I've been a nanny for twin girls since they came home from the hospital last year and recently was laid off by my employer due to a change with her own work situation. I'm parting on extremely friendly and good terms with the family and they've been very helpful with trying to find me a new nanny job. I set up as many interviews as possible and within two weeks I had 4 great offers on the table to choose from. It was a very difficult decision for me to make, but I went ahead and accepted one on Monday, after going for a return interview with said family on Sunday afternoon. I had originally met with this family earlier in the week, they had offered me the job immediately, contingent on how the return interview went. They wanted to make sure I was comfortable with their children, and I really felt like we clicked. They seemed really enthused and happy that I had accepted the position and kept telling me how great I was and that I was their top choice of all the people they had met with.The next night however, I received a phone call from the father, which began with him telling me he had some bad news. He went on to tell me that they felt that their 3 year old had become too attached to the woman they had helping them temporarily and wouldn't want to cause her any more stress, trauma or confusion by changing caregivers. He continued by saying that he really didn't want to have to make this decision, and that I really was their dream nanny and he really wished that they could employ me, but he just couldn't put his daughter through that situation, but was sure that I'd get snatched up by another family within days and wished me the best of luck, then hung up.
I'm totally flabbergasted that something like this could happen - and not that I don't sympathize, but I don't think the "trauma" to their daughter would be anything significant. To make matters worse, the other families that had offered me positions are either not interested in hiring me now, or found another nanny once I turned down their offer. Friday is my last day working with my current family, and after that, I'm up the creek without a paddle. The nanny market (at least in this area - North NJ) has been extremely difficult and I fear that I won't be able to find anything. I feel that what the new family did to me is absolutely horrible and there should be some sort of recourse I can take because of the damages they have caused me!
Well it is wrong but there really isn't anything you can do but move on. Yes they handled it wrong, and yes they should at least offer to pay you for 2 weeks to help you out but that isn't going to happen so your best bet is to start hitting the pavement and forget them.
ReplyDeleteGood nannies are hard to come by so I bet you'll find a great family soon.
OMG! I would be so mad, too. I totally sympathize with you OP, but there probably isn't much by way of recourse for you. These things happen, it's part of life.
ReplyDeleteJust try and get back out there as quick as you can and set up some more interviews. Hopefully another good job will come by as easily as the 4 offers that you had. Just remain positive!
i would be mad to but theres not much that you can do. sorry.
ReplyDeleteEverybody here said the same thing and they are right.
ReplyDeleteIt was mean, but there is no legal recourse.
If you had four offers on the table you are obviously a desirable candidate and will be one of those who will be able to find another job.
Best of luck!
When familys hire me, I usually make them pay me 2 weeks in advance, that is non refundible. If they choose not to hire me after they initially hired me well then they are out 2 weeks pay.
ReplyDeleteNannyp--
ReplyDeleteLove that tip!
Similarly to nannyp, I always try to sign a contract right when I accept a position--definitely before I turn down any other offers. That is the best way to avoid these situations. Of course, it never crosses your mind until after you get screwed, but at least now you know how to protect yourself.
ReplyDeleteGood Luck!
I would be so irritated! Sorry this happened to you. I would definitely given him a piece of my mind when he called you to tell you the bad news. Even though there is nothing you can do for this situation, it would have been good to make them realize that they should have thought about this before they interviewed and offered a position. What careless people.
ReplyDeleteI have been in this situation many times before...my question is....did you meet this family from Craigslist? I don't know why, but I use CL to find jobs and have had people have the same stories after they hire me. Again, I do not know what it is about CL either.
ReplyDeleteIt is too bad what happened to you and legally you have no recourse. The idea about signing a nanny contract before you turn down the other jobs is an excellent idea, one I may choose to do in the future!
Best of luck OP.
When did this become WhinyNanny.com??
ReplyDeleteOh and Nannyp: I seriously doubt you charge them 2 weeks up front. You might as well wear a sign that says "Don't hire me"
Nope. Not a thing you can do, OP. But I definitely feel for you. What this employer did was rotten!
ReplyDeleteI'm a rude ass bitch, so I'm tempted just to say shit happens - deal. But I do feel sorry for you a bit in my bitter cold heart.
ReplyDeleteCrazy Cat Lady,
ReplyDeleteis that really you?
OP, this sucks. I'm not clear, did they make you an offer, AND you accepted, but before you were due to start, they withdrew the offer? It almost seems like if that's the case there might be some recourse, but it's a long shot.
ReplyDeleteWhat I think you still could do however, is to call them back, and just explain in enough detail that there is no doubt for them, that you did turn down 3 OTHER OFFERS to accept theirs, and that at this stage of the game, the other offers have been withdrawn, all due to THEIR change of plans, and you are in a serious bind. Not to try and extract any money from them, but since this really screws you, I'd say it's fair to make them feel sufficiently guilty about it. They may not realize that this caused you to lose out on other employment, and may just be flaky rather than dishonest. And if it was dishonesty on their part, all the better reason to make them feel as guilty as possible.
Cali mom makes good sense. But don't yell at them or be nasty. They'll just get defensive and ugly then...and probably think they are glad that they passed on you. Nicely explain that what they did really put you in a tough spot. Don't take money from them. But maybe next time they will think about how their actions affect other people besides themselves....especially if you seem to be a sweet person and they are sorry to have hurt you. They might not even realize what they have done to you.
ReplyDeleteOP here.
ReplyDeleteCali mom- yes, that's exactly what happened. I met with them the first time on a Monday evening, then Tuesday morning they called and made me an offer, followed by an email confirming the offer. They asked me to come back Sunday before I made a final decision, to spend time with the children. Monday I called them back to formally accept the job and we confirmed all the details and set a start date. They were supposed to be sending me a copy of the contract to my email the next day, instead I get a phone call from the father telling me that they changed their mind because all of a sudden, they realized that their 3 year old was too attached to their temporary help and that it would traumatize her to separate them. They had an entire week to change their minds about this - but they suddenly make the realization the day after I accept the position and turn down all of my other offers? It seems a little fishy to me.
Mama Snail - the reason I feel that they were over exaggerating about the "trauma" is because their 3 year old warmed up to me and we had a lot of fun both times I went to their house prior to accepting the position. She even ran up to me and gave me a hug the second time I went to the house for my "trial run" before officially accepting the job. She really seemed to like me a lot and didn't want me to leave their house that afternoon when it was time for me to go.
OP, I asked my husband about this this morning. He gave me a long explanation about various forms of breaches in contracts and how some invalidate the entire contract and how some contracts are still generally enforcible, except for the specifically illegal parts.
ReplyDeleteHe thinks that if you had the contract in hand, a judge may well order the employer to pay you for the additional two weeks (as long as three weeks severance was called for per the contract), but that you would both be on the hook for the taxes you both didn't pay. The penalty could range from paying the back taxes to prosecution for tax fraud, at the discretion of the courts and the IRS.
He said he says all of this assimong that neither of you was stuid enough to put into writing in the contract that you were being paid off the books. If that's in there, you and your employer can both hope it never sees the the inside of a courtroom.
Oops. Wrong thread. Wrong nanny problem! I'll repost in the right spot.
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ReplyDeleteYou accepted an offer on Day 1 (and presumably told the other families you won't be taking their offers at that point). The family reneged on the offer on Day 2. Are you saying the three other families all found someone else in that 24 hours? I call BS.
ReplyDeleteAnd sorry, I don't think the family owes you anything. They interrupted your job search for 24 hours. The job market sucks, but it's not the family's fault.
Yes, I do require 2 weeks pay, Its called a holding fee basically. Most jobs dont start right away. I tell the familys up front that i charge them 2 weeks pay and expect a check or cash when we sign the contract, If after we sign the contract they choose not to hire me the money is mine to keep. If they choose to hire me, then the money they gave me initally it deducted from my first 2 months pay. Most familys do not have a problem with doing this, It is assurance for me and for them, it tells me I wont be up shit creek if they suddenly choose not to hire me and it tells them, i wont go and find another job instead of the one they offered me till my contract is up.
ReplyDeleteDifferent situation, but I took a casual job babysitting for a different family than the one I work FT for... I have babysat for this woman a number of times - we agree on $50 an hour 5 kids x 6 hours. I have numerous other job offers for NYE, but I turn them down. 2 days before NYE this woman cancels IN A TEXT MESSAGE.
ReplyDeleteSo annoying. I couldn't get another NYE job, and so was basically out of pocket $300.
Oh wow what a wimp that dad is! That is so wrong for them to lead you on like that for a pretty rediculous reason. You should write them a letter at least. It will make you feel better.
ReplyDeleteNanny P you are awesome.