it's the nanny because there's no warmth in their interactions? Are you kidding me? So no nannies have warm loving interactions with kids, and no mothers are cold hearted with their kids? Ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteVanessa, she said that is why she THOUGHT it was the nanny.
ReplyDeleteAnd if I saw interactions in which there was no warmth, I would assume it wasn't a parent and was a nanny/babysitter.
You're ridiculous.
Please there are many parents that are cold toward their children. I think they take their frustrations/anger out on their kids.
ReplyDeleteI think the OP said it could have been or could not have been. It is great that she even acknowledged it could have been a mom. We don't all come from the same POV. Just take a chill pill, relax and enjoy the breeze.
ReplyDeleteI hate parents or Nannies like that. It's people like that that cause eating disorders in young girls. Telling a child she/he is fat when they most certainly aren't is despicable and if it were up to me, would not only be illegal but would be a capital offense.
ReplyDeleteIt's child abuse, pure and simple. OP I applaud you for posting this and I hope if it is a Nanny that the parents see it. If it's not and it's the mother, then I pray that little girl turns out okay.
Do we really need someone to plug their book here? I thought spam wasn't allowed.
ReplyDeleteOh and Marta, there is plenty of question whether good nannies need further education. While we may focus a lot of attention on the bad ones here, most don't and the bad ones aren't going to benefit from it. We all could use it, nanny and parent alike, and sure enough the best nannies keep apprised of the latest studies on child development and child safety, but they don't need training like some dog.
All that is needed here is for a recognition that is the diametrical opposite of what you would seem to espouse, that nannies are not gardeners or housekeepers. Nor are they circus animals made to do tricks.
Nannies are a part of the family. If parents spent a little time with their nannies the bad ones would be more easily weeded out. Even the best facades fall before genuine observation. To my mind, the best measure a parent could use when assessing their nanny is whether the nanny is always trying to improve; this doesn't mean more and more duties although that is nice but rather without prompting reporting errors through the day, ideas for how to handle situations better the next time, ideas for new activities and so on. If the nanny isn't constantly thinking of how to be better or do more with the children, red flag.
As for your saying that children must tell their parents of anything that upsets them. This is nonsense, pure nonsense, because your focus is the wrong one. This is teaching children to focus on the negative. No, children ought to be taught to share their entire day, good and bad. They must never have the impression that they are tattling on the nanny or the nanny that the children are tattling. The result is inevitably disastrous.
Communication should be warm. Parents need to regularly communicate with their nanny about everything. The children should talk about everything. If something is wrong, it will be revealed in such communication and such communication will prove infinitely more positive, and less oppressive, than the methods you would suggest here.
With respect of course.
Moi, I'm assuming she probably was allergic to mayo. But come on! That is not how you handle that situation. And then telling the girl to run so she can burn the fat off her legs?? This is disgusting! How do people like this even get to be nannies?
ReplyDelete