Received Monday, November 24, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
Is there a way to ask for more days off? I need to hear from moms especially on this one. I have been working for a family about 47.5 hours a week for the past two years and four months. They have three kids but I only have the youngest of them most of the time, and the other two just after school. (I used to watch the middle one three days a week before she started Kindergarten).
I love my job and the people are very polite and pleasant, and the kids are well-behaved and very sweet. Pay is okay? I think. (620 per week - includes gas). But I have been feeling kind of burnt out lately. I have one night class, my husband and I run a business, and I am moving as well so I am extra exhausted. I feel like I need to work less hours or get more paid days off. Right now I get Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Day, New Years Day, Memorial Day, Fourth of July and Labor Day. If I take a sick day or have a doctor's appt. I still get paid, but I need to make up the time by babysitting in the evening or on the weekend. So, here's what I want. I really want the Friday after Thanksgiving, and the days between Christmas and New Year's off and paid for. I also want sick days that I don't have to make up by babysitting at night or on the weekend. I also want any days that they choose to go away on vacation to be covered without me having to make up that time or come in and organize the house.
I do feel that a nanny who can't afford to go anywhere on vacation should at least get to relax and refresh while the family is away. The problem is, since I started the job the family has already given me more days off benefits than when I started. It used to be that I didn't get paid when they went on vacation. (Now I get paid but I have to do light-medium work around the house while they are gone). So, I think that asking for more is going to be a major stretch for them. I also feel like a major dum dum for even agreeing to the current situation and acting like it was okay. Now I am in a real mess because it would seem like I was really asking for a lot and I don't want to p them off. So I ask you moms, what would be the best way for your nanny to ask for more holidays off if you felt like you were already being fair? I also already committed to them until March 15! I don't know if I will last that long!
Im a nanny and I don't think its fair for you to ask for more.
ReplyDeleteYour reasons for being worn out are unrelated to your professional life with them. How would you feel if they were like "Excuse me but I think you should maybe give your business at a home a break and pack a few less boxes a day."
March isn't that far away, just stick it out. They sound like they will give you a sweet christmas bonus.
I think if you have zero vacation time you have a right to ask for some. Say something like "when I signed up for this job I thought I would be fine without a vacation - but I realize I am starting to burn out and want to provide the best care for your child. I think if we worked some vacation time into our schedules I would feel refreshed and provide the best care I can. How about the time between Christmas and New years?"
ReplyDeleteMost jobs give you paid vacation after a year. Wait until your contract renewal time at the end of the year and negotiate those things into your contract for next year.
ReplyDeleteMom, I can only speak from my experience and that of my friends and family, but I've never heard of anyone taking a job that didn't provide vacation time during the first year. Usually there is a period of time in which you cannot take vacation, usually about 3 months. I have never heard of someone having to wait a year for their vacation, not in publishing, PR, childcare, teaching or office administration (those are the industries I have experience with).
ReplyDeleteYou have been working for them for several years and you don't think you can make it to the commitment date of March 15? Why is March 15 a magic date? Is it contract negoiations, are they moving, are you quitting? Be careful of what you ask for - If they give you more time off they will have to hire someone to pick up your slack and before you know it you may outsource yourself out of a job. Of course, this family may like you and not realize the stress you are under and be willing to work with you. You never know until you talk to your employer, however, I would balk at paying you NOT to show up when we have already agreed you would work.
ReplyDeleteYikes. Not having paid vacation and/or sick days is outrageous. Not having any when you've been there over 2 years is, I dunno, really shameful on your employers part. Great way for them to cultivate resentment in the person with whom they entrust their children. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteThis bit about "If I take a sick day or have a doctor's appt. I still get paid, but I need to make up the time by babysitting in the evening or on the weekend." really irks me. You're not "still getting paid", you're not getting any sick time, you're having to make up the time. Sheeesh, even burger flippers at McDonalds get paid sick and vacation if they are full time.
I don't have any advice for your question of "what would be the best way for your nanny to ask for more holidays off if you felt like you were already being fair?" because it's just too mind-boggling that they actually think they are being fair already.
personal ranty nonsense follows:
I used to work in an office and when my mother died I started to see a counselor for a few months. My appointments were on Wednesday at 330 pm, and I went to the owner and asked if I could arrange to have that 1.5 hours unpaid on Weds to go to the appt and then go home afterward. He said no, but I could go at 339 if I came back after and stayed late on those days to make up the time.
Turned out that was kind of like torture, after the counseling appointments I was emotionally drained/sad/grieving and having to go back and stay late really rubbed me the wrong way (basically I'd sit in the office doing nothing because I could do my own work in 30 hours a week, and on those late nights, the other people I helped when I wasn't busy weren't there)
It kept rubbing me the wrong way, a bunch of minor things all added up to show me that I was not really valued. Yeah, a lot of it had to do with the fact that I was back at work only 2 days after my mom passed, and that I had worked while she was sick and lost some irreplacable time with my mom (cancer 17 days from diagnosis to death) and the 2 bosses never even bothered to say sorry or condolences or anything.
ok, putting my bitterness back into silent mode now.
Op here,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice.
Heygirlhey, I actually didn't get a Christmas bonus last year. Maybe this year I will get something but I am not sure if it will be big.
Not a mom...that sounds good - I will probably try to use that.
Mom, thanks but i have already been hear a year and four months - did you mean at my 2 year renewal? I guess it's worth a shot.
Anne, March 15 is my two year point. I committed to stay until then. I do think you have a good point about being replaced.
Emily, I agree because I was in PR and this is my first job without any holiday break.
Call in blind, OH My! That was a bad situation you were in. The way you feel about my sit is kind of what my nanny friends keep telling me. Maybe you're right.
I have 3 kids, two of which are in school most of the day and a full-time nanny. The arrangement with your sick and vacation time is not anything I've ever heard of. Nannies in my neighborhood either have a set number of sick days or the type of arrangement I have with my nanny. I told her when she started she can take sick or personal days here and there as needed and get paid, but if it ends up she is taking more than a few days a month unplanned that requires my husband or I to miss work unexpectedly, we will re-examine if this arrangement works. Our nanny is very conscientious about not leaving us in a lurch, and we really appreciate that and it does work. She's never taken advantage of us--she's only taken 3 sick days and 2 full personal days this year and she lets us know if she has an event she wants to plan her work day around (like a show at her kids' shcool or conference) and I'll work from home so she can take a few hours off, come in late or leave early for it.
ReplyDeleteAs for vacation and holidays, I give two weeks vacation annually, which was pro-rated the first year and 12 paid holidays a year (which is what I am given by my employer). That seems fairly standard in my neighborhood. Some of my neighbors give 3 weeks, but only 5 holidays.
I did have an experience with my nanny where we had to adjust hours. My nanny needed to spend more time with her family and dropped hints here and there, but never came out and directly said she needed to get home earlier. It was only when she got to the point and told me that her long hours were no longer working for her that we were able to work out a better arrangement. We ended up cutting her hours (it did involve a cut in her weekly pay--her per hour rate ended up higher than before, but since she wanted to work 8 hours less a week, it basically put her weekly check back to what she was making before her last raise) and we hired a a local college student as a babysitter to bridge between the end of her day and when I could get home from work. Our weekly childcare cost went up, but my nanny (who is excellent with the kids and we really like) is much happier and just when she is pooping out towards the end of the day and after my oldest two come home, in comes her relief.
As for when employers go on vacation, what happens with nanny seems to vary ALOT. I've heard of your arrangement as well as the ideas of "comp time"-switching childcare hours-among my neighbors. My approach has been that my nanny is a weekly salaried employee, if I have no need for the childcare because of my own schedule, she gets paid. However, that is not the approach I take with the babysitter since she is an hourly employee and only gets paid for the hours she works. Personally, I would think the light work while still getting paid for not having to care for the kids is reasonable as long as you are getting full pay and they are not asking you to perform tasks outside of your normal job description.
The most important thing is to talk to your employer with a set of prioritized and negotiable requests. If all you want is paid vacations and holidays, you are asking for something that is fairly standard. If you want to not have to do "comp time" for sick time--that's also reasonable. After all, if you are recovering from an illness, the last thing you need is to be working more hours. If you really want to renogotiate your work week, that's a little trickier. Make sure it's not just a temporary thing that you want a shorter week--after all, you aren't permanently moving. 47 hours is not that long a day for a nanny unless your employers work jobs that have a short day or no commute. Personally, I would not have been receptive to my nanny wanting to cut her hours in order to work another job (your at home business), but understood her need to spend more time with her kids in the evening (I feel that way myself). Be prepared to get paid less since you would be working less hours. And, if your employers need to hire a second person, there would be an additional cost to them, and they may not be willing or able to find someone for a few hours a day.
Call in sick with crabs. They won't ask any more questions.
ReplyDeleteOops OP, I must have misread. I htought you had been there almost ONE year...in which case waiting until March seemed like a very simple, non-awkward time to broach teh subject without the possibility of upsetting the apple cart.
ReplyDeleteWhenever you renew oyur contract, I owuld be sure to get paid vacation...and sine it's been two years instead of one, you should ask for two weeks paid. I have seen other nannies here upset that the family chose the vacation time for nanny based on their own vacation schedule...so oyu might want to be very clear on that issue as well...not to mention whether you will still be paid during their vacation times. In other words, it sounds like time to get a lot more specific in the details of your contract...which I think still might be best to do at a natural time, like the two year mark. If you currently have NO contract, I think it might be OK to ask for one immediately and het this all spelled out now.
I get a week off for Thanksgiving, 2 weeks for Christmas plus any other major holiday. AND it's all paid.
ReplyDeleteWhen they go on vacation (which is about once a month) I get paid my full amount minus gas money (totally acceptable)
I get sick pay (I've been fortunate to only use 1 day in the 14 months I've worked for them) and there have been 2 occasions where I have asked off and she has given it to me and still paid me my full amount.
I also do not have to make up time. If I babysit on the weekends or later than usual during the week I get paid extra for that.
You are not in the wrong at all to ask for more paid time off, in fact I think it's perfectly reasonable, even walmart has benefits and I'm sure so do their employers so you should be treated the same
IMO, there is a big difference between what benefits she "should" get (because other nannies get them) and what benefits she has already agreed to. Sorry OP, but I think you'd be completely unreasonable to come in after agreeing to the job and benefits you currently have and inform your employers that for PERSONAL reasons and because other people get more benefits than you, you'd like more. That would be like them coming to you and saying "sorry, but we've come to realize lately that we are real slobs, and we really need you to do some dishes and clean our toilets for us. Besides, the Jones' nanny does all that and gets paid less than you". Especially after they have already given you more paid time off than you all agreed to.
ReplyDeleteYou could appeoach them about it but if I had an employee who made that request, I'd start thinking seriously about whether or not I wanted to renew their contract when the time came. All you can reasonably do at this point is ask to reduce your hours in exchange for less pay, and try to negotiate different terms next time your contract comes up.
I think it is weird that you don't have actual vacation time and maybe I would ask for that. I also think it is weird you don't have at least three sick days. I just think there are times you are going to be sick and need to go to the doctor and most jobs have those built it.
ReplyDeleteOP here, Thanks for all advice. I did talk to my boss today and we worked out a compromise for the holidays.
ReplyDelete(I didn't actually want to reduce my hours - somehow I accidentally gave that impression.I just wanted some paid holidays mostly)
We both also decided that in the new year we should start discusisng the future and me moving on to my next position, and her finding replacement childcare.
I am confident I will get the benefits I want at my next job, and I won't be a dumbhead and go in without a good contract!
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ReplyDeleteBe glad you are leaving OP. You had an ass for an employer if she wants to get another nanny because she doesn't want to pay you for sick time and vacation time. She must have known that she was taking advantage of you the entire time.
ReplyDeleteReally???,
ReplyDeleteYou make an EXCELLENT point. Shame on her! She's going to go shop for somebody else who will let her take advantage of them rather than treat the nanny decently who has served her well, and who her child has grown accustomed to.
OP be glad you're leaving. She didn't respect you...obviously.
she's going to do daycare instead because it's half the price.
ReplyDeletei think that will suit her financial needs much better.
but if the child is absent because the family is on vacation, she will STILL have to pay the preschool.
OP,
ReplyDeleteMy mistake. I apologize.