Received Tuesday, September 18, 2007
I am a professional nanny and was at Froggy Park today, (9/18) between the hours of 5 and 6 PM with my charges, who were playing with a sweet boy named Christian. He is 6 years old, loves Legos, his parents are doctors and he is a bit afraid of climbing. He was wearing a red and white striped shirt and he wears glasses . He is a charming boy who got in a bit of a problem while climbing and needed help. After a few minutes I helped him out because his babysitter, whom he pointed out to me was a woman sitting all the way on the far end of the park laughing and talking with her friend who was minding someone named Harrison. This heavy set woman wearing a yellow tank top was far too busy taking to her friend (who was ignoring little Harrison) to realize Christian had gotten into trouble with his climbing, was stuck and needed help. The babysitter completely ignored this very lonely little boy who clearly wanted someone to talk to. When we left he was very sad to see us go and went and sat in the sandbox. After securing my charges on my car I saw him wandering around the playground aimlessly while the sitter gabbed away to her buddy.
oh thats sad,
ReplyDeleteNot to get off the subject, but I know that park. Its great for kids.
This sounds a great deal like my charge...
ReplyDeleteSix is surely old enough to climb on ones own. Some children need a bit of a push to test their limits. Perhaps the nanny was only giving the child a bit of slack? Keep in mind as well, the nanny was there to keep her charge safe, and she did that job, no?
You might want to read 'Rasing Your Spirited Child'. You might undersand more where that nanny is coming from.
10:13- Sorry- I disagree. She was NOT taking care of her charge from the other side of the park where she could not realize he was stuck climbing and another nanny had to do her job and help him because she was too busy/lazy gabbing away. She could give him slack but actually keep an eye on him if she really wanted to do so. If the other nanny was not there and he fell, how long would it take lazybones to notice and help? She gets a paycheck to take care of the child, which would include playing with him, not ignoring him at a park. Very sad for poor Christian. Too bad she could not get off her lazy rear end and play with him........hopefully his parents will see this post. By the way, good job with the details and names OP!
ReplyDeleteI disagree. Parents are too freaky about watching their children these days. Six is old enough to ask for help if he needed it, or call for help if he was in danger. She was not that far away anyway, I was at the park as well with my child that day. She did look over once and a while and could have heard him if he called for help.
ReplyDeletePlay with him? Hes six years old, not one or two. Even my 20 month old doesn't want to play with me anymore at the park. I am always close by, in case he needs me, like climbing up the stairs, etc. He rather play with the kids, he loves when the other children come, he leaves me and runs over to them.
ReplyDeleteKids need to learn to play with others. And adults parents and nannies need association, as well. I enjoy talking to the other moms while taking care of my son. Otherwise, most of us would go insane without adult conversation.
I am the original poster and as a nanny I would never post anything about a fellow professional unless I thought it necessary.
ReplyDeleteChristian told me a great deal about his parents backgrounds, his likes and dislikes, and a lot of information that could be used by a predator. If nothing else, the nanny should have been there monitor what this child was telling me.
Christian was stuck ON TOP OF the tube where children ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE for a good 5 minutes before I helped him down. I was hesitant to touch him as he is not my child or charge. I kept looking over to his nanny and she never noticed me or Christian. I did not want to leave him to walk to the other side of the park to get his nanny for fear he would fall. I would have had to scream at the top of my lungs to have gotten her attention at that distance.
10:13, I fully agree with the idea that a child with confidence issues needs space. But the distance of a park is not giving a child space. And how can you help and encourage a child and praise them when they do well if you are not there to watch them? Christian kept asking me to watch him while he climbed here or jumped from there. The boy was clearly seeking reassurance and praise. A few times he looked nervously at me before trying something and asked if I would be there in case he fell. Does his nanny know any of this? NO! Because she was no where near within ear shot.
4:17 I wonder if you were the young woman she was talking too the whole time? Because if you were you were paying slightly better attention to Harrison, who is about 3 years old. BTW several other nannies and mommies had to correct Harrison for pushing, trying to hit, taking toys and other rude behaviors because his care giver or mommy was too busy yakking away. She did correct him In German once.
As far as playing with a 6 year old. I agree if the child is engaging himself or other children of course you can and should give them space. But when I arrived at the park there were a bunch of toddlers and pre-k kids. Christian was the only older child there. The fact that he wandered over to me and struck up a long lasting conversation shows he was looking for someone to talk to. There were no kids his age in that park. The fact that the nanny never got off her rear end to come over and at least listen to what we were talking about is disturbing in itself. And parents are freaky about watching our kids??? What does that mean? They are our kids for goodness sake! You better believe we are freaky!
7:05 I fully agree moms and nannies nened to talk to adults, but I ask you this, if your child was in a park talking to a stranger for nearly an hour, wouldn't you wander over and at least see what they are talking about?
I'm sorry guys, this nanny ignored her charge for almost an hour. I spent most of that time talking to him and supervisig my charge and him as they played. I offered him encouragement, praise and and attention when he sought it. I looked over at his nanny often and never saw her looking up at all. I did see her on the OTHE side of the park fence at one point climbing on a wooden fence while she talked with her friend. I feel confident had I been a predator I could have lured Christian out of that park without his nannies knowlege.
Its me 7:05
ReplyDeleteWell you did clarify this better for us now. I understand now. I didn't realize this was going on for over and hour. And during this time the nanny didn't come over once to see how he was. Did she even go over to him to see if he wanted a snack or was thirsty? I can't believe she didn't engage him once. Now thats wrong.
Froggy Park Poster,
ReplyDeleteYou are my hero. YOu handed all the naysayers their asses! Wooooo!
9:12
ReplyDeleteSorry thought I had mantioned the time frame in the OP.
No she never interacted with him at all. No snack no drink nothing. I am being completely honest when I say I thought he was alone, maybe a kid from one of the houses across the steet, for the first half hour we were there. It wasn't until he mentioned he was with his sitter and pointed her out that I realized he was with someone.
9:34 :D
Sorry for the typos! Long day!
Froggy Park Poster, I too like the way you handled all the doubters. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI am wondering, with a child as old as this, could something else be done to help him. I am thinking of other things that could be done. For instance, maybe you could suggest to him that he tell his parents about the lack of care he gets from his nanny (using different, better words that I am using here to all of you).
One could suggest to the boy, using plain language, that he tell his parents privately that he needs to tell them something important, and report that he is left alone for long periods of time, etc.
Another idea that comes to mind is, why not give the boy your phone number and ask him to tell his parents privately to call you. You could write a note saying, dear parents of Christian, please call me because I have something important to tell you about your son. Tell Christian to give it to his parents privately, and that it is important. Christian does not need to know what it is about. It could ostensibly be about future playdates.
Better yet, you might be able to get the home number from the nanny, or from Christian, simply by asking for it. You could say it's about future playdates. Then you can call the parents.
So what if the parents think you're strange. It will still make them think twice about their horrible excuse for a nanny.
I hope you like some of my ideas and I hope that children like Christian can be helped by others, like ourselves, who notice and are willing to stick our necks out.
Another idea is you can ask Christian for his address and either stop by or write a letter or note. A child of this age would probably be able to recite his address.
ReplyDeleteBad idea though, as all kids that age should know NOT to hand out their address to random strangers, even if the stranger seems like a "nice lady at the playground". So to encourage him to do that would be detrimental to that aim.
ReplyDeleteThe idea of giving him YOUR number with a note to have the parents call you might be a good solution if you see this happening again. It is awful but until you see it again I think it may be jumping to conclusions based on too little evidence to assume the nanny is always, or even usually like that.
Poor kid! His nanny sounds like a lazy jerk. Just because he is 6 years old does not mean that she should warm the bench the entire time they are at the playground. Since when is it wrong to physically check on the child and say 'sweetie, would you like to try the monkey bars?' She does not have to run around with him, but she can give him ideas and encourage him to play with other kids. Some kids are a bit shy and need some help.
ReplyDelete9:34
ReplyDeleteHow about I hand you my ass and you kiss it.
People baby their kids too much. I'm so sick of people like you. Give them room to grow and learn!
ReplyDelete