Would this bother you? Your nanny takes your 2-2.5 year old with her to a nail salon. She plops the child down and gets her nails and toes done. The child is sitting there bored out of her skull, sucking down toxic nail fumes for almost an hour? And getting constantly corrected and scolded for moving around too much or singing too loud? If your nanny is Hispanic, with long hair, no chin and medium length nails that are now painted a deep red and is wearing jeans with flip flops and is showing off a french manicure on her toes, ask her when she got her nails done! Your daughter is cherubic looking with reddish-blond curled hair and was wearing a red turtleneck with hearts embroidered across the chest. This took place Tuesday, (4/29) between 3-4 PM.
Wednesday
Nail Salon in the Westfield Mall in Trumbull, CT
Received Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Would this bother you? Your nanny takes your 2-2.5 year old with her to a nail salon. She plops the child down and gets her nails and toes done. The child is sitting there bored out of her skull, sucking down toxic nail fumes for almost an hour? And getting constantly corrected and scolded for moving around too much or singing too loud? If your nanny is Hispanic, with long hair, no chin and medium length nails that are now painted a deep red and is wearing jeans with flip flops and is showing off a french manicure on her toes, ask her when she got her nails done! Your daughter is cherubic looking with reddish-blond curled hair and was wearing a red turtleneck with hearts embroidered across the chest. This took place Tuesday, (4/29) between 3-4 PM.
Would this bother you? Your nanny takes your 2-2.5 year old with her to a nail salon. She plops the child down and gets her nails and toes done. The child is sitting there bored out of her skull, sucking down toxic nail fumes for almost an hour? And getting constantly corrected and scolded for moving around too much or singing too loud? If your nanny is Hispanic, with long hair, no chin and medium length nails that are now painted a deep red and is wearing jeans with flip flops and is showing off a french manicure on her toes, ask her when she got her nails done! Your daughter is cherubic looking with reddish-blond curled hair and was wearing a red turtleneck with hearts embroidered across the chest. This took place Tuesday, (4/29) between 3-4 PM.
Yes, only mothers are allowed to take their children with them to their salon appointments.
ReplyDeleteThat's ridiculous - I don't think moms should do this either, but if I employed a nanny (or anyone else for any other job) I would expect them to get their nails done ON THEIR OWN TIME, not mine. If someone is a nanny they are being paid to care for a child, with the focus on the child's needs; they are not being paid to drag a child around on errands, and they are certainly not being paid to get their nails done while the child breathes the fumes. Has the previous commenter lost all perspective on the definition of a JOB? I don't get it. I don't think nannies need to spend every hour of every day doing educational or entertaining things with their charges...we all need downtime during a full-time job. But there is NO reason to get your nails done while working, unless perhaps you actually work at a nail salon.
ReplyDeleteUm, 2:45, do you make salon appointments during your working hours? Most of us don't do that, and most employers don't think that's OK. I'm not sure why nannies should be exempt from having to make salon appointments outside of working hours, like the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteI agree, I would never have taken a charge to get my nails done, however I do plan to take my daughter when she's old enough. Of course she will get hers done too:)
ReplyDeleteWe really can't assume that the mother didn't know about this.
ReplyDeleteI used to work for this woman who would not only give me money to get my nails done, but allow me to bring her SON with me..not even a girl, a boy.
He loved it though.
It's a shame the kid was bored, antsy and being spoken to harshly, and of course there's a chance the mother had NO idea what the nanny was doing...but there's also a chance she did.
And as far as the fumes are concerned, that's iffy. Minimal exposure won't do much harm.
However, I can't figure out how pregnant women work in nail salons...that seems like a huge risk.
jxj
ReplyDeleteYou're always so "iffy"! LOL
And I would have declined the offer to get my nails done with the kid, it's not fair to him.
Concerning the post:
This was wrong, wrong, wrong!
Children should not be exposed to the "toxic boredom" in nail salons!
9:01, give me a break. "Always" so iffy? Why, because I prefer to look at BOTH sides of a situation?
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't fair to him?
Did I not say he enjoyed himself?
But you really ARE a better person than me...declining and all. See, my relationship with my employer(s), babysitting included, is personal..I actually AM part of the family and am treated as a person...not just an employee.
I feel I provide enough love, nurturing and enjoyment to my charges, that NOT declining to take one of them to a nail salon, for example, would not jeopardize that.
But again, you're OBVIOUSLY a better, more moral person than I am.
Some of you are nasty, self righteous human beings.
Why so miserable?
I'm not a parent, but this would seriously piss me off if I were! I'm a nanny, and I wouldn't even consider doing my personal errands or having my nails done during working hours.
ReplyDeleteIt's just not okay.
I am a parent and I am always short on time. There were nights I had a sitter coming for our night out and I wished I had time for a manicure. I never dreamt of a manny-pedi with two sets of twins. When my oldest set turned 8, they were finally interested in nails and beauty and they would come with me to the salon and get their nails done. Even as a parent, I would think you would have to be awfully narcissitic to take a small child and awfully idiotic to think the small child should set still and quietly for such a time.
ReplyDeleteThis isn't surprising. At least the nanny didn't leave the child in a hot car while she did her bidding.
12:34
ReplyDeleteI know. I think it was on 'Childcare gone wrong' that I saw an article where a Nanny went into a tanning salon and left her young charge in the hot car!
If not for an Employee and another patron, this child would most certainly have died.
I don't agree with a child so young being brought into a nail salon, those fumes are completely noxious!
How do you all feel about pregnant women working in nail salons?
ReplyDeleteThey swear they've read this and that and yada yada yada about how it WON'T harm the baby...but I'm not so sure.
Hmm, I'll make some jaws drop and admit that I've never been in a nail salon (only hair salons), so I haven't experienced the fumes. That said, I refused to even paint my own nails or dye my hair when I was pregnant and always used rubber gloves when handling any cleaning supplies. So if there are as many strong fumes as I imagoine there might be, I'd be horrified at the idea of a pregnant woman working at a nail salon, though I'm sure it happens all the time.
ReplyDeleteThe women that work at the nail salons I've been to wear masks.
ReplyDeleteI don't like nail salons.
ReplyDeleteI do my own and get compliments all the time.
Yes, the salon I go to, the women also wear masks. And I can't judge a pregnant woman working in a salon. She may have no other choice.
ReplyDeleteOur nanny and the 6 yr old get their hair and nails done together. Our little one loves it ,it is a big thing to her. OUr friend who has a nail salon, insists that her enmployees wear masks even if not pregnant. Most shops have adequate ventilation for the fumes to leave the shop but these women are dealing with up close and personal with these chemicals all day. If the parents have no objections to a nanny taking their children while she is getting her nails or hair done then what business is it of anyone else? You can't help but notice that your nanny has just had her nails done. I mean we do notice how our nannies dress and how they look right?
ReplyDeleteI would be mad if that was my child. The nanny is PAID to take care of the child.
ReplyDeleteIf the mom told her to get her nails done and drag the child along, well I guess maybe she cares more about making her nanny like her than about how her child feels.
I also do my own nails. Not only do I not want a fungus, but I can do a better job myself in less time.
I did take my own kids with me on occasion to get my hair cut...out of desperation. I didn't have a nanny, and good luck finding a competent sitter in the middle of a weekday...at least where I live. Sometimes I traded kids with a friend when one of us needed to do something like that, but a mom doesn't always have a choice. Nanny does. She gets to say "buh bye" to the kids each evening and do whatever she wants AFTER that.
I don't know about the rest of you, but I LOVED doing things with my mom, even if I wasn't entertained by toys or other children 24/7. Some of my best memories are of going to the salon with her, the mall, even going to work with her. I'm not sure why such a HUGE deal is being made about a child being brought to a nail salon, either by the nanny (assuming mom knows) OR a mom...
ReplyDeleteYou're probably the same people who put the TV on in your SUV's as soon as you buckle your kid into the carseat.
Children don't need to be entertained ALL the time. Let them see the world around them and let their imaginations run wild.
JXJ,
ReplyDeleteI never had a tv in my car and I didn't entertain my kids 24/7 either. It's not so much about the kid having to be treated like he is king of the world and nanny is his servant as it just seems like an odd thing to do "on the clock" on a job, when the kid has to just sit, bored to a crisp, while she does something she could just as well do when she's not at work. I don't think it's a horrible thing as far as bad nanny sitings go, but I would be mad to find out my nanny, if I had one, was doing stuff like this instead of going to the park or whatever. If she needs down time (as we all do) at least do it where the kids can amuse themselves, like at home where they have access to their stuff, friends and a backyard to amuse themselves the way kids ought to.
If it was a girl and the mom sent them both to have a little "girl's spa" treat together then that's an entirely different thing. My daughter also loves to do girl errands with me. That's a different thing than this post here is about.
On the one hand some of the nannies who post here are outraged that the parents don't seem to recognize them as true professionals...and on the other hand there are some nannies here who think they ought to be able to do all kinds of things on the clock at work that would be grounds for immediate dismissal from most other "professional" positions. Hopefully it's not the same nannies expecting to have the best of both worlds. A true professional does her personal grooming appointments, shopping, errands and wearing of trampy clothing AFTER work. (Last one not meant to be a dig at the nanny in the tank top from a few weeks back. I personally thought that shirt she had on looked fine...but again, as a professional I would have changed clothes and not made an issue if I were her.)
Mom, good point actually. I never thought about it that way.
ReplyDeleteSee I'm more laid back. I've been a babysitter since the age of 12 and after quitting daycare about 5 years ago, got into the nanny world. Like I mentioned, I really did become part of almost every family I ever worked for. My kids were always my buddies and I was more along the lines of aunt type figure as opposed to PROFESSIONAL CAREGIVER (obviously, considering I was simply a babysitter not a nanny)...I guess that's how I like it. I don't plan on making this a career or anything like that. Once I have my own children, thats it.
So yes, you're right. It's all about how a particular nanny wants to be treated..professional or otherwise. I think I am an awesome nanny and I honestly get more sincere offers for jobs (nanny poaching! or just people who need an occassional babysitter) from mommies seeing me out with her, than I would if I was sticking flyers up at a local supermarket or working with an agency...I love my charge more than ANYTHING and I would no matter how I referred to my job title.
Not to sound corny, but thank you for opening up that side of it to me, Mom. I didn't even think of professional vs laid back, for lack of a better description.
JXJ,
ReplyDeleteYou sound like you have a great attitude and are probably a fantastic caregiver (and also a nice person.)
I'm glad you didn't think I was trying to argue with you, b/c I think you write great posts.
I think it's really important that caregivers and employers each know what they want from each other right up front. It seems so many of the people here run into trouble because the parents and nannies often have different levels of "professional" in mind...and in many cases it seems the nannies themselves want the perks of "professional" but the freedoms of "laid back."
My aunt babysat all of her life...kind of like you do....but out of her own home. Usually she would have the kids of one family at a time (plus maybe some of her own grandkids) over a several years period...and in the case of one family I think from birth to grown. She treated the kids like family and did whatever she needed to do as if they were her own kids. That was great with the parents because she was essentially raising the kids as if they were with an at home mom (or aunt or grandma.) MY Aunt died several years ago but I still from time to time get e-mails form my cousins talking about what one or another of those "kids" is up to now...because they really were like family. That's also a very nice way to go...as long as both parties agree up front.
JXJ,
ReplyDeleteYou sound like you have a great attitude and are probably a fantastic caregiver (and also a nice person.)
I'm glad you didn't think I was trying to argue with you, b/c I think you write great posts.
I think it's really important that caregivers and employers each know what they want from each other right up front. It seems so many of the people here run into trouble because the parents and nannies often have different levels of "professional" in mind...and in many cases it seems the nannies themselves want the perks of "professional" but the freedoms of "laid back."
My aunt babysat all of her life...kind of like you do....but out of her own home. Usually she would have the kids of one family at a time (plus maybe some of her own grandkids) over a several years period...and in the case of one family I think from birth to grown. She treated the kids like family and did whatever she needed to do as if they were her own kids. That was great with the parents because she was essentially raising the kids as if they were with an at home mom (or aunt or grandma.) MY Aunt died several years ago but I still from time to time get e-mails form my cousins talking about what one or another of those "kids" is up to now...because they really were like family. That's also a very nice way to go...as long as both parties agree up front.
Thanks Mom :-)
ReplyDeleteWe did agree to that up front, more or less. I mean, no one said "You're more like family as opposed to a professional," but it was understood...I prefer this type of relationship. When I was interviewing for a nanny position, I had quite a few people who were willing to pay me considerably more but also made it clear that I'd be their employee or even worse, the HELP. That's not to say that nannies who ARE professional only deal with employers like that, but I know it's common. So I chose to go with the family I liked, the ones who saw me as a person not JUST THE NANNY.
By the way, I am not judging anyone who treats their nanny as JUST THE NANNY. I'm making a general statement and could never make assumptions about individual relationships.
I take my charge with me to get OUR nails done together. We do it occasionally. Once every other month or so. My mb knows we do it and she doesnt mind at all. My charge LOVES it. I have been there for 14 years and we do just fine and I dont think taking her is abusive at all.
ReplyDeleteJ
I think that its not okay for this nanny to take her charge to the salon with her. Its different if the little girl was getting her nails done too, but not okay for her to be sitting bored for that long.
ReplyDeleteIt is ridiculous that The child is sitting there bored out of her skull, sucking down toxic nail fumes for almost an hour
ReplyDeleteI work very long hours, and some weekends as well. There is just not enough time in the day to get everything done. So, I take my charge with me to get our nails done or haircut. I usually try to get her hair trimmed as well, and sometimes, if she wants, she gets her nails painted. I don't think it is a bad thing for a child, who is old enough, to realize that they are not the center of the world all the time. Sometimes, things just have to get done. They need to learn patience! Assuming they are a bit older, of course. And yes, her mother is aware of this, and has no problems with it.
ReplyDelete