At the Village Park here in Northport, I witnessed an older nanny-over 60 nanny grab and pull at a girl's hair to punish her and get her attention. This occured yesterday, (6/2-Monday at approximately 3:45 PM). The nanny was wearing polyester slacks with lines on them, a button up print blouse largely of yellow and blue and she had a dark complexion and wore plastic, purple triangle earrings. I don't know the ethnicity of the nanny. The child was 3 or 4 and had an accent that I believe was French. The child was playing with a book that had an attached pen, holding it and writing or pretending to write and the nanny approached her and asked her a question. The child responded with a sharp answer and the nanny yanked at her hair. She grabbed a handful right behind the girls ear. The girl did not cry but looked super scared. The nanny said something else. The girl did not respond this time, but had her head down. The nanny reached down and grabbed the girls hair and pulled her head up. The woman was grabbing her this time from the back of the head and pulling up and I could tell it hurt the little girl but she was trying not to look up. Finally she reached her hand up and said, "stop hurting me". The nanny stuck her pointer finger out at the girl and said, 'bad, bad, bad'. Then the nanny turns around and walks back towards where I am standing. I am glaring at her, but she looks right past me. I know, I should have confronted her. I didn't. I wish I had. I can't go back in time, but I hope someone knows who this girl is and who the nanny is. The little girl has a pale face, brown hair and was wearing a shirt with a puppy dog on it. The puppy on the shirt had a real bow on it where the collar would be.
Tuesday
Village Park in Northport, NY
Received Tuesday, June 3, 2008
At the Village Park here in Northport, I witnessed an older nanny-over 60 nanny grab and pull at a girl's hair to punish her and get her attention. This occured yesterday, (6/2-Monday at approximately 3:45 PM). The nanny was wearing polyester slacks with lines on them, a button up print blouse largely of yellow and blue and she had a dark complexion and wore plastic, purple triangle earrings. I don't know the ethnicity of the nanny. The child was 3 or 4 and had an accent that I believe was French. The child was playing with a book that had an attached pen, holding it and writing or pretending to write and the nanny approached her and asked her a question. The child responded with a sharp answer and the nanny yanked at her hair. She grabbed a handful right behind the girls ear. The girl did not cry but looked super scared. The nanny said something else. The girl did not respond this time, but had her head down. The nanny reached down and grabbed the girls hair and pulled her head up. The woman was grabbing her this time from the back of the head and pulling up and I could tell it hurt the little girl but she was trying not to look up. Finally she reached her hand up and said, "stop hurting me". The nanny stuck her pointer finger out at the girl and said, 'bad, bad, bad'. Then the nanny turns around and walks back towards where I am standing. I am glaring at her, but she looks right past me. I know, I should have confronted her. I didn't. I wish I had. I can't go back in time, but I hope someone knows who this girl is and who the nanny is. The little girl has a pale face, brown hair and was wearing a shirt with a puppy dog on it. The puppy on the shirt had a real bow on it where the collar would be.
At the Village Park here in Northport, I witnessed an older nanny-over 60 nanny grab and pull at a girl's hair to punish her and get her attention. This occured yesterday, (6/2-Monday at approximately 3:45 PM). The nanny was wearing polyester slacks with lines on them, a button up print blouse largely of yellow and blue and she had a dark complexion and wore plastic, purple triangle earrings. I don't know the ethnicity of the nanny. The child was 3 or 4 and had an accent that I believe was French. The child was playing with a book that had an attached pen, holding it and writing or pretending to write and the nanny approached her and asked her a question. The child responded with a sharp answer and the nanny yanked at her hair. She grabbed a handful right behind the girls ear. The girl did not cry but looked super scared. The nanny said something else. The girl did not respond this time, but had her head down. The nanny reached down and grabbed the girls hair and pulled her head up. The woman was grabbing her this time from the back of the head and pulling up and I could tell it hurt the little girl but she was trying not to look up. Finally she reached her hand up and said, "stop hurting me". The nanny stuck her pointer finger out at the girl and said, 'bad, bad, bad'. Then the nanny turns around and walks back towards where I am standing. I am glaring at her, but she looks right past me. I know, I should have confronted her. I didn't. I wish I had. I can't go back in time, but I hope someone knows who this girl is and who the nanny is. The little girl has a pale face, brown hair and was wearing a shirt with a puppy dog on it. The puppy on the shirt had a real bow on it where the collar would be.
1. The child was a preschooler, and preschoolers love to pretend to "write", when in reality, all they are is doodling, which is a great activity for fine motor skills, and helps with letter recognition, along with other skills.
ReplyDelete2. Preschoolers will say things that may sound inappropriate to adults, but they think they are funny, only because of the stage of development they are in. A favorite of this age is poopy talk, and this age group repeats things, and does things just to do them. They like how it sounds, how it looks, and in this case, I really don't think this child was talking in a "sharp tone". She's a preschooler! She doesn't know what a "sharp tone" is!
3. We can go on and on about how the nanny may be a member of the child's family, only we don't know. Either way, this person had no reason to the pull the hair of this child. Gee, if the caregiver bit the child, what do you think the child would do? Bite other people. I wonder if this child will start pulling hair now?
I say we let the child pull the nanny's hair and bite her and let the nanny see what that feels like. Eeeeeeeeek! The attack of the mean nanny. Why do I picture this woman to be like the grandmother in "Flowers In The Attic?"
Have a great week everyone! Hopefully I'll see ya in a few days!! Jane, where are those ISYN tee shirts?
By the hair? What a witch.
ReplyDeleteWhy, oh why, do ppl work with kids if they have no patience? I would have pulled her hair to see how she likes it.
ReplyDeleteboy this could have happened here in my town...I moved here 6 yrs ago and after a day out shopping came home in shock!!
ReplyDeleteI live in a predominantly Mexican town...
I have been told that this is a cultural thing..I will admit it was a huge culture shock when I moved here.
While shopping,I witnessed small children being pulled by the ears, braids, arms and hair. I had to ask my husband what"ky-etay" (obviously spelled wrong)meant..
it is a Spanish word meaning "shut-up"
He asked why with a grin..he already knew my answer.."this is what the parents were yelling at their children in every store I went into"
This is how he was raised and this is how his brother is raising his kids.
They also flick their kids in the head
I was never told to shut up nor pulled by the hair so I do not understand it.
Different culture treat children different.
well, I invite you all to come shop for a day here in Salinas ,Calfornia.
ReplyDeleteWhat the OP described is typical of what I see every time I go to the store or out to eat, only we are lucky enough to have shouting too.
I'm glad that nobody has yet said something like, "This is just as much your fault because you didn't say anything." I get so sick of hearing that stuff. It's not an outsiders responsibility to be sure your nanny is doing the right thing while you sit at your office and have no clue.
ReplyDeletesarah, you are right!
ReplyDeletebut hold on because you are really in for it now girlie!!
hope you brought your boots cause the shit will surely hit the fan soon!
I agree with you Sarah to a point. The parents need to know what kind of person their nanny REALLY is. I wouldn't want this woman taking care of my kids, but it was good that the OP wrote of the incident in the hopes that this nanny might be 'outed' and fired because she shouldn't be a nanny. Confronting the nanny or not does not resolve the problem, at least the long term problem, and the willingness to do that seems to depend on the person who observed the bad nanny (or other childcare person). Some have intervened. Others have not, but thankfully, they took the time and made the effort to report the bad sighting.
ReplyDeleteSprak? Is that really you??
ReplyDeleteYou're so ....... wonderful tonite!
I am really digging this thoughtful side of you!
I hope you didn't lock the old Sprak up in a closet somewhere!
I think I'd miss her eventually!
I don't approve of grandparents or parents who slap or 'flick' their children, but this is a nanny. If the barista at Starbucks didn't answer me fast enough and I reached over and did that to her, what would happen to me? The police would be called. It would be assault. Where are the children's rights?
ReplyDeletejennifer stop picking on nannies...its not right for anyone to pulla kid by the hair or ears..it is not right for anyone to flick a kid in the head..nanny or parent..you are a ridiculous poster..always making excuses for mom & dad and ripping the nanny a new one!
ReplyDeleteI can tell by your post you are a flicker!!
What are you talking about 10:33?
ReplyDeleteShe is saying when you hit, pull hair of an adult, it is assault but when it is a child, it's what?
Discipline?
Wrong.
It should be assault too!
This sounds more like how I have seen Grandmothers, particualrly ones forced into service, treat kids.
ReplyDeleteThis also could be the way the woman deals with things because of her age. My mother, of that generation, was a hair puller, slap where she could reach type woman.
Whatever the case, it's wrong.
7:23
ReplyDeleteYou are so lucky that your husband sees the error of how he was raised and does not treat your children the way his brother treats his. Give him th ebig hug he deserves for being a Great Dad!
Missdee, you are so right about three year olds. My son and his friend, at three, decide to make a "club," which they named, "The PeePee PooPoo Weiner and Butt Club." Luckily that was my second son so I realized it was a short, passing phase. The other boy's mom (he was her first) became quite enraged.
Lastly, fire that horrible hair pulling nanny! What a Witch...with a B!
sb and your damn moniker is too long, I understand the "assaul" issue of her post and in fact did not address that part of her post because I agree with it.
ReplyDeleteWhat I adressed was the( and she ALWAYS does this, yes, even after a long absence) "I don't approve of a grand parent or parent flicking a kid ,*and here is my problem***BUT this was a nanny!"
Look SB, either its okay or its not and you know what..does not matter if it is a mommy or a nanny..pulling a kid by the hair or ears or flicking a kid in the face or head is wrong period and shows little if any education or class!
I love Steve
ReplyDelete"Northern lights"? The 'kind' I'm thinking of?
that's just vile. the one time i called the police on a parent/caregiver (i have no idea which) was when i witnessed some hag at the beach repeatedly pulling a little girls hair really, really hard.
ReplyDeletedifferent cultures do indeeed treat children different.
ReplyDeleteMh husband was /is called "gordie" by his family.
When we met he introduced himself as"Jorge"
His family was angry that I called him "jorge"
It is how he introduced himself and what he expected me to call him.
Once I found out what "gordie" meant..I would NEVER have called him that anyhow.
It is a term meaning"fattie.. or little fattie for a boy and Gorda for a girl.
There is a reason my husband introduces himself by his name and not "gordie"
Don't people get it?
How cruel!
I would have curled up and died if my parents ever called me fattie .
no making excuses because of cultural differences..fattie translates to fattie in any language !!
ReplyDeleteIntense video, but very informative.
ReplyDelete~ MPP
I worked as a ft nanny for a women with two sets of twins, 11 moths apart.
ReplyDeleteShe also had a night time nanny who called the babies "gorditas"
she always told them they were fat and lazy.
I hated it. Mom was not offended.
Could you imagine the looks I would get if when out in public I said to my daughter"come here fatso" "oh you are so lazy"
I am continually told it is okay..they are terms of indearment.
If I were to pull my kids hair and ears and call him a fattie, they would take him away until I could prove myself a fit mom..but if my skin were darker..it would be okay because it is a cultural thing!
what gives??
11:16,
ReplyDeleteYou are really dense.
What Jen and SB are saying is, if an adult hits and adult it's assault, why is it okay for an adult to hit a child. A tiny child? It should be assault too!
It should not be explained away as a discplinary tool!
Am I right?
hey samjones..no need to be so rude! You and your clan have made your point!
ReplyDeleteI really can't figure out WHAT Jennifer Lecarlo is implying with that post (11:52)...I'm with you, 11:16. It was worded awkwardly I guess. It was the firt sentence that threw me..if she was arguing that assault is assault, regardless of age, what did the parents/grandparents vs nanny thing have to do with it? I assumed she meant that it was "ok" (relatively speaking) for a relative to knock their kid around but not an employed caregiver... And then the starbucks analogy threw me the OTHER way. Haha. Maybe I need to brush up on my comprehension skills.
ReplyDeleteIf only it were as easy to "punish" adults as it is to punish children. I could just walk right up and yank that snotty barista's ponytail. That woman who cut me in line at Wal-mart, I could grab her by the arm and drag her into a time-out corner (where she will stay for several minutes too long) And that man who just stole my parking space...Ooh, I'm getting my belt!
ReplyDeleteJen is right, half of the things people do to their children, they would be arrested for for doing them to an adult. It is NOT OKAY to yank a child's hair, no matter what your ethnicity.
missdee:
ReplyDeleteyou're annoying. nobody asked about your knowledge of early child development. it's a bad nanny- comment on that.
Jersey,
ReplyDeleteYou're correct. It was worded awkwardly. I was responding in part to comments where people said it was cultural for some families to flick their children. That is still abusive. I should have said AND this is a nanny. I won't attempt to further clarify this because to be honest, I just spent a week away with Maggie & clan and my brain is still a little pickled.
Anyone who hits a child = criminal
4:28 What an incredibly rude comment you made to misdee! She was just being informative, which I'm sure most everybody without a bug up their backside appreciated. Misdee is always nice to everybody and doesn't deserve your ugly comment directed at her.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of the pot calling the kettle black...wasn't it you who said, "it's a bad nanny- comment on that."
Got it now, Jennifer and I absolutely agree.
ReplyDeleteThanks :-)
I hope the parents see this and tell the nanny she is fired, while grabbing a chunk of hair out of her head. Disgusting behavior.
ReplyDeleteRight, I'm the drinker. Your brain would be clearer if you'd drink your cayenne pepper and honey water!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing criminal is the way your boobs hang out of that dress--you might try getting a more appropriate picture, jenny.
ReplyDeleteJennifer's dress is perfectly appropriate. She's beautiful.
ReplyDeletePeople are such prudes. How is her dress inappropriate? I agree with mpp. She looks beautiful AND classy.
ReplyDeleteabuse is cross cultural. my mom told me to shut up, my teacher pulled my hair, ive had shoes thrown at my face while growing up. i'm a white US born male.
ReplyDeleteit has nothing specific to do with being mexican, or any other such classification.