Received Tuesday, January 15, 2008
I saw your nanny today leaving the area of the Riverside Church Library with a little girl who was dressed dowdy. Her hair was matted to her head and she seemed mismatched. She had that look on her face like she was sick. She was a white girl, with red cheeks, dirty blonde hair and wearing a plaid skirt with tights and little loafers with a pink jacket. The girl was about 3.5 to my best estimate. What I saw was this, two boys of about the same age who were probably brothers running in to her repeatedly and knocking her down. The woman in charge of these two boys, also white, with dark, curly hair, wearing the same blue on blue jackets was talking to your nanny. The girl looked miserable, either because she was sick or because no one was standing up for her against these two bully boys. The nannies were ahead of the kids, paying them no mind. They were laughing every time they knocked the girl down, it seemed they "scored". I said, "hey, her, slow down" and the smallest of the children made a fist gesture to me. He thought he was funny. So then I called out, "I think this little girl needs some help". The nanny who was in charge of the little girl turned around, burned holes in my head with her glare and said, "she manage just fine without your business thank you". The other nanny turned around and screamed at the boys to walk ahead of her and leave her alone. The first nanny who was minding the girl said to the other nanny pointedly, "best to let the kids hash it out themselves, adults not doing any favor getting up in all their business". That was the general context of what she said, but she said it using angry street slang. The other nanny said, "They know better than that". She was clearly the better of the two nannies. My problem, why is THIS nanny taking "Care" of your little girl? This nanny was an African American with a trim figure, wearing a smoke colored ski jacket that was cream colored on the underside of the arms. She wore lots of earrings in her ear and her hair in a really tight little pony tail.
Thanks OP, I just hate it when people use "children need to work it out between themselves" to avoid enforcing discipline or guidance. I hope the parents see this.
ReplyDeleteIt rarely does any good to say anything to these horrible women, but I commend you for at least trying OP. That poor little girl.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you spoke up. That poor child having it rough at such a young age. I feel for her and looking so miserable too.
ReplyDeleteHopefully the Nannies were friends. At least the other one may have enough compassion that she could say something later?
ReplyDeleteEither way, those 2 boys needed some discipline ... along with that Nanny!
Great job OP! Hopefully the parents will hear about it.
ReplyDeleteDid you know that in Japan, the dominating and accepted view is not to interfere, and to let children hash it out amongst themselves, even, for example, in a controlled setting such as nursery school?
ReplyDeleteI don't think is a good policy, but I figured I would mention this cultural difference.
Of course I think someone should have stuck up for this little girl, and I think you made a good effort, OP.
Don't hire a nanny whose methods of discipline are not the same as yours. This is one area where cultural differences can be huge.
ReplyDeleteSure, kids need to learn to communicate and negotiate for themselves, but obviously when a child is being physically abused and bullied, ESPECIALLY if they are outnumbered, it is the job of a responsible adult to intervene.
ReplyDeleteWhat OP described is just a slug babysitter's lazy way of not doing her job and and I hope she' doesn't get paid more than $5/hr. OP I'm glad you spoke up!
OP, so glad you tried standing up for that child and why in heck would someone who is taking care of kids walk before the kids? How can you see the kids if they are behind you? That is just sooo completely careless and lazy, she isn't doing her job so she doesn't even deserve $5. Someone needs to run into her and knock her down they way those bullies were knocking down that poor little girl.
ReplyDeleteNow, tell me, how in the world do they expect kids to sort out problems among themselves when adults can't even do that on their own?