Where: In CVS on Chatsworth Avenue, Larchmont NY (Westchester County)
When: Mon. April 21, 11:30 a.m.
Who: twin boys (probably 2+ years old) in a twin stroller (brown or dark maroon with striped diaper bag hanging on handles); boys appeared identical, with light brown hair, dressed in blue “croc” shoes and blue jeans but different colored jackets (greenish and tannish, I think)
Nanny: youngish, slender, Caribbean by my best guess but possibly African American.
What: one of the boys had been given a small package of potato chips, and he accidentally spilled some on the floor. The nanny scolded him loud and harshly and at length!! (Including yelling, “You’re going to get a time out RIGHT HERE!!”) As she angrily pushed the stroller out of the store, I saw that the boy who had spilled the potato chips had a totally blank expression on his face (like a deer caught in the headlights), while his twin brother looked as if he were about to cry, or perhaps was struggling not to cry.
So many people still do not understand that this kind of abuse is just as damaging as the kind that leaves visible scars. When parents verbally abuse their children, at least they (the parents) know what was done to the kids; when a “caregiver” does it to children too young (or too scared) to tell the parents, the parents don’t know what their children have suffered, and are at a loss to explain the troubled behavior the abuse causes.
Not trying to disrespect you, OP but did you see the events leading up to this? As a nanny and mother I know spilled food/drinks/paints etc. often are preceded by the child fooling around excessively, fighting with their siblings, and other sorts of undesirable behaviors, with plenty of warnings that if it continues, the child will achieve negative consequences, like a time out or loss of whatever they were fighting over. And I will admit, as a mommy and a nanny, the negative consequences are definitely NOT administered with the same sweet voice and body language that praise for a picture or helping clearing the table would be.
ReplyDelete1:47- I agree. The kid made a mess. He was probably warned that he would only get chips if he didn't make a mess. You estimate they were around 2 so it may be a little young for a child to comprehend that but it sounds like there are many situations where this kind of discipline would be warranted. What would you want a mother or nanny to do with a kid that just spilled chips everywhere? I guess if she didn't think she could handle them he shouldn't have got them but I really don't think a time out is inappropriate and I think the crying is just a normal reaction to knowing you did something you shouldn't have, accident or not.
ReplyDeleteIf a two yo accidentally spills something, that doesn't warrant a harsh scolding, and time out.
ReplyDeleteThere may be more to the story, but still this doesn't sound like a loving and capable nanny.
Well I don't think I would have gone off on a 2 yr old. I know I would have just taken the chips away.Maybe banged my head on the wall a few times.( it helps because you forget about the mess and think about your pain) It isn't like the child opened the bag and then just threw the chips on the floor . Accidents happen ,it wasn't deliberate. I know it can be nerve wracking when kids keep making messes, but 2 is a little young to be yelled at.
ReplyDeleteKids spill. Kids make messes. Sometimes it's frustrating to keep cleaning up after them, but this nanny seemed heartless to me. It didn't sound like that big of a deal. I think she's in the wrong profession. What's new?
ReplyDelete10:32 - maybe it wasn't an accident. 2 yos can and will deliberately dump food, drinks, and other things on the floor. Just maybe, this woman has been picking up messes left and right all day and just lost it for a minute when it happened again for the umpteenth time.
ReplyDeleteIf this woman lost it over a mess from a 2-year old, she has no perspective and is in the wrong line of work. OP said it was an accident, not a deliberate dumping, and even that doesn't warrant that kind of yelling. Get a clue on child development, a 2-year old doesn't need to be yelled at or get a long lecture.
ReplyDeleteYikes, the way some people interact with kids, it's a wonder so many of them are nervous wrecks!