I saw your tweaked out nanny at Central Park Zoo on Friday with your two children. You have a boy, with a short cropped, brown hair do, wearing a pullover, v-neck navy nylon type shirt with a white emblem on it. You have a daughter with long, frizzy hair, wearing pink pants, brown shoes that reminded me of 80's hush puppies and a pink & white faux Letterman's jacket. Your daughter has brown hair and brown eyes and is about 7. Your son is about 4. They were at CPZ at about 4:10 PM when I encountered them. Your nanny has a very thin face, lots of jaw action and is skinny and gaunt. She is white with a short hairstyle and I think she has a pierced tongue. I know this because she was eating a giant red bag of circus peanuts as she walked behind the kids. She was throwing the shells at the 4 year old's head and when the girl saw this, the nanny and her shared a laugh. The boy was carrying an umbrella in it's rolled up position but when it started to sprinkle, the nanny had the girl take the umbrella from him. The boy told the girl and the nanny, in the most pathetic voice, "it's mine, she has her own". The nanny said, "Tough luck Chuck". The nanny and the girl then walked underneath the umbrella which when opened was a brown dog. When the boy tried to get close to them to get under the umbrella, even thought it wasn't raining and they often were under cover, he was elbowed or shoved away. The nanny told him that he was a boy and needed to "toughen up". I was managing three children of my own or believe me, I would have inserted myself in to this situation. The girl's name MAY have been Gracie.
Saturday
Central Park Zoo in NY, NY
Received Saturday, July 25, 2009
I saw your tweaked out nanny at Central Park Zoo on Friday with your two children. You have a boy, with a short cropped, brown hair do, wearing a pullover, v-neck navy nylon type shirt with a white emblem on it. You have a daughter with long, frizzy hair, wearing pink pants, brown shoes that reminded me of 80's hush puppies and a pink & white faux Letterman's jacket. Your daughter has brown hair and brown eyes and is about 7. Your son is about 4. They were at CPZ at about 4:10 PM when I encountered them. Your nanny has a very thin face, lots of jaw action and is skinny and gaunt. She is white with a short hairstyle and I think she has a pierced tongue. I know this because she was eating a giant red bag of circus peanuts as she walked behind the kids. She was throwing the shells at the 4 year old's head and when the girl saw this, the nanny and her shared a laugh. The boy was carrying an umbrella in it's rolled up position but when it started to sprinkle, the nanny had the girl take the umbrella from him. The boy told the girl and the nanny, in the most pathetic voice, "it's mine, she has her own". The nanny said, "Tough luck Chuck". The nanny and the girl then walked underneath the umbrella which when opened was a brown dog. When the boy tried to get close to them to get under the umbrella, even thought it wasn't raining and they often were under cover, he was elbowed or shoved away. The nanny told him that he was a boy and needed to "toughen up". I was managing three children of my own or believe me, I would have inserted myself in to this situation. The girl's name MAY have been Gracie.
I saw your tweaked out nanny at Central Park Zoo on Friday with your two children. You have a boy, with a short cropped, brown hair do, wearing a pullover, v-neck navy nylon type shirt with a white emblem on it. You have a daughter with long, frizzy hair, wearing pink pants, brown shoes that reminded me of 80's hush puppies and a pink & white faux Letterman's jacket. Your daughter has brown hair and brown eyes and is about 7. Your son is about 4. They were at CPZ at about 4:10 PM when I encountered them. Your nanny has a very thin face, lots of jaw action and is skinny and gaunt. She is white with a short hairstyle and I think she has a pierced tongue. I know this because she was eating a giant red bag of circus peanuts as she walked behind the kids. She was throwing the shells at the 4 year old's head and when the girl saw this, the nanny and her shared a laugh. The boy was carrying an umbrella in it's rolled up position but when it started to sprinkle, the nanny had the girl take the umbrella from him. The boy told the girl and the nanny, in the most pathetic voice, "it's mine, she has her own". The nanny said, "Tough luck Chuck". The nanny and the girl then walked underneath the umbrella which when opened was a brown dog. When the boy tried to get close to them to get under the umbrella, even thought it wasn't raining and they often were under cover, he was elbowed or shoved away. The nanny told him that he was a boy and needed to "toughen up". I was managing three children of my own or believe me, I would have inserted myself in to this situation. The girl's name MAY have been Gracie.
Bah! All these sitings of little boys getting picked on are making me very sad/angry!
ReplyDeleteeww. how horrible. throwing food at a child and laughing? This woman is sick! I hope the parents see this.
ReplyDeletegreat siting op!
"lots of jaw action"?
ReplyDeleteNot sure I want to know what that means!
Thank you for the Post, OP. I wish you didn't have your charges with you, either... I would have liked to have seen you give her some jaw action!... with a right hook!
What a B! I hope the parents see this!
ReplyDeleteWe had a babysitter when I was 7-8 (my sister is 4 years younger) who absolutely hated me, but loved my sister. She treated me like crap, yelled at me all the time and called me bad names...all the while exaggeratedly petting on my sister and saying she was such a good girl. Even when she happened upon us outside when she was not babysitting she would stop to be ugly to me for no particular reason. Just like a school bully, only she was my babysitter. I remember once she stopped with one of her friends and the friend was sweet to me and said I was cute...to which the babysitter reacted by telling her not to talk to me because I was a terrible brat, but that my sister, who was sitting beside me, was an angel. It totally crushed and embarrassed me. I was a sweet enough, very shy, obedient kid, so there was no particular reason that I can see for this looking back...but at the time I wondered why I was such a bad, bad girl and it made me feel like there was something wrong with me...but since I didn't know what I was doing I had nothing to correct to make it better, I reached the conclusion that there was simply something fundamentally bad about me. I didn't tell my parents because I believed I was bad like she said I was and it made me too ashamed to admit to my parents that I kept on "needing" to be disciplined.
That's how kids feel when they are singled out for bad treatment. It is not OK. My babysitter was an occasional Saturday night babysitter and she had that much of an effect on me. Imagine how somebody younger feels when it is an everyday all day occurance with a full time nanny!
Mom, Your story is so sad! Even casual caregivers have such power over us!
ReplyDeleteMPP, the working jaw thing is a lovely characteristic that is shared by many tweekers. It's often one of the dead-give aways.
NannyJ, I'm saddened by all the boy sightings too. Both of my kids are really awesome, but it so happens that Jack (who is now 15, and a 6'2", 240# football lineman) happens to be my more sensitive child. His 12 year old sister is a little tougher by nature. There were plenty of people, including their father, who thought we should "toughen him up," when his sensitive side would show, but I wouldn't hear of it. He's turned out to have a fantastic tough side, which is also very nicely balanced by his sensitive side. Just don't expect any mercy on the football field. ;-)
Jack's mom,
ReplyDeleteI have one just like your son too. He's very laid back and unbelievably compassionate. He's a high level black belt in karate who would never willingly hurt a fly...but watch out if you mess with his sister, his girlfriend, or his family. He's a quiet leader, never the center of attention, but very well respected by his peers. I couldn't ask for anything more from or for him...and if he were to "toughen up" he would not be the same wonderful person that he is.
I never understood that "toughen them up" mentality. I think our job as parents is to figure out who our children ARE first, and help them develop their natural strengths...not ignore their natural personalities and mold them all into one "ideal" mold of what we wish they were, or think they ought ot be instead.
In one of the families that I work for, the father, who is in the airforce, recently returned from a deployment. I haven't seen him interact with the kids too much, but I get a very distinct impression that in his eyes his 3 year old daughter can do no wrong, and his 1 year old son needs to toughen up and "be smarter." When the little guy tripped going through the door recently, instead of comforting him the father told him that he needed to be smarter and learn how to walk and to toughen up. The mom (talking for the son) said "aw but Dad I'm only 1 years old!" and he was like "he's 1 and a half..."
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't that bad, and he didn't use a very harsh tone or anything, and I think that for the most part the guy is a good dad, but pretty much every time I have seen them interact there have been similar situations. I fear a for when this sweet little guy gets older...
Oh, NannyJ, that makes me so sad. It just doesn't have to be that way! It just flashed on me, though... maybe it's that kind of dynamic that sets up the behavior we read about in the Lawrence Hall of Science post - where the big sister beats up on the little brother.
ReplyDeleteMom, I could have written your post. I kept nodding my head & saying, "exactly!" - both on the description of your son and your approach.
nannyJ,
ReplyDeleteThat is so sad for that boy. The tone doesn't have to be ugly for it to hurt...especially if it is a common theme for dad to make comments that insinuate that the little guy just "doesn't measure up." It will destroy the boy just as thorougally as it would if he yelled those things at him instead of saying them softly.
JacksMom,
It's like a "secret club' having such a child, isn't it? Because you can only understand completely if you actually have one. My husband and I frequently remarked even when this one child was a toddler that he must have been a priest in a former life (not that I necessarily believe in such things)...because somehow, without our teaching him some of these things, he seemed to be a deeper and better person than either of us were. When I would go up to the school, I heard many times form staff and teachers things to the effect of, "All of your kids are wonderful, but...there's sooooomething special about the youngest boy. He's just a joy to be near, and he seems so much wiser than his years." (Same theme, different words, over and over again. Nobody could put it into words, although we all understood what was trying to be conveyed.) Once a friend of my MILs, uppon meeting my children, looked at the one boy and said, "That one is a very old soul." Again, I'm not sure what to think, but this boy has always been different. Imagine if I had tried to "Boy him up." How awful it would have been to make such a good person think he was not just perfect just the way he was!
The nanny's playing out an unhealthy scenario--probably from her own childhood. Unfortunately, everyone brings their baggage to how they raise children...whehter they're the nanny, or the parent. Good post, OP. I hope the parents see it.
ReplyDelete