Received Friday, September 18, 2009 - Rants and Warnings
I am writing to report a nanny whom I just fired. Her name is Breanne and she is posting herself on www.nannies4hire.com as a nanny available in NYC. Her profile is http://www.nannies4hire.com/view.asp?class=nanny&id=354168 and you can also see her photo there. She was fired for the following reasons:
1. After only three days of caring for my child alone (she was either with me or my former nanny for three weeks in order to train), Breanne left my child alone in a bathtub for an extended period of time. My child subsequently fell and received 6 stitches on her chin.
2. drinking at night while I was not home (wine was missing and I found an empty vodka bottle in her room)
3. smoking during the day despite saying she is a non-smoker
4. my housekeeper came to the house one morning and found my child alone in my bedroom with the door closed, still in pajamas and hungry for breakfast. It was 10 a.m.
5. In addition to the empty vodka bottle, I found receipts in her room that indicate that she was engaging in personal activities such as manicures and shopping while my daughter was in her care, a book called How to Make Love Like a Porn Star by Jenna Jameson, a vibrator, dirty men's underwear, and pregnancy tests.
Breanne is not fit to be a nanny or to have anyone's child in her care. She is irresponsible, she uses drugs and drinks to excess, and does not have the child's best interests in mind
I am so sorry, you had to go threw this. Thank goodness- nothing, besides the stitches, happened worst to your child- especially in the bathtub. I am so glad your child is ok.
ReplyDeleteGood post. I hope it serves its intended purpose and the right people (prospective employers) see it.
ReplyDeleteDear "Thank Goodness"
ReplyDeleteThe word is through, not threw. Don't mind me I am the Gestapo when it comes to typos etc.
I searched the the nanny in question profile at 4nannies, the website says they do not have a registered user with that number.
Either she removed it, the website did, or you are just making this all up!
So at what point did you search her room??
ReplyDeletesd, probably as soon as they got the child back from the ER from getting the stitches caused by the nanny leaving her unattended in the bathtub. Or maybe it was afer they noticed their wine supply having been broken into. Why do you ask?
ReplyDeleteHer profile has been removed.
ReplyDeleteI would have fired her on the spot if she left me child unattended in the bathtub, especially if my child got hurt and needed 6 stiches.
ReplyDeleteOP, I'm sorry you and your child had to go through that.
I'm glad your child is okay, that is horrible.
ReplyDeleteDid all of this happen in one day? The housekeeper finding her, the stitches, then searching her room?
Was she a stellar nanny for three weeks and two days then screwed up one day?
Why does it matter what book she reads in her time off. That's an autobiography, not a how to. Adding it to your list of reasons for firing her makes me think you're making things up or reaching.
Her profile doesn't exist anymore, so I guess you've done your job. If she was negligent with your child, did you call protective services? That's child abuse.
I have to agree with Skeptical on some issues. I absolutely do not condone EVER leaving a child in the tub alone. Some of the other stuff is up for circumstantial debate IMO. For instance, when she was drinking wine....was she 'on duty' or was someone else home, like your husband and she was really off duty while you just happened to not be there. I wouldn't question this but like Skeptical said, the mention of personal items found in her supposedly personal space seemed like padding to the story, therefore somewhat invalidating other aspects. Seriously, would you rather your live-in nanny have a vibrator(for use in the privacy of her room in her off time) or a man(under the same circumstnaces). Live in nannies still get to have a life in their off duty hours. Best to keep your accusations ONLY to her qualities as a nanny and back it all up...like what evidence do you have that she was using drugs?
ReplyDeleteSo it's OK for nannies to drink their employer's wine without even asking them? Ever heard of something called manners?
ReplyDeleteWorld's Best Nanny,
ReplyDeleteYou have numerous typos yourself. You might want to edit your comments properly when pointing out the spelling/grammatical flaws of others.
Grammar Nazi, I was just going to point out the same thing! World's Best Nanny: people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones! People that feel they have to point out the flaws in others normally have plenty of flaws themselves. Just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteIn regards to the post, this is the kind of nanny that gives us stellar nannies a bad name. It doesn't even sound like she was trying. No breakfast and still in PJ's at 10am???? Unattended in the bathtub??? That is unacceptable. While this nanny was rightfully terminated, I do not see how her reading materials and vibrator are relevant. As long as these things aren't being "used" on the clock, it shouldn't be an issue. Glad the child is ok!
Well with a name like that ofcourse the woman will point out flaws. I know the difference between to and too and where and were but sometimes we just make those mistakes because we don't proof read. So pull the stick out of your ass. We all make mistakes.
ReplyDeleteHonestly I am just relieved your child didn't drown. It's just horrible. And the fact that she took your wine, well that doesn't exactly go with the help yourself to any food section. Sure the woman can drink her vodka. But the basic things such as lying about smoking and the improper care of your child shows she was irresponsible and dishonest. Those are the major things. I have gotton a pedicure with a newborn infant in my care during her nap time on her sling around my neck but doing so with an older child I would too consider inappropriate unless she had permission. I'm assuming your child is older. Just be happy it didn't end worse.
You took a newborn baby with you to get a pedicure? Wow! The chemicals and fumes in the air at nail salons has been proven to be damaging to your health. I myself get pedicures twice/month, it's my choice to expose myself to those chemicals. However, I believe that under no circumstances should a child be taken into a nail salon. That's just irresponsible and wrong!
ReplyDeleteNanny down south, I don't know what kind of salon you go to- but where I am from parents take their 5 year olds to salons all the time for spa treatments. Next time you have a child with you, make sure you don't allow them breath in the air outside or have a car drive by them or stand in an elevator with someone wearing too much perfume. Instead wrap them in bubble wrap and keep them hidden in a closet. As far as I know the newborn is doing just fine.
ReplyDelete"where I am from parents take their 5 year olds to salons all the time for spa treatments. "
ReplyDeleteOMG!
OMG indeed. That being said, I was never that lucky.
ReplyDeleteI live in Orange County California and little girls here do go with their moms to get manicures/pedicures (as young as 3 yrs old) Little girls love their nails done like mommy. I was just wondering how she knew the child was left "alone" in the tub and slipped? Did the nanny admit to this? I can see how a child can even slip while you are there watching them, depending on the age of the child some kids try and get out and can fall. The whole drinking thing...not cool. The vibrator..not your business, unless she actually went in a "toy store" with your child and bought it on your time, not cool. Leaving the child in "your room" not cool either.
ReplyDeleteThe part I thought was odd was that this nanny was in training for three weeks and no one got even an idea that she was unfit? Three weeks is a long time to get to know someone, plus I have never in my life had that much training for any job.
ReplyDeletewell obviously the nanny must of had been putting up a show.
ReplyDeleteMissMannah-people can be super good at putting up fronts.
ReplyDeleteI'm also guessing that OP knew that her daughter was left alone when her daughter needed stitches.
Stitches don't prove neglect. Maybe the child was old enough to verbalize or the nanny actually admitted to leaving the child?
ReplyDeleteI hope the OP isn't exaggerating or making things up, but it does seem a little odd that the nanny was in training for 3 weeks and managed to be a completely different person, then did all this in 3 days.
I know I will get flamed for this, but I think this post sucks.
ReplyDeleteSorry OP, but you sound horrible. I don't believe a word of it. I generally try to give the OP the benefit of the doubt, but it seems to me that there were red flags that were ignored by YOU, first of all. Secondly, as another poster stated, a child can fall in a bathtub with someone right there: it only takes a second. Once when my child was younger, she fell while being silly in the tub and both me and her Dad were RIGHT THERE WATCHING. Luckily she did not need stitches, but you are saying "an extended period of time": this is HEARSAY. you were not there! How do you know how long she left her in the tub, if at all? Thirdly, many of your complaints are just wacko and have absolutely nothing to do with what kind of a caregiver she is.
Sorry, but I think it's horrible that you are slandering this nanny. You could be ruining someone's career just because you don't like them. If she is that neglectful, go to the police, not plaster her name all over the internet. (And if you did go to the police, they would just send you back on your way: you have no grounds here except complaints that do not sound like abuse.)
Sorry but you really really suck.
Just my opinion.
Wow MM,
ReplyDeleteAt long last we disagree! (But I still love ya!)
I would not have a nanny who drank a bottle of my wine without asking first, or found the need to keep a bottle of vodka in her room. Who, besides somebody with an alcohol issue, needs vodka so badly that they would sit and drink it in their bedroom alone?
She smoked in the presence of a child (or left her alone to do so) ...when it seems evident that the issue of smoking was addressed in the interview process...so she should have known it was not OK with OP. (Which is made even more obvious by the fact that she lied about it.) At the very least, this shows she is dishonest.
What was nanny doing while child was shut into mom and dad's bedroom, not yet dress, and having not been fed? That's bad form when being PAID to take good care of a child.
AND, what is nanny doing with dirty MENs underwear and empty liquor bottles in her room? These are not typical items that one would import into a home. (Vibrator, book and pregnancy tests...who cares? It's her business what she does on her off hours. But the other items indicate possible/probable breach of trust while on the job.) It makes me seriously wonder what she is doing on the days when the housekeeper isn't there to rat her out. Shouldn't she have been more embarrassed by the care she took IN FRONT of the housekeeper? Who knows what she did then, when totally unsupervised?!
And I suspect OP has a reason to say that the child was left alone in the tub for a while...otherwise it would be just too silly a thing to speculate on. The housekeeper or her child probably told her about it. It seems to go hand in hand with the explanation of the bathtub fall.
This really sounds to me like the kind of nanny where, if a tragedy occurred after the parents had ignored all of these red flags, people would be able to legitimately accuse them of negligence for continuing to leave the child in her care.
MM, would you seriously leave YOUR precious child with this nanny? It's always nice to give people the benefit of the doubt when possible...except when it comes to a potential safety issue involving a child, IMHO. There is no wiggle room whatsoever there.
mom,
ReplyDeleteI love you too! lol and now maybe people will believe we are two different people! lol
To answer your question: I don't know if I would leave my child with this nanny. I have never met her and I don't know her. But then again, I rarely leave my child with anyone and am freaking out over her being in a public school setting! lmfao!!! so...maybe not! :)
I guess I have a sore spot when it comes to people posting stuff on the internet about nannies. The one and only family I nannied for, upon my leaving the job due to pregnancy (I was 8.5 months pregnant when I left) never had any complaints, and I often asked them if they were pleased with my work and they always said yes. I did however complain to them for continuing to come home late, which really bothered me (not just 15 minutes, but over 45 minutes, usually two to three times a week, and I was on salary, already putting in a 10 hour day.)
Well long story short, they posted a similar "warning" about me: talked about how I was always on the internet (when I took the job they said I was more than welcome to use the internet when the children napped which is the only time I ever did it) and also claiming that I got "uppity" when they were a "few minutes late."
they did not put my name but did cut and paste an ad I had posted a couple months later looking for childcare. I wrote to CL and complained about slander and they took her "ad down."
There are always two sides to every story, but I do agree with everything you said. I guess this post reminded me of my own experience.
quote Dear "Thank Goodness"
ReplyDeleteThe word is through, not threw. Don't mind me I am the Gestapo when it comes to typos etc.
I searched the the nanny in question profile at 4nannies, the website says they do not have a registered user with that number.
Either she removed it, the website did, or you are just making this all up!
End quote
Where are my typos? The only thing I can see is the "the the."
We have no issues with the nanny in question? Just my grammar mistakes?
If I lived in a glass house I would still throw rocks. I am a household manager, not just a nanny. I am the weekend nannies boss, not to mention the cook and the housekeepers. I make 50 grand a year. I can afford new glass and the best repair men to do it. Finding the "best" of everything is what I do for my employers on a daily basis.
WBN:
ReplyDeleteyou make 50 grand a year? geez.
please lend me 50 bucks so that I can get an authentic Voldemort wand replica on ebay.
cmon. you can afford it. I make crap. :(
MM,
ReplyDeleteI can now understand your concerns about people here just being vindictive when they post about a nanny. You'e had a bad experience, and none of us can help but be colored a bit by those.
Unfortunately, some people are just that low that they would post a fake siting...but I am going to believe that that is WAY in the minority...because most people are not that evil (I hope.)
While it is true that a siting like this would prevent me from even considering hiring a certain nanny (which would not be fair to her if somebody had lied about her, but I take zero chances in that arena with my own kids) , I am also the type who never, never left my kids with any babysitter I didn't have extensive knowledge of and absolute trust in. So, if I were to see one of MY babysitters on here, I would at first take it with a grain of salt...make that a whole salt shaker. I would check it out, of course, but I would never have jumped to a conclusion about any of my sitters based on what I saw here. I only wish everybody did as much checking UP FRONT about their sitters/nannies...which I think would make the numbers of bad nanny sitings go way down.
Except, I suppose, there will always be those parents who barely give a darn and just want the cheapest warm body they can get to sit with their kid...so even the worst of nannies will be finding work....maybe not earning a lot...but work anyway. Damn.
It is unlikely that this nanny did all of these things in one day. The nanny did you a favor, she revealed her horrible self. It is up to YOU to look out for your child. Jane, aren't you a part of a panel that suggested parents atleast be culpable when they hire nannies who hurt and kill their children and haven't done a basic due diligence? I'm not saying OP didn't do diligence, but beyond that she saw warning signs. Maybe OP didn't have time to interview someone else. Priorities.
ReplyDeleteWorld's Best Nanny:
ReplyDeleteYou had several mistakes. Many of those were punctuation. But all that aside, I find it laughable that you had to toot your own horn so to speak. I applaud your efforts as a nanny or household manager or whatever you are but did we REALLY need to know that you make 50,000 a year? Personally, I could care less. And had you taken the time to read my comment, you would have seen that I DID indeed comment on the nanny in the posting.
I'm sorry but what does it matter what's in your nannys room as long as it's not illegal? (why were you snooping? That's an invasion of privacy! Bad employer!) I'm a nanny, and I have a vibrator, lubrication... And god forbid condoms but they're kept in my drawers... Away from
ReplyDeleteeveryones eyes... And on a couple of occasions I kept a bottle of wine in my room (that was left over from a night out with my boyfriend, not to drink by myself but wouldn't hesitate if i wanted a glass while enjoying a book on MY time off).... What's in nannys room is not your business...
These particular items go into the character of the nanny...as well as suggest that she may be doing skeevy things inside OPs home.
ReplyDeleteIf you came across a bunch of nazi memorabilia and propaganda in your nanny's room, would you still say, "it doesn't matter what's in her room, as long as it's not illegal?"
First off, I want to state that overall this nanny sounded pretty terrible. Like, textbook bad nanny. I do have a few cents to add regarding the issue of privacy.
ReplyDeleteMom,
I respect a lot of what you have to add to this forum but I take issue with your comment about the items found in this nanny's bedroom saying something about her "character."
Having been a live-in nanny for a number of years, I'm very sensitive regarding the topic of room invasion, UNLESS there is a serious cause for the concern of the child. In this case there was, yet, the items found don't align with child abuse unless she was utilizing them while on the clock.
Back when I was a live-in, if my employers came across my condoms (I had a boyfriend), vibrator, Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkin's literature, pictures from Burning Man, etc...I would seriously blush. Though that blushing would be due to the contrast of lifestyles and perspectives I had with said employers. Neither of our belief systems were "wrong" but a personal decision. They were very spiritual and modest folks. I respected that, but that's not how I roll. I'm a very liberal, non-religious, outgoing person. That never got in the way of having a successful and satisfying professional relationship with them for the three years I lived in their home. Now, let's say they had breached my privacy, gone into my room, and found my books on Atheism, pictures of me riding around the desert topless on a bike (Burning Man, ha)... they might've jumped to some unfair conclusions about my "character."
I live a very ethical live, practiced safe sex with my boyfriend (AT HIS PLACE) don't touch drugs, drink rarely, and never infused my political and theological beliefs (or lack thereof) into what I taught the children. I respected the beliefs of the household.
However, if my employers did traipse around my room they would've found those items and could've easily made some inaccurate assumptions about my "character." Possibly some unfair and ridiculous stereotype along lines of, "She's a morally depraved Atheist who has a sex addiction!" Which, of course, couldn't be further from the truth. See where I'm going with this?
People aren't always what they seem, so until you have valid proof...let the assumptions go.
Former LIve IN,
ReplyDeleteAre we even talking apples to apples? I don't care what nanny does on her own time, or who she has sex with...unless it is in OPs house without her knowledge or permission.
The items that concern me specifically are the dirty mens underwear (probably indicating he took them off there (because who carts around mens dirty underwear?), and the empty vodka bottle. Who brings an empty bottle home.
Well said Former Live-in! Mom, I always love reading your comments. You offer wonderful perspective on a variety of topics. However I agree that the vibrator and other sexual things do not speak ill of a persons charcater. This nanny sucked. No doubt about it. The stealing of the wine, smoking on the job, and endangerment of the child speak volumes of her character. But the sexual things do not. That should not even have been put in this post.
ReplyDeleteThanks VA Nanny,
ReplyDeleteBut AGAIN, I don't care about the vibrator,books, pregnancy tests or anything else EXCEPT the dirty mens underwear and the empty vodka bottle.
Nanny can vibrate her little self until her toenails fall off, while reading porn and peeing on pregnancy sticks for all I care. But I fear she may have had a man into OPs home for sex, and that she may be drinking alone in her room. Those two things would not be OK with me as an employer. Drinking hard liquor alone in one's room signals a potentially serious problem, and it is just unacceptable to have strange men into somebody else's home without their permission...and if it was in OP's absence, it may well mean she did it while she should have been babysitting. (Maybe that's why the child was alone and uncared for that morning?) If I was a nanny and felt it was "right" for me to have a man in my bed in my employer's home, I would hope I would have the guts/character enough to just tell her right up front what I was planning to do...since I would think it was so right and all. To sneak is deceptive (and also indicates that she knew it was not right)...and I do not consider such a thing honorable or a mark of good character. THAT is what I am talking about NOT, NOT, NOT her books and vibrator.
Forgive me for misunderstanding.
ReplyDeleteAh yes, I forgot about the male underwear. That is wretched and hard-core as far as troublesome evidence is concerned. You state your case well, Mom. Forgive my previous blather.
ReplyDeleteMom,
ReplyDeleteThis is clearly a bad nanny, and I don't defend her on any count. On the issue of the vodka bottle in general (and drinking alone) however, I have to disagree.
I live alone in my own apt. I have some liquor on hand. Occasionally when I come home late after an extended and exhausting day at work, I will pour myself a drink, pop in a DVD, stretch out and relax. It's late, and I'm too tired to invite company! I don't think this makes me a bad nanny.
Remember, for a LI nanny, that room is her home. She lives alone.
If the employers practice a religion that does not allow use of alcohol, and for that, or any other reason do not allow alcohol in the house, that is a different story.
I agree that she sounds unfit for the job. I wouldn't want to hire her, that's for sure.
ReplyDeleteThe bathtub situation is a definite no-no. Drinking, scary. Smoking, sick. Neglecting a child's breakfast is dereliction of duty.
Buying a vibrator, adult books, etc. is certainly not good. Manicures are wrong while working.
That all said, I can't see anything wrong with her going shopping in general for others or buying pregnancy tests.
This list is long enough without these innocuous additions.