tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post7576822077856503026..comments2024-03-19T03:27:24.068-04:00Comments on I SAW YOUR NANNY: Should I come clean to my employers and tell them who their best friend really is?Leigh Raymerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18210572527823459842noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-74445396615482331692007-03-17T14:15:00.000-04:002007-03-17T14:15:00.000-04:0010:50 Why not tell the new nanny too? She's the...10:50 Why not tell the new nanny too? She's the one who is going to be pestered by Merv the Perv, not the Mom. Just tell her, "Hey, when this guy visits several times a week, stay away from him." Mom may not say anything to the au pair.<BR/>And you are right about not blaming the victim.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-5821729475670699822007-03-16T22:50:00.000-04:002007-03-16T22:50:00.000-04:00I think it's terrible to tell her to keep quite in...I think it's terrible to tell her to keep quite in case someone gets mad at her, as if she is doing something wrong. Blaming the victim! I think she should tell the mom about it privately not the new nanny.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-60744789921158454582007-03-16T15:32:00.000-04:002007-03-16T15:32:00.000-04:00Staying in contact with the former nanny/former na...Staying in contact with the former nanny/former nanny employer is such a symbol of status. Enviable, really. What a recipe for success. Not just for the new nanny but for the children and for the employers to have this back up person to call on. How truly wonderful. Guard that relationship by telling the mother your concern. Tell her honestly that you were ambivalent about saying something.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-53479212114427449682007-03-16T15:30:00.000-04:002007-03-16T15:30:00.000-04:00I too am a nanny. Honestly I would tell your prev...I too am a nanny. Honestly I would tell your previous employers. Choose whoever you think would take it the best, or if you feel it they both would be fine, tell them both.<BR/><BR/>I suggest telling them in a calm manner, as others have said to do. I would also not talk about this at dinner time, but rather when the children are not around.<BR/><BR/>I would state your concern for the current au pair and point out the things mentioned such as the language barrier. <BR/><BR/>I would also tell the parents that when it happened to you that it was unpleasant, and that your concern is that the current nanny might feel the same way and not know what to do. I would also state to them that you are not wanting to step on their toes, or ruffle their feathers, but that this is a concern of yours. And since you feel as though you are a trusted extension of their family that you really needed to tell them this because you have experienced it first hand.<BR/><BR/><BR/>All in all, I would tell them. Please I beg of you. I wish someone had done the same for me, with the job I just left because of a similar situation.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-49409062969556065152007-03-14T10:07:00.000-04:002007-03-14T10:07:00.000-04:00The "unprocessed" exposer was from a responding po...The "unprocessed" exposer was from a responding poster. Priceless description, BTW. Love it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-10573552169230249122007-03-14T01:36:00.000-04:002007-03-14T01:36:00.000-04:00It is not the employer dad who is doing the harass...It is not the employer dad who is doing the harassing, it is the neighbor who is a friend of the employers. Read more carefully people!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-16366611759390765912007-03-13T20:46:00.000-04:002007-03-13T20:46:00.000-04:00You guys have reallys strayed pretty far from the ...You guys have reallys strayed pretty far from the original post. The nanny was writing about a neighbor, not the husband! And he never exposed himself to her, just hit on her.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-30815573623139076372007-03-13T20:03:00.000-04:002007-03-13T20:03:00.000-04:00Wow...I don't even know how to handle that questio...Wow...I don't even know how to handle that question....<BR/><BR/>I would say something to the nanny, yet not come right out and say it. DO ask her if she has met Mr. Xposing Myself, Am I Hot? and what she thinks of him. DO NOT come right out and say that he did this or he did that. It can ruin your reference from this family. Also, keep in mind, that like parents, wives can be in denial about their husband's behavior. Communication is the key to a great nanny/parent relationship. <BR/><BR/>Talk to the wife, and be professional about it. State your concerns in a matter of fact way, and see what she says. If she doesn't want to listen, then she may have to find out for herself about her husband. And where does she want to find out? After she finds out her husband cheated on her with the au pair?<BR/><BR/>18, Scandinavian? He didn't happen to hire this girl, did he?<BR/><BR/>Hmmmm....keep us posted!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-14886007286738156282007-03-13T17:38:00.000-04:002007-03-13T17:38:00.000-04:00I think you should tell them. I know that I would ...I think you should tell them. I know that I would want to know if my "friend" is harassing my nanny in any way. She's part of the family and also a friend and if he hurts her, then he hurts me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-17185183935540208382007-03-13T15:27:00.000-04:002007-03-13T15:27:00.000-04:00The behavior you are describing is called "sexual ...The behavior you are describing is called "sexual harrassment" when it happens in an office setting.<BR/><BR/>Men who do this sort of thing don't stop until they are stopped. They don't take "hints". They push the boundaries until something pushes them back.<BR/><BR/>OP, please say something to your previous employer (the wife, not the husband). Keep it calm, not accusing, and you may find that the wife knows her husband is a jerk in that way... and you may be able to suggest that she warn the new au pair as well. Regardless of whether he ever "tries anything", if he's making her uncomfortable, she won't be as good with the children.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-82786515745678077472007-03-12T19:37:00.000-04:002007-03-12T19:37:00.000-04:0011;46OH, possibly a European then?11;46<BR/>OH, possibly a European then?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-24062705453467156902007-03-12T18:44:00.000-04:002007-03-12T18:44:00.000-04:00He is a pervert. You need to tell your past employ...He is a pervert. You need to tell your past employer about the situations he would put you in. This is wrong and I would not want my children around such a person. She can do with the information as she wishes, but at least you did your part about warning her of a possible molester.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-36436745990802235172007-03-12T16:03:00.000-04:002007-03-12T16:03:00.000-04:00I would tell them, and the new nanny... Just to be...I would tell them, and the new nanny... Just to be safe.<BR/><BR/>Though the news may not go over well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-60556829909021521122007-03-12T13:10:00.000-04:002007-03-12T13:10:00.000-04:00as a nanny, here is my .02.there is one family tha...as a nanny, here is my .02.<BR/><BR/>there is one family that i worked for as a nanny in the past and still consider them to be family to me. i visit them often and they fly me out to visit, etc. we were very, very close for a few years. i know that if something was bothering me about something similar to your experience, i would tell them and they would listen.<BR/><BR/>if there is a mutual respect there, then i would sit them down and start off by letting them know it was a hard decision to make, but you felt it was eating away at you and you had to talk to them.<BR/><BR/>i'd be interested to see how it goes! trust your gut!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-41386813550530581662007-03-12T11:46:00.000-04:002007-03-12T11:46:00.000-04:00fg,Quite frankly, it frightened me. It was- shall ...fg,<BR/>Quite frankly, it frightened me. It was- shall we say - 'unprocessed'.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-65386644126312852692007-03-12T10:25:00.000-04:002007-03-12T10:25:00.000-04:00Sorry to break it to you, but Mr. X has been screw...Sorry to break it to you, but Mr. X has been screwing your employer for years now. This complimenting you was just banal hugger-mugger. Face it, Mr. X is one fine looking cockscomb and talking to your employer about him will make her green eyed and ill at ease.<BR/><BR/>Little Children?<BR/>See the Movie if you haven't.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-48806302260729336342007-03-12T10:20:00.000-04:002007-03-12T10:20:00.000-04:00Being a nanny myself, I think you should def let h...Being a nanny myself, I think you should def let her in on the Mr X situation. If she is comfortable dealing with his advances she will appreciate the heads up, and she will deal with it herself, If she's not comfortable then she will quit or just choose to not hang out with him and his kids..I don't see why Mr X is such a big part of your other family either. I have been a nanny for my family for 2 years now and have never once met their "best friends" during working hours...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-77281234964266601842007-03-12T00:56:00.000-04:002007-03-12T00:56:00.000-04:00Sexual innuendo and unwanted touching is a hostile...Sexual innuendo and unwanted touching is a hostile act, and indicative of a disrespect of women. Exposure of the privates even more so. It's predatory, no doubt.<BR/>I had too many men in my life do this to me starting around puberty through adulthood. The abuse took many different forms. OP didn't say whether the 8 and 12 year olds were boys or girls. If girls, they could be coming into the age where Mr. X will no longer think of them as children but as targets. <BR/>I think the OP should warn the au pair and let her know she is not alone. It's going to happen. Also, she should tell the former employer. She should know who is lurking about her kids and employees. Silence only gives these creeps the freedom to continue. Besides, Mr X could force the au pair to leave by making her uncomfortable or fearful, and the employer would never know why. <BR/>Please tell them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-32328771273164078802007-03-11T23:50:00.000-04:002007-03-11T23:50:00.000-04:00About this semi-famous flasher, was it a worthwhil...About this semi-famous flasher, was it a worthwhile expose'? Also, the Scandinavians are quite free and unreserved when it comes to sex, but that's not the point is it? There's a pervert living next door and who knows, as the children get older, he could be a danger to them. I'd tell the female employer and let her decide how to deal with it. But tell someone. These guy don't stop and always get worse.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-8707166554560843942007-03-11T22:50:00.001-04:002007-03-11T22:50:00.001-04:00Where is Mr. X?He sounds hot.Where is Mr. X?<BR/>He sounds hot.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-89453166637517725752007-03-11T22:50:00.000-04:002007-03-11T22:50:00.000-04:00You sound like a trouble maker looking for justifi...You sound like a trouble maker looking for justification to bud in.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-89095177798817424782007-03-11T22:33:00.000-04:002007-03-11T22:33:00.000-04:00Rockin Bod Mom, Weren't you a regular on a certain...Rockin Bod Mom, <BR/>Weren't you a regular on a certain mommy board? Always talking about how you sat at the desk on your exerball, swam 2 hours a day and if you are the same, didn't you offer pictures of yourself in a bathing suit to serve as inspiration to a WW person who had 20 lbs to lose???????Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-86024881425489388132007-03-11T20:42:00.000-04:002007-03-11T20:42:00.000-04:00rockin bod mom? "hot" women know how to handle the...rockin bod mom? "hot" women know how to handle themselves?<BR/>oh my god, what has this world come to. your poor, poor kids...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-3442529206512793842007-03-11T20:13:00.001-04:002007-03-11T20:13:00.001-04:00I live in Harrison and I wouldn't want my children...I live in Harrison and I wouldn't want my children in that area of Port Chester. There is an enormous public housing complex directly across the street from that Plaza!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-38214299411225213082007-03-11T20:13:00.000-04:002007-03-11T20:13:00.000-04:00I live in Harrison and I wouldn't want my children...I live in Harrison and I wouldn't want my children in that area of Port Chester. There is an enormous public housing complex directly across the street from that Plaza!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com