Received Thursday, May 17, 2007
Nannies....my friend and I just got a job nannying in the hamptons this summer. We know about the hamptons but don't really know what to expect. Any stories, advice, words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. We are not from New York and need your help!!!!!
You are in for something this summer....you sound pretty young, so be careful. I nannyed for a family in the hamptons one summer and pretty much had the children 24/7. I think I saw the parents maybe a week the whole summer.
ReplyDeleteWhere are you from?
ReplyDeleteI am guessing that you should expect to mind the children the better part of 24 hours per day. Skimpy bathing suits will be a no-no (regardless of what the mother says, she will seeth underneath if your figure catches the eye of her husband or even worse, the friend's husband that she is currently crushing). The Hamptons is a great place but I cannot imagine that it is a great place to be working class. There is a very clear line in the sand. You might want to clarify in advance if you are going to have any time off. And when!
I am the OP, my friend and I are both 22, recent college grads(from Ohio..gasp..but not the middle of no where) we have jobs in the city beginning in the fall. We both supposedly have weekends and nights off. Are you suggesting we should not wear two piece bathing suits?
ReplyDeleteIf you have a bad figure, by all means wear 2 pc bathing suits. I worked as a nanny 7 years ago for a mother for one summer in MA and arrived in my tiny metallic bikini for a day trip to Hyannis. She was icy cold to me after that. In retrospect and as a mother, I understand her reaction. It also depends on the ages of the children you are watching. A summer nanny- a good one anyway- is much like a real lifeguard- they have to run and bend and dig in the sand and if you seriously think you are going to be exposing their children to excess flesh, you are out of your mind. In fact, no one who plays on the beach should wear a bikini- unless you are a pro volleyball player in which case you're built like a boy anyway and getting paid to show your flesh. I would go for a tankini. Or even a bikini but with a tshirt nearby. We take a nanny with us to Newport beach and with twin 3 year olds- all she does is run up and down the beach, rolling on the sand with them, etc. I have rambled. I know. Thursday martini lunches. Back to work.
ReplyDeleterun the other way.....
ReplyDeletei did it last year...and they are correct 24 hours a day 7 days a week...the parents not to be seen..parties more parties and lots of friends in the house with more kids and more work for me...never again the kids were fine but the parents sucked..sorry
thats how i feel...will never do it again...
THE GOOD
ReplyDelete-Generally, you get to spend lots of time at the beach with the kids. If they are great kids, more fun!
-If you drive, you will be able to visit lots of fun places such as fresh produce stands. These are awesome!
-Some of the Hamptons parents are very easy to talk to and will treat you as a member of the family. They may ask you to get a manicure with them, and may even ask you if you want to go shopping with them (on them!).
THE BAD:
-You will encounter some parents from hell who will treat you as 'The Help'. Don't let it bother you, just remember that you will be laughing all the way to your accountant at the end of the summer!
-Collective babysitting: Ask your boss if you will be required to watch other families' kids during your stay. You might find yourself taking twelve kids to the movies, but this is fun only if you get the nice kids.
-I know a nanny who came from the midwest to work in the hamptons for the summer, only to be fired the same day she arrived for a very stupid reason. Unforunately, I can't post the reason because the witch who fired her will know that I posted her stupidity, and she will make my life hell. I found the poor girl crying in the laundry room, and I think she was fired because she was drop dead gorgeous.
THE UGLY:
-The bathing suit issue, just do the Ugly Betty look because looking great on the beach will get you into a lot of passive-aggreesive trouble with your female boss. Unless you are going to the beach during your free time, don't try to look too 'hot'!
-I once got a "you are very pretty" comment that almost cost me my job.
VERY IMPORTANT:
Don't let the kids swim in the ocean when there it no lifeguard around. Those nasty rip tides can creep up on you like hell. If you are a great swimmer, you may want to consider learning to fish a kid out of a rip tide.
Have fun!
Did you guys meet the families before hand?
ReplyDeleteOy! You will be treated as, and feel like, a slave. You will not have weekends and nights off as promised, and you will not get any extra money for all the extra shifts, and kids, you will end up working.
ReplyDeleteYou are young, this is your last summer before you enter the "real world"...I would spend it relaxing and having fun, not working as a Hamptons Nanny!
Who knows, maybe we're all wrong and you found the diamond in the rough family, if so, have fun. But otherwise, you were warned!!
please read The Au Pairs by Melissa de la cruz. i can almost guarantee this will be your summer. and honey, you will most certainly not have nights and weekends off, when do you think the parents will want to party with the other socialites? you got it, nights and weekends! good luck!
ReplyDeleteThe Hamptons are so overrated. I grew up going there every summer. The people there are snots. I don't get the hype. Just be prepared not to have any fun. I never had a nanny but my best friend did when we used to go. Depends on the family. She never had fun. Felt bad for her. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI suggest you get a written contract, that states your hours, days off, and overtime rate for any extra hours. Ask if you will ever have additional children, and what the compensation will be. Ask if you will have use of a car.
ReplyDeleteGet yourself a couple of "serious swimmer" suits, i.e. one piece racing backs, and some big baggy T shirts.
I hope you are both placed with nice families, and have a great summer!
UES Nanny
Your nights are free? Possibly. By nights free, they mean when the children are all tucked in and asleep and they are back from wherever you want to go. The first couple of nights you might have some fun. But then you will realize you are expected to start work at 7. Or earlier. And if you are not up, they will send the children to come and get you. The other commenters made a good point about bathing suits. If your bathing suit is ugly the mother will make fun of you to her friends. But make SURE your bathing suit is ugly. Because if it isn't ugly, bad things can happen to you. My boss told her "frenemy" to put bengay in her summer nanny's sunblock because said nanny was flaunting her six pack and curves. I don't know if she ever did it or not. They would always go to great lengths to say mean things to her to make her feel stupid. She was a really nice girl, she just happened to have a great body and think the beach was a good place to flaunt it. No. No. No. I would suggest you go to Sear's Women's Department and buy your suit. Something with both a high neckline and a skirt (but not a flirty skirt) would be optimal.
ReplyDeleteGood luck. These woman all have faces bursting full of restlyn, botox and collagen. During the alternate months, they can feel great about themselves as they slide their anorexic, flat asses in to $400 jeans and $800 cashmere sweaters. In the spring, fall and winter, these women don't have to face the fact that their body reveals their true age. And nothing makes them angrier than youth on the beach. Unless it's a hot manny.
As long as the suit contains your body and nothing falls out; I don't have a problem. I do think it is more than annoying when the nanny spends 5 minutes of every half hour anointing herself with SPF 4 in hopes of getting a quick, golden tan. I think the nanny should wear a 45 SPF sport sun block and reapply as necessary.
ReplyDeleteGet the bottle that comes on a keychain and hook it to your bathing suit. Nanny vanity at the beach is not acceptable! I once had a nanny who went to the beach every day in full make up and made a stink when she got splashed by a rogue wave. (We replaced her by week's end).
Is this post about bathing suit fashion? Did I miss something? And btw, Ohio lasses, everyone who is NOT from NY needs help, imo.
ReplyDeletedid you go through an agency or what?
ReplyDeleteThis post was not supposed to be about swimwear although any advice helps.I have common sense I wasn't planning on wearing a skimpy bathing suit, but I am going to wear a reasonable two piece. Thanks for all the advice though!! I am sad no one has posted a happy story. I found the people on a website I interviewed with 6 different families. We both ended up getting the families that we wanted.
ReplyDeleteOP - Definitely write back after your stint in the Hamptons. Perhaps you and your friend can do a Commentary piece, share your experience. Even better, keep a daily diary, write a best-selling book and hire your own nanny!
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a good summer.
I would seriously get two more friend and rent a beach dive somewhere less snooty. work as a waitress or something. 20 hrs a week. and have some damn fun!
ReplyDeleteDon't do it! Get out while you still can!
ReplyDeleteI am a nanny who worked in the hamptons for the summer. I hated it, I was working 24/7 . Find out what they expect from you,and try and stick to it. Because you are going to be in for a long rough summer.
ReplyDeleteahh! awful...I can't get out now but I will def. let everyone know how it goes....i'm going to the city this weekend and I might see the family...we will see.. I might try and do the contract like everyone is saying..
ReplyDeleteclarify these things:
ReplyDeletestart time?
stop time?
and do not take "breakfast" as a start time or "when you get up"
get a TIME.
Likewise for dinner, get an end time. Do not accept "after dinner".
What does that even mean? Dinner in the Hamptons can be at 10!
And one final thing-
if the father has a hot body-
never, ever, ever ever
offer to or accept his invitation to rub lotion on his back.
scratch that- even if he is a bloated old hog, DON'T DO IT!
Praying for you and hoping you will prevail.
ReplyDeleteone more word of caution,
ReplyDeletedon't pray.
don't talk about God or your religion.
Hampton's Folk tend to be Godless and will huff off if you invoke the name of the Lord.
Do wear sexy bikinis. Give the fathers "knowing looks". Lick your lips. Never when the wife is looking. Be as nice as possible to the wife but don't be a fool. Sex sells. And in this society none of the women have control over the money. The women are mostly non essential. Even if they have money, all they were was born in to it. Zzzzzzzzzzzz. The men have the power and they appreciate sexy women around them. My sil had the most incompetent nanny for three years. The nanny left to get married eventually. We all knew the nanny was around just because she was so damn cute. Know your strengths! A hot looking nanny is less likely to be fired and more likely to be treated with respect.
ReplyDeleteMen get weak in the knees when faced to treat a rock hard bodied 22 year old hot blonde like a "mere employee".
And never forget the importance of tanning "ass up". Not all men are breast men.
ReplyDelete"nowing looks" I love it!
"Nights Off" if you are dealing with little ones means that you will be free as soon as they go to bed around 8pm.
ReplyDelete"Nights Off" when you are taking care of pre-teens and teens means that you will have to Chaperone every night when they go out to pool parties where they will slip away from you to drink vodka and smoke marijuana. Then you will drive home at 2am with a car full of drunk, marijuana smoking brats while you pray that you don't get pulled over by the police. And if you do get pulled over, you are in for it, because there is no way the parents will take the blame for having introduced their kids to drugs and alcohol. So they will blame it on you, AND fire you when they know very well that they got the kids the drugs and alcohol. They will then hire a different naive small-town nanny.
If the husband is hot, he is yours for the summer. Show him how good you are with the kids, and he will love you more than he loves his little gold-digging plastic surgery addicted, cocktail party-hopping, shopaholic wife.
ReplyDeleteMy friend was a nanny and is now married to her former employer and stepmother to her former charges. She lived out on Long Island in a wealthy sudsivision. I think 2:21's advice is brutal but not alltogether lacking. These women look like cookie cutter women. They don't have any substance. They are all painfully thin but lack curves, nuerotic in private but try desperately to appear casual in breezey in public. I can guarantee you there is one mother in every class that has captured the imaginations of these husbands. And she may not even be the most beautiful, maybe she is the most with it, the most energetic, even the best mom. (Yes that does count for something, especially when you are a SAHM!).
ReplyDeleteI can tell you one thing- even though my friend was a live in nanny for a SAHM, she never saw it coming. Imagine for a second how f'd up that is for those children?
That does it. I would like to propose that we allow "nanny comments" only from registered members of the blog. Doesn't that make sense?
ReplyDeleteCensorship? Is it because of the marijuana-smoking kids, the alcohol, the plastic surgey, the painful thinness, shopaholic tendencies, non-stop cocktail parties, hot nannies, or the needy husbands?
ReplyDeleteSadie,
ReplyDeleteHow much does this site benefit from anonymous traffic and postings? How often do registered members post their opinion?I am asking because I don't know the answers.
12:25-I think better questions might have been:
ReplyDelete1) What exactly hit a nerve with Sadie?
2) Where in the hell did Sadie come from? (I've never "seen" her before.)
and 3) Who in the hell is named Sadie?
What's a "registered user" on this site?
ReplyDeleteI never registered, just put in my monniker.
Censorship never helped with the flow of information, either.
There are stupid people everywhere. This blog has fewer than any other I've seen. Count your blessings, Sadie.
Please make sure you get a clear time schedule (when you're working, when you will get time off).
ReplyDeletesadie is one of those who lurk and never post, but this posting made her mad for whatever reason, and I can think of several, so she decided to give her two cents worth.
ReplyDeleteI think the nice Hamptons wives in healthy relationships and who don't spread ugly rumors about pretty nannies have nothing to worry about. There are some really nice people and also some insecure ones in the Hamptons. My observation.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I really like this blog. I tell all my friends about it.
it is a good blog and it's interesting to hear other people's takes on the sightings
ReplyDeleteI don't even want to visit the Hamptons now. And I did.
ReplyDelete"Sadie" if you need to talk to someone, we are here for you.
ReplyDeleteI have been posting here for a while now, and once in a while I get my foot in my mouth, get my behind kicked and corrected, and then bounce back. We are all family here, and we love you.
I'm sure someone has to have something good to say about the hamptons?? Aren't there any moms on here who take their families there?
ReplyDeletePerhaps the other mothers feel as I do. I feel you should bring your nanny from home with you. There are plenty of beautiful, young women (too many?) in the Hamptons already without shipping one out. And it isn't just about the family that she works for. We have three families that we see nearly every day in the Hamptons and if one of them was suddenly dragging around some 20 yr old vixen (in the role of summer nanny) I would not be pleased. There, I said it!
ReplyDeleteThen why do some mothers "ship" young nannies from elsewhere out? Nearly every family I met or talked to required me to send a picture.
ReplyDeletemaybe it has to do with that song from police, don't know the exact words, but "everyone needs a wipping boy, someone to despise"
ReplyDeleteCHeck out the article that was posted yesterday on the blog about nannies stealing husbands. A very good quote within the article reveals men fall in love with the nannies not just because of their beauty or age, but sometimes because they aren't neurotic bitches. I would guess a man who makes 675,000 a year probably finds it tiresome that has idiotic wife seems incapable of handling their five year old on nanny's day off.
Wow what a cool subject. I was a nanny for a few summers for different Hamptons families. Of course, they all just 'summer' there and yes, there are snobs but there are also locals and then the famous locals... I had a great time! A job is a job. You may feel overwhelmed but that is pretty much up to how the parents (your employers) treat you. I had it made my first summer there. The first family (#1) belonged to the Southampton Bathing Corp. and I got my pick of either a Mercedes new station wagon or the Pathfinder SUV to drive the two boys around.
ReplyDeleteI would go out on nights and days that I had off with other nannies I met or I would go out alone and explore! The other nannies I met did exactly what you girls did- something over the Internet and they were from California and came all the way to the Hamptons without even meeting the families.
We all had so much fun. We were all the same age...20. That was a few years back. We still keep in touch too!
Another family I worked for... well that didn't work out because after just 2 weeks, i realized they were total coke heads (cocaine) and i witnessed child neglect, bad driving by the mother, mood swings by both parents and I didn't want to be involved... So, I packed up my stuff one day while they were out and then called the Southampton Police so that they could be there when the parents came home. That way, I, along with the officer, could tell them that I am leaving and I didn't want anymore contact from them. That was scary. Thank God, I had driven there...
The good thing is that you will learn a lot from this experience! You will see how some people are snobby and take everything for granted, you will see the other side of the locals who work very hard just to make ends meet and then you will see yourself; what you want for your life one day and what "The Hamptons" is all about!
I even saw some famous people when I was there. It was the biggest lesson I have ever learned when I was 'summering' and 'working' in the Hamptons.
I still go back by myself or with a friend in the spring or fall because I learned so much about myself there that I love it there!
Hope you girls have a good time and learn something life changing, as I did!
B
Hello everyone,
ReplyDeleteI just got back from the Hamptons babysitting baby twins and a 3 years old. The family I work for is going to Europe all next month and I have to find a new job over the this time. I was wondering if anybody knows a family who needs help??