Received Friday, June 29, 2007
Your nanny is about 30-35 years old, Latina, heavy set, maybe 5’3”, ponytail. Today (Weds. June 27) she was wearing a white T-shirt and jean shorts. She may have a son that came with her to sit today – he would have been about 8 (I saw him come up to her and he knew your child.) She was taking care of your daughter, who has short, dark brown hair, probably about 2 years old, in the fountain. Her bathing suit was a small red and white pattern, maybe pink and white, with a ruffle, I think white sandals. Despite the fact that your daughter was crying hysterically for about 30 minutes (virtually non-stop – she clearly didn’t like the fountain), your nanny stood and talked to her friend and either ignored your daughter or spoke to her in degrading way – mocking her, really. Finally, when your daughter was sitting down on the drain, crying and shivering with her lips blue, I couldn't’t take it anymore and I asked the nanny if maybe your daughter needed a towel and would she like to borrow mine. She snapped at me that she had her own towel and then commented to her friend that people should mind their own business. Did she take your daughter out right away? No, she then told her if she wanted to leave the fountain she had to say so (was it not obvious?), and demanded that she stop crying. I swear I wanted to punch this woman, it was so cruel. Your daughter kept crying and between gasping sobs said something. Finally, your nanny took her out (crying the entire time), wrapped her up in a rather gruff way, and then started walking away toward the sandboxes (pushing a red, large stroller, maybe a job stroller?) with your daughter trailing rather far behind her. (that’s when the other child who might have been her son walked up.) Frankly, this woman is sadistic.
I sent this in on June 27 but it wasn’t posted.
She sounds like an awful person.
ReplyDeletePoor little girl.
OP thanks for posting this.
ReplyDeleteCome on parents, get real and check check check on your nannies, send a friend to the park to watch the nanny, arrive time early, ask arround the usual park nanny and child frequent, and use your common sense!!
I saw a posting on Craigslist RI for a nanny and the ad said, "references helpful but not required."
ReplyDeleteWhat are some people thinking? I kid you not: it was a real ad!!
This is the problem that we are facing and will continue to face. So many people claim to be a "nanny" but very few really knows what it takes to be a nanny. Most just need a job and figure that they can make a good living caring for children.
ReplyDeleteMost of them are not qualified to get any other job but somehow have discovered that the standards are so low when it comes to hiring a nanny. This has made it easy for them to call themselves a "nanny" and get away with it, when in reality they are baby-sitters at best. Some aren't even suitable to be around children but have managed to lie through the interview and actually get hired.
It's very sad that so many of us have to work and depend on people to be caring and keep our children safe and happy. We trust them to be who they tell us they are. Sadly, it's not always the case. It breaks my heart to see a child suffer.
I hope that the parents of this little child see this and take action. If she is this bad in public I hate to think how she treats this poor, helpless child when they're alone. It makes me want to cry. Poor baby.
OP, great job confronting the mean nanny. The nerve of her saying that people should mind their own business when a child is being tormented. This nanny needs an exorcism. My gosh, I bet the only time she smiles is when she gets her pay check. I hope the little girl's parents see the post.
ReplyDeleteSome people put more thought into what they are going to wear than in hiring a nanny. I just don't get it.
ReplyDeleteI'm not in a position to pay a nanny a whole lot but my standards are very high. I search high and low for the best that I can find. It takes me months to find a nanny because I look everywhere. I leave no stone unturned.
When I interview it usually takes 2 hours or more. I follow-up with references and break the resume apart looking for discrepancies and I check their background. I make sure that I have a copy of their driver's license, social security number, etc. I don't trust my children with just anyone. Why do so many people take it so lightly when hiring a nanny. It's one of the most important decisions that parents have to make.
Granted there are times that you can do everything right and you still end up with a bad nanny who knows how to interview well and is a professional liar. However, if I end up with a bad nanny (and I have), I like to know that at least I did everything that I could to hire the best nanny that I can afford.
Parents, let's all do our part to keep our children safe. I don't think it's too much to ask for the safety and happiness our little ones.
Well said 6:12PM. I am a professional nanny, and I believe in background checks, nanny cameras (except in the bathroom), and the good ol' 'drop in unexpectedly'.
ReplyDeleteI've read too many sad stories on the internet lately, including this site, and I just don't understand why parents aren't more vigilant when it comes to watching out for their childrens safety. How much could it possibly cost to hide 2 cameras in the home, hire surveillance for a few days, or just have a friend spy on them while they are at the park with their Nanny? I've read so many articles where the parents said that they never saw any "red flags", never had a suspicion, or even had a sense that any kind of harm or neglect had befallen their child. You think you do everything right ... background checks, references, verifying licenses, resumes, certifications ... but they are never a guarantee that your child will be treated as lovingly as you would treat them.
ReplyDeleteCome on parents, wake up. Start looking out for your kids. They need you!
poor little girl, what a bitch. i dontunderstand why people take care of kids if they cant be kind to them. you dont even have to love them, but you shoudl be kind to them
ReplyDeleteSomeof the nannies out there actually don't like kids that much. They just work as nannies bcause the nanny industry has loopholes and very few requirements.
ReplyDeletePeople, get real. Generally, the people who are today's "nannies" are simply those who are not qualified to get any job that pays better! There are no independent standards that people must meet before they are allowed to call themselves nannies! Therefore, most "nannies" today are not professionals who have been properly trained. They are just individuals who go into this line of work because it is the best level of pay that they are able to achieve. And, the typical level of pay is quite miniscule!
ReplyDeleteSometimes, parents can get lucky and find someone who is naturally great with children. But there are so many "nannies" who are totally unqualified, and are far from being experts with children!
If you feel the need to hide camera's in your house to spy on your nanny, you need a new nanny!
ReplyDeleteI am a nanny, and have been for 6 years now. I have numerous certifications in the Child Development field and am currently obtaining my degree in Child Development. With that being said, if I ever found out one of my families spied on me like that, I would quit in a heartbeat!
It is not only illegal, it is also immoral to tape someone with out their knowledge!
9:53
ReplyDeleteIt may be immoral, but it aint illegal. How do you think the abusive Nanny gets caught ... and charged ... and sentenced ... from the evidence witnessed on a Nanny cam. Now some states have wire tapping laws, but for most, as long as one of the parties doing the taping knows ... it's legal. It may suck, but it's legal.
I agree with 2:20am, and I am a nanny. I know that many of the families that I worked for had at some point a nanny cam, and it never bothered me because I have nothing to hide. One mother came home and accidentally uttered a sentence that I had uttered a few hours earlier when she was not home. She sheepishly looked at me, and I said "no problem!", and knew from that point on that they had a live feed to their work computers (still not a problem with me). The sentence was to do with a funny game that the kids and I were playing that day. You see, as long as its not in the bathroom, the nanny cam is not offensive to a qualified nanny.
ReplyDeleteI am a nanny and if I found that I was being filmed without my knowledge I would instantly quit. It is NOT ethical to film someone without their knowlege regardless of whether you feel it is your right to do so. If some one observes your nanny in a pulic setting and tells you - that is different. If you really don't trust your nanny to the point where you have to monitor her activity without her knowlege GET A NEW NANNY! Spend a few days with your nanny in person as she cares for your children before you permanently hire her. Or better still - if you are so untrusting and intrusive RAISE YOUR OWN CHILDREN! The real problem here is that you are paying someone to look after your child who will never, no matter what they do/don't do, be you. I have a college degree and care for children because I love to do it - not because I'm too "unqualified/uneducated" to do anything else. I resent statements like that and feel that if you are hiring nannies that meet your obviously very low standards and the notion that they "can't get another job" is the idea you are entering your interview with then you won't find a good nanny! Don't settle for someone you have doubts about - if it enters your mind that you need to spy on (and that is exactly what it is) your nanny - Immediately replace her.
ReplyDeleteThere are 13 states in which it is illegal to video tape without consent! My state, California, just happens to be one!
ReplyDeleteSo, I am sorry, but it is illegal and immoral to tape someone without their consent!
In Alabama, Arkansas, California, Delaware, Georgia, Hawaii, Kansas, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, New Hampshire, South Dakota, and Utah, installation or use of any device for photographing, observing or overhearing events or sounds in a private place without permission of the people photographed or observed is against the law.
I would never object to having the parents stay home with me for a few days, and see how I am with their children. Or, ask around the park or neighborhood! Any of those people would be bound to see something, if abuse or neglect was taking place! I don't know anyone that is a good enough liar, that they could be fooling all those people and still be hurting your children!
Again, if you have any doubts about who you are hiring as your nanny, find someone new! Or, like the person above me said, "RAISE YOUR OWN CHILDREN!"
I agree with 12:18. Everyone is a "nanny" these days. And yes, most can't find a job paying half of what they make as a "nanny." There are too many rules to follow when you work for a corporation. As a nanny, you are basically on your own and the parents and their helpless children are at your mercy. I guess that it makes some of them feel powerful and in control. In the corporate world there are people watching you all day long and you actually have to work.
ReplyDeleteHaving a nanny camera doesn't always mean that you mistrust your nanny. Sometimes, you may just want to capture how great you nanny is with your children while you are not home. Only nannies with something to hide object to having a camera whether they know that it's there or not.
Also, you can spend time with your nanny and do everything right. She might act like a perfect nanny in your company and be a totally different person behind your back. I always make it a habit of spending the first 3 days to a week with a new nanny. I'm very observant at all times and look for the little things that most people don’t notice but could be a sign of a bigger problem. Still, I once wound up with a monster who managed to fool me for 2 months. I'm glad that I didn't have a nanny camera to capture how she mistreated my children because I don't know what I could have done to her had I seen it.
11:11
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I hope everyone takes a little bit of it to heart.
It's not hard to photograph or film your nanny or babysitter. As long as you have it in your contract and they sign it, it's legal.
ReplyDeleteI personally can't believe that anyone would treat a child so harshly. There is no excuse. It is the adults responsibility. I personally would have called the authorities during this incident. If the child is being neglected (as per her lips turning blue from being cold) there is reason enough.
To those who say "Raise your own children": It is the best thing for everyone involved, but in most situations these days is not possible. My husband is in the military and I'm in my last year in school. While I would love nothing more than to stay home with my daughter I need help. I am isolated, away from my family and friends, so I count on good childcare. I check references, pop in unexpectedly at least once a week, and video tape WITH PERMISSION every room of our house except the bathroom. I'm a very responsible parent and spend a huge amount of time with my daughter and find it very offensive that people would criticize my use of a nanny or other childcare.