Received Tuesday, January 2, 2007
This was on Friday, 12/29 at about 2 PM in the afternoon.
Toys R Us Store in Paramus, NJ. Became aware of child being yelled at by what I thought was a parent in the next aisle over. I tuned in and heard the child who was a boy of about 7 say "you cant be so mean always, this is a present" and "I'm telling my mom on you and she won't like it". Turns out this was the babysitter/nanny and she had to take the child to Toys R Us to spend his gift certificate from his grandparents. The child was-of course excited to be in the store. And wanted to look around. The babysitter was mad that she had to do this with the child and wanted him to just "pick something". The babysitter then said "I am not chasing you all over this place. Pick something from this aisle. Now.". Then the boy says he wants to look at the models in a different aisle. And again says "stop being mean this is my Christmas present". Then the sitter said something like "You done got enough presents anyway. No child needs that many presents." This sitter was just an angry faced person. She was an overweight, African American with short, curly light brown hair and a wide, moon face. She was wearing a green velvet style running suit with a cream scarf around her neck and no jacket. The boy had freckles across his nose, dark eyes, dark curly hair, medium skin and was on the scrawny side. I am now in the same aisle with them and I smile at the boy. I tell him "My son loves models, what kind of models are you looking at". The babysitter rolls her eyes at me and says "He has plenty of models at home". This further showed how angry the sitter was with the kid. Now the boy asks again if he can go two aisles over to look at the models. The sitter says, "Didn't I tell you I don't have all day? You have five minutes". Now I am thinking of this kid's grandparents and if they knew that there gift certificate would cause the child so much gloom and doom. I say to the babysitter, "My husband got me a gift certificate to Kitson and I am more excited to go there and browse everything then spend it". Then I laughed. She narrowed her eyes at me and said "You don't know nothing about this boy and he's none of your concern". She was sharp as a tack and got my point, I'll say that- but she was also the nastiest witch in Paramus. So make sure it isn't your son she is taking care of!
Quite honestly, I would not have intervened in that situation --mainly because I do exactly the same things to my kids at Target, when their grandparents give them a gift card: I give them a strict time limit, or else I take the gift card away and spend it on clothes for them.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that the kid threatened, "I'm telling my mom on you and she won't like it," and the nanny continued to rush him, tells me there`s likely more to this story than the nanny being "the nastiest witch in Paramus," when some strange person (no matter how well-meaning) gave her unsolicited advice about how to do her job.
L,
ReplyDeleteare you the same person who spanks your kids? You also don't allow them to browse a toystore when granny gives them a gift certificate? You take it away and buy clothes? Why are you boasting about this? Eeekkkkks!
She may be mean, but the kid is no peach either. If you ask me, they deserve each other.
ReplyDeletel.; that is a totally dispicable thing to do to your kids...how would you feel if the tables were turned and someone did that to you?? >:( Your poor kids...what an awful "punishment" for wanting to browse. That's a really assholish thing to do.
ReplyDeleteIMO, I think this nanny is a total hag...what a mean thing to say to a kid who is trying to spend a gift certificate from a grandparent! This is one of the biggest reasons I stay home with my children, despite it being financially hard on my family. i don't want some witchy old nanny being a total jerk to my child.
But then again...why didn't the parent take the kid to the toy store on a weekend his or herself??
Gah, this blog is infuriating sometimes
Why am I boasting? Well, obviously, because I think setting limits is a very good thing.
ReplyDeletewhat is the world coming to when some kid can't take his gift certificate from nanny and poppy to toys r us and enjoy himself? Don't you think that is what his grandparents had in mind?
ReplyDeleteWhat limits need to be sent on spending a gift certificate at a toy store? If a kid can't have fun then, then when?
ReplyDeletehh...I don't think the grandparents had in mind their sweet little grandson threatening an authourity figure! The nanny/mom/childcare provider has every right to enforce rules and limits! This is why God gave children parents..to set limits and make rules. You obviously are one of those parents that let's your child run the show. When the nanny told the OP "this was none of her concern" she was Absolutley right!She should have mindede her own business!
ReplyDeleteThis child obviously has a habit of threatening the nanny with "telling on her"..what a spoiled brat! If my child were to talk back like that to myself or a care provider..he would be in BIG trouble!!
poster 2:19..you are way off base! "Witchy old nanny" ??? You must be the nanny-bashing poster that hits all the blogs with your anti nanny phrases!This nanny most likley had other duties and chores to run for the lazy ass parents and had probably already spent a bit of time with the child trying to decide on a toy! What is she suppossed to do spend all day roaming toys r us? Children need limits.You should know this if you have kids!
ReplyDeleteIf a child is at a toystore with a nanny that is being mean to him, what else can he do or say? I don't understand why when this was witnessed by a third party who had a problem with the way the child was being treated-why you are siding with the childcare provider? There is no reason to be mean to a child. You really are an awful person. I feel sorry for your children!
ReplyDeletehh..I think the grandparents had a different picture in mind and I am sure it included mom & dad taking their grandchild to Toys R US to pick out a toy..not pawning it off on the nanny!!Poor kid !! Stupid parents!!
ReplyDeleteI don't think that was an anti-nanny comment. Sensitive much? Thin skinned nanny?
ReplyDeleteI think the person was outraged at how the child was being treated. It is about the child.
It is about the children.
Wrong is wrong!
And yeay someone stepped in and said something!
11:12 am..Telling a child to make a choice and being mean to a child are TWO very different things!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWell lets give every one who imposes limits for kids a hard time why don't we?!!!
ReplyDeleteActually, most grandparents of children with nannies know the nannies. May have even spent time with the nanny. And I am sure the grandparents don't fault the child's parents for working. Did you ever think that perhaps the grandparents are proud of their children? And grandchildren? Regardless of who they thought would take the child to spend the gift certificate, it should have been a fun thing. If there was a grandparent's board, I would post this there. The grandparents would rip you apart for beating up this poor little kid who dared to get excited about his little gift certificate. He was 7 years old, right?
ReplyDeleteThis child was not mistreated..he was told to make a final decision. Does anyone know how long they had been searching for a toy?? The OP failed to mention this!
ReplyDeleteSounds to me like this wasn't about setting limits for the child. But a lazy childcare provider who immediately set limits on what the child could do with his gift certificate. Ie relegating him to ONE aisle. Sounds to me like she didn't want to walk. Nothing more. That makes this an unreasonable limitation for the child. We are talking about a Christmas gift.
ReplyDelete1117....are you telling me that you do not beleive a child who "threatens to tell on his nanny" is also not capable of being an indecisive brat at the toy store?
ReplyDeleteto poster 11:17.."Beating up" oh come on!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLazy childcare provider??..lazy parents!!Missing out on such fun with their son..no wonder he is such a brat!He is dying for attention from MOm & Dad
ReplyDelete11:14..actually she did not say anything..she took the cowardly way out and made an inference. She should have stayed out of it! And I am not a nanny I am a mommy who works fulltime and still finds time to go toy shopping with my child !
ReplyDeleteHello. I am the OP of this post. What I witnessed was not a child that was bratty at all. I saw them enter the store. She immediately gave him the perimiter of one aisle to look for his gift. Even though he in a very sweet voice asked to look at model cars. When she said no with a grunt and grimace, he asked not in a snotty way but in a pleading way "why are you being so mean". And I didn't take it that he was going to tell his parents nor was he threatening her. It seemed to me that he had dealt with this kind of behavior before. Toys R Us was filled with all kinds of kids that day. I am not in the habbit of budding into other people's business. I did because I felt sorry for this kid. No other reason. He did not deserve to be treated the way he was treated. I guessed his age at 7. He could have been six. He could have been eight. Nothing about that child suggested he was spoiled or a brat. And quite frankly I am shocked by the responses that I have seen here. Is this some attempt to prevent people from posting in the future? Some sort of grand plan? Do you think for one minute I care that you think I should have minded my own business? I only wish I would have said more. Unlike some of the responders here, I do not take lightly the mistreatment of children- at anyone's hands. While I am sorry I could not have provided you a more detailed blow by blow so that I could convince you all that this was indeed unacceptable, I was posting more in the hopes that this might cross the path of the parent. Unless this boy is your child or grandchild, your opinion is really not relevant.
ReplyDeleteto the nosey mommy at Toys r us..to bad you allowed your curiousity to interfere with your otherwise perfect parenting..where was your child while you were busy butting in??No doubt right next to you learning mommies wonderful habits!!This child obviously was not doing as he was told..end of story!
ReplyDeleteLazy Parents? My wife's bonus this year was more than I have made in my lifetime (thus far). We are both professionals. We love our careers. We love our families. In our absence, our children (both girls who are proud of their mother) are in the care of a top notch nanny. A nanny who has taken the girls previously to spend their gift certificates. And because she is a professional and a kind person, you can bet she did it with a smile on her face!
ReplyDeleteIf you had any intelligence whatsoever, you would know that the proper way to involve yourself in a situation is not to be confrontational and not to attack the abuser, but to befriend them.
ReplyDeleteSome of these people responding "the child was not doing as he was told, end of story" sound like they have seventh grade educations. I can't waste my time helping you catch up. It's a big, wide world out there. Go out there and educate yourselves! Take the Ignorance is Bliss bumper sticker of your Dodge Dart.
Standing up for any other human being is a habbit to teach. You must teach empathy. It does not spontaneously occur.
ReplyDeleteTo the OP funny how your story so quickly changes!! You say he said"stop being so mean" " I am going to tell my mom on you and she won't like it"..Now you say that the child did not say those things and was not acting bratty!! Get your story straight nosey butt!!!!
ReplyDeletenosey butt? How old are you? 8?
ReplyDeleteThis is obviously a bitter nanny who made mean comments to a child about the number of gifts he already received. Not acceptable. And by the way, if someone is mistreating a child, we encourage the child to tell their parents!
The fact that this kid said "I will tell my mommy and she won't like it" suggests to me that he was more cautioning her that mom wouldn't appreciate someone being mean to her child.
A kid in a toystore. Who would think you could ruin that experience for a child?
Can you imagine how awful this nanny is if she ever has to -gasp take the child for shoes or pick up milk?
To poster 11:34 you like yourself an awful lot don't you!
ReplyDeleteOP..your story DOES seem to lack consistensy?
ReplyDeleteOh boo hoo!! To all of you whiny parents..take your child to the toy store yourselves and then you can spend 3 hours looking at toys!
ReplyDeletea) to the op, thanks for responding
ReplyDeleteb) to the people saying the story lacks consistency, i think the Op tried to respond by clarifying the tone and feel of the exchange of which the words may not be exactly relative.
c) who would think the OP would have to come on here and defend herself?
d) as a working mother, stop bashing working parents. I pay my nanny $19 an hour (gross). If taking a child to a toystore is to overwhelming for a nanny, she needs to go apply as fry cook and KFC. These nannies are paid to do a job. A nanny berating a child for daring to want to browse a child is about the same level of professionality as a toys r us clerk taking a piss in aisle #9.
She is being paid to take the child to a toystore, so why are you screaming at a parent? She is on the clock. Getting paid. How you find cause to excuse this behavior-unfathomable!
ReplyDelete12:27,
ReplyDeleteyour post seems to lack proper spelling.consistency not consistensy. Combine that with your odd need to All Caps random words as in DOES- well all this leads me to believe your IQ teeters on the 79/80 border.
1227 because you find nothing wrong with the post except spelling..we see that you are one of those political type people that attacks the weekness as oppossed to the issue!! I hope you do not have children!
ReplyDeletenp-
ReplyDeletei find everything wrong with the post. This nanny sounds like a nightmare! Why are people defending her?
To the poster talking IQ..why jump off the tracks at this point! You change the subject to distract from the real issues that were addressed and btw..make sense!
ReplyDeletethe real issue is the child being mistreated. Not finding nine reasons to excuse this awful childcare provider!
ReplyDeleteFunny you tease the post above you for grammatical errors...and start your post out..i???Get off your pedastal and join the rest of us!
ReplyDeleteYou are not a NP... you are the same person trying to plead your case!!
ReplyDeletewhen someone starts a post, NP- that means "new poster"
ReplyDeleteAnd BTW, it is pedestal.
This child was not mistreated. He was a spoiled brat. If you are a good parent you have hired a nanny that is good with your children. If you are a lazy parent you send your child to the toy store with the nanny described above. All three..the nanny,bratty kid and lazy parents are to blame here!Get a grip!!!
ReplyDeleteWho is trying to plead what case?
ReplyDeleteThis is pathetic. I hope the parents of this child see this post. And I hope none of you all who failed to see the problem with this and instead see a bratty or spoiled child, please stay away from my children!
Spellit how you like you are the same old poster pretending to be someone new!!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry I would never allow my children around yours if you allow them to talk to adults in such a manner!
ReplyDeleteTo the angry anti nanny, anti child, anti working mother poster, go have a drink!
ReplyDeleteOh,I see this your way of making everything ok!!!A drink and all is fine!
ReplyDeleteTo 1:09 post...you are addressing about 5 different posts...be a bit more specific would ya?
ReplyDelete109 do you have kids? Do you drink to deal with them all day?
ReplyDeleteI think the poor nanny with the bratty kid needed a drink!! Poor thing!
ReplyDeleteYes I have kids and no I don't drink to deal with them. Nor was I suggesting I would drink to deal with you. I was suggesting a drink might help you with your rage and hate issues. Make it a double.
ReplyDeleteKnowing what you know now, OP-
ReplyDeletedon't you wish you would have beat the hell out of nanny not so dearest?
anon 113..you sure are defensive...do you always get so rattled?
ReplyDelete1240,107 & 109**I have seen this poster on many other blogs on this website. She attacks spelling and makes absurd suggestions and takes everything much to personally! She feels she is above the rest of us and always distracts from the issue.I think that is the only reason she is here!
ReplyDeletePart of the fun of getting a gift certificate is going out, looking at all the possibilities, weighing your choices, ruling out the ones that are more than the amount you have to spend and then picking out the winner. That goes for ages six to adult! For kids especially it's a great lesson in counting money and understanding value. My cousin's two kids, ages 10 and 12, a boy and girl, actually cooperated once when they decided they wanted to combine their gift cards and buy a computer game that they could share. Wow! That's what I'm talking about.
ReplyDeleteWhat if adults went shopping for a house or a car and were given three choices to choose from and ten minutes to do it? That wouldn't fly. We are taught how to examine our choices and judge for ourselves, and to ignore the salesman who only has his own interests in mind.
We learn the big lessons in life by learning the little lessons first. That's why this nanny pissed me off so much. And it is sad that the parents aren't there to guide and share the fun. And I don't think the kid is being a brat. He sounds like a lot of the other kids being bullied by their nannies on these pages and is just asking "why are you being so mean?" And I'm glad he's not afraid to tell anyone that his parents wouldn't like it if they knew. Better than keeping his mouth shut. That's how abuse is perpetuated.
Shame on the grumpy nanny. If you don't love to work with kids, you are in the wrong business!
I think you are right..she might be a phony and I have seen her post before as well!She is very aggressive and will attack like a pit-bull.
ReplyDeletetime and time again on this website we read about these horrible, abusive nannies. well where was mom and dad on this December 29th in Paramus, NJ?????
ReplyDeleteno one ever talks about that. you know they weren't working, and they still had the nanny work and they still had her do THEIR job.
you people are biased classists.
A nanny gets paid to do a job. Most often, she gets paid really well! By the by, I had to work on December 27th. I know many people who had to work. The lunacy to suggest the parents are doing something wrong here is beyond me. By the same token then, an individual who picks up a sandwich from a deli is a lazy scumbag who deserves food posioning for not staying home and making their own sandwich?
ReplyDeleteOh vey!
OP, in your original post you quote the child as saying "I'm going to tell my mom on you, and she won't like it". Now you say at 11:28 "I didn't take it that he was going to tell his parents, nor was he threatening her." That is a very strange interpretation of what he said. I agree that the nanny sounds horrid, but the child isn't very nice either, although that could be the result of spending his days with a lousy nanny.
ReplyDeletePlease people, don't bash the parents for sending the nanny on this outing. Going to the toy store with my charges is as much fun for me as it is for them. They need to find a new nanny.
A Nanny
I think what the OP corrected was the tone and not what was exactly said. I could take my child to a toystore and make some silly comment. But clearly this was not silly and it bothered the OP. I think it is crappy that OP has to defend her original post, crappier still that working parents are attacked and outright insane that anyone appears to recognize the stylized postings of one author.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the nanny and the poster above her. It should have been a fun experience for the child.
Although I always try, I have had to have my nanny take my child for shots at the dr. on one occassion. My nanny helps my 8 year old with homework when I am working late. These aren't great tasks, I know that. I prefer to do them but I am also confident that my nanny is a great nanny because she is capable of all the many tasks and possesses all of the many talents that a super nanny posseses. A toystore? How hard could that be? I have friends who have their "nannies" scrubbing their toilets!
OP says, "Unless this boy is your child or grandchild, your opinion is really not relevant."
ReplyDeleteWhy? She, as a perfect stranger, obviously felt she knew enough about the situation to butt in, based only on a few minutes of observation, not knowing any of the background.
I have been in a similar situation, in Target, when perfect strangers seem to think it`s okay to tell me not to let my daughter buy Bratz dolls, or to let my sons look at every goddamn toy in the store -- including some they already have at home.
L.
ReplyDeleteYou scare the hell out of me. I picture you all angry and tough in terry cloth. Possibly home schooling your children, bogging them down with chores while you sit online and play scrabble or something. I am guessing you are married to a truckdriver and even he is scared of you.
i think all these responses are a hoot. to the OP: other posters are correct in saying that it's obvious you did not know how long the people were in the store or you would have said that first. the child threatening the nanny does indicate his bratty behavior. that being said, we who were not there can't really say what's what, we can only surmise.
ReplyDeletebut to the father who says that his nanny gets paid 19.00 an hour and does her job with a smile on her face: he needs to realize that not all nannies get payed this rate. maybe in nj and ny but not in my area (se mass/RI) many of us get payed around 10.00 an hour. also, he may think she always has a smile but he may be surprised to know what she really thinks of him.
I agreed with the poster who said that she does the same with her kids in target when they get a gift card: my child is not old enough to shop yet, but i have been out with my sister's kids to spend gift cards and it can be frustrating and you do indeed need to set a limit.
too bad the parents in this story leave it to the nanny to set these limits.
angry 10 an hour nanny,
ReplyDeleteThe only thing the parents did wrong is trust this woman with their little boy and his special adventure to spend his gift certificate!
A green velvet running suit? I don't need to no ANYMORE!
ReplyDeleteAh, this reminds me of the sunshine post which many people failed to see the significance of. Here we go again. People, if the nanny is short with the child and belittles him at the local TRU, you can bet your bottom dollar that it isn't the first time, nor will it be the last. She obviously has a bug up the back of her green track suit, and it's biting her on her hemoroid.
ReplyDeleteParents, please teach your school age children to report this type of behavior.
No way I'm paying top dollar to have someone be a major buzz killer around my kids.
"No way I'm paying top dollar to have someone be a major buzz killer around my kids."
ReplyDeleteThat's what I'm talking about!
Teach your children to report these things. Keep an open line of communication directly between you and your child so that no one can censor that line!
Wow, 67 comments, and all basically about nothing any of you can prove because none of you except for the op were there. Why bother arguing? The op said that her intent of this post was to hopefully get to the parents of this child because she was concerned. It's up to the parents to decide if the nanny or the child were out of line.
ReplyDeleteSusan..you made enough of a mess on the "dangerous sunshine in the eyes blog...Go away..PLEASE!!!
ReplyDelete11:42, that was funny. But Susan is on the Money!
ReplyDeleteThanks, 1111. No one else here stated that as well as you did. Only the parents can decide how they want their child treated, or not treated. Personally, I would expect more patience given if it were my child in this situation.
ReplyDelete"Possibly home schooling your children, bogging them down with chores while you sit online and play scrabble or something. I am guessing you are married to a truckdriver and even he is scared of you."
ReplyDeleteIf I have no patience shopping with my children, why on earth would you think I would be homeschooling them???
And I`m married to a Japanese businessman who is no more scared of me than I am of him, which is to say, naught on the scare count. Sorry!
perhaps the child did not report it to the parents because the child is a brat and knows if he did the nanny would report one of his own offenses.
ReplyDeleteI am a NP. I think that there are lots of variables at play. First off, there are appropriate ways of speaking to children.(I know that my kids are respectful of adults as well. Two way street, perhaps?)
ReplyDeletePossibly, the child was overwhelmed by the amount of choices given and he needed to have some limits set. When I have taken my kids to a toy store, we pick out 5 or 6 choices throughout the store. To limit a child to 1 aisle, isn't very fair.
I think that the Nanny really had some concept of limit setting but it sounds like she only used it to benefit herself. On the other hand, the boy sounds like he needs some limit-setting from someone who is a bit more patient and... sane!
Oh gee. "Go away." How funny, especially when commanded by a nanny who fails to see that she endorses bad behavior in other nannies. And why is that? Because she hasn't a clue herself. But thanks for trying... Good luck keeping your temper in check around your charge in 2007.
ReplyDeleteSusan you are slipping!
ReplyDeleteblackpanthershay..poor baby!!!
ReplyDeleteyour postin honey and postin and postin!
ReplyDeleteDon't you hate when it takes forever for your reply to post? Ugh.
ReplyDeleteNo parent would be happy to know their child is being spoken to in such a nasty way. If this is how you CHOOSE to speak to a CHILD, you have no business being a nanny. There are other ways, PLEASANT & CIVILIZED ways of communication and teaching children boundaries and limits. Children learn my example. FYI - Most parents that have nannies are not LAZY, they are WORKING!.
ReplyDelete