Received Tuesday, March 20, 2007
8:40 this morning. One attractive, women dressed in grey suit/corporate gear sitting and speaking to one healthy looking, sporty type, wearing a Dodgers ball cap, plain white hoody and blue Levis. Both women were African American.
Woman #1 (in grey suit), "Shouldn't you be up in Greenwich working today"
Woman #2 (in plain white hoody), "The kids are off from school today. I just couldn't. I called off.
Woman #1 When are you going to get out of that mess?
Woman #2 As soon as I find something else.
Woman #1 Good luck with that.
Woman #2 The children I could deal with, but what the F--k am I doing working for a stay at home mom?
Woman #1 You knew that going in.
Woman #2 Yeah, but I didn't know what an incompetent b--ch she is.
This is of course all paraphrased. Conversation only got worse from there. Mother has young child and two in school who are home on break this week. Mother is in an extraordinarily bad mood because husband was supposed to get time off to take the family away this week but he did not. Nanny had no kind words for mother who she claimed was addicted to Valium. I am choosing to end now rather than reveal more of what I overheard, but I would be so angry to hear my personal life dished and dissected like that.
I agree with the nanny. So the father couldn't get away. He has a JOB to do. Unlike the mother who hired someone to raise her kids. Maybe, she could spend oh some time with them?
ReplyDeletePeople talk about their bosses-that is the way life goes. People in an office talk about their boss-why would you think a nanny situation would be different?
ReplyDeleteYou know what? People b--ch about their jobs. I do it, and for the most part I love my job. I love the woman I work for and think she's an excellent mother, but there are still times when I think she makes poor decisions (like everyone does) and those decisions make my job harder. At times, to blow off steam, I b--ch to my friends. They listen, they understand, and then I feel better.
ReplyDeleteNow, this woman was wrong to do her b--ching in a public place where she could be overheard, possibly by someone who knows this family personally. I will not stand up for her choice of venue, but it doesn't sound like anything that she said reflected poorly on the way she does her job. Also, I do think that the fact that she wasn't sitting in a Greenwich Starbucks may have spoken to the fact that she thought no one associated with her job would hear her frustrations. If she reads this post, she'll obviously rethink her feeling of anonymity.
Trying to put myself in the mother's position, I will admit that, as the OP states, I would also be angry to hear my personal life dished and dissected as described. What would make me even angrier still is to have a private conversation that took place in a different state from where I live BROADCAST ON THE INTERNET BY A STRANGER!
This post just seems the height of hypocrisy to me.
annie,
ReplyDeletekudos to you and your use of bold type. I agree with the hypocrisyu comment but how else would the parent ever know? I have heard stories that you wouldn't believe, mostly from the mouths of housekeepers. Housekeepers are privy to all the dirty laundry and stains. Literally. Never mistreat your housekeeper!
We have had this arguement before about how a household job is different from an office job. An outsider coming into a private home is privy to all the goings on and should learn to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to all of it and forget, and certainly not speak of things outside the home.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I agree with Annie. It's like the same thing has just happened to the nanny. She was having a personal conversation about her situation (at first) with reasonable expectation that no one who knew her would hear, but someone broadcast it to the world. Nanny should have stopped short when she got to all the dirt she shared. Now, the Mrs. might actually hear how disrespectful of family privacy her nanny is, and the fact that she ditched work. The nanny wanted out, now she might get it.
My viewpoint: If the Dad was supposed to get off of work this week to go away with the family, and all of a sudden could not, then the nanny was probably supposed to have the week off of work (since the family would be gone), and all of a sudden doesn't because the Mom can't stand to raise her own kids. I would be b**ching too!
ReplyDeleteCome on people who really cares. I bitch about my job to my friends all the time whether were in a starbucks,the car or target,It's the name of the game.And i thought this sight was for telling on nannys who are not treating their charges right from what i read the children were not with this nanny at the time she was bitching about her boss.
ReplyDeleteMy nanny could tell you the last person I had sex with, the toys I ordered from the Adult Toy Chest, my prozac dosage, the Class father I fornicated with in the Spring of 02 and so much more. Many, not all nannies have privy to very private details about the inner workings of a private home. I love my nanny but I love my attorney (who drew up the non disclosure agreement) more!
ReplyDeleteTrue, 11:48. But it speaks to the character of the nanny raising said children. I agree that people bitch about work, especially if the nanny just lost a week off (if she did - she may have been going with them). But she really shouldn't have shared anything personal about the family. There are kids involved.
ReplyDelete11:53 But isn't it more important to you to have a nanny who won't spill the beans in the first place rather than have to clean up your mess when the secrets spill out? Sue her all you want but the damage would be done. And the damage would be done to your kids at school when they get teased about their mommies antics.
ReplyDeleteStay at home Mom's who hire nannies to raises their children are lazy and pathetic. They can't parent, or don't want to. I'm with the nanny and commenter #1 on this one. The nanny should up and quit giving no notice. It's not like this Mom has to WORK outside of the home. It might be good for her to do some of the heavy lifting. Why have kids just to stay home and watch while someone elses cares for them? Lazy ass.
ReplyDeleteJMT: You're so right that "An outsider coming into a private home is privy to all the goings on and should learn to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to all of it and forget, and certainly not speak of things outside the home." But, the opperative word is SHOULD. I'm a good nanny, I'm discreet, and you can bet I wouldn't blab about my employer in a Starbucks, I'm human and I don't think I need to apologize for that.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, my best friend knows all the sordid details of the households I've worked in, and I mean ALL the details. She keeps my secrets, I keep hers and each of us is more mentally healthy for having the confidant.
Discretion is so important, but it's unreasonable to think that your nanny doesn't confide in. someone.
OP: Maybe you shouldn't have listened so hard. You're probably the only nosy person who overheard that much of a private conversation.
ReplyDeleteThis is a ridiculous post. Also did you have nothing better to do than listern ver batim and then psot it here. I hve heard lots of stories being told about people, but you know what its not my business and since this is a nanny bad positng shes not a bad nanny obviously she didnt mistreat any kids what are you a person who hates nannies and so whatevr imean this literally you see a nanny do you will post it here. do you go out daily and listen to other peoples conversatins and stalk out nannies so you can post here. come on get a life.
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me then, I'm a frequent poster on overheard in New York!
ReplyDeleteYears ago I would have said, I don't care what the nanny says to her peers in her town about me. But now I know that all nannies talk. You want a hit reality movie, have a scene where nannies, employers and children congregate. Then have the parents go upstairs for cocktails while the nannies watch the children play. You won't believe the stuff that comes out of their mouths. How do I know this? The best info I have, I get from my nanny who gets from other nannies. DH tells me I have to consider that she is gossipping right along with them. She may be, but as has become all too apparent our normalcy is as monotonous as it is tiresome.
ReplyDeleteLOL!!! Sweet!
ReplyDeleteOverheard in New York was the appropriate place for this post.
ReplyDeleteNot ISYN.
(My opinion, of course.)
She's one lazy nanny...calling off work because *gasp* the children are actually home!
ReplyDelete2:02 - Guess who else is home?!? THE MOTHER. The children should be HER job - first and foremost.
ReplyDeleteI do try not to judge but I must wonder, we have these high powered intelligent men who work like dogs, long hours, etc. Then they come home to the house that they bought and pay to maintain. Does wifey even cook his meals? If the housekeeper cleans and the nanny raises the children, why put up with a bitching woman? I don't understand how these men have any respect for these women. I am in a position where I can afford a full time nanny, but I am a stay at home Mom. I'll be honest, I don't clean. And I have a sitter Tues & Fridays & Saturday nights. But all my life I have wanted to be a mother. My husband is proud of his family. He takes great pride in the care and attention I give our children. This should be normal, right? But he has so many associates with sahm women who do nothing all day and then the men have to walk in the door at 7 and hear them bitch about it.
ReplyDeleteI have a nanny who works sometimes while I'm home. (Also sometimes when I'm at work.) Sometimes, she plays with two of the kids so I can help the other with homework. Sometimes, she gives one a bath while I take two for a walk. They get more individual attention that way. Sometimes, I even work at home while she's working. Gasp. We work together well and she seems to appreciate that I can help out when one of the kids is being difficult. I just dont get why people think you should only have a nanny if you work away from home 50 hours a week? There is nothing morally wrong with sharing the workload, especially given how uninvolved a lot of dads can be.
ReplyDeleteTo many, it may seem tawdry to post what amounted to a private conversation between two women in a public place, but there is much more to this post to ponder. The poster seemed primarily concerned that such matters were being discussed in public and even remarked that she would be angered should revelations about her personal life be broadcast in such a manner. As for myself, the biggest red flag in this post is that the mother of these children is depicted to be a full blown Valium addict. Should this be the case, this mother may be unable to properly care for her children.
ReplyDeleteValium is tremendously addictive and it is particularly easy to slide into a terrible cycle of destructive behavior with this drug. People who cannot handle stress of any kind often resort to taking anything that promises even temporary relief from their anxiety. Drugs to relieve sleeping problems and the many different kinds of tranquilizers on the market all have calming affects, and consequently, all of these drugs have the potential for abuse and addiction. Since all have a soothing or sedative effect, people addicted to these "downers" use many of them interchangeably, depending on what is available, often mixing them with alcohol. The tranquilizers and alcohol make a very dangerous, frequently lethal, combination.
It sounds as though this woman needs help and possibly an intervention. Isn't it true that anyone, including a nanny who sees a problem with a mother's care of her children, has an obligation to report said behavior that might endanger a child to the proper agency or to someone who is in a capacity to render help? I have seen people made completely helpless when on these drugs and very much unable to care for themselves much less a dependent child.
And the above is what is truly disturbing about the OP's post.
I am a nanny to a SAHM. She doesn't have a secular job outside of the home, although she does do occasional not-for-profit work. I am a nanny in every sense of the word. Not a baby sitter, not a housekeeper, a nanny. There to provide support to the parents and undivided attention to the needs of my charges. Formally educated in early childhood development and 150% happy with the role I play in the lives of that family.
ReplyDeleteI think this post is dumb. As many have said, we all bitch about our jobs. If you think your nanny doesn't then you are naive.
ReplyDeleteAnd the fact that the poster admitted that the conversation was paraphrased makes her lose validity.
the fact that she admits the conversation was paraphrased caused me to validate the post. I wouldn't trust someone who claimed to be able to recall every word precisely.
ReplyDeleteIt's not nice when your nanny bitches about it but it happens and is something which you can't avoid. if you think your employee doesn't talk about you, you're dead wrong. everyone talks about their jobs and rightly so when most people's lives are mostly spent on working (at least 8 hours a day).
ReplyDeleteWhile it is unpleasant, I don't think it's wrong.
I once heard 2 Caribbean nannies bitching to holy hell about their employers at Daffy's......in full ear shot of everyone on line AND in front of their charges, who were about 3 years old. I called them out on it (because they were using bad words to describe the mothers of the children right in front of the poor kids!), and of course they tried to get all loud and violent. Typical. I laughed right in their faces. I don't play their games, personally.
ReplyDeleteOf course parents NEVER complain about their nannies to their friends!
ReplyDeleteI'm not condoning bad language, speaking disrespectfully about parents in front of their children, or not going to work because the older children will be home, but come on people. this post is ridiculous.
there's a big difference here, ya know
ReplyDeletelmao! overheard in mew york is great, but overheard by the nanny would be even better. and i bet i could fill a whole book just riding metro north from ny to westchester for one week.
ReplyDelete12:28
ReplyDeletewell, let's hear some scoop!
A nanny should be subjuct to confedentiality clauses within his/her contract. Therefore, if I ever found out it was a nanny I employed. She would be fired on the spot and I would just employ another illegal immigrant to take care of my kids.(NOT, I use real licensed daycare facilities, not a fake non-job having lazy nanny. what kinda job is that anyways? Oh yeah, that right it's letting some one in your house to rob you of all the possessions you have worked so hard to achieve. LOL) Revoke the Visa people... And, like OMG, Valium is a prescription drug that can not be obtained with out a Rx; therefore there is aleady dr. intervention already going on..(unless daddy is a dr. that might be a legal problem)
ReplyDeleteThis lady makes enough money to employ a nanny and not have to work.. Come on Guys, Quit Hatin'on her and realize who the real criminal is in this case it's the "NANNY". (whatever)
10:24 Thank you for the biggest laugh I've had all day.
ReplyDeleteBTW nothing prevents people from going to multiple doctors for legal Rxs, but are you unfamiliar with the term "dealer"?
Doofus.
Let's get real. I get a low dosage of a diet pill from my doctor. He refused to up the dosage, so now I use two doctors. In two towns. I'm not saying in any way this is right, but it just isn't UNCOMMON!
ReplyDeletejmt Doofus? Now I know I really like you! Anyone who uses that word is ok by me!
ReplyDelete10:24 Since you asked "what kinda job" nanny is, I would like to point out that one of a nanny's duties is supervising homework. Your spelling and grammar are atrocious! Write each of your misspelled words five times so you will remember them, and diagram a few sentences to review the parts of speech.
ReplyDeleteA nanny
This is a such a joke. Frankly, if the mom wasn't all cracked out on valium, she probably wouldn't be so hard to work with.
ReplyDeleteI am so sick of mothers who think that nannies should fill the role of a "house accessory". There's a reason why slavery ended, folks! If she prefers to work with the kids alone, and that is how she was hired, that's her choice. It doesn't make her a bad person.
Working FOR someone and working WITH someone are two TOTALLY different things. It's usually only self-absorbed, non-understanding employers that don't seem to get this.
can you pleze tell me what werds I misppelled so I can learn better?
ReplyDeleteman I wish I had that much free time on my hands, to sit around and listen to other peoples conversations... and remember them word for word to !!!! wow .. now thats a bored person!
ReplyDelete