Received Tuesday, June 12, 2007
This happened yesterday (Mon. 6/11) between 12-3 pm:
A red-headed two year old named Scarlett with an older sister was being minded by a heavyset nanny with a Caribbean accent and a scarf covering her hair. The nanny had Scarlett in a McLaren stroller and spoke to her with such disdain and deep unpleasantness that it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. At one point, she tried to hand Scarlett some pretzels. "Do you want these?" she said. "Do you? Do you want these? Do you want them? Scarlett? Do you? DO. YOU. WANT. THEM?" And Scarlett burst into tears, for which I don't blame her. "Tell me what you want!" the nanny said. She almost never stood up, even when she finally released Scarlett from the McLaren and she ran off to be around her sister. At one point, though, she noticed me watching her and then she got up to interact with Scarlett. There was no abuse, but there was no love -- she seemed almost to hate this child.
Why are you posting on here? She asked if she wanted pretzles. Oh the evil carribean nanny! Lets find her and kill her. This board is getting out of hand.
ReplyDelete"spoke to her with such disdain and deep unpleasantness that it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up." I doubt people have time to chronicle in depth what they see and hear.
ReplyDeleteStop defending nannies just BECAUSE of their race. The majority of Good nanies are also of color. The majority of all nannies are of color. This is not a personal attack.
Stop whimpering about race.
Stop attacking the OPs in hopes that they go away. If Scarlett's mom is okay with the way that her nanny is treating her, then so be it. I just can't imagine that the nanny would ever treat this child like this within site of the parent and THAT IS WHAT THIS BLOG IS ABOUT.
ReplyDeleteShe sounds like a nanny I had and the description fits as well. The nanny I had was from Trinidad. If there was ever a person who should not be caring for children, it was this woman.
ReplyDeleteMy then 3 1/2 year old cried every day. Like this little girl, Scarlett, it wasn't because she physically abused her but the way she spoke to her in such a mean and hateful way. Children know when they are not liked or wanted.
There's a lot more to this awful story but I first discovered how mean she was through my neighbors, who grew very concerned after they saw her interracting with my daughter.
I got rid of her immediately, but it was 8 weeks of hell that I will never forget. Every time I thought about what my daughter went through I start to cry. She still talks about how mean this woman was to her.
I hope that Scarlett's mom sees this posting and get rid of this woman immediately for her daughter's sake. Poor little girl.
I must add, though, that my current nanny is from Trinidad and I can't ask for a nicer person. She trully is wonderful to my children. My point being that some people have no business taking care of children no matter where they are from.
Well put, 10:16 AM. Can you tell us your bad nanny's first name and what period of time she worked for you? Maybe someone else will recognize her as their nanny.
ReplyDeleteAlso, what made you hire her in the first place? How did she hide her true nature? Very sweet demeanor? very serious/professional? I am always curious about how crazy/evil people manage to camoflage themselves.
Cheers!
This nanny sounds very cruel, regardless of her ethnicity/race/nationality. OP, great job getting nanny off her rear. I see this sort of thing alot. Just because the nanny is not smacking the child does not mean that she is not abusing the child. In this case, the nanny is tormenting the child via pretzel. This is another nanny not worth defending no matter where she is from.
ReplyDeleteMy nanny's first name was Rosalina. She worked from February to April 1, 2006. She was recommended to me by my best friend's bookkeeper. She worked for her for 1 1/2 years taking care of her three children. She came highly recommended. According to her they let her go because she had lost her full-time job and couldn't afford a nanny.
ReplyDeleteShe was surprised when I called her to let her know that Rosalina was awful and I wanted to know what it was about her that she loved so much. She asked me if she could take her back because she really needed the help, to which I replied, "You can come get her right now." She wound up taking her back and firing her two weeks later.
It turned out that because she was at work all day, she had no idea what was going on. Also, because her children were not verbal, they were not able to express to her any problems. By the time that she got home, everything seemed perfect. However, when Rosalina went back she and my best friend began observing her interacting with the kids and picked up on the type of abuse that I was talking about.
As far as her personality, she wasn't very talkative or too friendly but she seemed professional. She came across to me as someone who wanted to get her job done without being overly friendly with the family, which I can respect.
Some of the things that she did that I would never have found out about if it weren't for my neighbors were: sending my daughter out in the middle of winter without a coat and sending her to my neighbors house by herself. Another incident that my daughter told me about was that she didn't want to go take a bath so Rosalina grabbed her by the hands and dragged her up the stairs. I hate to even think of some of the other things that she did that I will never know about. Maybe it's just as well. I feel guilty enough.
jmt ~ I always enjoy your thoughtful posts. This one was a real winner .... how do we recognize a *bad* Nanny that Interviews so well.
ReplyDeleteThank you 4:39 ~ I know it must be difficult for you to know your baby girl suffered like that.
My point being - when I was little my mom had me in daycare alot. Mostly it was fine ... but I remember 2 caretakers specifically. One would occasionally smack my hand or swat my behind (I think it was more acceptable in those days, although still not right). The other one used to yell at me all the time ... say mean things. I was around 4 y.o. - I don't know why I never told (too scared, maybe?) ... but I will ALWAYS remember the terror the 2nd CT put me through. Often times ... verbal abuse can be much worse. There is NO excuse.
11:29PM, I hope you eventually got to talk to someone about the abuse at Daycare. Some kids don't tell for several reasons including:
ReplyDelete-Maybe I was being very bad and deserved to be hit.
-Nobody will believe me anyway.
-My parents might yell at the caregiver, and then I will be in more trouble. I lose either way.
Remember, it was not your fault. You were only 4 years old.
i have a question about someone saying it as abusive to pull the little girl by hands to get her into bath... If my charge refuses to go to time out, I will physically lift him (as he tries to get away and screams, etc.) and carry him to time out. If he leaves, I will repeat my action several times until he realizes i will keep putting him back there. any criticism?
ReplyDeletelifting is appropriate. dragging, pulling, poking and kicking-not so much.
ReplyDeleteI will be very honest right now and will probably get crucified for it.
ReplyDeleteI am a nanny and a mother. I have several families I work for on a regular basis. I am well aware I perform a very important service for the families I work for. I am reliable, prompt, engage all my charges in educational activities also bring them gifts and am very attentive. I am very concerned that any child in my care be happy and safe.
That said I want to let you parents in on a little secret. I don't LOVE every child I care for and there are one or two I don't even like very much. Not loving these kids is not abuse. I do a job. Like any other job there are aspects of it I enjoy less than others. I take my job seriously and do it to the best of my ability. Since I am a professional each child I care for is handled to the best of my ability regardless of my personal feelings. I am sure many nannies out there don't LOVE their charges. That doesn't make them bad nannies. Parents need to stop fooling themselves. No one loves my child like me, and no one loves your child as their own. You hire a nanny to do a job and hope he/she does it well. Anything beyond that is a bonus.
On the parenting note: someone tugging on your child's arm or speaking to them harshly is not going to scar them for life despite all the crap psycologists are trying to feed us. I don't treat my charges that way but I have news....people from other countries, including the Carribean dicipline their kids much differently from we Americans. I survived plenty of dicipline growing up I am sure would today be called abuse and guess what? I can honestly say if I got a smack on the ass I well deserved it. I grew up, got married, hold a job and am raising an honor student of my own. If she gets out of line I will swat her on the ass and she too will live to tell about it! My daughter is often complimented when we go out as being polite, well behaved and well spoken. She is head and shoulders above her peers academically and behavior wise. When people ask what my secret is I tell them and they look at me like I am Satan's own daughter walking the earth but who cares? Not me!