Nanny Loathes The Inconsistency - By Heather

Received Sunday, November 2, 2008. - Rant
When my I joined my family for dinner out and was enjoying a french onion soup, my employer taught me that the proper way to eat soup is to dip your spoon away from your body. During the same meal, she blew her nose..on her napkin...and then unfolded the napkin briefly to examine the discharge before returning the napkin to her lap. I said nothing.

When I took this job, my employer stressed to me the importance of making healthy meals. I was in charge of grocering and purchased healthy meats and vegetables which I dutifully prepared. After the first week, my employer informed me with hands on her hips, "X is four years old, he's not going to eat broccoli without a cheese dip on top". She also balked at the grilled chicken I made and suggested that the next time I try rolling chicken breasts in flour and frying it, "you know", she said, "give him something he can eat".

My seven year old charge got in trouble at school for saying something unkind about another child. Her mother exasperatedly told her, "X, you know better than that. If you don't have something nice to say about someone, don't say anything". She then took away her PS3 for a week. A half hour later, I was helping the seven year old take pictures of her puppy while her mother was on the phone talking in detail about one of the seven year old's close friend's mothers who had some plastic surgery done and now had cat eyes. My employer suggested to her friend on the phone that the poor woman was just competing with all the 'waitresses on wall street he schtoops on his lunch hour".

Two weeks past, my seven year old charge went through her toys looking for some toys to give away having heard about an upcoming toy drive. Her mother stood at the door of the playroom and asked her "what all the racket was". After the seven year old explained what she was doing, her mother/my employer announced, "You're not giving any of this stuff away, X. This stuff costs money". The next Monday, my employer left me a note instructing me to photograph a pile of toys that she had compiled in the playroom. Following that, she left me two type written pages about how to put the stuff on ebay. On Ebay! Did I mention that I work in a home that was purchased two years ago for six million dollars?

A month ago, my employer asked me to take her daughter shopping for boots. We came home with three pair. One pair were a reddish brown suede and came to just below her knee. My employer looked at the boots and said, "Oh for the prostitute in training..." and wrinkled her nose up with disgust. Yet on Halloween, she helped her daughter dress up as a sexy devil. A sexy seven year old devil? Sexy?? Red tights, red long skirt with slit....

I am slated to start work at 830 every day. I work for a SAHM. I arrive at work most days between 825-830. On the rare occasion, I arrive between 830-835, Each time that has happened, my employer greets me by staring at the clock. Yet, although I am working for a stay at home mother of two, with a full time housekeeper, mind you- she is hard pressed to let me out the door by 5:30. She becomes instantly frazzled and starts running around like a chicken with her head cut off. If only she had done something during the previous eight hours to ready herself for that impossible 45 minutes between the time I, the nanny, leave and her husband returns exhausted from his day of work.

My employer has me give the youngest a bath. It still works in to our day that I have time to do this, usually in the morning. My employer is adamant that rain or snow or sickness never impede my ability to get the three year old bathed and dressed. Yet, I will return from the weekend to find that the child has not been bathed all weekend.

When I began this job, my youngest charge was sucking on a pacifier. It was one of the first child related questions I had for the employers, "do you have a desire to get X off the pacifier". I had asked and she, my employer had assured me, "yes, we've been working on it. Our last sitter wasn't so good with that sort of thing, but we're counting on you to be consistent. Okay, that I could do. And did. But every Monday morning it is a screaming piss fight to separate X from her "bubby".

Can I live with the inconsistency? I do. I make more than any of my nanny peers and have a decent schedule. Complaints? I have a few. I will leave you with one of my biggest complaints. As the nanny, I take either child anywhere they need to go, I am home when flowers are delivered or when the cable guy comes. My employer is very generous when it comes to tipping, but she doesn't believe in leaving money for me, the nanny, to tip service people. This includes when I take the seven year old to get her hair cut. Why? My employer answered my query with this, " when I tip someone, they appreciate it, they know it is coming from me, but what good is it for you to hand out my money?" Do you know how awkward I feel when delivery people come and go? They arrive at this luxury home on a lake and get nothing. Frustrating. Indeed.