I witnessed something today that belongs on this blog. One nanny mistreating a little girl she had with her. The nanny was wearing brown pants and a striped tunic with brown as the main color. The nanny was an African American female, mid thirties, natural hair, 4" long.The child was a little girl with blonde hair, bangs, wearing turquoise colored corduroys and a red jacket. The nanny went to plant her butt on a bench that looked towards the playground and the little girl was hanging around the nanny. The nanny was shooing her away. It was obvious that this was a very shy child. The nanny then started pushing her away. Pushing her towards the playground. The little girl was saying something like- because I could only gather from the tone and did not hear the exact words- but 'I want to go home' and 'please I don't want to'. The nanny stood up, snapped her magazine down on the bench and picked the girl up and screeched, 'do i have to play with you hear, do you see any other big people on this playground?' The nanny went on and on saying the playground was for big boys and girls but if she didn't want to play then the nanny was going to take her home, put a diaper on her and put her down for a nap. The little finally said 'okay I will" and then went over towards the equipment but then just sort of ended up sitting in the sand back by the fence. The nanny didn't even look up at her. The nanny was reading an Essence Magazine with Erika Badu on the cover. This little girl needs a nanny who is kind. This nanny is not kind. She is exasperated and mean spirited. There was more. I got knocked off meebo. So the little girl sits with her bottom on the black squares facing the fence, just playing with the few inches of sand there. She sat there for 20 minutes, until I left. I don't know how much longer. I was with earshot of the nanny when she said what she did about the diaper. I should have responded or butt in, but I didn't. I really wish I would have given her a piece of my mind. The nanny also had on several gold bangles on one of her arms. This happened right around lunch time, today, 4/8.
I don't get why nannies are nannies if they can't be loving and supportive.
ReplyDeleteThat was a mean thing to say to that little girl. I think with someone who is acting like that it is better not to say anything to her but I would try to find out who she works for and if you are going there again and have a cam corder I would stand back and tape this . Talk to the little girl and see if she knows her home phone number. Get it from her and call the parents. Maybe ask this woman if she does babysitting on the side and find out who she works for.
ReplyDeleteIf this girl is old enough to speak, she's old enough to exhibit fear towards the nanny or to tell the parents that she's afraid of this mean nanny.
ReplyDeleteI'm not excusing the nanny, mean people are mean. I'm blaming the mother for leaving her child with such a mean, violent individual.
Does saving a few dollars, or having the free time to go to a gym or the hair salon worth it???
For some people it's all about the few dollars they save. So sad
ReplyDeleteOP, don't feel badly about not saying anything. These kinds do not respond well to criticism, and it can make them even more angry with the child.
ReplyDeleteLet's hope the mom or someone who knows her spots this post.
Aww.. poor baby. I hope the parents see this! I wish I could be her nanny.. :(
ReplyDeleteMany people, I find, do not become nannies because they love children they do it because they can do nothing else or are not legally able to. It's very sad and children suffer. I'm sure the parents have no idea this woman treats the little girl this way and if she is shy she may never speak up.
ReplyDeleteIs that the case with you? You couldn't find anything better to do?
ReplyDeletePoor child! This nanny is a sad excuse for a human being and obviously could never get any other job where she shoved people who she is paid to care for away and read her magazine while sitting on her lazy useless behind! This is someone who needs her mean face posted online! I hope the little girls parents find out and fire her immediately. How old was the little girl?
ReplyDeletePoor nanny
ReplyDeleteShe probably needed a break! Come on, why couldn't the little girl play without the nanny being by her side. It doesn't sound like she was two years old. How many moms do this. They go to the park and hang out and talk to their friends or relax while their kids play.
We all need a break. I am not saying not to interact at all. But we all need 20-30 minutes of peace, when with kids all day
She could be a nanny working 7-7 and housecleaning as well. We don't know the situation she is in
ReplyDeleteIf she is working 7/7 and housecleaning as well, it's because she is too stupid to get out of that situation, too lazy to resolve her own problems and too nasty to get a better nanny position. Either do your job well or find a new one. I can't believe anyone is excusing this nasty behavior.
ReplyDeleteThis nanny's behavior is disgusting. That said, and this is something I have echoed tine and again, as a parent and Nanny I see many of these types of disinterested, mean nannies. Most of them are making far below minimum wage, expected to do housecleaning as well as everything else that parents who have children as accessories would not dare do themselves. Most times, they can't get another position because they are uneducated (we are talking didn't get past middle-school) and working illegally (usually collecting welfare, disability or running some other scam on the government) Often, the parents are only too happy to go along because they are getting just short of a slave for on the cheap. I have met nannies who have complained to me about this and I have met parents who brag how cheap they got their housekeeper/nanny or "Help". I have had parents comment on my work with my charges in parks and other public places only to have them balk at my 18.00 per hour rate, and tell their last girl got 6.00. And believe me, when I am talking to parents who own McMansions in Upper Saddle River or Ho-Ho_Kus NJ, they can well afford that and more but won't pay it because they can get cheap childcare. Again, I'm not defending this nanny's actions, but this is why we see this a good portion of the time.
ReplyDelete11:32 If the nanny can't do her job than she should not be working............
ReplyDeleteYour right FNG
ReplyDeleteI live in Bergen county too. I went on an interview in Hudson county (Hoboken). The position was part-time. Paying $12 per hour. The worst part is when I saw them panicking about paying me for when they would go away. They had two weeks vacation they were going to take. And you could tell they didn't want to pay someone for that. I hate to tell them most nannies in Hoboken are getting at least $15 per hour.
Anyway, didn't get the job. Good thing. I will just try again. See what happens
I am a nanny, and I work 7am to 8pm, and I do light housework, and I treat my children with kindness. It's not that hard.
ReplyDeletefor Janet E. who dosn't get why nannies are nannies if they can't be loving and supportive.
ReplyDeleteSome possible motives:
1. Money for nothing
2. Gourmet food (yes, all you can eat daily gorge-fest with take outs)
3. Never-ending cell phone usage to stay in touch with friends and boyfriend
4. Personal shopping trips
5. Romantic rendezvous at parks and who knows where all else (with charge in tow)
6. Pleasant fresh air napping at parks
7. Keeping brain challenged by inventing creative lies to deceive employers
8. Juicy gossip to spread to enraptured audiences everywhere
9. Wearing skanky clothes to possibly snare a husband (or someone else's husband)
10. Extended breaks to nap or congregate at local libraries and bookstores with fellow nannies to socialize, while ignoring charges as they run wild at the expense of the staff, customers and/or visitors
Sprak, you forgot to explain that it's neccessary to call the...individuals who use a childcare job to pursue their other interests not "nanny", but Pond Scum.
ReplyDeleteyes, chic we can refer to these beasts by all manner of names, but in the eyes of their employers and by their own self-reference, they are bona-fide nannies.
ReplyDeleteA few of you missed the point entirely, this isn't about needing a few moments alone on the bench to recoup, it's about the means this nanny chose to use in order to get those few moments of peace. You are correct in saying all people (parents and nannies included) need a little break here and there in order to keep their sanity, but you are incorrect in justifying the means this nanny chose to use in order to get this free time. I would like to hope that most parents don't say demeaning, abusive, hurtful and taunting things such as : "I will put you in a diaper and make you take a nap etc", in order to gain free time for themselves, as this nanny did. This is a cruel, abrasive thing to say to a child, and is in fact using Psychological means of fear and humiliation in order to get her way. As an adult, she should know better, and I don't think I should have to add how many different shades of wrong this is! I understand we all have our "off days", but I'd like to hope that even on the worst of days we attempt to refrain from demeaning our children, and/or the children we are PAID to be professionals with. As a 1st grade teacher, whom was first a nanny for several years, I know all about exhaustion and children rattling your nerves. I've seen more tantrums than the stars in the sky, but that does not and will never give me the right to humiliate, be-little, or taunt a child in order to "get a break". Somebody has to be the adult in every situation encountered, and let's hope it's not the 5 year old begging for a little attention.
ReplyDeleteHoboken, where a studio apartment rents for about 1500.00 per month and they are looking to pay below standard wages. Good luck with your job search!
ReplyDeleteTo Anonymous 11:06PM: NO I work with children because I love them and legally I can do whatever I want. Also I work 12-13 hour days and do housework as well and do not treat my charges in this manner. To humiliate a child is just wrong no matter what is going on with the nanny or her hours or work situation. Quit if you don't like it.
ReplyDeleteRe: Sprak's list.
ReplyDeleteWhy are those nannies Sprak describes able to get hired?
There is a high correlation between the caliber of nanny, and the standards of the parents, both in their expectations of care, and in the way they treat the caregiver.
1. The parents are not willing to put in the time and effort to interview and check references extensively for a number of candidates in order to find the best.
2. They are focused on housekeeping, childcare is secondary.
3. The parents may be clueless about the children's need for stimulation, socialization and guidance that a nanny should provide.
4. The parents want the cheapest hire they can find.
5. The mom is insecure, and doesn't want someone who is educated and more knowledgeable about child development than she.
6. She can take advantage of an illegal woman who doesn't have a lot of options, coming home late, asking her to do duties that were not part of the job description etc.
7. Mom is such a witch to work for, she can't keep a good nanny.
but then again, some people are very good at the art of deception and the parents remain clueless unless and until the nanny is caught doing something untoward or outed by someone.
ReplyDeleteSprak & 10:32
ReplyDeleteReally good ... (and unfortunately honest) posts.