Received Tuesday, September 26, 2006
I frequently see your nanny picking up and occasionally dropping off your son, Cam, who is almost 5 at his kindergarten class. She has another little girl in tow who is about 2 and blond. Your nanny is Caucasian, brown hair, wears black sunglasses and has a perpetual scowl on her face. She is in her early twenties and drives a silver Mazda. She is absolutely awful to your children, especially your son. He gets a time out in kindergarten almost every day and she berates him for it in front of everyone right after class. She never greets him when he walks out with his arms full of things he did, she simply steps in front, bends over him and asks how many time outs he got. One day he lied and said none (I'm sure he was terrified) and she was livid and said she hated him lying to her, and she was tired of him getting time outs, and when he looked down she grabbed his chin and held his face up at hers while she talked, and said she was going to call his father. He started crying and ran off and she chased him all over the playground and yelled at him and his sister while all the parents stood and watched in shock. She came in the other morning late with them and the only thing she did was yell at the little girl to get back where they were walking. This past week, your son came out and when she asked him about time outs, he admitted he had one and she turned completely red and started in on him, made him cry, then called one of you on the phone and gave it to him to talk. He laid on the slide and sobbed while she stood over him with her arms crossed, then she snatched the phone away and grabbed him by the arm and walked him to the car, all the while holding him by the wrist, and his sister walked behind while she would yell over her shoulder, "You better hurry up or we'll leave you here!" and the little girl would race to catch up while saying, "No, no, I coming!" After the caught up to me in the car at the stoplight, her window was down and her music was quite loud, and she was still red and shaking her head, and only turned around to tell both of them she had a headache because of the day and they needed to be quiet.
Because of the position I am in that I can't disclose, I can't say anything directly to your nanny, but this is one of many resources I am using to try to let the parents know what is going on.
I've met and seen enough of this to know your child is terrified of her, and that she is an awful nanny. Please don't let her ruin your child's lives by letting her stay on.
10:05 PM EST September 25, 2006 UPDATE RECEIVED
"I am the poster. I believe we have gotten in touch with the parents, thanks to the viewers of this site. I'll keep everyone updated".
This is so sad. But how do you know it is a nanny treating these children this way, and not their own mother? Just curious.
ReplyDeleteI have seen this same nanny, she has yanked the little one by her arm and yelled and pointed in her face. She drives terrible and clearly needs to change her job title.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand something...What can your position be that you CAN"t say something directly to the parents? at least say something to a teacher, or the principle, have them see it happen,and let them take it from there and report it to the paents. Someone has to take responsibility for this,and the nanny has to be stopped. I don't agree with much od what Hillary Clinton says, but sometimes she's right....it does "take a village to raise a child" IMHO, it's not right to not do something if you can.I'm not criticizing you, but if you can't step in, get someone to help. : )
ReplyDeleteThere are people everywhere who do not get involved! We have a situation at our school where a nanny I am friendly with has shared details with me of her employer who calls one of her sons retarded and prevents him from participating in family activities- saying that he is a "tard". (He is not mentally retarded). There are clear indications of extreme verbal abuse in the home and no one says anything. I told MY boss (I am a nanny) and my boss told me to "Stay out of it". When I attempted to say more, she basically said "People know". But obviously people aren't doing anything. Perhaps the parents in this situation have money? Money is a great insulator. People fear "upsetting" the wrong people. The eye must be always on the child!
ReplyDeleteI am the poster. The girl has told me she is the nanny when I asked if the little girl was her daughter. I just wanted to get this information out there, and I have never seen the parents with the child and have no idea who they are or where they live, so it's a little hard for me to let them know.
ReplyDeleteYou are just as guilty as the abuser if you just stand by and let it continue to happen.
ReplyDeleteDon't try to make someone feeling bad for taking the step of posting it here. It may not seem like a lot, but most people are comfortable with doing NOTHING!
ReplyDeletedo you work at the school? if you do, i think you should be able to report this to the principal. even if youre just a parent or a volunteer, you still can. this seems like emotional abuse to me, and by law school officials are REQUIRED to report it. if they wont do anything, call the cps and report them, and then report the nanny yourself. what makes me sad is that those are some young children...2 years old! my son is 2, and hes barely more than a baby! these children depend completely on us to provide for them physically and emotionally, and to take advantage of their vulnerability like that is just disgusting.
ReplyDeleteum, this nanny sounds like a psycho nut job! She carries on like this IN FRONT of everyone at pick up? That poor kid at school! How could the parents think this nanny is good? What kind of nanny says "I hate" while pointing at the child! And why is everyone trashing the person for posting this here? Obviously MANY MANY people were content to say nothing! Teachers are MANDATED reporters. What the hell?
ReplyDeleteIt is hard as a teacher to know what legally constitutes abuse, or neglect. If one raises questions without having proper evidence on a charge as serious as mandated reporting of abuse, it may have one of two effects:
ReplyDelete1) The impression of crying wolf on something that may or may not be a difference of opinion about child-rearing, and
2) If suspicion is raised in certain circumstances, and found to be false, it can constitute slander or libel.
As teachers, while we are part of the village that raises the child, we have to be conscious of the plurality of cultures and ideas that make up that village. Parents have the right to raise their children as they choose. We want to work as a team with parents, not antagonize them.
The case posted here strikes me as not enough evidence to put the nanny into the category of mandated reporting on abuse and neglect. She doesn't sound like I'd want her for my nanny, but I would be hesitant to report her to any social authority.
If you work at the school, it may be a crime under your state law NOT to report abuse.
ReplyDeleteI am the poster, and just to clear it up, I do not work at the school, but like I stated, the position I do have is one where I can not directly contact the nanny. However, we have contacted the parents and are waiting to see the outcome. I will keep you posted.
ReplyDeleteLet us just clear this up. The poster did not work at the school. The school playground is freckled with people who do work at the school. Mandated Reporters. If everyone who thought they saw a child being mistreated got involved and said or did something, this nonsense would stop! Having said that, how many nannies do you think work their butts off to take care of the kids in their care and then hand them over to their parents at night and know the parents are not good. You think this NEVER happens? It happens. Nannies need a whistle blowing act. Many nannies are dependant on paychecks signed by abusive parents and if they get involved, even say word one- they will be fired. And before you high and might people say how that would be better because "I could never work for an abusive parent", think of the child. An abusive parent lucks out when she gets a good nanny. And if the nanny is fired for speaking up, what do you think is going to happen the next time the employer has to hire a nanny? Either the nanny will be foreced to sign a militant style confidentiality agreement or the employer will troll the gutters to find the kind of nanny who knows she is luck to have a nanny job. The whole nanny thing is a mess! I worked as a nanny in San Diego for a very affluent family for two years. They treated me like on of their family. It would never occur to me to lie to them or to mistreat their children. Maybe it is because that is the kind of person I am or maybe it is because that is how they treated me. To all you parents who are on this blog, if you have a good nanny- share your story! There are good nannies everywhere. There are good parents everywhere. Then there are very bad nannies and very bad parents. It's a hodge podge of dysfunction!
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you parents who have abusive nannies try downsizing your lives? For the sake of your children, why not stay at home with them? It's appalling that you greedy people dump your kids with strangers so you can make more money, yet are surprised when your kids are abused. Ten years from now your children will be drug addicted teens, with many problems due to the absence of their parents.
ReplyDeleteRAISE YOUR OWN CHILDREN!
We need a blog to out the parents who are too busy getting rich to spend time with their own children.
ReplyDeleteThank God all the self righteous parents who can stay at home with their kids spoke up- like we really need to start a "out" parents who need dual income to support their household. We've all met you at the parking lots and listened to you drone on about your pedigrees and degrees (pre-children, of course) or the lack thereof- and the noble cause you've all undertaken to raise your kids. Please, get a life.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't bother me. All I see is envious people who wish they could afford a nanny, had an education that would warrant a return to the workforce, etc.
ReplyDeletethis nanny should be put in jail,any nanny who is abusive in ANY way shape or form should be arrested and put in jail i hope the parents of these poor children get them help befor they get anymore"timeout's"
ReplyDelete