Received Friday, January 12, 2007
I have seen a nanny several times over the past few months waiting on a bread/soup line in front of Holy Trinity on W. 82nd between Amsterdam and Broadway in NY, NY. She is Hispanic or Asian, under 5 ft tall, wears glasses, and is caring for a white infant, a boy, probably around 6-8 months old, who is usually in a (Peg Perego?) navy pattern stroller. The line is for homeless people in need of a hot cup of coffee and a sandwich in the morning. She turns her back to the child in order to receive the sandwich and coffee. She seems like a gentle soul, and I have never seen her mistreat the child. But she should not be waiting in an often unruly line of homeless adults, many of whom have mental health problems and are on medication, and some of whom have been known to start altercations and even draw blood. I think this woman’s employer should know that for the cost of a cup of coffee and a few sandwiches, her nanny would (hopefully) not be there.
Yikes.
ReplyDeleteWow thats really sad.
ReplyDeleteIt is apalling that this woman would not feel welcome/comfortable opening up the fridge to help herself to food. Her employers should be ashamed. To all families who employ a nanny...if you value the attention and care that this person provides to your family, the least you can do is help make the person feel like they are a part of it. While working as a nanny, I was repeatedly stunned by the rudeness of my employers. There is nothing worse than having to serve a person who does not recognize your humanity. Thankfully there are families out there who understand this basic notion.
ReplyDeleteIt would appear that she is not allowed to make herself a sandwich and a cup of coffee for lunch in her work families kitchen, and is paid very poorly. This is really appalling!
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing that nanny didn't do so well at bonus time either!
ReplyDeleteso sad that this should be happening in New York. I bet that she is working for an affluent family too.....so sad!
ReplyDeleteI think I saw her employer on Urban Baby complaining about the -gasp- slice of bologna that had gone missing one Tuesday. Two slices. Bread reported "disturbed" but it was not immediately known if any was taken as copious amounts of bread would have to be sorted through.
ReplyDeleteI cannot beleive the comments that you have all made? Let me tell you 1st and foremost..no-one stands in a food line unless they have no other choice!! You have not provided ANY evidence as to why you state this is a nanny and not a mommy in need of help?!And before you even start in..I will fill in the blanks..I myself have needed help in the past when I was a single mom raising my son and I have stood in line at the Salvation Army for food.I was given a Peg Perego high chair and a gorgeous top of the line stroller..both that had been donated to the shop..I am white as cotton and my son is dark skinned,taking after his mexican father..now tell me why this is the nanny and not a mommy in need?
ReplyDeleteif it walks like a nanny and talks like a nanny,
ReplyDeletechances are...............
oh okay!!!You are so smart to come up with that!! jeeze people get a clue just because it is posted in writing does not mean that it is true!!!
ReplyDeleteI just have to respond as I have a nanny who works m-f. I am a stay at home mom. I do most of the grocery shopping. Only recently, I had a conversation with two of my friends regarding all the groceries I had to keep on hand. For playdate lunches. And to be hospitable, we of course offer lunch to the playdate's mother or nanny. One of my friends- the one who is easily the most affluent-then barked how she wasn't feeding "her own nanny, much less someone else's" and that she "should brownbag it or would be SOL". I was speechless. The friend continued on that if she had to shop for and feed a nanny,she would be in the submissive role and that she was the boss. Interestingly, her nanny works the longest day of any of the nannies in our circle. I don't know what time she has to get up to make the train from the Bronx or at what time she returns. In all, her day must easily surpass 12 hours. Not too mention, the cost of transportation on metro north and cabs during incliment weather. Would it surprise you to know that some employers never offer their nanny a ride to the station? When you are living paycheck to paycheck, I am guessing all of these costs add up. It makes me ill to think that someone who spends 12 hours a day in your home caring for your baby wouldn't be welcome to have lunch in your home. I don't know how some of these nannies do it with the long hours they do it with a commute. There are many nannies out there that shouldn't be working with children, but there is a greater percentage of nanny employers out there who fail to show the nanny even the slightest of courtesy. And that is the shame.
ReplyDeleteAnd to all of the parents out there who "let" their nanny eat lunch there, please stop acting like you have extended some great kindness! You have done nothing but that which is the right thing! If you don't know how to treat the person you trust your children to, take your children to a daycare! And if you come across this person in line again, especially if she is a nanny-please hand her a gift certificate to subway. How humiliating that a nanny-someone so close to the fringes of the upper class-should be reduced to standing in a line for homeless people!
I am a nanny who works a ten hour day..not including my commute time. I pack my own lunch every morning. This is not because my boss would not supply food but out of respect for my boss. They have their own family to feed.The majority of employers do not feed their employees..why should it be any different for a nanny position?
ReplyDeleteto poster 1245 and this surprises you that the person who said " she was not about to feed her own nanny much less someone else's" why?? Snobby bitch. After what I have read on these blogs it does not surprise me one bit! I hope you re think your friendship with this person. Afterall she will have some sort of effect on your children if they play with her kids!!!
ReplyDeleteAre you kidding me? "humilited by standing in line for food"? You know..I hope that poster 12:45 understands just what she is saying and that she is just as bad as her "friend" I am a single mom of 3 boys. my husband passed away a year ago. Taken young,we were not prepared. i was a sahm and we were paycheck to paycheck with about $12000,00 in our savings. We did not own a home yet. I am 32. I now work in a doctors office as a receptionist. I will not tell you about all of the help that I count on to survive,including standing in foodlines at a few local churches for a bag or 2 of food.
ReplyDeleteShould I be humiliated? Is that really how you feel about those of us that are not where you are in life? You are a snob and you can go to hell!
I walk with my head high and am pround of who I am and my children. You see my social status or posession of material things does not define who I am..obviously yours do define who you are! You probably think you have it all..I feel very sorry for you!
to whomever posted at 1245..atleast your friend is honest about her feelings on the people she looks down on! You are worse than her kind..you hide your true feelings behind patronizing pity."reduced to standing in a line for homeless people" ?? Why use the word reduced? Your true colors are showing! You are a snob!
ReplyDeleteShould read Nanny IN bread line!Not ON bread line!
ReplyDelete12:57, You are different because you work in their home and, I assume prepare food for their kids. I assume you are allowed to eat in the same room with their offspring/hellspawn, and should therefore be eating the same food. Do you have to bring the extra water with you to flush the toilet too? If you don't feel that comfortable that you can eat out of this family's fridge you can find a welcoming family who will treat you like a human being.
ReplyDelete5:15 PM, you hit the nail on the head. She probably doesn't even think she said anything wrong. Well now she might. Sounds like a limousine liberal to me. All talk. But not a damn thing more. I tell you LIBERALS ARE RUINING THIS COUNTRY.
ReplyDelete1245, thank you. Disregard the idiotic post towards you. I, like yourself, feed anyone in my home. My nanny not only can help herself anytime, but I also provide money for her venturs out with my child.
ReplyDelete108 and 515, don't put words in her mouth. It's humiliating to watch someones kids and then be treated like an outsider. There is nothing humiliating about recieving support. It can happen to anyone. Don't assume she is a snob herself, because to me, she sounds wonderful. But she may want to rethink that friendship.
108, I'm sorry for your loss. Times are not easy, and I applaud you raising three children on your own. And you should walk with your head high. My own mother raised my brother and myself all by herself. She left my father without anything.(a bit too proud, I say) She was on welfare for about 4 months, got a job, found a new home for us, and accepted help when offered. Her own needs came second. To this day, I look up to her.
559, who cares? Go play with your toys.
721, keep your political viewpoints to yourself. Go google CNN or something.
ReplyDelete559(Grammar police) who cares?
ReplyDelete12:57 It is different from other jobs in that if you work in an office for example, you have a lunch hour, when you can go out to eat. Many large companys have employee cafeterias where prices are very low. Many employers order diner sent in when the staff has to work late. If you want to bring your lunch, that is fine, but if a nanny is working ten or eleven hour days in a home, it is only decent to provide her with a simple lunch
ReplyDeleteCan I just express how furious I am with random grammar freak who thinks she is somehow smart? In Detroit, we say STAND IN LINE. In New York, they say STAND ON LINE. In Detroit, we say "Turn the lights off". In New York, they say "Shut the lights". It isn't incorrect. It's just a different way of speaking based on where you live!
ReplyDeleteWhere are you? Kansas?
You know you must be the same people who feel the world owes you! Don't your employees have their own families to feed? What is wrong with all of you?Your boss does not owe you a meal.get your lazy butts up in the morning and make your own..and your husbands while you are at it!Good greif!!
ReplyDelete4:49, you are so ignorant!
ReplyDeleteNo one owes their nanny lunch. But some of the ways I have seen employers treat their nannies is reprehensible. It used to be people with money and privilige had a certain kindness that comes with class.
Too much NEW money!
People with too much to prove!
Sick.
449 wrong..it is incorrect! Just because different vernaculars are used throughout the states does not mean that they are all correct!! Call any of your local schools..they will clarify this for you!
ReplyDelete"Shut the lights" is incorrect! It is not even a complete sentence! Where are YOU from?
ReplyDeletestep away from the coffee pot. Oh my.
ReplyDeleteI always heard that you were not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition!
"Shut the lights off".
See the preposition?
Stand on line is correct as is Stand on line!
np
I think the nanny that would allow herself to be treated in bad manner puts herself in that position!! Why?? Why am I suppossed to feel sorry for her because she chooses to work for employers that treat her rotten?
ReplyDeletenp..you are wrong!
ReplyDeleteStand on Line for Tickets.
ReplyDeleteStand in Line for Tickets.
Both correct. Don't know about the lights though. Get over yourself. Go plant a tree. Do something for the world!
the word on by definition indicates contact with and supported by the top surface..so I am sorry but those of you trying to prove your cause here are WRONG!! It may well be that people all ovet the world say it but it is incorrect!! Unless you are standing on the shoulders of the person in front of you!
ReplyDeletenp..would agree that "turn the lights is also appropriate?
ReplyDelete5:05,
ReplyDeleteYeah those people at MIT don't know what they are talking about.
click on the link by my name to see what I am talking about.
the get over yourself line is so used!! Just because you don't have any knowledge of proper English does not give you the right to tell people what to do!
ReplyDeleteLokk the word up..does it still make sense after learning it's definition?
ReplyDeleteI loathe "Get over yourself".
ReplyDeleteBut, as every good grammarian knows, you should never end a sentence with a proposition.
When you stand outside with a long line of people waiting to get in somewhere, are you standing "in line" or "on line" (as in, "I stood ___ in the cold for two hours before they opened the doors")?
ReplyDeletea. on line (5.49%)
b. in line (88.30%)
c. both sound equally good (5.36%)
d. neither (0.12%)
e. other (0.73%)
(10689 respondents
ginny & np ..I'd say 88% know what they are talking about !
ReplyDeleteor begin a sentence with but!
ReplyDeleteThat wasn't my point. Look at the map and see where the people are who say "stand online". Then cease trying to correct the vocabulary of people who are not in your neighborhood.
ReplyDeleteThe proper response is "shut the lights out" not off!
ReplyDeleteGet it correct!!!
ReplyDelete5:22,
ReplyDeleteyes in trailer parks everywhere, they say "shut the lights out".
a light cannot be out or in.
it can be on or off.
God, are we done yet? Or do you want to meet me at someplace with free wifi and google "common spelling and vocabulary errors of the undereducated"
I really do not care where you live proper English is proper English and unless you know something that Webster does not..you need to back off because you are not going to win this one! You are wrong!
ReplyDeleteI stand in line. Not on line. But I know other people, even right next to me in line, who are standing "on line".
ReplyDeleteI turn the lights on. I turn the lights off. I do not close the lights. I do close the blinds. I close the door. I close the drapes. I do not shut the lights. I shut the window. I shut the door.
What else can I shut?
Das right.
524 so you agree the correct usage would be "shut the lights off" and stand in line?
ReplyDelete525 who cares what you do???
ReplyDelete524 you mean uneducated!
ReplyDeleteI do. And I meant undereducated. You know, like um, those with some kind of education. But nothing great.
ReplyDeleteif we are going to go off subject, can we at least keep things factual???
ReplyDeleteRun to your local library and check out, The Diana I Knew: Loving Memories of the Friendship Between an American Mother and Her Son's Nanny Who Became the Princess of Wales.
Detroit, NYC, in, on- In Westport, we stand neither in nor on line. We pay people to handle that sort of task.
ReplyDeleteBlah blah blah. Can no one here ever agree on anything? All this squabbling over how to phrase a simple task..tsk tsk ladies. I hope your children behave better than you do. Who really cares? How someone else phrases something has no effect on anyone but themselves. So shut up. 'Kay?
ReplyDeleteP.S. Don't you think that arguing such a stupid think seems, well, "undereducated"? And there are about 30 posts directed at grammar!!
Brwahahahahahahah!!!
Oh,Okay Westport snob!! Keep up with those Jones's we would not want anyone to think you were falling behind in the social scene..afterall that is all you have in life...SAD!!
ReplyDelete259 does your mommy know you are playing on her computer honey?
ReplyDelete1201 Sorry, but the posts bore me. I wasted a lot of my time hoping to read posts that have some integrity to them. I'm just sick of digging thru all the crap to read the relavant stuff. Just saying...I think it's a lot of the posters here that need to put down their Barbies.
ReplyDeleteIt may be of interest to some of you to know the origin of "on line". Years ago in NYC there were lines painted on the playgrounds of public schools. When recess was over, students were required to line up with their classmates by literally standing on the line. Ergo the saying get on line.
ReplyDelete1234 you are a breath of fresh air!! Thank you!! Now, will everyone stop the argument?
ReplyDelete1209..so bored?? Get lost then!
ReplyDeletei agree with the posting... but i think you are also assuming she is a nanny. how can you tell for sure?
ReplyDeleteI couldn't resist...
ReplyDeleteThere are variations in the same language based on geography.
Yes, there are rules of language, but there are certain things that are indeed negotiable.
If that were not the case, then American English would be largely incorrect compared to British English. Because by some of the logic I'm hearing, the British should have the final authority on English speaking all over the world.
Likewise I wish people would stop being overly offended. Being "reduced" to accept handouts does not necesarily mean that poor people are inferior. It means the situation they are in is pretty much undesirable.