Received Monday, December 10, 2007
This happened yesterday, Dec. 9th around 9am:
Nanny was short and black and wearing a red and white coat, 2 kids boy and girl, around 5 looked like twins. Kids were wearing matching black Colombia jackets and red boots. Nanny was rude, dragging the kids through the aisles, yelling at them, talking on her cell phone. She looked very annoyed and kept telling the kids that when they got home she'd tell their mother they were horrible kids. It didn't look like they were doing anything wrong and always said "yes, mam". I didn't get it!
In the caretakers defense. We don't know if something happened before they entered the store. Could be the reason she looked annoyed???
ReplyDeleteTrue eric's mom, but still she shouldn't be telling kids that they are horrible. Thats not right.
ReplyDeleteyes, but maybe out of frustration. I don't know what happened. Could have been something that really made her upset??
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that the kids probably did something wrong before they entered the store. Why else would the nanny actually threaten to tell the mother? I think she would only do that if the kids weren't behaving properly
ReplyDeleteThis makes me laugh remembering the times my kids had friends over who turned into little hellions the moment the door closed and their mothers were gone.
ReplyDeleteIn my experience there seem to be kids who "let it all hang out" at home around their parents, but act perfectly well behaved in public and when visiting other people's houses....and there are other kids who are perfect angels in front of mommy and daddy but let loose like a pack of fireworks the minute their parents are out of sight. I don't know why this might be, but it seems ot be so often the case.
(I suspect this accounts for a lot of the moms and dads who REFUSE to believe their child ever does anything wrong at school, or anywhere else? I had a friend like that anyway...and her kid was ROTTEN when he was away from her, but she never believed anybody.)
Anyway, there were definitely times when I threatened to let mom and dad know what a child had done under my supervision. Sometimes you just get that desperate when a child is out of control and unwilling to follow any instructions. It does seem to make an impression on the kiddos. (Although, as I already said, it is usually these same parents who only get mad at the messenger anyway.)
If this nanny was threatening to tell mom something, then the kids likely already knew what they had done...which might account for OP not hearing her repeat what the misdeed was. (Although calling them "horrible kids" in general is certainly never acceptable.)
I can't believe anyone is defending this. My kids have acted badly plenty of times but I don't respond by dragging them through store aisles while talking on my cell phone, and repeatedly saying that they were horrible kids. Have you people lost all perspective?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, the purpose of this site is not for you and me to debate whether or not this is acceptable nanny behavior, but rather to alert parents how their nanny is treating their kids. If I were these kids' mother, I would want to know -- and yes, you would too.
This site is to alert the parents. But we are allowed to voice our opinion too, 9:44. Otherwise, it would get boring.
ReplyDeleteAnd if the worse thing the nanny said was horrible its not that big of a deal.
My son is one of those little angels that only misbehaves when he's out of my sight, and it took me awhile to catch on. I was like, "what, my kid"? lol
ReplyDeleteHe's a little older now and it's nice when I get from everyone that he's so well-behaved :)
I feel bad for the kids here, though. One thing I never did was to tell my son he was "bad" or "horrible" ... I would discuss what he did wrong, but was careful how I chose my words. Kids have a hard enough time these days with self-esteem issues.
This nanny may have been having a rough day, but her behavior was inexcusable.
Mary poppin pills,
ReplyDeleteThat's just one more reason mom and dad are (usually) the best ones to raise their own kiddos whenever it is possible. When we are the ones there, we can be the ones to control how the message is delivered to our kids. We can choose our own words and not have to trust trust that somebody else is criticizing the behavior and not the child.
I'm not defending the nanny, as she sounds horrible herself, but a lot of parents do label the child good or bad rather than criticizing the behavior. "Were you a good girl in school today? You can't watch TV tonight because you were a bad boy at the store." etc.
ReplyDeleteThis nanny deserves firing....I blogged earlier and it wouldn't take...(who knows, the other post may show up).....I just wanted to say that NO ONE should defend this nanny's behavior!
ReplyDeleteI think your being too harsh. You would fire the nanny over saying the children were horrible. We have all said things we regretted when angry or upset about something. Get off your high horse.
ReplyDeleteI get that the nanny was wrong for calling the children "horrible". But, in all fairness, she must have just reached her limit with their behavior that day. They obviously did something wrong if the responded to her by saying " Yes, maam".... If that doesn't spell guilty enough. This is why I stay at home with my little guy. I wouldn't want to put him in the position where someone was being cruel to him.
ReplyDeletePasadeba Mom,
ReplyDeleteI understand your feelings. I have seen great nannies though. One in particular was great with all of her charges, and many times they pushed her to her limits. I think what parents need to look out for is anyone who reacts with anger to a child misbehaving. Children misbehave. You punish them because it is the right thing to do. You don't hurt or abuse them because you are pissed off. You can tell a child "I am angry with you for hitting your brother". They need to know that, but they don't need to be mistreated because of their misbehavior. It just creates MORE misbehavior. Like fuel to the fire.
How was she mistreating them? And I think some parents don't care how a child treats the nanny. I have seen it.
ReplyDeleteSome kids are so disrespectful to the nanny. I saw it when I brought my son to a park. We were near the pony area. I thought these two kids were with their mom. Because she was so nice. But later I heard them call her by her first name, etc. Then they were calling her fat, and other things. I felt bad because she wasn't big at all. The kids were old enough to know better. Such brats
*Erics mom,
ReplyDeleteI would have them "the look/the eye" while shaking my head. Heehee, just so they know that someone was looking at them and thought their behavior was appalling.
Just recently, while in a park with my DS, this heavy set little 6 or 7 year old looking boy came up to my son and covered his legs with sand and he sat in the sand box playing with his own toys. I waited for someone to come over and scowl this boy. But no one ever came. So after he did that while I stood in shock at what he just did, he proceeded to usurp my DS's toy right out of his hands to which i replied loudly, "NO, YOU DO NOT TAKE AWAY HIS TOY, AND YOU DO NOT THROW SAND ON HIM. HE IS SMALLER THAN YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU DID WAS MEAN! VERY MEAN! WHERE IS YOUR MOTHER? GO AWAY!"
You would have thought someone would come running over at that point, but no.
Some kids are allowed do and say whatever they want as long as they don't bother their parents.
Btw, the said little boy was also terrorizing other kids, but not one person did or said anything. Why is that?
*I would have given them....
ReplyDelete*.....and covered his legs with sand *as he sat in the sand box playing with his own toys.
Hi Pasadena
ReplyDeleteSorry, to hear what happened. Yes, that happens all the time doesn't it. Some child throws sand or hits your child. And we are not really angry with the child. After all they are young. And our kids are going to be doing that too to someone. But at least if you are involved you can step in and say something. Kids are kids but parents should keep an eye on them.
Regards your question, I think you answered that. The parents don't want to be disturbed or they don't even notice whats going on.
Not to get off the subject, but I lived in Sierra Madre, close to Pasadena.