This incident occurred at the Boyle Park playground on Thursday, March 27, 2008 at about 5:30pm. I went in to use the men’s room which is next to the playground, I found a female toddler with very curly blond hair, wearing a pink play outfit. Her hands and face were very, very dirty and she was walking toward the urinal. I looked under the stall (assuming her father was using the restroom and did not realize his daughter was touching unsanitary items) but there was nobody in the restroom. I realized this little girl may have been here for some time and that is why she was so dirty. I immediately went outside the restroom and inquired to a group of people sitting in a circle area of the playground if anybody had a little girl dressed in pink as she was alone in the men’s room. I young Hispanic looking girl who looked pregnant got up and headed over. She did not move very quickly as I was surprised it took her so long to get to the men’s room which is just feet away. She finally came and told the little girl “I told you to …”. I told the girl she may have been touching the toilet, the urinal and the dirty drain area for some time and she needed to wash her hands and face in warm soapy water, which I assume she did. I though of the horror of being at work in the City and thinking your child is well cared for and meanwhile she is having the run of a very dirty men’s room, not to mention what could have happened if the wrong guy had walked in. This nanny was not attentive. This is the second one I have seen at this park that endangered the child she was looking after. If I had a nanny, I would take a day off work and follow her to the park and see how she deals with traffic and how attentive she is with the children. This nanny seemed more into socializing than watching this toddler.
Friday
Boyle Park in Mill Valley, CA
Received Friday, March 28, 2008
This incident occurred at the Boyle Park playground on Thursday, March 27, 2008 at about 5:30pm. I went in to use the men’s room which is next to the playground, I found a female toddler with very curly blond hair, wearing a pink play outfit. Her hands and face were very, very dirty and she was walking toward the urinal. I looked under the stall (assuming her father was using the restroom and did not realize his daughter was touching unsanitary items) but there was nobody in the restroom. I realized this little girl may have been here for some time and that is why she was so dirty. I immediately went outside the restroom and inquired to a group of people sitting in a circle area of the playground if anybody had a little girl dressed in pink as she was alone in the men’s room. I young Hispanic looking girl who looked pregnant got up and headed over. She did not move very quickly as I was surprised it took her so long to get to the men’s room which is just feet away. She finally came and told the little girl “I told you to …”. I told the girl she may have been touching the toilet, the urinal and the dirty drain area for some time and she needed to wash her hands and face in warm soapy water, which I assume she did. I though of the horror of being at work in the City and thinking your child is well cared for and meanwhile she is having the run of a very dirty men’s room, not to mention what could have happened if the wrong guy had walked in. This nanny was not attentive. This is the second one I have seen at this park that endangered the child she was looking after. If I had a nanny, I would take a day off work and follow her to the park and see how she deals with traffic and how attentive she is with the children. This nanny seemed more into socializing than watching this toddler.
This incident occurred at the Boyle Park playground on Thursday, March 27, 2008 at about 5:30pm. I went in to use the men’s room which is next to the playground, I found a female toddler with very curly blond hair, wearing a pink play outfit. Her hands and face were very, very dirty and she was walking toward the urinal. I looked under the stall (assuming her father was using the restroom and did not realize his daughter was touching unsanitary items) but there was nobody in the restroom. I realized this little girl may have been here for some time and that is why she was so dirty. I immediately went outside the restroom and inquired to a group of people sitting in a circle area of the playground if anybody had a little girl dressed in pink as she was alone in the men’s room. I young Hispanic looking girl who looked pregnant got up and headed over. She did not move very quickly as I was surprised it took her so long to get to the men’s room which is just feet away. She finally came and told the little girl “I told you to …”. I told the girl she may have been touching the toilet, the urinal and the dirty drain area for some time and she needed to wash her hands and face in warm soapy water, which I assume she did. I though of the horror of being at work in the City and thinking your child is well cared for and meanwhile she is having the run of a very dirty men’s room, not to mention what could have happened if the wrong guy had walked in. This nanny was not attentive. This is the second one I have seen at this park that endangered the child she was looking after. If I had a nanny, I would take a day off work and follow her to the park and see how she deals with traffic and how attentive she is with the children. This nanny seemed more into socializing than watching this toddler.
she is not a nanny but a cheap babysiter, parents, this is what hapends when you prefer to spend your money in a big SUV rather than good childcare!
ReplyDeleteThat nanny was lucky you were there. Just imagine if a pedophile had walked in. That girl could have been harmed, and the nanny would have had no idea.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, you can still spend lot of money on unreliable nannies.
ReplyDeleteEven more unfortunately, in this "you get what you pay for" scenario, it's the innocent children who "get it," not their cheapo parents.
ReplyDeleteHave a clue people. The dad who wrote this is absolutely correct...take a day off and secretly observe your nanny and child together. Not just once, but periodically. Have your friends and family members do this for you also. I know its a lot of extra work, but maybe a handful of days out of your life isn't too much to devote to making sure the person raising your child/grandchild, niece/nephew is doing a decent job?
I am appalled to think of what could have happened to this little girl if a different man had found her first. I am also very surprised that there are not more kidnappings in these areas where these known non-caregivers are known to congregate while ignoring their charges. And what's going to happen to nanny if baby is kidnapped? Probably nothing. Want to sue her for taking negligent care? Good luck recovering any settlement you might win...and no amount of money is going to bring your child back, or erase the emotional scars of whatever ordeal they may have suffered.
Arrrgh!
I'm aware that the world is a dangerous place, but I find it mildly funny the way you're all talking about "the wrong guy" who could have came it. It sounds as though one of every three guys is a homicidal child molester.
ReplyDeleteWell this reminds me of the time I accidentally used the men's room at a family restauraunt with two stalls. I was sitting on the toilet (wasn't tipped off by the fact that the stalls had no doors) and an old man came in. He stared at me with such a perverse look. And watched me get up off the toilet and take care of business. I was 7 years old but knew something was wrong with that man.
ReplyDeletehellcat: You obviously have never been a parent or are from another solar system if you actually believe what you have written. I can not imagine a parent of a small girl who was left alone in a men's room at a park who would not consider the possibility of a man entering the restroom with bad intentions. Some men are wired wrong and they like to go to places where they have access to small children, like parks.
ReplyDeleteI live in this town and I know this park. The toddler play area is gated and the bathrooms are behind it, accessed by a walking path that wraps around the play area. For a small child to leave the play area and be wandering around in the men's room means her Nanny was not watching her for quite some time. This is very dangerous as this park also has a stream nearby, a main road with distracted drivers, and a parking lot directly behind the bathrooms. This could have been a real horrific situation with tragic results. The parents should know about this. OP, did you get the child's and / or Nanny's name?
ReplyDeleteNo. But hopefully the description is accurate enough that some of the regulars who access this site can identify the little girl and alert her parents. The creek area (especially further down toward Blithedale can have very deep pools and a big drop if a child falls off the edge. I have seen some pretty remiss nanny's and parents over the years, but this one yesterday was by far the worst.
ReplyDelete6:10. I AM a parent. I didn't say danger doesn't exist. You obviously didn't read my first sentence.
ReplyDeleteI would never leave my son alone ANYWHERE, but things like that simply don't happen here anyway. We've only ever had one case of anything like that and it was a police officer who raped a little boy in his cruiser. I'm not saying it doesn't happen anywhere else. I just chuckled because everyone said the exact same thing, and the way they said *another* guy or whatever, not even "some creep."
It just sounded like pedophiles are VERY commonplace.
Sadly, Pedophiles ARE very commonplace.
ReplyDeleteI think that the OP was very correct in his handeling of the situation - and in his comments. It is a dangerous world out there and we need to be able to trust the people we hire to watch our children that they are indeed watching and protecting them.
Kids get hurt when parents or caregivers get too relaxed. Just like the last comment from Cat. The statement: Things don't happen here, anyway, there was only one case.....
ReplyDeleteIf you watch the news you always see the neighbors or families make statements like that of Cat. "We always thought this was a safe area". "We would never think our neighbor was capable of that". "They were a quiet family that didn't cause any problems".
Yes, and apparently the boy raped in the police cruiser "doesn't count"? I'm sure his parents feel differently than you do about how things like that "never happening" where you live. That is one of the most dangerous attitudes of all:"Not my child." it's somebody's child every single day in this country. Why not yours?
ReplyDeleteEric's mom: Even though I said it doesn't happen where I live (once, over a decade ago) I still said I would never leave my child unattended.
ReplyDeleteI'm not saying it doesn't happen. I guess it's apparently more common in America than it is here. I'm mistaken. I guess everyone in America is probably pedophile.
For the record, I'm not saying this wasn't an important sighting or things couldn't have been grim for that little girl. Although I do believe the chances of someone hurting her in a public bathroom during the daylight are slim, especially when the predator wouldn't know if a parent was about to come in after her or not.
What I found most horrifying about this post was that she was playing in filthy urinals. I thought "Ew. Disease" rather than "Oh no, homicidal maniac!"
10:04 PM, I could be wrong.. but I believe the police officer was actually the boys father.
ReplyDeleteIt is nice to know that 99 percent
ReplyDeleteof the caregivers and mothers on here read the news papers. America is not "full of pedophiles" the whole world According the FBI’s National Crime Information Center (NCIC)
85% to 90% of the 876,213 persons reported missing to America’s law enforcement agencies in 2000 were juveniles (persons under 18 years of age). That means that 2,100 times per day parents or primary care givers felt the disappearance was serious enough to call law enforcement.
152,265 of the persons reported missing in 2000 were categorized as either endangered or involuntary.
The number of missing persons reported to law enforcement has increased from 154, 341 in 1982 to 876,213 in 2000. That is an increase of 468%.
Stranger kidnapping victimizes more females than males, occurs primarily at outdoor locations, victimizes both teenagers and school-age children, is associated with sexual assaults in the case of girl victims and robberies in the case of boy victims (although not exclusively so), and is the type of kidnapping most likely to involve the use of a firearm.
According to www.Sex-Offenders.us:
• A child is molested every four seconds. Nearly one out of every three girls and one of every four boys is molested by age 18. This difference in these numbers may be because boys report molestation less frequently than girls
I'm not totally ignorant to the statistics.
ReplyDeleteBut 12:50 AM, while you're looking the information up why don't you look into how often the children are hurt by parents and people they know rather than just a stranger at a park. Now THAT is an alarming one.
Actually, according to this site
ReplyDeletehttp://www.hccac.org/abuse/myths.html
#1
MYTH: Children are usually molested by strangers.
FACT: 85% if children are molested by someone they know. The people most likely to molest children are those who have the most opportunity and access to them.
Yes kids are molested by those that have access to them and know them, but if the child is in a public restroom by themselves, at a park, they can be raped by a stranger and it is more than likely that it WILL be a stranger in that situation.
ReplyDeleteYou are just trying to split hairs.
Hellcat, you can't see the forest for the trees.
ReplyDeleteThere are approx 500 stranger abductions fo children in the US per year. (That does not include stranger rape or molestation of children.)While it may be true that parents and know people hurt children at a potentially greater rate, the fact remains that 500 children are taken by strangers every year. (And statistically, the death rate is high among this group.) Tell those 500 families (5000 this decade) that it wasn't so bad that their child was left unattended in public.
Considering what those kids go through...even one is too many.
"mom"
ReplyDeleteYou're the one missing the point. I never said it was okay to leave a child unattended. I never claimed this wasn't an important sighting.
One final time for those of you who are just LOOKING to pick a fight: I didn't said kids don't get molested. I didn't say it wasn't awful that this girl was left unattended. I didn't say this wasn't an important sighting, etc. etc. etc.
ReplyDeleteI said that with the responses I was left with the impression that most of you assume assume every one in three guys would be a homicidal pedophile. And that is ALL I said and exactly what I meant by it.
you want to split hairs further?
ReplyDeletechildren are molested by children who have access to them. Bad caregivers allow access to their children that should not BE!
there is definitely something seedy about a little girl in the men's room. in a public bathroom. granted that is more where the gays go to rendezvous with other adult gays, but still. sex is on the agenda.
I understood what you meant, hellcat. got a little giggle out of it too. over-reactions are the norm here it seems.
ReplyDeleteI am sure John Walsh never thought there was a homicidal maniac at Sears when they let their son play in the toy section. How many years later did they find his little headless torso?
ReplyDeleteSuch a topic can actually bring "giggles" from people ?isn'that just amazing?
Well I don't know how I can KNow if someone is a maniac or molester,so I don't take chances with my kids. I don't care if there is one in a 1000, that "one" is not going to have any contact with my child if I can help it.
It stuns me that any mother can be so flippant about this And make snide remarks about it and another one can "giggle".
7:02, get a friggen grip. Jesus christ.
ReplyDeleteSuch self righteous and judgemental BS on here. Hop down off your pedestal and stop taking yourself so seriously.
Abused and molested children?
ReplyDeleteSomething, I think we should all take serious.
What and odd perspective from a nanny trusted to look after and protect the children in her care.
7:02
ReplyDeleteThey are not parents. The ones taking it lightly and giggling on here. I mean just look at their names.
JerseyXJacquie,
ReplyDeleteYou might want to watch how you toss around the name of the Lord.
If you and hellcat think the concerned parents here are exaggerating, you might want to look back and try to find the post where any of us said one in three men in a restroom are child molesters. None? Oops. Perhaps you are "exaggerating" for effect? Any person could be a child molester and you never know which one it might be. They don't wear special little hats to help us recognize them.
What we are (correctly) saying is that the child was endangered, and that a child molester would have had free reign to do what he wanted with her under the circumstances. It could have been the next guy who wandered in--or the hundredth. Is that numbers game one you would be willing to play with your OWN child?
I wish the OP had immediately called 911 to report he'd found an abandoned child in the men's room.
ReplyDeleteWhy anyone is knit-picking or haggling over the statistics on child abuse, neglect, or abduction is beyond me.
1:00, seriously! A moron is a moron and anyone who would shrug off the possibility invites disaster.
ReplyDeleteAnd I also wish he had because I think it's a safe bet from the nanny's reaction that this happens all the time and will happen many more times, hopefully by some miracle(s), WITHOUT disastrous consequences.
ReplyDeleteI have to mention that while most children (who are) sexually abused by people they know- those very same molesters are not stopping at their neighbors kid or their neice, they cannot stop themselves and molest MANY MANY children and will continue to until they are caught. They START with the ones they know but only until they branch out to the next opportunity. Do you really think that the molester who abuses his daughter happens upon a child alone in a bathroom he will not seize that chance? If one in 3 girls are molested then think about how many molesters there are!
ReplyDeleteI too think the police shold have been called, a crime WAS commited and that nanny would have been arrested.
To the person who said they would have called 911, that's exactly what I would have done. Are you surprised? You shouldn't be, because for the 50th time- I said it was horrible to leave a child unattended like that. I said it wasn't safe. The thing that got me was the way everyone worded their piece about "another guy," "the wrong guy" etc.
ReplyDeleteAnd for those who didn't say they'd call 911, looks like I've got more sense than you. That must hurt! ;)
For the record, I do not have one of those "it wont happen to me/my kid" attitudes
I'm so protective that I don't let my son wander out of the room in my own house without me following. Every night after he falls asleep I sneak into his room to make sure he is still breathing.
If whomever mentioned screen names was referring to me, it's not like my name is "QTgUrrRL1996"
I would never choose a name like Tommymommy or Ilovemybabies because I feel that I do in fact have an identity beyond my child.
Hellcat is a nickname I've had for a long time. Mostly because I fight tooth and nail for what I believe is right.
With that said, I won't be returning to this particular discussion. I'm sure if I did someone else will have put more words into my mouth and everyone else will be blowing up over that.
Just one more little "statistic" for those who enjoy picking at this thread....
ReplyDeleteBy the time ONE molester is caught, he/she has molested (on average) no less than 17 times...could be one child, or 17 children, and that's only based on abuse admitted to by perpetrator or victim, or witnessed by others. If anyone believes this doesn't/couldn't happen in their community, neighborhood, or family - you are in some serious denial, and THAT is one of the biggest reason why abusers get away with this atrocity. Think of all the children too young, too scared, too traumatized to tell anyone. Many of them will grow up into adults (priests and pastors, scout leaders, teachers, trusted neighbors, babysitters and nannies, and yes - aunts, uncles, parents or grandparents) who either continue to perpetuate this violence against other children, or become silent enablers (their only defense, a case of chronic denial or learned helplessness) This doesn't happen to EVERY abuse victim, of course. By some MIRACLE, many abuse victims become the most dedicated of child protectors and advocates.
And that's all I have to say about that.
12:40, is that a threat? Haha.
ReplyDeleteI'm an atheist.
oops, how could I forget?...it's all about you, jxj.
ReplyDeleteHuh, 5:12?
ReplyDeleteI was implying that your god-fearing pseudo threats regarding what I say do not affect me because I am not religious.
P.S. not everyone believes in YOUR lord. Save the scare tactics for the next time you go door to door handing out pamphlets at dinner time.
jxj,
ReplyDeleteNo "threat." But your comment was probably offensive to many. Courtesy is never out of style, no matter what your own beliefs may be. Interesting though that you felt scared. Could it be that somewhere inside you have a small doubt as to whether aetheism is possibly a dangerous way to go? You don't even need to answer me here. Its a personal choice and I am not trying to make you wrong in yours. But give it some thought sometime when you are not feeling threatened or pushed. There is a reason you felt scared or threatened by that fairly benign comment that opbvipously had far less to do with you personally than it did with some person not liking to see Gods name used that way.
I last hired a nanny in November of 2006. Her salary is 73K per year. On the books. I would not have hired her if she had children.
ReplyDeleteWhen my children were young, I hired a nanny who was 25 years old. She stayed with us for six years. When she got married, we paid for her wedding. When she became pregnant, we worked around her schedule. We did this because after 5 years, she was a part of our family. I would not hire a new person with any baggage. But if someone grew with my family and became a part of my family, I would do anything I could for them.
Beyond the salary.
i didnt read all the comments, i got stuck on the chances of the girl being raped in a public bathroom during the day being slim?
ReplyDeletewhat about the mom who let her 5 year old go to the bathroom at a park (public bathroom, of course) during the day... (a weekend no less, when it was busy) and went after her child 15 minutes later to find the tiny body raped and murdered, in a very graphic way?
daylight and the fact that the bathrooms are public do nothing to stop pedophiles who want to get their hands on those little kids.