Received Thursday, March 22, 2007
Yesterday, I noticed a little girl of about 4 shivering in a sweater with a metal zipper and pink and blue horizontal stripes while she was out running errands with her nanny. I will give nanny the benefit of the doubt and assume she is working for a beast of employer who has her going at a frenetic pace. Little girl was stumbling to keep up with tall nannies stride. When nanny reached for her hand, it was more to drag her forward faster than to hold her hand. Nanny clearly had a lot to do and busy agenda, but nanny also wore a rather thick and black suede jacket as well as a black knit cap over her straight, dark hair. Nanny was Anglo, tall, thin and wore sunglasses with brown frames.
well if the employer sees this, maybe they will give nanny less errands to do so she can go home and play dolls or make cookies with four year old!
ReplyDeleteToo many errands to take the time to put a coat on the kid?
ReplyDeleteWhatever!
And possibly give their daughter some warmer clothes to wear! That poor girl.
ReplyDeleteIt would NOT surprise me if the nanny was doing her own business and was just too ignorant or lazy to dress the little girl properly for the weather.
ReplyDeleteIt is possible that the kid REFUSED to wear her coat. My kid does that all the time.
ReplyDeleteSo, you are saying that if your three year old doesn't want to wear her jacket and it's zero degrees out, she goes without? Uh????
ReplyDelete9:13 Oh, aren't you just the proud mom!
ReplyDeleteI must say that I am a nanny and sometimes have a 5 year old trailing me without a coat even though it's cold. Now before I get jumped all over let me state my case. The kid's parents give into them when they kick and scream not to wear a coat...so I can;t really do much about it. I try to reason with the kid after the parents leave, but really the kid nows that thier mom and dad said they didn;t have to so they are not gonna listen to me.
ReplyDelete11:50 I don't buy that argument at all. Why leave the house then? Rules and perimeters. Children need them.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. The child I take care of isn't made to wear her coat and the parents have instructed me not to fight her on it. I just won't take her out in public if it's too cold and she doesn't want to wear it, because I don't want to be accosted or written about on here by people who can't mind their own damn business.
ReplyDeleteIt's not about people "minding their own damn business". It IS about people caring about the welfare of a child. Obviously, your concern is for yourself, in which case, it's a good thing that others care about the children.
ReplyDeleteThat last post is crazy: the person they are responding to is doing what the parents want, which is giving in to their child. A nanny is supposed to do what the parents want.
ReplyDeleteYou people are never happy. Just take care of your own kids. And yes, mind your business!!
There is no VALID reason or excuse for anyone dressing a child improperly for the cold. If a parent condones capitulating to a child's demands and a nanny knows that to do so would cause negligent childcare on her part, she needs to do the right thing. You do what's right for the child's welfare, no matter what. When crazy Anna Nicole Smith instructed her nanny to underfeed her infant daughter in order that she would be sexy, do you think the nanny should have acquiesced?
ReplyDeleteYes, I guess you would.
Here's a situation I ran into. My twin four year olds always take their shoes and socks off in the van. It gets very cold where we live, and I always had to struggle to get their shoes back on to go shopping/day trips/back into the house. So one day I told them, if their shoes came off, they would stay off. Well, I'm not proud of it, but they walked barefoot back into our house on a 5degree day. They have NEVER disobeyed that rule again.
ReplyDeleteAbout three years ago, I saw a mom literally rolling on the floor with her toddler trying to get a jacket on that child. I swore I would never do that. But when I hit toddler years, I knew it was a battle I would win. I would make my child walk without a jacket-
BUT- I would never continue a shopping excursion in that situation and drag my child around without a jacket. The nanny in this post was wrong, and I hope the parents find out.
3:54 I would be proud of that. You stood your ground and made your point, and WON. Natural consequences are great, and walking in bare feet a short way in the cold won't hurt them.
ReplyDeleteThanks, JMT. I was expecting to drop back in here and read about what a bad parent I was. Sigh. I just wish I had started being firm from the beginning, but then again, children are only young and innocent once. I do allow a lot of things to slide, but am slowing learning how to hold my own. Thanks!!
ReplyDeleteI was wondering about the parents vs. nanny rules. If the parents don't discipline or don't insist on common sense things like a coat, should the nanny uphold her own rules? If the caretaker knows better (and I know that opens a big can of worms), shouldn't the professional at least try to impose some order on the kids? There are a lot of parents who don't have a clue and don't want discipline for their kids - which I will never understand. But don't children need boundaries and socialization so they can function in this world?
ReplyDeleteThe parents have power because they are the employers, but a professional nanny has power because she is educated and can leave to work for a family that will let her do her job. In a perfect world.
Comments anyone?
JMT, we have given our nanny the right to discipline our children, as do several of our friends. I know parents who won't allow their nannies to. It isn't hard to guess who's children are better behaved.
ReplyDeleteAn educated nanny should know enough to step up and keep the children safe. 207 was head on. Her employer does not make their child wear a jacket, so she won't take the child out on a cold day.
But saddly, taking charge can cost a great nanny her job. An EX-friend of mine fired her nanny for disciplining her children. The nanny gave the naughty children time outs because they went in her purse and destroyed a bunch of her personal things. The children had been warned to stop, and when they didn't, the nanny followed thru. Wow, was Mrs. X mad! When I sided with the nanny, things got cool. Fine by me. On a personaly note, with her children not coming over anymore (her decision, I would never ban friends) my childrens toys don't seem to suddenly break like they used to!!
Discipline is good for children, and they do need boundries! It should never cost a nanny her job, though, and if it does, then there is something wrong with the parents! Well, at least in my opinion! ;)
Thanks 2:36. That's what I'm talking about. I know that relatives can have separate rules for their homes ("I know mommy let's you jump on the sofa at home, but not here at Grandma's"), but I can't imagine any nanny worth her salt being able to sit back and do nothing while kids run wild and act obnoxious. I think your ex-friend's nanny was lucky to be fired. Now she can find a family that appreciates her and her skills. It's not like she beat the children for destroying her personal property, she used a non-violent, proven method of discipline. I can't believe any parent would disapprove.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if moms like these are afraid the nanny will do a better job than they could. You know, insecure and threatened. Personally, if I was that clueless I would accept my ineptitude and thank god for a smart, level-headed woman who knows what to do with kids. And I'd pick her brain for childcare tips.
Ciao, babies.
Why don't you take a picture of the parent getting the pedicure or engaging in some other meaningless task instead of dressing and caring for their child?
ReplyDeletestop pretending a nanny is the same thing as a parent. a nanny is a childcare professional. she gets paid to do a job. Just like a podiatrist.
ReplyDelete