I had an incident that I think I should share with you. I was selling my vehicle and had placed an ad on craigs list. I had many interested people call. I made appointments with some. Some showed, Some didn't. Some didn't like it when they got there, others did. A handful of people wanted to test drive the car. I had two black women, one of them definitely had a caribbean accent and one of them did not come to meet me to see the vehicle. On the phone, she wasn't sure she could find my house so she asked to meet somewhere. We ended up meeting in the parking lot between the Willet House and the gas station on Abendroth in Port Chester, NY. The person interested in the vehicle was a passenger in an old, possibly 96 or 97 white jeep cherokee. Her friend said she needed to go to the store and the person interested in the car, "Alice" got out of the car and grabbed a child from the back seat. More on that later. So she seems nice enough. She is asking me questions and the two year old is fussing and she is short with her. Ok, I get that. The child is white, wearing a yellow and tan sun dress with flowers on it, brown sandal shoes and bloomer shorts with the same print as the dress. She has pale skin, light eyes and extremely blonde hair. She loos small for two. The nanny has told me she is two when I asked. The nanny tells me she needs a car soon and has cash but she wants to test drive it. I'm like okay. And she is still holding the little girl and she walks to the car. I say, "where's her carseat", she says, "I just want to test drive down this road (water street). I say, "no way. I don't want any kid in my car not buckled." What does she do? She walks over to me and puts out her hand for the keys and at the same time offers me the girl. I say, "what". And she says, "she'll stay with you. she don't care none". I am looking at her like she is nuts and she makes a loud annoyed sound and says, "I aint buying it if I don't take it for a ride and I got the cash right here". Now she sets the kid down at her feet, opens her white bag and pulls out an envelope with 100 dollar bills. I am tempted to make the sale but I say, "You know what, I don't want any part of this". She starts going off on me and says "What do you mean any part of this? You selling or you not selling?". I walk to my car and get in. She picks up the girl and walks over to me and starts saying, "cocksucker, punk ass cocksucker" And with one hand, she bangs on the passenger window. All the while holding this little girl. She had smoothed down hair, medium brown with a reddish tint to the front part of it. She was AA and wearing jean shorts to her knees, about 30 yo. She had on white flip flops.Question? Who in the hell hired this monster to be her nanny or babysitter? This all happened tonight at about 6:10 PM in the public parking lot/train lot on Abendroth Avenue in Port Chester.
How do we know she's a nanny and not the grandmother or aunt or mom? Different skin tones does not always mean people aren't related. Families come in many shades. This woman seems like a total messed up monster who has no right to be taking care of a child, but let's not jump to conclusions based on race.
ReplyDeleteThat said, if she is the nanny, I hope the parents see this and both fire her and press charges. If she's the legal main caretaker, contact Child Protective Services and relay your story and any ifo you have on the woman- phone number etc.
Are you out of your mind? Do you think I would post this on a national nanny blog if I thought she was anything other than a nanny? The words I referenced were not the only words we shared. When I asked how old the child was, she told me, "she's not mine, I just watch her".
ReplyDeleteTo the blog editor,
how do you run a blog and put up with idiots she who posted first?
I will admit, the most annoying Question asked on this Blog is "How do you know it was the Nanny?" I have said this before and I will say it again... I prefer to give the OP the benefit of the doubt.
ReplyDeleteWe were not there, they were.
I'm glad you got your bullshit pc rehetoric speel out mama llama. Feel better? Now let's move on.
ReplyDeleteMamallama has just as much right as everyone else to post whatever she wants to, a long as it is not profain or hateful. There really is no need to attack her. She is asking a legitamate question-- even if it is not to you. It is her right on a public blog. There is also need to attack her with names her ideals as it realates to political correctness.
ReplyDeleteWow.. back on topic.. thats HORRIBLE. I feel so bad for that little girl. She doesn't deserve to ever be pawned off with a stranger so her caregiver can test drive a car. Talk about dangerous! Everything wrong in this situation seemed to have happened. Of course, I'm glad you decided to walk away and not get involved with this situation, no good was coming of this.
ReplyDeleteI hope her mother and/or father see this, and get her a new caregiver.
The question is kind of stupid. People may assume this person is a nanny or that person is a mom, but the kind of person who is going to take the time to write up what they observed and submit it to a, um, nanny blog is probably pretty sure they are speaking of a nanny.
ReplyDeleteSo, for the record, I would like to say that we ALL KNOW that a black woman could be the mother or grandmother of a white child and Mexican woman can be the mother or aunt or sister of a black or white or chinese child and a chinese child can be the daughter of a white woman or a black woman and an arab child can be the grandaughter of a white grandmother or the child of a Puerto Ricon mother. We get it. Seriously, we get it.
It sounds like the Caregiver did not know why you were acting like you were. She saw nothing wrong with you watching a child while she tested your vehicle, once you pointed out to her the problem of her going into the car without a child safety seat. From the information you wrote she probably thought that you were just not willing to let her test the car out and was attempting to cheat her or were giving her an attitude for some reason. Which was true, but she probably truly could not figure out why you were giving it.
ReplyDeleteWe treat our children a hell of allot better here in the States then most (all?) second or third world countries do. I am not saying we love our children MORE, it is just we have more laws and protections for our children, then many second and third world countries. Allot of that is because we have had the where with all to do so. It was not more then 20-30 years ago that child seats were relatively unheard of. Let alone required.
If you read the introduction paragraph in the following link you will see what I mean.
http://www.nysgtsc.state.ny.us/sesa-ndx.htm
NY did not have its first child safety seat law until 1985. It had a child restraint law in 1982. Heck seat belts are a relatively new concept as far as the law is concerned. It is after all only during the 70's that they were starting to become the norm in vehicles. This is a relatively new thought process for governments since most changes in governments take decades to enact, there were allot of moaning and groaning well before the law got enacted I am sure. "We" first world countries have gotten used to this over the past 20-30 or so years, other countries are well behind most first world countries in such laws.
Note I condone everything the OP did to prevent the child from being endangered, I am glad she did what she did. I am just pointing out why the women would consider the OP a crazy American and not understand why the OP was saying what she was saying. :)
As an aside remember our discussion the kidnapping of the 11 year old girl? Many of us remember when it was the norm to not have to check in with our parents every five minutes and could go far afield on our free days. Now it has become very much not so for many families. She coming from her third world background probably thought nothing of handing off the kid for another woman to watch, I doubt if she would have done that with a man. Besides after all she would have had the OP's car.
I'm male.
ReplyDeleteMy apologies for the assumption then. I really wish there was a way to re-edit my post now. :) My, my foot really needs ketchup.
ReplyDeleteCD-
ReplyDeleteI totally got that the OP was a male. Also, if you are going to employ someone who is from another country, I think you would inform them of the local laws. Whether or not those laws had been implemented 2 or 20 years ago, so I don't think that is an excuse. I get angry when my family allows my 8 y.o. 50 lb daughter to ride w/o a booster. Not because it is illegal, but because it is just safer and I think it's good that that OP posted this to let the parents know.
CD-
ReplyDeleteI should apologize, I assumed the OP was a male, but I didn't mean to make it sound like you should have know also!
Not following the law just becuase you are from a differnt country is no excuse. Especially if you have a US drivers liscense, I was just trying to think of why the Nanny might not get why the OP had a problem with it when it was "just down the street and back" and why they may have been so blaise about handing the kid over to the OP. Though granted that particular thought went out the window when I found out the OP was male.
ReplyDeleteCorey apologies excepted and no offense taken. It happens when we get into typing what we are trying to say, that sometimes things do not come together exactly how we mean. No matter how many times we proof read what we write, sometimes things still get past us, right up until it is too late to retract and re-edit. I try to preview before posting, or sometimes type in Word Perfect before posting but still end up missing things.
ReplyDeletePerfect before posting but still end up missing things.
ReplyDeleteI would kill my nanny, or at the very least fire her if I found out she was;
ReplyDelete1. Doing any sort of "business" on my dime.
2. Having my child around people I haven't met, to even go as far as to ask the stranger to watch my child!!
3. Using obscene language, there is no need for that whatsoever.
Why couldn't she just ask the car seller that she'd be back later?
I would have called the cops immediately and given them this information. Did you do this, OP? If you have not, I would do it right away. This woman verbally assaulted you and was driving a vehicle with a child with no carseat.
ReplyDeletePlease call your local PD.
oh and p.s. OP:
ReplyDeleteyou absolutely did the right thing! I applaud you for standing your ground in what sounds like a scary situation.
OP, I think your last paragraph is the best thing said so far:
ReplyDelete"Question? Who in the hell hired this monster to be her nanny or babysitter? This all happened tonight at about 6:10 PM in the public parking lot/train lot on Abendroth Avenue in Port Chester."
This "nanny" obviously has no class at all, based on the aggressive posture she took with you and the vulgar language she used. I seriously wonder how such an individual could possibly have hidden her true personality from the parents. Slim chance. Makes me wonder if she is just the cheapest thing to come knocking in response to their nanny ad. Probably. Sad.
Maybe the parents will care when their little girl conducts a beat down and colorful verbal lashing on one of her preschool classmates? Maybe not. Again, they chose somebody who most likely seemd questionable to begin with.
Handing the child off to a stranger, male or female, is inexcusable under any circumstances, as is driving her without a car seat. So is cursing in front of her or attempting an assault with her in her arms.
OP, PLEASE contact the authorities (Police AND Child protective Services both, to ensure the parents are contacted by at least one of them...sometimes balls get dropped, especially in big cities.) The parents need to know, and what a special added bonus it would be if this nanny gets a black mark on her record that prevents her from working with children, even if only for a while. (Although it sounds like she probably targets parents who don't give a rats behind and are unlikely to run a background check...but one can dream.)
PS I once encountered a family (they had visited our church, and I took notice of them because they had a sick newborn, who, by the sight of her, I suspected had an undiagnosed heart defect. My own daughter had one...and there is a certain "look" to such babies that I find unmistakable.)
ReplyDeleteThey were, let's say, to be kind, of questinable intelligence, and low on ethics. I spoke to them and was assured they had an appointment scheduled to see a cardiologist. (I could tell that they "weren't all there.")I got their number and called the evening after the appointment was to take place and found out that the baby had been admitted to the hospital with a serious heart defect immediately following the appointment. The mother was staying at the hospital with the baby, so I asked the father what I could do to help them. He asked if I would pick up his two year old and keep her at our house... for several days to a week. (Remember, I had spent a total of less than five minutes speaking to them ever before in my life, and they were first time visitors to our church, so I was a complete stranger.)
I told him there was no way I was having any part of that. I also told him that if I was trapped in a hospital with a sick baby (which I had been) and my husband showed up one night and announced that he had left my toddler (who I worried about constantly while I was away)with a total stranger, I would have been beside myself with worry, furious with him for a very long time, and possibly uncomfortable trusting his judgment forever after that.
I did then offer to come to the hospital and sit in the waiting room with the child, after meeting his wife so she would feel comfortable. The jerk then, without missing a beat, asked if I might be willing to pay his hospital parking fees "so that he could even go see her at all." (Because, God forbid, he should walk two blocks in order to avoid the expensive parking garage fees in order to see his potentially fatally ill child.)Moron.
what a scary woman. I wouldn't have wanted to be in that situation at all. Even tho the cash would've been tempting. The poor girl. Why would she want to take the little girl along anyway... and who the hell employs her... cuz I want to make enough to fill an envelope of $100 bills... which would beg the question. What is this nannies other job? Just sayin she may be putting this little girl in more danger than just no carseat and giving her to strangers.
ReplyDeleteWe can always hope that one day soon this little girl will call her father a "cocksucker, punk ass cocksucker" and the nanny will be fired on the spot.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise I hope they see this post. I don't think calling protective services will do anything, especially without a name and a pretty vague description.
This woman doesn't belong working with children.
Chinanny,
ReplyDeleteHA! I hope you're right!
Mom- You said yourself that these people "weren't all there" and then insult their intelligence. You're a jerk.
anon e. moose,
ReplyDeleteSo, which of those things are you that made my post hit such a nerve?
OP, My dear lady, this is why you take a man with you when meeting strangers. You are lucky you didn't get hurt and were smart to get away!
ReplyDeleteSan Diego Girl,
ReplyDeleteThe OP is a guy.