Monday

$30 an hour?

Received Monday, March 3, 2008-Rant
I just phoned one of the most reputable nanny/domestic agencies in New York City in search of a nanny. I was informed that their nannies were being paid between $18 and $30 per hour, depending on the position. I won't say the name of the agency, least Isend them any business but $30 per hour for a nanny?

212 comments:

  1. They must be the "creme de la creme" of nannies? Or your pure "British nannies" ...
    I think it's slightly excessive.
    Depending on where you live, $20.00 is the normal rate, I think.

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  2. Maybe if you can't afford that, you should look elsewhere. If the nanny is worth $30 an hour and you can afford her, who cares? You know, $30 an hour for raising someone else's child really isn't all that bad. I pay almost as much for a manicure that takes half the time. Go figure that one out.

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  3. I get paid 15.00 for a 30 minute dog walk. I charge 25.00 to take them to the dog run for an hour. But of course, I don't stay with a dig 8 hours a day at that rate. I live just outside of Manhattan in NJ. I am a mature, expereinced childcare provider. I charge 15.00to 20.00 per hour, off the books, depending on the number of kids and if they are special needs. And please, no lectures about getting paid off the books. Where I live That's the rate and how most people want to pay. Berating me and preaching and wishing me evil is not going to make me change to working on the books.

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  4. You stated that you called one of the most reputable domestic agencies in one of the most expensive cities in the world and you are surprised at the quote? I would imagine that a top level agency would only offer top level nanny candidates and the range that they quote is very fair. Nannies who work with reputable agencies are unafraid to have thorough background checks, exhaustive reference checks, education verification, and the willingness to work legally. If you don't want to pay your caregiver $30, no one is going to force you. But that doesn't make someone out of line for asking - the agency was being up front about what they charge. If you can't afford it - or don't want to pay it - don't.

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  5. That doesn't surprise me in the least. I live in a small city where the cost of living is probably half that in Manhattan yet my hourly rate is within that quote.

    If this is one of the most reputable nanny agencies in the city, I'd say they probably know the going rate better than you do. If you can't afford to pay it, then you can't afford to pay it. That doesn't mean it isn't the going rate for nannies of that caliber.

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  6. I was placed at my current position in Manhattan by A Choice Nanny (http://www.achoicenanny.com/). I'm using their name here because they're fabulous and deserve all the business they can get. I make $1700/week working for a family with 3 children. I'm flexible with my hours, but on average I work 60 hours/week. That works out to be a little more than $28/hour. I wouldn't accept a penny less and I didn't have to negotiate to get my asking rate.

    This city has many very wealthy families who want the absolute best in childcare and the absolute best in childcare is to be had in this city.

    Perhaps I'm being overly sensitive, but your comment seems very thick with condescention, as if you mean to imply that people who work as nannies don't deserve to make $30/hour or are not worth that much.

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  7. 30 bucks an hour for a nanny from a highly reputable agency in a city such as NYC? sounds about right to me. you want top of the line, you pay for top of the line....no matter where you are.

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  8. I feel bad for the families that WANT a quality $30 an hr. nanny ... but can only afford a $15 to $20 an hr. nanny. Not that there is anything wrong with them, but I don't think they have as good of a background as the more expensive nanny. And there is a higher chance they will get lumped in with all the crappy park bench nannies.

    New dictionary term:

    park bench nanny - lazy slug

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  9. I was placed by ACN as well and I make $25/hour for a 40 hour week caring for one kid. I know lots of nannies at my charge's school who make more than I do

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  10. I'm glad to hear that at least some agencies out there are raising their starting rates to fall in line with cost-of-living. I live in Rochester, NY and the main agency here hasn't raised it's starting pay for over 10 years!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hello!? Needless to say I do not go through the agency b/c you can make more without them.

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  11. Actually the job we do is priceless. No one can put a price on a child's safety and well-being. But as nannies, we do have to SET a price. I just want to say, not all great nannies ask 30.00 per hour. Great care can be found in the 15.00 per hour range. I am quite happy earning 15.00 - 18.00 per hour. My experience is extensive and my references top notch.

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  12. Call the top House Cleaning Agency-
    see how much their house cleaners earn per hour.

    I bet you'll be surprised to see that they earn more...
    Sad to see the value of a clean house is worth more per hour than the care of children.

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  13. Let me start off by saying good nannies are priceless. You cannot put a price on the safety and well-being of your child.

    That said, nannies must SET a price for their services. Not all great nannnies cost $30.00 per hour. I am a nanny with excellent references and extensive experience and my circumstances allow me to charge $15.00 to $18.00per hour. When parents want to offer me $10.00 hour I look them in the eye and ask if they could live on that. $10.00 per hour, each. Agency nannies tend to be a bit pricer. The quality of service an agency provides varies greatly. Good luck in your search.

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  14. Depends on the nanny and the agency. I pay $20/hr net of taxes to my nanny/housekeeper (in NYC). She doesn't do both at once (either is watching dc or cleaning if I'm with dc). She works 40 hrs a week and is wonderful. I found her on my own. When I called a 'reputable' agency, they sent me candidates that were dressed like hookers for the interview. I finally asked one how she came to be with this agency. She said she just answered their ad in the NY Times, Does the agency charge a flat fee if you hire one of their people or is their fee dependent on the salary you offer???

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  15. I have to agree with Kate on this one. You sound a little resentful to be having to pay this much. Well my theory is, if you make enough money that you can justify living a life apart from your kids, then you make enough money to pay someone well to take your place. My per hour rate is a bit lower (but not by much at all) than that of the agency, BUT my benefits are amazing, and much better than what any of my nanny friends get. I also started in at this rate last year when I was 19, with ZERO nannying experience, just the typical teen babysitting. Luckily my family knew what I was going into and what I deserved. I honestly couldn't be happier. I have to say, I am a great nanny- and while not perfect- I do my job well. The family is very happy with my performance, and the kids are in love with me, as I am with them.

    There is no question in my mind, though, that if I move on, I will be asking for more money. It's too expensive to live around here, just to go out on the weekends with friends, to not be paid more. Much less the work I put in, and the stress that comes with the job.

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  16. all i have to say is that i need to work for that agency!!

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  17. This rate doesnt surprise me at all. In the brief time I had a nanny (manny), he was paid $20/hr on the books. OP, did you think you'd hear the sounds of many jaws dropping and get a whole bunch of sympathetic indignant posts outraged at the cost of hiring a professional to do an important job that you don't want to do yourself?

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  18. Calimom, why so condescending? Some people want nothing more to take care of their kids, but are not as fortunate as you are to be able to stay home. So please, lose the your air of superiority, you really aren't better than anyone else here.

    OP, that's not out of line for NYC. Fortunately, as someone else said earlier, good childcare can be had for about 20 per hour and maybe even a little less if you get lucky. If you live in NYC then factor in the cost of travel via mass transit and you are probably stuck in the 20 per hour range. I live across the river, in NJ and had to dome searching but found a terrific nanny for 14.00 per hour. Off the books, of course. She is awesome, and has been with us 2 years. Best of luck to you and ignore anyone putting you down here.

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  19. Dome=Do Some. my keyboard is sticking. Time to get a new one!

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  20. working mother
    $14 an hr.? off the books? Oh, your really doing your nanny and yourself a disservice.
    Tell me, what does your nanny do when tax time comes around? Does she collect off the books so that she can also collect welfare and food stamps because she has no reportable income?
    illegal, illegal, illegal ...
    What will she do later, when she retires, and has no money from social security because of people like you?
    You give all employers a bad name ... sorry, but it's the truth.
    And please don't tell me it's what your nanny wanted - you should tell her you insist on paying her legally ... and if she doesn't like it, she can hit the road and you find another nanny.
    By the way, since you pay so cheaply off the books - did you find her on craigslist or something? Definately not through a reputable agency, right? or else you'd be paying on the books, right?
    Well, I hope for your kids sake, someone doesn't spot your nanny on here.

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  21. Amen!
    "And please don't tell me it's what your nanny wanted - you should tell her you insist on paying her legally ... and if she doesn't like it, she can hit the road and you find another nanny."

    I had a nanny show up and TELL ME that she NEEDED to be paid off the books. I informed her that was illegal. She informed me that is what her last employers did. I informed her that she and her former employers were criminals and that I was not. She then said, "this isn't going to work out, we shouldn't waste any more of each other's time". I said, "Your correct. Thank you". As she was leaving, I said, "I'm curious as to what to do with your letter of reference. It has your employers name and address on it and I have your name and address. I think I should just forward a copy to the IRS". She just glared at me. I shut the door on her face. If I would have had the time, I would have turned her and her rat bastard of an employer both in.

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  22. 8:58, please come off that high-horse before you fall and hurt yourself.

    I am a nanny who works off the books, for 15 dollars per hour and is hired off of and advertises on Craigslist. I am 100% American. I paid for 21 years into the system working for the same company and when they decided I was making too much money, and they could hire someone younger to do my job for half my salary, they let me go. I collected unemployment and when that ran out, I went into childcare. And I have been seen on here-as a GOOD nanny sighting! I have never in my life collected welfare or taken food stamps, although I was quite eligible for both when my unemployment ran out. I could have easily went on the dole and had my housing, food and cash in my pockets courtesy of the taxpayers of the state of NJ. So if you are looking to judge anyone, please turn the spotlight on yourself.

    OP, I know nannies in NYC that make that kind of money and more. It's going to be hard to find someone cheaper but we are out there, and we are damn good.

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  23. High horse? Shocking that someone would want a legal employee taking care of their most precious assets. If you choose to work off the books, you choose to work without a safety net for a family that will not respect you and you will have no recourse if you are terminated unjustly. The same holds true for an employer - if your nanny disappears with your credit cards, doesn't show up for work, or decides that she wants more money, immediately, or else. When I nannied, I was hassled, pressured, and ultimately (and foolishly) took a position that was paid off the books. I worked tremendous amounts of unpaid overtime, missed out on paying into Social Security, disability, and unemployment for years upon years, and have no "verifiable" work record for several years of my life. When you work off the books, they only person who benefits is your employer who can underpay you, elect not to report they money they spend on you, and fire you at a moments notice with no negative consequences. A parent who employs someone off the book is taking a serious gamble, with their finances and their child. It is a tremendous mistake.

    If you are not able to afford a quality nanny, instead of taking advantage of people or breaking the law, why not try a quality day care center? There has been a shift in this country where everyone seems to think they're entitled to what they want and it is reflected in the attitude of nannies and parents. Until something changes, sites like this while thrive as poorly treated and unqualified caretakers take out their anger and frustration the only way they can - on the children.

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  24. I pay my American nanny who works from 12-8 M-F, $28 per hour on the books. I have children in middle school and she helps with their homework. On those occassions I have used a tutor, I was sent a college student who knew less and had no rapport with my child who charged $60-80 per hour. I found the ideal candidate and she wanted full time hours. She works 10-6 when the children have a snow day or no school. And she starts at 12 and runs errands for the children, my husband or myself. We also pay 100 percent of her medical insurance.

    I agree with Maggie's Mommy. If you cannot afford to hire a professional nanny (why would you leave your children with anyone else?) and pay her on the books, use a daycare.

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  25. If you are an employer paying under the table, or a nanny working off the books you ought to be ashamed of yourself, not to mention fined and incarcerated. Maybe you should take a look at the thread about illegal aliens below. You are behaving no better than they are. At least they have the excuse that thier allegiance is to another homeland and that they hold our country and our citizens in great disdain, so they feel great entitlement and satisfaction in raping us all. What's your excuse?
    Selfish and criminal is all it is, and no better than that.

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  26. Plenty of people work off the books. It's against the law but it's a fact of life. I don't think people who work or pay off the books are evil and I certainly donlt wish them any ill or misfortune. Live and let live I say. I don't preach to anyone how they ought to live their life because I am far too busy trying to correct the many inperfections of my own.

    Best wishes to you OP. The fees mentioned seem a little high to me as well but I have heard of those prices before. As indicated by other posters, there are good nannies out there willing to accept less, you just might have to invest some time to look for them.

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  27. Maggie's mommy, In NJ you have no recourse if you are fired anyway. It is an employ at will state. So unless your employer is foolish enough to actually say, in front of witnesses, they are firing because you are old, AA, have kids, etc. you find your ass out on the street. Much like what happened to the other poster after 21 years. I see no one is mentioning that aspect of her post. From what I read of her experience, she can hardly be treated with less respect than by her law-abiding former employers.

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  28. anon @ 11:01,
    either you are or you are not a part of society. we have to have rules. i don't want to live in a lawless society and i have no respect for the lawless. i am not preaching. how is preaching to say, obey the law? if you can disregard one law, than you can disregard another. pay off the books, litter, rape, burgle and pilage. all in a day's work.

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  29. 11:11 being a little dramatic aren't we? People break laws every day. The greatest offenders? Smokers. They flick their cigarettes out their car windows and litter all the time all day long. Do I think that nice soccer mom in her beemer SUV who just flicked her cigarette out her window is on her way to rob a bank, a rape someone, or (LMAO) pilage? By your reasoning, she very well could be. Let's be realistic. Even our society doesn't consider all crimes equal. That's why we have misdemeanors and felonies and white-collar prisons. Dramatic statements makes a valid point seem foolish. And that's all I will say on this.

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  30. burgle and pillage? now that's funny!

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  31. 11:29
    "Dramatic statements makes a valid point seem foolish. And that's all I will say on this."

    Do you mean statements like this, per chance?

    "People break laws every day. The greatest offenders? Smokers."

    But you make a good point. Since there are all of these dastardly soccer mom BMW driving smokers out there (And BTW your characterization sounds a little bitter, hon. Resent those BMW driving soccer moms much? I'm one and I do not smoke or commit crimes, thank you. In fact, most "soccer moms" don't smoke either.) I think I will go to Neiman Marcus this afternoon and shove a mink coat into my diaper bag. It's a little nippy today and I'm in the mood for a five finger discount. What's the difference? "Everybody does it." I mean, you may pay more next time you purchase any item of clothing in order to make up the difference in what ths store loses on my theft, just like I pay more in taxes to make up for yours, but hey, "live and let live."

    Maybe you'll want to visit a child molestation site next and give all the pervs a morale boosting pep talk? There are THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS of pedophiles out there, so that must be alright too?

    Where does the "logic" end in your "live and let live" fanasy world? Do YOU get to arbitrarily decide which crimes are acceptable and which arent't? Get real toots.

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  32. Don't try to reason with people like 11:53, Anonymous 11:29. They will twist anything you write so it fits their very limited vision.

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  33. Yes it is very difficult to make a good argument against a person who uses sound logic when you yourself lack the ability to even recognize it. Logic is so stifiling to those living in LaLaLand.

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  34. Living within the law now constitutes "Limited Vision?"

    Please excuse me. I have to go laugh out loud now.

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  35. 11:11 - If an at-will employment agreement is terminated without sufficient cause, the employee would be eligible for unemployment. Yet ANOTHER good reason to work on the books.

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  36. 12:05 oh don:t worry, I said I wasn't going to say anymore and I meant it. I know how these types work. They circle blogs like this like sharks, hijack a thread and go to town.

    And you better believe I certainly resnted the skank on River Road in Edgewater yesterday in her Beemer SUV who flicked her still lit cigarette butt out her window and it landed on the hood of my Odessy. Luckily, traffic was at a standstill, as it usually is there, and I was able to get out, get it and flick it back into her open window causing her to freak out. But I should have been more careful! After all she is a criminal! She might have pulled out a glock and blown me away! :D

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  37. I am laughing out loud at this. All the teenage girls in my area making a killing sitting on Friday and Saturday nights better watch out! They all get paid in cash. I never thought of Cloe, the honor student, co-captain of the cheer squad whom I pay fifteen per hour cash on Sat night as a felon but I guess she is. And the 10 year old triplets who run a lemonade stand almost every weekend in the summer down the road, I hope they are paying their taxes! It gets quite busy on those warm days! RIDICULOUS!!!!

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  38. 12:28 - I'm assuming you meant your post to be funny. It is not. There is no comparison between occasional cash positions that pay less then $1500 quarterly (those are the rules, I believe) and grown women who take upwards of $30,000/annually without any regulation or taxation. Your analogy is baseless and I'm sure you know it. And if "Cloe" was a baby-sitter in my area, she'd be charging a lot more then $10 hourly.

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  39. 12:35, too bad you can't read, I pay Cloe FIFTEEN per hour, the going rate for teens in this area.

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  40. I can read, I misread, I can admit when I'm wrong. Apparently you can't. And I'm guessing you can't spell either, since I would imagine the proper spelling of Cloe's name involves an H. Serves me right for getting sucked in by a troll like you. I would be posting anonymously as well if I had something to hide!

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  41. why are you all so angry?

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  42. That's how she signs all her cards to us so that's how I spell her name. And 24 years old with a baby and listed as Party Pants on your profile, I wonder, Is Maggie's father around?

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  43. She also seems very interested in menthol cigarettes. So good for baby.

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  44. 12:41 because people can't just let other people have opinions on here without getting nasty, Are you new to ISYN? This goes on here all the time! We have the comment about anonymous posting, then we will get the accusations and the word bootlicker will pop up.

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  45. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  46. From Maggies Mommy's bloghttp://tastemyemotion.blogspot.com/
    "I constantly steal bottles from daycare (I'll return it tomorrow, I swear!) "

    Thank goodness she doesn't live by her own rules r she'd turn herself in! LOL

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  47. Cloe with no H would have to work a ton of hours to be breaking the law, even at $15 an hour.

    I pay my college sitter cash, too. She babysits 1-2 Saturday nights per month and makes $20 per hour.

    If you don't want to live by the rules, get out of society. Go. Go live among the ruins somewhere. You can't have it both ways.

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  48. Previously known as 12:59,
    I so hate policing the comments.
    Be cool.

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  49. One of the many reasons I am in favor of The Fair Tax (fairtax.org) is because no one would be able to be "under the table" any more. Not legal citizens who choose to break the law, not illegals, no one.

    Because quite frankly, I greatly resent the fact that some people choose to break the law, and get rewarded for it with more money to spend.

    So, wipe out the IRS, institute the Fair Tax, and law breakers will start paying the same taxes the rest of us do.

    And Maggie's Mommy, I looked at your blog, and want to read more when I have a chance - nicely written stuff!

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  50. Chick - thanks for the compliment. I look forward to reading more about Fair Tax - it's not something I'm very familiar with.

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  51. If sanctimonious soapboxing were a crime, people posting here would be dragged from their computers in cuffs.

    It is ludicrous to compare a middle-aged woman working off the books trying to put food on the table and a roof over her head to a pedophile or rapist. I am not condoning working or paying off the books, but let's be realistic people.

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  52. Maggie's mommy, you are 24, a smoker, from the sound of your blog in a dead end job, have a baby and like to party and, admittedly immature. Your say you have a partner, so I take that to mean you are not married, which means your partner can leave anytime. Please, for the sake of your baby, get your own act together before advising others.

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  53. Good grief 2:38! Rude MUCH?

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  54. 2:58 you read all the other posts on here and ask, because I listed the facts from her blog, if I am rude. LOL

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  55. OOOOOOK, anyway back to the OPs original question. As others have stated, yes that rate is the going rate in NYC. Just think what the cost of living is. I do know for a fact that fine childcare can be had for less but please make sure you screen those candidates thoroughly. I hope you find a wonderful nanny!

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  56. Back to the OPs original issue.

    I've said it before and I'll say it again: salaries on ISYN are hugely inflated and not representative of the real world. This blog is a very tiny section of nannies and employers.

    About 6 months ago I did an exhaustive full time nanny search in NYC on the UES. I interviewed many people from CL, sittercity, and personal referal. I considered hiring one ft person or two pt people. I have 3 kids. By far the asking rate was $15 an hour cash for part time. This seemed to be the number regardless of experience or age. Some of the younger sitters asked $13/hr and one person asked $18 (and was the least qualified!). Not one had any interest in being paid on the books. For full-time the asking range was $600-700 (as I have 3 kids), but several people were coming from positions where they were being paid $550-600 with 1 or 2 kids.

    I have used Babysitters Guild for emergency care. They charged $25/hr and the sitters have been average - not terrible, not great.

    In the past I have used agencies including two of those mentioned earlier in this thread. I always asked the nanny how they got to the agency. This much I can now state with certainty: Agencies recruit from the same sources as parents doing their own search! This includes CL, sittercity, Irish Echo, and NY Times. Agencies charge more primarily because they have overhead and also need to make money. Yes, they do a background search but this is nothing a parent cannot do themselves very easily. I never ended up hiring from an agency and knowing what I know now would never use one again.

    So, OP, the numbers the agency quoted you and some being mentioned above are outliers. I am not commenting on the fairness in any way as there have been plenty of people doing that already. I am just presenting real-life numbers.

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  57. RE: inflating numbers and the $700 people are asking for. First, the thought of anyone pulled off Craigs list through any means makes me want to shit in helmet, but $700 take home is like $1,000 net. And it is because of you fools that pay your jerky nannies $15 cash per hour off the books that salaries have been driven up for professional nannies. Yes, think about it. A professional nanny, an educated nanny who can speak, read and write English- JUST for starters should not be making anywhere near the salaries of the MASS of nannies I see everywhere. I know these nannies. They couldn't assist a third grader with his homework, they walk at a snails pace so I can't imagine how they would chase a child running in the street, none of them swim and they all have negative attitudes and perma grimaces on their angry faces. So STOP paying these nannies, no wait STOP hiring these awful woman as nannies and you will drive the nanny salaries BACK down.
    I don't think saying the numbers are "inflated" is correct.

    And as for inflated numbers on salary and bonus relults-Obviously, the sort of nanny who can go on a blog and spar head to head with a mommy with a masters in her pocket isn't your run of the mill junk yard nanny. The numbers are not inflated. The blog is read by nannies of a greater caliber, nannies who tend to work for wealthy families and a range of employers from the middle class to the very wealthy. How complicated is this for you to understand?

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  58. but $700 take home is like $1,000 net.

    I meant
    but $700 take home is like $1,000 gross.

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  59. 9:28
    What's your point?

    You get paid off the books, and seem quite proud of it. You don't collect welfare, or food stamps ... good for you. But what happens now when you get thrown out on your ass? Will you be able to collect unemployment like you did at the last job you lost??
    (Oh wait, there's MY point!)

    And I never called "working mother" unamerican. I said what she was doing was illegal.
    So why the suggestion that you are 100% American? ... it had nothing to do with my comment.

    maggies mommy
    I'm sorry some people have to hit below the belt and get personal by checking out your blog just to get ammunition ... THEY SUCK!!

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  60. 3:44: don't you realize that $15 in cash is equivalent at the end of the day to about $22/hour if you were doing your civic & employer-ly duty to both your nanny and your country?

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  61. no she doesn't realize that. she's not too bright. so the bench nannies are making the equiv of $22an hour, why wouldnt the good nannies make $30? (ON THE BOOKS)

    I really enjoy the comments by maggie's mom and like your blog too! Sorry that some anonymous bozo is subjecting to you ad hominem attacks, the very definition of a TROLL.

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  62. Actually a troll is someone who continues to sidetrack threads with things that have nothing to do with the topic, that includes you 6:26 and 6:29.

    So can you all please shut up about the off the books crap already.

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  63. The "off the books crap" relates directly to the post, so I resent being called a "troll", 6:42.

    This post is about how much elite nannies (or those from one of the "most reputable agencies) in New York City make. It's completely relevant to talk about how if one family pays X amount on the book and another pays X amount under the table the net salaries are different.

    Since you think I took things so far off topic as to be labled a "troll", what exactly do you think the topic is?

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  64. Agencies do not automatically = higher caliber of nanny. Most agencies do not require any type of graduate education. To assume that you are getting a more educated or more intelligent nanny by using an agency is a sad fallacy.

    Some of the worst sitters I've ever had were "educated" students. One of the best was a wonderful, kind woman who had only a high school degree. Nothing wrong wtih a degree in ECE, but unless the job requires tutoring older kids I don't thing it has anything to do with the quality of care you are going to get.

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  65. Maggie's Mommy,
    Some posters here that I respect and tend to agree with(like Chick) have recommened your blog. I would like to read it too, since I enjoy clever writing (and am able to take things with a sense of humnor, which it sounds like you may have.) I understand if you don't want to give the information out right now with so many crazy attackers at your throat. But sometime can you tell me how to check it out?

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  66. You must be new to this whole blog thing, 8:49! Of course Maggie's Mommy wants all the publicity she can get and of course she's pasted the link to her blog all over this site. That's the way it's done. If you look at her comments you'll see that her name is in blue, it's a link. Click on it and presto, you'll have access to Maggie's info & blog.

    Like magic.

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  67. OK. Learn something new every day. I am not a big blogger. I have been here on this site for several months now, but have not gone to any others.

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  68. I am sure she gets a good amount of hits off Jane. and not to bring up 2As but do you know what you did for her link traffic by following her link? Unlike Maggie's mommy, she had nothing to offer, in fact purposely posted bait and you ran it. You probably made her some google bucks.

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  69. When I decided to make childcare my career, I had every intention of doing so on the up and up. I went out, looked for and landed several interviews. Not one family was willing to pay me on the books. In need of work I took a job off the books for 16.00 per hour. When I was working in an office, I earned 17.00 per hour and took home 508.00 per week.that works out to a little less than 3 dollars taken out per hour in taxes, so 6:26 your numbers are a wee bit off. Now I work less hours, love my job and take home more pay. I attend many play dates and don't know of a single nanny earning more than 20.00 per hour or who is paid on the books. I always thought being paid on the books was the norm and under the table was rare but in the nanny worked, at least here in Northern NJ, it seems the opposite is true. I work in a well to do neighborhood where the majority of parents commute to NYC. The going rate is 16-10 per hour, off the books here.

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  70. I am a nanny in upstate NY, no one here wants to pay on the books either so I request pay that reflects what I need when I file as an indep. contractor at the end of the year.

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  71. I mean the going rate is 16-20 per hour off the books.

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  72. 8:49 and 9:01 here. I never followed 2As link or read her blog. (I now do recall that I realized there was a link at the time.) My time is limited and I had no interest in her whatsoever, as she was clearly a nutjob. Thank goodness I never entered her sick world. Demons probably would have jumped right out of the comuter screen at me.

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  73. "deamons" ???? now WHO'S the nutjob? hahhaahahahaha

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  74. 8:32, my response was a reaction to what I perceive as OP's sneering at the very notion of paying a market rate salary to a professional to handle an important job that you can't do yourself.

    If you make a negligible amount after paying a fair salary to a good nanny, you are probably better off taking care of your kids yourself. If the $5/hr that you bring home after paying the nanny is REALLY indispensable for you, you need to move to an area where the cost of living is not so high. Or look into options other than hiring a nanny.

    I am lucky I can stay home with my little guy but I'm by no means living high on the hog. Things are very tight, but at least I can spend the time with him and know he is well cared for.

    Funny that you pull up a soapbox and point a finger at me yet you brag about breaking the law and screwing your employee.

    And regarding all the comments below, it's just as silly to compare a high school babysitter who makes $100/mo with a FT nanny who makes $50k/yr off the books as it is to compare a rapist/bank robber/murderer with someone who tosses a cigarette out of a car window.

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  75. 12:56

    Your premonition hasn't come to fruition.

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  76. 6:35, then my post did it's job. :)

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  77. nutt: My numbers are based on living in New York City, paying both NY State & City taxes. I don't believe my numbers are off at all. I used one of the many paycheck calculators you can find on line. Feel free to go to one and check my work.

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  78. Workingmother, Ignore Calimom. She is one of those here who decries all the flame wars and drama but actually thrives on it. I saw what she posted, and it was snarky and rude but she will never admit that. Instead, she will just post long-winded explanations to make herself sound right. Smart people see through this. After all, how can anyone misunderstand the statement "..of hiring a professional to do an important job that you DON'T WANT TO DO YOURSELF."

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  79. I think you're confusing being rude with having a bias.

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  80. 12:29 For a person obviously unable to take a joke you sure do laugh a lot.

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  81. Please oh please tell me we're not starting the bigot discussion again--especially when so many of you clearly have no concept of what the term actually even means.

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  82. No one mentioned the word bigot except you, 9:36. Everyone has biases, there's absolutely nothing wrong with them unless they cause you to treat people poorly. I'm not sure where you got the idea that anyone had brought up bigotry.

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  83. yea $30 an hour really isnt that bad... especially living in NYC. isnt that place expensive to live in? I know of more expensive ones too, out here in Cali.

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  84. I will say, in my experience, it's odd to find a $30/hour nanny because after a certain point, usually about $25/hour, things move to a salary based system. I know plenty of nannies who make $1800-2000/week, which is way over $30/hour for a 40-50 hour week. But, they don't count their hours, they're available whenever the family needs them (usually with the exception of weekends).

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  85. 7:54, was there some purpose to your post other than venting your general frustration with life and your envy of SAHM's?

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  86. SAHM's are largely lazy, whiney, resentful, jealous, bitter, bored women who don't hve the talent or smarts to balance their lives.

    Puuuuleassseeee.

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  87. Calimom, Obviously you have hit the nail right on the head with your 1:15 post. Clearly her brain exploded at 1:21! hehehee

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  88. LOL, ok. Thanks for answering the question.

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  89. We posted at the same time! Yes, clearly whatever she does to earn her paycheck bores the crap out of her.

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  90. What I get from these people who balk at $30 an hour is that they don't think nannies deserve a fair and living wage. I've made over $30 an hour for years, I'm not exactly driving an Astin Martin in Los Angeles. I rent and hope to buy this year as the housing prices are coming down and it will be cheaper to buy then rent.

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  91. I agree, these career SAHM's have nobody fooled, you are only needed at home full time for 3-4 years. LAZY

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  92. And obviously you are one of the ones who can't afford to pay someone $30/hr to love your children for you.

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  93. Most of the nannies I know, working on or off the books, take home approximately the same amount. Let's say $600 a week, The employer either pays $600 off the books, or $900 on the books. In the off the books case, it is the employer who is saving $300, not the nanny.
    I disagree that eliminating off the books hiring would drive elite nanny salaries down. If all the nannies who are not legal to work were eliminated, there would be fewer nannies available, and more competition among employers to hire the best. It will drive mediocre nannies salaries up.

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  94. Well paid,, congrats on the fabulous car. We used to have an Aston Martin Lagonda convertible and driving one of those is an experience not to be described.

    Yes, really GREAT nannies ARE performing an invaluable service and deserve to be paid very well.

    Being a SAHM is very nice in that, yes, you work your butt off for the first several years until one and all children have eneterd school, but then you have a lot of free time during the days to either rejoin the workforce or do fun things by yourself again. My husband has no problem with my "not working" because, as he points out, I "worked" minimum 18 hour days for years and years and now deserve to have some time to enjoy myself, as I have definitely "earned" it.

    You might want to consider this: There is no possible reason to attack somebody else's lifestyle (if they are not hurting anybody else with it)unless you are SUPREMELY JEALOUS. I run across your type from time to time--those bitter pinched biddies who resent my "having it so easy." Get over it. A blissful SAHM.

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  95. Oops Well Paid, I misread your post about the car. (I was wondering how you misspelled it if you are an owner.)But the AM is one fantastic car anyway.

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  96. Actually, I stayed home with my ONE child living off of $ I EARNED from selling a business. I was home FT until he was 3 and in pre K at which time I launched another business working only while he is in school- which I STILL do 10 years later. BALANCE. I work a grand total of 15 -30 hours a week, much from home and spend 4 mo of the year traveling. I COULD afford a nanny had I wanted one- I instead planned ONE child and have kept my lifestyle intact as well as can afford theTIME and $ it takes to raise a child RIGHT. I have it all thank you very much- with the exception of a miserable marriage and cash cow husband- as I don't need one!

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  97. Why do people hate Craig's list so much? I am a nanny for special needs children who was hired from CL! I am loved by the family and child I am with and I love them. I charge a modest 15.00 per hour, I know it's a bit low for someone with special needs experience but the family I work for isn't rich and their child wouldn't do well in a daycare facility, even one catering to special needs. I take great offense to people talking down about people from Craig's List. Especially those who do so in such an eloquent and ladylike manner as Mrs.

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  98. OH, also I just want to add. All the nannies I know are paid off the books and none make over $20. per hour. And they are all very good. I'm not trying to restart the argumant over that, that dead horse seems to have been beaten enough, but it IS a fact.

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  99. 2:01 I was reading your post and nodding along all the way with agreement and admiration for your finding a way to make things work so beautifully for yourself and your child. I was sorry and disappointed to see your dismal view of men and marriage at the last. I am guessing you had a very bad experience somewhere along the way? Maybe you will one day find somebody wonderful to love and realize that marriage can be a wonderful thing, for yourself and especially your child. Good luck to you.

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  100. 7:54, Oh no worries. Whatever her opinion is, she is welcome to it. I stated my case, I feel no need to further defend myself.

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  101. Calimom is fast becoming the new "SHE"

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  102. Oh brother 9:50. Everybody loves calimom's posts. She's a little off the wall sometimes, but that's part of her charm, and part of why we love her here. So let up and get a life.
    If you think the "regulars" here stuck up for one another before, you aint seen nothing yet. Your kind is not going to ruin this blog with your stupidity and instigating.
    If you don't want a flame war between the regulars and the "anons" how about not working so hard to start one every day, idiot. (Yes, you're an idiot.) As far as I have seen it's the insecure anons (not all anons, some of them have very thoughtful posts that we all enjoy)who can't get a grip. If the "regs" support one another it's only because your kinds of stupid comments force it. It's no mafia b****. It's self defense.

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  103. waaaaaa!!! whine whine whine


    boofreakinhoo

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  104. notice the revised comment policy.

    er hummm

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  105. No, I hadn't seen that. Maybe Jane will forgive me this one, under the circumstances? I doubt she enjoys the constant attacks either.

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  106. 9:50 - I could not agree more.

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  107. Why can't people just comment on the post instead of dragging each other down?

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  108. 10:47
    Off the wall is right. So is sprak and a couple of others. But I love them and think they are funny as hell!

    Love your post by the way!!

    "It's no mafia b****. It's self defense."

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  109. 10:47, actually, no, everyone does not love her posts. Some of us happen to think she is quite full of herself, and very snide. She doesn't just state her opinions, which sometimes are quite insightful, but she does so in a way that makes some of us feel like she thinks she is above us all. She's been called condescending and superior in her tone and I think both these words fit well. More than one person has gotten into it with her here and no longer post. I just laugh and ignore her when she starts. People who constantly talk down to others usually do so to feel better about themselves are not worth my time or energy. That's why when I post and she starts I will give her one response, if I feel I need to restate or explain further and then I ignore her. I watched this blog for several months before I decided to start posting. I know her type. They need to have the last word, it's vital to them. And they need to be right, always. So, I let them. I don't believe in constant back and forth with people like her. They are closed-minded and nothing anyone says or does will change their thinking so why bother? And no matter what you say, they will change it around so it fits their thinking. So, that's all I will say on the subject of Calimom. I just wanted to make it clear that not everyone here is a fan.

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  110. Calimom and Sprak,
    Love ya girls! Don't ever change!

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  111. Working mother,
    It is impossible to tell tone on a computer. I think you are maybe being a little sensitive and possibly a little insecure.

    Having firm opinions (I have them myself) does not mean that you think you are above everybody else, it simply means you're passionate about what you say.

    Calimom is a riot!

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  112. working mother
    I see cali mom, sprak and some of the others as occasionally being very sarcastic ... but I happen to adore that kind of personality - but I know that not all people do.

    Some of these posters are going to have their fans, and if they're really controversial ... they will also have some adversaries - it goes with the territory.
    I know you and cali mom got into it on another post ... don't remember what about, but let bygones be bygones.

    I love a great post with plenty of fire and opposing opinions, but we need to stop the nastiness.

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  113. I totally agree. Differing opinions make it fun. But that doesn't mean we need to call each other terrible mothers or insult each other's children. What's that all about?
    I sort of laughed a few weeks back when a poster said she had gone anonymous after somebody suggested she ought to be forcefully sterilized in a fight about candy--because I can so see that happening. But really, that's going overboard. (Unless it was a joke that didn't come through as a joke because you just can get sarcasm on a computer.)And attacking certain posters just because they use a moniker and are easy targets--not nice.
    Go ahead and say you hate somebody's opinion. But don't start an "I hate so and so" attack. That's just pointless and mean, and a waste of everybody's time. And it makes it not so fun to come on here when that keeps happening all the time.

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  114. 10:07
    Nice post. We should make copies and disperse it to all blogs!


    Who's the "Caped Crusader" at 10:47?
    Your post is fantastic!

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  115. 10:07, your post makes a lot of sense, and I think Working Mother's does as well. Cali Mom can be quite harsh at times and she never seems to want to admit that her comments could be misconstrued. What gives her the right to tell someone they don't want to stay home with their kids or they want to pay someone else to love them? Those kinds of remarks can be very personal to people who aren't in the position to stay home. She found a way to do so good for her, but to look down her nose ar sound like like she does at others who weren't so fortunate makes her seem quite rude and she just takes a flippant attitude. Sarcasm is easily lost on the computer and I will admit, I don't use a moniker because I feel if I disagree with Cali Mom or one of the other 'regulars' I will be attacked and made to feel unwelcome. It is the air this place carries. This is a concern that has been voiced by others here. No one can help but notice the increasing numbers of anonymous posters. I applaud working mother for not allowing her disagreement with Cali Mom to drive her away. And I don't think she is at all insecure. I also applaud her for posting her opinion, sure to be in the minority, and putting her moniker to it. I usually don't get into these disagreements on here but I wanted to post my opinion as well.

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  116. 10:57
    Bravo to you, and to Working Mom.
    A little bit of banter back and forth is harmless ... but some people take it too far.

    I also applaud those that use monikers and don't let anyone push them around. Working Mom and Cali mom had a disagreement, and both stood their ground. As long as it doesn't get into petty name calling, we should value each and every opinion.

    I will say that I feel bad for those that have decided to stop using their monikers and gone anonymous ... it's not only the occasional posters, but quite a few regulars, too.
    You can only take so much ...

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  117. MPP thank you. Just because I don't like Calimom's style or attitude on here doesn't mean I would call her nasty names or that I dislike her personally. I don't know her at all and I am sure she is a very good mother. And we do share the common bond of motherhood and being human beings which entitles us all to basic respect. It's unfortunate when people resort to personal attacks, and name calling such as bitch, or C U Next Tuesday. Those sorts of names are best reserved for people who truly deserve them, like women who abuse their children. I also try never to call someone and idiot or stupid. Even if their posts seem like that to me, it's really not nice. Sometimes, people just say things the wrong way and sometimes they hold a belief that's old school, or unpopular. Truly ignorant or stupid people join organizations Like gangs or racist groups. They hate people because of where they live, or their race or religion.

    Anyone here can feel anyway they like about any post I make. All I expect is if anyone is going to make a judgement about me or how I live and run my life you better be prepared to get an "earful" back! :)

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  118. fyi
    Sprak is in Macedonia for the month.

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  119. Well, I'm always prepared for an earful, but some people seem to think I shouldn't be allowed to give one. *shrug*.

    As for the statement "What gives her the right to tell someone they don't want to stay home with their kids or they want to pay someone else to love them?", it was a response to the original post, which expressed incredulity and indignation at the going rate for the "most reputable" (direct quote) nannies. (" I won't say the name of the agency, least Isend them any business but $30 per hour for a nanny?")

    I may just as well ask what gives anyone the right to tell nannies their services are not worth $18-$30/hr, but I know what gives them the right.

    Again, if you don't like the idea of forking over that much of YOUR salary, find another option. If you don't like the idea of hearing someone else's (possibly harsh) opinion on the topic, don't post and ask for feedback.

    OP, I realize it isn't you who is the primary objector to being forced to read my posts. You may not like them but at least you are sensible enough to acknowledge that I have as much right to post here as anyon else. And for the posters who have said they enjoy what I have to say, thanks!

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  120. Cali Mom, to use your own words back at you, could you miss my point anymore? I guess you could and did But, like I said I don't get into these sorts of debates, I was just posting my opinion in support of those who don't think your posts are all that wonderful.

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  121. Mary Poppin Pills--


    You wrote:
    "§marypoppin'pills§ said...
    10:07
    Nice post. We should make copies and disperse it to all blogs!


    Who's the "Caped Crusader" at 10:47?
    Your post is fantastic!"

    I wrote BOTH of those posts. I'll bet if you think about it you can probably guess who I am (although I usually don't talk like I did at 10:47...going anon is a bit "freeing"... so there's one more hint for you.)

    If you do guess, plese keep it to yourself for now. ;)

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  122. 10:47 and 10:07 here again. Working Mom, I'm not meaning to flame you for sticking up for Calimom. I'm just really tired of people attacking regulars just because they can. Whoever it was that called her "She" really rubbed me the wrong way.

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  123. Anon at 1:33, since I don't know who you are or what other posts you've made or which one you are referring to here, then I'll agree that I must have missed it. Oh well.

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  124. I happen to agree with workingmother. Calimom's tone is often condescending and judgmental is her norm. She also posts MANY times on every thread and must have the last word. She is entitled to her opinions and it's fine to share them. But is it necessary to insist they dominate every single topic on here, right down to the very end? I do not know of any other "regular" (Mom, Sprak included) who are as critical of others, or as repetitive in posting.

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  125. Missing:
    One poster by the name of "mom".
    She is described as a mother, a wife and a blogger. She is very opinionated and funny. She has loads of interesting stories that quite a few people miss. If found, please contact ISYN.
    Thank you!

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  126. Damn, what is it, "Bash Cali-mom Day"?
    Get a grip people. You talk incessantly about her behavior on these boards, but you're not thinking about yours.
    Cut it out, please.

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  127. Ditto. Everybody needs to just chill. Kick back. And have a coke and a smile.

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  128. 2:11/caped crusader

    I thunk and I thunk ... and I don't know who you are. I have an idea or two, but am not sure.

    This will let me know ...
    A long, long time ago in a land far away, did you ask who I was previously (before I changed my moniker), and where I was from?

    If you answer this correctly, then I win the prize!

    And don't worry, your secret is safe with me. I understand because I was incognito for quite awhile myself.

    However, if I am wrong ... I need another clue! ☺

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  129. 5:13, someone on here decided to speak for everyone and say we all love Calimom's posts. It looks like several people have taken exception to that and decided to post their own opinions of her posts. That's not bashing. And, given the nature of her posts, I am sure she is loving all the attention.

    4:17 I could not have said it better myself!

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  130. I will speak up and say I love the variety of posts. I love that people don't agree. I find myself learning to appreciate some parts of arguments of people I would normally dismiss as ignorant. Do I love Cali Mom's posts? Not always, but I do love that she always has something to say. And caped crusader, who are you? And most importantly, Mary Poppinz; do I know who you are? I have just one question, do you have a nephew?

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  131. If I said yes ... would that be good or bad? ☺

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  132. That would be killer.
    As in awesome.
    I hoped it was.

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  133. mary poppin pills.
    You got it! ;)

    And now I know that you ARE who I thought you were. *smile* You only told me before that I was right when I guessed at who you were, but you were anon then. I asked where you were a few weeks back, right? But nobody answered. :(

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  134. cali mom, We love you!

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  135. 1:10 PM speak for yourself, please.

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  136. Calimom,
    I love your posts, and so do a lot of other people here! Don't let the haters get you down! You are priceless!

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  137. Is MPP famous??????? hmmmmmmm...

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  138. famous? maybe. maybe not. But she is a darling.

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  139. Cali mom is always putting in her 2cents...which is exactly what her opinions are worth!

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  140. 1:10 and 1:19, please take your Cali Mom cheer leading team and start your own blog. thank - you.


    1:28 and the rest of the Cali Mom haters, please follow the cheer leaders and start your own blog.

    It's very frustrating to see several new comments have been added only to check them and see more of the same nonsense. I for one come here to read ALL the comments and to add my own opinion to interesting, worthwhile discussions. I am sure many here feel the same.

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  141. Calimom rocks...on ISYN!

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  142. Eyes, you're wasting your time. the people you are addressing are too damn selfish and immature to take heed. They won't be happy until the blog is overrun by their BS. I, for one miss FNG. She was only here a short while but had great opinions. I rarely come here now and only to look hardly ever to post. It's always the same stuff over and over. But, since Eyes brought it up, I put this question out. How many here are sick of the Haters AND the cheerleaders constantly getting into it nowadays?

    I am.

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  143. 1:35
    We are sorry to have "psyched" you out - as I'm sure before you clicked on, you saw many others had posted ...

    but please leave your opinions, they are just as valuable as everybody elses!

    1:20 - I know who u are
    ;)

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  144. 2:29
    I thought fng had great opinions, also. Don't worry, she's still around. Alot have gone anon because of the BS.
    Everybody needs to lighten up - you are 100% correct, on BOTH sides.

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  145. if i'm not mistaken, i think fng said a week or two ago that she was over it.
    but this place is so addicting, i don't think most just up and disappear, they just stop posting for awhile and then come back as anon or a new name. and it sucks for those that really liked them because then it's hard to figure out who was who.

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  146. Caped Crusader
    It sucks that you took off, but I get it. Hope you come back soon, or give me a sign, ok?

    ReplyDelete
  147. Caped crusader is here.

    I changed my tact after that post however.
    I decided I was unlikely to make anybody want to stop the hating when I myself was calling them bad names in response. (You know what they say, "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.")

    I am one of the cheerleaders now. I figure a positive message never hurts anybody and may help the one being senselessly attacked know how much we appreciate them being here. (I know it always made me feel a little more appreciated when the haters were after me.)The "cheerleading" will stop when the hateful attacks stop.

    Fair enough?

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  148. ERTTS I couldn't agree more. I came to this thread thinking there had been new discussion but it's all about "the new she" as someone else called her. And I am not saying that because I think "The New She" is on the same level as the old she, but because I am sick to death of reading her name, from both her haters AND her fans!

    Caped Crusader, the haters are never going to stop as long as they are getting a response. So maybe the cheerleaders could be the better people and not respond? See if that works. At least we would only be seeing half the BS remarks.

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  149. I was shocked when I figured out that was you, but I must say I was proud. I know that was out of character. I'm glad you're an undercover cheerleader now, because maybe if some of the anon's felt more welcome, they wouldn't be attacking us as much ... at least I hope.

    I will continue to call you Caped Crusader then - because you will be bringing Justice to all! ;)
    Take care, my friend.

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  150. CC
    you know who they are referring to as "the new she", and it isn't nice. why do that? even if they don't like the post, why respond? why can't we like who we like? they certainly hate who they wanna hate. it's so disappointing that these women would lower themselves so much, i know they are classier than that.

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  151. 4:43
    I get what you're saying, but sometimes they can be relentless. A negative posting will (sometimes) go unanswered, but then here we go - another insult will pop up with someone in agreement. It's terrible, and I don't undertand why some people get off on hurting others. I honestly try to come to other posters defense when I can, including anonymous people. But sometimes I worry that they will flame me right back, and that makes it worse, and then you have an entire post filled with hateful remarks.

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  152. Yes, it's a shame that we even have to talk about it so much. But I don't want any more people feeling like they have to leave because everybody has turned on them. A lot of us do like the named posters and look forward to seeing them here. If you don't, why not just avoid reading their posts and move on to the next? Then there would be no "us against them" mentality at all. "I hate so and so" is beyond immature, especially since none of us even know any of the others in the first place.

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  153. and see jxj as an example ... she uses a moniker and gets attacked, (by anonymous haters) -
    would they be doing that if she were also anonymous?
    - and she's NEW! i figured they were only after the regulars.

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  154. I am a nanny and i don't get paid 30 per hour. Not even close to 20. But my family treats me well with open communications as i am like the big sister to the wonderful three year old girl. I understand money can be tight for families and nannies from time to time but I'd rather look for family that's compatible than high pay. Parents, if you give your nanny all the best you can afford (even if not 30 or 20 per hour) i am sure your nanny will understand and will love your children with all her/their heart)

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  155. Wow, thanks cheerleaders. Sorry haters.

    Where's mom? I thought I saw her on another thread yesterday but I'm not sure. Come on back please! :)

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  156. I thought so, too - but you never can know for sure. I think she just hasn't been around as much, and when she is, might just post anonymous because of all the BS that's going on. She took alot of crap a couple weeks ago and probably needed the vacay! maybe she went to Hawaii? ;)

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  157. And of course the new SHE has to come on and knock the thread Right back off topic. Whats the matter, one person posted something not centered on you and you couldn't stand it?

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  158. Hey calimom'
    "mom" says to tell you you're not alone.
    8:00 is a smart woman.

    ReplyDelete
  159. Oh, and 10:29...not so much.

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  160. Oops, make that 10:09...not so much. (Which, of course, begs the obvious insults, since I wrote 10:29 myself! hhahaha) Have at it anonymous haters. This one's a freebie. Knock yourselves out all night long. I'm going to bed.

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  161. 10:09
    You just had to come on and stir things up, didn't you? This thread was going pretty well until you showed up.

    See what we mean everybody ... those that are bothered by the drivel that spouts from anonymous people like 10:09 will see that there's just no way of getting away from that kind of crap.

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  162. I agree. I see everybody chatting along merrily, and some jerk has to chime in and ruin things.

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  163. You're doing well Caped Crusader!
    I've 'seen' your work ... ☺

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  164. What I see was the thread going back on topic and SHE came along and turned it back to HER again with her 7:53 PM post. And 1:40 am You are posting under anonymous too so I guess you spout plenty of drivel as well.

    As long as you cheerleaders keep praising the New She, those of us that can't stand her will keep speaking our minds as well. And anytime SHE hijacks a thread, or gets obnoxious we will slap her down.

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  165. LOL. Impotent much 12:22? You want some slappin, bend over honey.

    At least I know you're like me, stuck at home on a Saturday night. I can only assume that in your case, it's NOT because you are taking care of your young child.

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  166. 12:22
    I don't think the thread was so much going back on topic, but I did want to point out that the whole cheerleader thing is NOT just for the regulars, it's for the anonymous and newbies, too. I would hope you've noticed that a couple of each had been slammed over the past few days ... not just cali mom.
    There are a few of us (and yes, I'm a regular) that want it to be just a bit calmer around here.

    I think if a thread has some back and forth action, whether it's about the topic at hand or not (and especially an older one like this where the topic isn't really active anymore) ... then have at it. It's the insults that have got to stop, and if you hate someones opinion, fine - and if it makes you feel better tell them, but why flame each other? It takes the fun out of it.

    And just a sidenote: You say you don't like cali mom's responses, but as long as she is being flamed, she has an absolute right to defend herself. Maybe if people were to cut it out ... she'd quit.

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  167. I'd love a spanking, i've been a very bad girl!

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  168. 12:22 , 12:54, and 7:10 YAWN!!!
    in other words, grow up ALL of you.

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  169. 12:54, If I were you I wouldn't be bragging about being home with your young child on a Saturday night. After all, you are on the computer at 12:54 AM. What's the matter, no one want you in their bed?

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  170. I can't speak for Cali Mom, but I know my husband is done in time for Scott Clark's sports report of -and asleep before Nightline starts, so I get up and surf the NET or go downstairs and watch trash tv. It's my only me time. The middle of the night.

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  171. I work odd hours and so does my husband so our only together time in late night, after the kids are asleep. Thank God he could not care less about sports! Fishing is another matter! :D

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  172. Yeah, but The New She posts all the time day and night. And her posts go on and on and on. She must have a LOT of time on her hands. What a sad and lonely life. Maybe that's why She is so obnoxious in her posts. Frustration maybe?

    Oh well, I have better things to do than talk about The New she all day. Gotta go out and live life!

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  173. 12:48, Bye! (Till next time that is.)

    12:22 PM, you DO realize there are different time zones on the planet, right? And that cali stands for California? And that California is in a different time zone from NY? I'll give you some time now to do the math. Raise your hand when you've figured it out.

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  174. 10:31
    I'm sorry you took such a dislike to my 7:10 post. I thought it was rather nice - but I see where that got me. Anyway - how cool that it did open up another topic about what brings everyone here and why. My reasons are the same as Heidi's ... I like to spend my "me" time playing on the computer if I'm not out doing something productive.

    Anyway - great posts, ladies.

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  175. Cali mom -
    I do love it when you get slammed, BUT their slam SUCKS! Good job making the ass at 12:22 look like a fool. That's what they get for trying to one-up you. I think it's a safe bet you won that flame war -- CONGRATULATIONS!!

    10:31 -
    "Yawn"? That's all you got?? You tell us to grow up .... but it must be past YOUR bedtime. You're nothing but an immature little puss that has to knock other people's posts to make yourself feel all big and bad. I bet you're trying to make up for all that bullying you went through in high school. Tell me, did you get your lunch money stolen a lot? Did you get your ass kicked or teased every day?
    I bet you're nothing but some big, fat cow that has no life and no friends so you hide behind a computer just so that you can pitch lame ass one liners to people you don't even know that wouldn't give two shits about you even if you did.

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  176. OMG ... you people are crazy! ... hahaha! .... i love this site, never a dull moment ... it's like some kind of sitcom!!

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  177. Referring to cali mom as the new "she" is so ridiculous and boringly pathetic because we know who "she" is, so it makes no sense.
    It's almost laughable.

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  178. 1:50
    classy. did I see you on the new housewives of new york show?

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  179. I like Cali mom.

    I am bored with whoever it is that sits on the computer day and night getting her yahoos out of flaming strangers.

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  180. What a bunch of losers on this site. Go back and read this from the beginning and ask yourselves, flamers, supporters, Cali-mom and the foul-mouthed troll at 1:50 today, are you actually going to help this reach 200 comments and most of them all your childish BS? Well, I expect the idiot from 1:50 to do so because just read that crap they wrote. Keeping score of a flame war. LMAO.

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  181. 1:50 sure knows a lot about being beat up and picked on in school. Maybe we should pity him/her? Seems like she/he had a rough childhood.

    And since you mentioned school, Perhaps you should have paid more attention there. Your last sentence must hold some kind of record for longest run-on here. 49words with only one comma and a period. That, plus your use of colorful vocabulary, makes YOU sound like quite the uneducated ass.

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  182. 7:35 And your "contribution" should be considered differently than all of ours, why?

    I always am mystified by the irony of somebody posting here to say that people who post here are losers. Huh?

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  183. Cali Mom - She who loves to bloviate.

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  184. The next person who posts anything about Cali-mom, either for or against, using her name or not, is a perfect ass. That includes Cali Mom herself. Who wants the title, let's see...

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  185. This is 10:58 again. I forgot to say that I love Calimom! Woo hoo!

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  186. It's me again (10:58).
    I forgot to tell you all that I can write things about Cali mom (using her name or not) any time I feel like it and I am not a "complete ass." But I have appointed myself czar in charge of deciding at which point I can declare somebody ELSE a "complete ass" for doing so, and it will definitely be true because I said so.

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  187. C-mom is my homegirl!

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  188. 10:58, roflmao! And thanks ladies.

    I will go so far as to point out that ONE poster in this thread is constantly and continually bashing another poster who isn't even adressing it, just CANNOT seem to let the topic die, and at every post, turns the topic back to exactly where it wants it, even referncing "she" to try and get a rise out of everyone. But we all know how to play "Spot the loser", and step over it, right?

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  189. I am neither a supporter nor hater. I wanted to see if I could kill the topic once and for all. I guess I couldn't but at least we know for sure now what side absolutely REFUSES to let it die. Post what you like about me, this post, whatever, the situation is clear. I certainly won't be responding or checking. Congratulations to all those who have earned the title ASS, you deserve it!

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  190. And I didn't intend to post it three times. I posted it twice and got an error message twice. Not sure how it came up 3 times, sorry for that.

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  191. 9:53
    I know you tried ... I'm really sorry. Hopefully things will get better around here because we have someone running around fighting for truth and justice for all!

    ;)

    ... Note the new Policy rules that were just posted today.

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  192. yay!
    u know who, where are u?
    it's quiet today ....

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  193. Bloviates unite! We need a union, I say! Who wants to write up our list of rules and demands?

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  194. JD said she was open to suggestions, right? Well, the #1 problem we have on board at the moment is the insane amount of flaming.

    I say we make an impromptu list of things we can do to make it a lot more amiable.

    Everyone should feel free to contribute a line or two, and we could ask JD to post it for us.

    ISYN Code of Conduct:

    1. No flaming or personal attacks.
    2. Do not assume the identity of other posters and make derogatory comments under their name.

    These are 2 of mine and they are important because I know of a couple posters leaving for those reasons.

    8:06 ~ you came up with a great idea, so anything that has hit a poster that bothers them ... I hope they will pitch in.
    Thanks.

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  195. I think the policy Jane has is a good one.
    http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o12/isawyournanny/commentpolicy.jpg

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  196. Absolutely, I totally agree. But people aren't abiding by it. I just figured if we had several of the posters contribute, and make it personal, maybe everyone would be more apt to heed it.

    Anyway, it was just a thought.

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