This morning, Wednesday, June 25th, at about 10:00 a.m., I was having coffee in the Scarsdale, NY Starbucks (at the train station). Two little boys, 3-ish and 5-ish, in khaki shorts and striped polo shirts, with brown eyes and hair, were sitting unattended for a few minutes. Then they started taking mugs off the shelves and throwing them onto the armchairs where they had been left alone. One of the Starbucks employees called out to see who was with them – no one answered. One of the boys threw a mug and broke it on the chair (it was ceramic so there were sharp pieces everywhere). One of the patrons went up and asked them “where is Mommy or Daddy” and the little one looked so sad and confused and shrugged, then hugged the man’s leg. They were not bad kids, just were unsupervised. Finally, a nanny came out of the bathroom – across the store – and said “these boys are supposed to be better trained” then YELLED at the little boy for not behaving well. She said to everyone who was staring, “well, I couldn’t take them into the ladies room” (it was a single-bathroom with a lock). Then she kept repeating to the boys, “why didn’t you sit there, you’re better trained,” then took them out of the store. She was tall, dark-skinned, short dread-locked hair, with a brightly patterned dress on, and her accent seemed Caribbean. They were unattended – in a Starbucks, with the door wide open and people streaming in and out – for at least five minutes, if not more.
Wednesday
Starbucks in Scarsdale, NY
Received Wednesday, June 25, 2008
This morning, Wednesday, June 25th, at about 10:00 a.m., I was having coffee in the Scarsdale, NY Starbucks (at the train station). Two little boys, 3-ish and 5-ish, in khaki shorts and striped polo shirts, with brown eyes and hair, were sitting unattended for a few minutes. Then they started taking mugs off the shelves and throwing them onto the armchairs where they had been left alone. One of the Starbucks employees called out to see who was with them – no one answered. One of the boys threw a mug and broke it on the chair (it was ceramic so there were sharp pieces everywhere). One of the patrons went up and asked them “where is Mommy or Daddy” and the little one looked so sad and confused and shrugged, then hugged the man’s leg. They were not bad kids, just were unsupervised. Finally, a nanny came out of the bathroom – across the store – and said “these boys are supposed to be better trained” then YELLED at the little boy for not behaving well. She said to everyone who was staring, “well, I couldn’t take them into the ladies room” (it was a single-bathroom with a lock). Then she kept repeating to the boys, “why didn’t you sit there, you’re better trained,” then took them out of the store. She was tall, dark-skinned, short dread-locked hair, with a brightly patterned dress on, and her accent seemed Caribbean. They were unattended – in a Starbucks, with the door wide open and people streaming in and out – for at least five minutes, if not more.
This morning, Wednesday, June 25th, at about 10:00 a.m., I was having coffee in the Scarsdale, NY Starbucks (at the train station). Two little boys, 3-ish and 5-ish, in khaki shorts and striped polo shirts, with brown eyes and hair, were sitting unattended for a few minutes. Then they started taking mugs off the shelves and throwing them onto the armchairs where they had been left alone. One of the Starbucks employees called out to see who was with them – no one answered. One of the boys threw a mug and broke it on the chair (it was ceramic so there were sharp pieces everywhere). One of the patrons went up and asked them “where is Mommy or Daddy” and the little one looked so sad and confused and shrugged, then hugged the man’s leg. They were not bad kids, just were unsupervised. Finally, a nanny came out of the bathroom – across the store – and said “these boys are supposed to be better trained” then YELLED at the little boy for not behaving well. She said to everyone who was staring, “well, I couldn’t take them into the ladies room” (it was a single-bathroom with a lock). Then she kept repeating to the boys, “why didn’t you sit there, you’re better trained,” then took them out of the store. She was tall, dark-skinned, short dread-locked hair, with a brightly patterned dress on, and her accent seemed Caribbean. They were unattended – in a Starbucks, with the door wide open and people streaming in and out – for at least five minutes, if not more.
People are so ignorant sometimes. It may be true that they were supposed to be better "trained" (okay, lady, they're not monkeys, they're people) but obviously she was not TRAINED to do her job very well or she wouldn't have left two defenseless children alone!
ReplyDeleteyou know, there are many ways to use a public bathroom privately with kids in tow. Also, so much safer!
ReplyDeleteOut of pure curiousity - moms out there... are you ok with the nanny taking your boys into the bathroom while she pees or poops?
ReplyDelete7:44
ReplyDeleteExcellent question ....
and the answer would be a big fat YES.
If the alternative is leaving them alone in a coffee shop, park or store -- then yes, take my kid with you.
When I go, I'd rather them be in there with me. If there are stalls, I can tell them to stay right outside the door where I can see their feet.
If it's a single restroom, and their young-ish (under 4) ... I turn the sink water on and let them keep busy playing with that (washing their hands, lol) - while it takes me a quick minute to go.
They hardly even pay attention to me!
If their older than 4, I think I would try to hold it in until I found one with stalls.
You want to be a little careful what their exposed to ... but I don't want them to be ashamed of their bodies or what they do either.
It is a normal, human daily function afterall!
:)
people are people, and we shouldn't be ashamed of our bodies- OR using the restroom. when ya gotta go... it doesn't matter if you have kids in tow!
ReplyDeleteI always bring my charge, whose 3 years old, into the restroom with me when in public places. Because he's so young we tend to bring at least one toy to every location we go, so while I do my "business", he busies himself with his toy. :) He also knows that people need privacy while they potty, and will turn his back if we are sharing a stall/one person restroom. Not only does it keep him safe, but it has also engrained in his mind that "potty time" is natural, and our bodies are normal, but are "ours to keep private and safe."
ReplyDeleteI hope you clean that toy after you leave the restroom.
ReplyDeleteVery scary that she left them alone. I would think no matter where she is from, she would have an awareness that this is dangerous in a big city burb.
ReplyDeleteAs for the "these boys are supposed to be better trained" statement, and her discomfort regarding taking boys into the bathroom with her I think these things hark back to an earlier discussion of the issues that can arise when you hire a nanny from a different cultural background. Of course it is possible the parents share her attitudes re discipline and modesty, but on safety... I doubt it.
Calif nanny here....I have this problem all the time while out and about with my 2 charges (boys) ages 3 and 5...its worse when its that time of month...but I always take them in with me, we use the handicapped potty cause its bigger and now at their age I ask them to turn around...even when we are home they come in the bathroom and want to sit on the tub and talk while I pee...they are just use to it. Its always been that way since they were born. No biggie.
ReplyDelete7:44, since the only other option would be to leave babies and children unattended in public, which I *HOPE* we can all agree is NOT an option, how could there be any objection to it?
ReplyDeleteIf they're too young to potty train, they won't understand, if they're potty training age, you are demonstrating the necessary skills by using the toilet and if they are old enough to be fully potty trained, they need to understand that you need to make sure they are safe at all times. Having them turn around to give you privacy is a good practice, too. And then they are old enough to wait for you outside.
hmm...this is interesting. i work with two girls and a very little boy, so i don't have to worry. i don't know how i would feel if i had say, a seven year old boy. i would say having him turn around while I used the bathroom would be an absolute must! what a good topic to think about.
ReplyDelete8:11-Love the response. That is a great idea, and I would rather have the children in the potty with me then have them unsupervised. It takes only seconds for a child to be gone...and had the children been seriously hurt or kidnapped, that would've been her job. Nannies like this disgust me. Yeah, I'm in a crabby mood, since I am tired...*LOL
ReplyDeletenanny here. i work with 2 boys and i have trained them from small if i have to use the bathroom in an emergency and i have no other friend to watch them (which are only 2 that i would leave them with) then they come with me and their backs are absolutely always turned to me when i am using the bathroom. This has only happened twice in the six years i have been with them and it has been fine. i rather them hear me pee or poop (god forbid) than leave them unattended. plus its usually only a couple minutes, maybe five in the bathroom, but at least i can see and hear them
ReplyDeleteanon at 10.28
ReplyDeletei guess you would rather have a clean toy than a safe kid, you are totally ignorant.
Under any other circumstance, I would hope that someone would not use the handicap bathroom, but if you have 2 or 3 kids with you, I think it is a great idea to use it, that way they are under your close supervision.
ReplyDeleteI am handicap, and I've had to wait for girls in 6 in. heels to come sashaying out of the stall, and nothing makes me angrier. I have no other choice but to wait for THAT one stall.
But if a mom with young children used it, I could totally understand, and wouldn't mind one bit.