Received Friday, July 27, 2007
Late yesterday afternoon, (7/26) I was at Rainbow Park located behind the Davis Art center in Davis, CA when I observed a sight I thought worthy to report. A child of about four to five years was being screamed at by her nanny. The nanny was very large and looked to be Caucasian. She was wearing long denim shorts and had stick straight, dark brown hair in a pony down her back. The babysitter was yelling at the child, "When I call you, you come, you come. Got that" and the child was crying but trying to answer. The child's response came in gulpy breaths, "yes". The babysitter made the child repeat what she had just said but the child could barely talk. The playground is not at all very large, so I cannot imagine what happened before. The child just stood still, almost afraid to leave and the sitter barked at her, "Now. We are going now". As I stated, I don't know what happened before, perhaps the child was out of control. But here is what troubled me. As the twosome were leaving, the sitter said, "no wonder your parents are in Vegas". With that, the child started sobbing hysterically. No matter what the child had done, that was mean and not at all an appropriate comment to make. The little girl had light brown hair with bangs and a tiny braid on one side wrapped in some colorful string.
Why do these nannies have to say such spiteful things to children? I'm sure the little girl misses her parents and so to rub salt in those wounds - that's just sadistic of the nanny.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the part about Vegas was unnecessary, but the rest is overblown. Maybe the nanny/sitter had to call the girl several times and she blatantly refused to listen. The rule with my kids is that they will receive 5 minute warning, and the next time, it is time to go, no questions asked. We go over this everywhere we go and it works well. A child around the age of 4-5 should be able to understand who is in charge and when they are told it is time to leave, they are to leave!! No one was being abused.
ReplyDeleteI diagree. Speaking from experience, words hurt and some can remember them, even at this young age. What this "caregiver" was saying to this child is that her parents would rather be somewhere else than with her--and that they are gone *because* of her. This is awful, and it is abusive. Maybe they did need a break from their daughter, or maybe they were called away unexpectedly through no desire of their own. The point is--this is a 4 or 5 year old CHILD. Who's the freaking adult here???
ReplyDelete12:31
ReplyDeleteare your kids in the army...come on
this are 4 -5 year olds. you dont talk to children in this manner.. i dont talk to my dog this way.show some kindness and patients..give me a break...
this parents go to vegas... 90% of the time people go to vegas to have fun and leave this poor child with this rotten nannie...
sad no pics...
12:35 and 1:47 - you are the reason that children are growing up thinking that they can do whatever they like to do and having no respect for adults or other authority figures. If the child is 4 to 5 yo, then they will be in school soon, where they will be expected to do things as they are asked to do. When the bells rings, recess is over and you are to get back into school. Get over yourselves.
ReplyDeleteIt seems that there are two issues here, the way the "sitter" reprimanded the child and the final comment about the parents being away.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has a different view on what's appropriate, but to my mind, the way the sitter spoke to the child was not wrong. No matter how small the park, it's a public place, and as children get older a lot of their safety depends on their ability to listen to the person caring for them. If this child was ignoring her caregiver, she should be reprimanded sternly. The emotional response (the crying & gulping for air) is a pretty standard reaction for a 4-5 year old child, especially when they know they've done something wrong.
The second issue, the final comment about the child's parents is simply inexcusable, in my opinion. Scolding is a part of the job of raising a child, psychological torture is not.
I agree with Emma, I am a nanny and have reprimanded children sternly for not coming if I know they heard me call for them several times, but telling her that her parents went to Vegas to get away from her is awful. Hopefully the little girl will ask her prents why they wanted to go to Vegas to get away from her and then she can rat the sitter out and they can try to undo the damage this satistic turd caused.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the final comment was uncalled for. However, children do need discipline... and that starts when they are under a year old. By the time they are 4 or 5, they know right from wrong, and if they chose to make the wrong choice, they know that there will be consequences. A big part of raising a child is preparing them to be a young adult, and then an adult. If you wait until a child is almost a teenager to start yelling and telling them no, then you are going to have a huge problem on your hands. Your child will think you are a big joke!! My step son came to be with us this summer (he normally lives out of state) and his mother lets him have complete run of the house. Not here! What a change that was for him. Simple things like making his bed (he's almost 10) turned into a fit because he doesn't do that at home. What is he going to do when he is an adult? Call his Mom to make his bed? My point is, is that this discipline was fine, even for a nanny, and if the nanny isn't stern with a child when they are in the wrong, the child will walk all over nanny and things will get worse. Nothing worse than a disrespectful child and a parent/nanny who accepts it.
ReplyDeleteI really don’t see yelling as an effective form of discipline. If my four year old charge refused to come when I called her, I would take away a privilege such as her TV time, or make her take a time out on the bench. A child who is yelled at all the time will eventually learn to tune out the yelling. If my child is about to run out into the street, I want her to respond when I yell NO.
ReplyDeleteThe first portion of this siting did not bother me in the slightest. As you said, you don't know how the child was behaving prior to being told to "listen and come" when she is in fact told. This seems normal to me, and yes children need discipline...for all we know, this child was out of control and putting herself into danger and needed a strong reminder of who the adult is to keep her safe. On the other hand, this nannies statement about Vegas made me nauseous! NOW that is uncalled for!! You should never make a child feel at fault for something such as a parents absence! This sounds like a cruel mind game which will unfortunately cause damage to such a young childs self esteem! So sad, and completely uncalled for!!
ReplyDeleteThe remark about the parent's trip was inexcusably mean, and a very immature reaction to a misbehaving child.
ReplyDeleteAs the OP said, she doesn't know what happened before hand. It sounds to me like the child ignored repeated calls to leave from the nanny, and had a tantrum when she insisted. At this age, when children are physically independent, out of strollers, too big to carry etc. that lack of discipline can be a real safety issue. What if you see a dangerous situation and the child ignores you. You don't always have time to tell them several times.
I agree with 6:52 about the yelling/screaming. When is it ever appropriate to scream at another person in anger? Discipline must not come from anger, that's the essential thing. A child this age will respond as well to a stern/scary whisper.
ReplyDeleteThis sadistic nanny brute needs to find another calling.
ReplyDeleteThe nanny is a vile creature. I would have called her out. No bones about it.
ReplyDeleteNot to start a debate, but I would never leave my kids to go on vacation. Never. That in itself is saying "we need a vacation from YOU."
My parents never vacationed without me (and my siblings).
I strongly feel that parents should focus on their kids for at least the first 6 years of their lives.
Leave the childcare for working parents, the sick, or for going out after the child's bedtime.
If you're so stressed out from child rearing & have to pawn your children off then you're doing something wrong. It's not the kids, it's the system at home.
I am a nanny who looks after 2 kids a baby and a 5 yr old, while walking he had a drawing that flew out of his hands after i told him a few times hand it over to me so this would not happen, anyway it flew out of his hands in the street and he took off after it, the only thing i could do was scream out his name, he was way faster than i am due to the fact that i had the baby in the stroller. When he heard me screaming his name he did stop, although i don,t belive in screaming ,shouting or yelling sometimes it is necessary . The part about what she said to the little girl about her parents that,s uncalled for and if she any love for this child she is caring for she would not of said something like this to the child.
ReplyDeleteYeah a four year old kid knows EXACTLY where Vegas is. Who cares. Thats why kids are all screwed up because parents are too afraid to disipline them. Thats why they have drug rehab programs so these kids can visit them when their older. Lindsay Lohan anyone?????
ReplyDeleteKids today are not screwed up because they have no discipline.
ReplyDeleteThey are screwed up because they have had inconsistent or inappropriate discipline (berating a child, yelling for no reason, hitting) or also- their mothers are whores, drunks, cokers and in general bad examples.
(LiLo)
7:08
ReplyDeleteParents DO need a vacation away from the kids sometimes. If you are saying you don't, you're lying and you're probably one of the moms who has broke down crying to me while pulling her hair out asking how I do this all day. Parents who make sure to take care of themselves are better parents for it.
That being said, this nanny was being cruel by saying that (Las Vegas part) to a child. I hope the little girl told her parents.
OP-
The other part about the nanny correcting the child should have not been posted. Like you said you don't know what she did to make the nanny react this way. Maybe she had been warned many times up until that point and that was the result. I swear some of you who report things are just looking for there to be an issue. I bet you scope out nannies thinking "Oooooo I can't wait to post this!" lol
Lots of times there is one last straw that causes a post. The OP said "here is what troubled me" followed by the part about Vegas. She obviously was bothered most by the last comment and decided to include what else she saw as more backup info. If the sitter never mentioned Vegas the OP may not have bothered. But since she did, at least she included the entire story. If a parent does see this she can question the entire situation, maybe there was no reason for the nanny to freak out. Maybe the nanny hadn't been watching the child for over an hour and then got mad when she couldn't locate the child.
ReplyDeleteThe entire story was told, and now hopefully the parents will see this and make their own decision on if the nanny handled the situation well or not.
307, You are obviously a callous, uncaring person. You would rather make excuses for a nanny, who has been observed by someone concerned enough about her behavior to post on this board, than to even think about the welfare of the child.
ReplyDeleteDavis is a tiny, gossipy little town and if any of the locals read this, there's a very good chance this horrible nanny will be identified and her employers informed.
ReplyDeleteI had the distinct displeasure of living in this tiny, gossipy little town for a few years, and I certainly do not miss it. But I'm hoping one of the nosy Davisites who were in the park that day knew the child or the parents and gossip that nanny right out of a job!
2:04....did LiLo have baby I didn't hear about?
ReplyDeleteno anonymous, Lilo is the messed up kid- the result of crappy parenting. der.
ReplyDeleteHow do any of us know that any of these postings are real? Maybe a fired nanny wants to get her replacement in trouble and makes stuff up. Maybe someone just wants to stir up some trouble just to see what the nannies and mommies have to say about it. Can't believe everything you see, hear, or read.
ReplyDeleteIf someone mentioned my nanny's driving on a national blog, I would certainly make some inquiries to the parents I know!
ReplyDeleteIf my NANNY ever spoke to my child that way there would be hell to pay. I am all for a parent disciplining their child but this is not a parent, this is a nanny. Adults need to learn to control themselves, good grief.
ReplyDelete9:18....kind of like people who use words like "der?"
ReplyDelete