tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post7052822251774946376..comments2024-03-19T03:27:24.068-04:00Comments on I SAW YOUR NANNY: Loehmans on Broadway in NYCLeigh Raymerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18210572527823459842noreply@blogger.comBlogger71125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-28354493611313242912009-05-19T12:54:00.000-04:002009-05-19T12:54:00.000-04:00Yeah, he got developmental issues as a result of b...Yeah, he got developmental issues as a result of being ignored all day long for his entire life by his "nanny."fox in socksnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-48758868061750496102009-05-18T17:53:00.000-04:002009-05-18T17:53:00.000-04:00If the kid is sipping Purell more than once, doesn...If the kid is sipping Purell more than once, doesnt anyone worry he might have some kind of deelopmental issues? Im not doctor but it just doesnt sound normal to me.Jack B. Nimblenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-66095689982710167222009-05-17T08:32:00.000-04:002009-05-17T08:32:00.000-04:00The photo was taken after the incident, when they ...The photo was taken after the incident, when they had moved on to the cash register. My first priority was getting the TOT to stop sipping Purell. This is about a nanny who parked the buggy and child out of her sight and went shopping around for herself (I presume, since she was eying adult sized dresses, not kids clothes) Ever been to a Loehman's? Large areas with racks, not many aisles.<br />The nanny friend did the same thing, so there were actually two tots more or less parked in the aisle while nannies were roaming the clothing racks.<br /><br />Bad are: time that TOT (or nanny) was out of sight, TOT's acces to the Purell (not a toy).<br /><br />I hope the parents stumble upon this site and check for sightings in their neighborhood or that someone warns them.<br /><br />Everyone with a job needs time to shop and relax and do whatever, it is nice that nannies have the kind of job that will allow them some time to run certain errands for themselves, they should just know what the limits are to that.<br />And really: it is NO FUN to be shopping for clothes with young children in tow.Mascha Koopmanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17099346481673622754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-51613471266494953252009-05-15T23:07:00.000-04:002009-05-15T23:07:00.000-04:00ChiNanny-
you make a great point. Most errands ca...ChiNanny-<br /><br />you make a great point. Most errands can be educational, so I may have spoken too broadly when I said "nannies shopping." However, if I saw you in the grocery store with your charges, I probably wouldn't think "nanny shopping" I would think, "enrichment activity" for the kids, because you are using it as a learning experience more than for your personal time. Keep up the good work :)cash or creditnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-40884910687189972772009-05-15T12:55:00.000-04:002009-05-15T12:55:00.000-04:00cashorcredit-
I agree in most circumstances, howe...cashorcredit-<br /><br />I agree in most circumstances, however in my situation, the parents have asked and appreciate me taking the kids on personal errands so that they get the experience. They do the grocery shopping on the way home from work, so the kids never see a grocery store, therefore I take them and do my personal shopping with them and they're learning about "shopping". That you pay for your food, how it works, etc.<br /><br />I do this with other errands too, but all in all our shopping trips are once a week max and I use them as educational experiences, not times to ignore the children. Plus, you have to have parent approval, I couldn't imagine taking my charges somewhere without it.ChiNannynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-21265873447534763542009-05-15T00:25:00.000-04:002009-05-15T00:25:00.000-04:00In the picture I don't really see a grave risk of ...In the picture I don't really see a grave risk of kidnapping, although the OP may have said that the nanny walked away from the stroller. However, it really just bothers me to see nannies shopping when the child is awake. I could understand running a brief, essential errand (like the bank of PO) but nobody else goes shopping when they're on the clock. They are being paid to enhance the child's development, not their own wardrobe.cash or creditnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-76035455825039835842009-05-15T00:10:00.000-04:002009-05-15T00:10:00.000-04:00CollegeNanny: My kids are just advanced. They got ...CollegeNanny: My kids are just advanced. They got it at 6. Ha ha. I'm totally kidding.<br /><br />Mom: I saw the tongue/butt comment on the other thread. What the hell was that about?<br /> <br />MM: That was a nice post. Thanks. Of course I felt defensive that free range was being equated with neglect! I'm very overprotective when my kiddos are young too. My youngest is just four and I would never leave him unsupervised. He's got no impulse control! I live in a suburb of Seattle, nine miles north of downtown.WTF?noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-16742399136305181352009-05-14T22:28:00.000-04:002009-05-14T22:28:00.000-04:00ps WTF:
Theoretically, children are still in the ...ps WTF:<br /><br />Theoretically, children are still in the preoperational stage of development until they are 7, and though the importance of one's peers is rapidly growing, the rigid respect of authority that children have remains well into the concrete operational stage. (aka NOT Kindergarten)<br /><br /><br />In the primary years development theorists like to say that children are in the "I-can-do-it-myself" stage, however, the importance of parents in a child's mind is still huge, and they need to be good role models in terms of attitudes and behaviors, because children DO care what they think and do. <br /><br />Anyway, that being said... obviously as children grow and age you give them more breathing room. If it is legitimately safe to let your children ride their bikes to a couple miles away...you can make that call, you are the parent. However, not letting a child do that isn't going to hurt them either. In adolescence a child will really rebel against the parents wishes, especially if they don't feel like they have enough freedom or that their parents dont understand them. But, in elementary school and below... well those children are still in the heteronomous morality stage, and that means what the parents say is law, and they aren't going to be damaged by being watched over.<br /><br />Err that didn't make much sense I don't think... but I hope I at least made my point, haha.CollegeNannynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-68306180758773624052009-05-14T19:05:00.000-04:002009-05-14T19:05:00.000-04:00OOPs, I meant MM good one.
Although I did like ...OOPs, I meant MM good one. <br /><br />Although I did like WTFs last post too. (And I'm sure she's quite curious about the tongue comment...sorry!)momnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-23920726306588182782009-05-14T19:03:00.000-04:002009-05-14T19:03:00.000-04:00WTF,
Another good one. (No tongue involved...heheh...WTF,<br />Another good one. (No tongue involved...hehehehe)<br /><br />OK so here's another mom story...but about myself, not my kids.<br />When I was a kid and a young teen I had a lot of freedom, as kids generally did in those days. When other kids smoked, I thought to myself, "I don't even want to think about what my parents will think or do if I get caught doing this, so no thanks." Same with pot smoking, sex, you name it. Not that they would have beaten me...although I suspect the punishment would have been something I would have LONG remembered. Another large part of what kept me from doing stuff was knowing my parents value system, the one I had witnessed them live by for my whole life, knowing they thought better of me than to do certain things, and not wanting to ever see the look on their faces, or experience their disappointment at knowing I had done something awful. And I knew they would probably catch me at anything I did because they were involved in my life. Those fears kept me safe and sane while my peers went off the deep end. <br /><br />Later, they got a divorce just as I was old enough to learn to drive. Their attention was diverted, they were less involved in us kids' lives and didn't ask too many questions...choosing instead to trust that we were pretty grounded kids (based on our previous longstanding record of stellar behavior and good grades) and could mostly take care of ourselves. With that microscope off and nobody minding the store, I suddenly lost all fear of getting caught at anything and did pretty much anything I wanted to...not all of it good. When a decision to do or not do something that I wanted to do, but knew was wrong,came up I would often think to myself, "I won't get into trouble, so why not?" Thank God I was old enough to have at least some reason, old enough to have some sense of long term consequences beyond lack of parental punishment, old enough to let my parent's life of teaching guide me to a certain extent and old enough to have gained a degree of self respect that kept me from doing a lot of worse things that I saw others doing. <br />So yeah, I do believe that at certain times in a kid's life, whatever it takes...even fear of punishment...is what it takes to protect them from life and themselves.momnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-70465835035767039632009-05-14T18:01:00.000-04:002009-05-14T18:01:00.000-04:00Great post, Mom.
WTF: it seems that you feel the ...Great post, Mom.<br /><br />WTF: it seems that you feel the need to explain yourself and defend your children and do not like to be judged because of your philosophy or way of thinking. Why not take your own advice and not judge others for theirs? <br /><br />I don't necessarily feel the need to list my child's activities or my involvement in the things I do with her in my posts. Let's just agree to disagree and respect each other's line of thinking without implying that they are stupid and do not have common sense. <br /><br />You obviously care for your children a great deal and I completely respect SAHMs more than you realize. I myself am a work from home mom, and have been since she was born because I did want to be involved with her. <br /><br />As far as the fear of "getting in trouble", well I disagree. A child needs to know what their parents approve of and do not approve of. Yes, they need to make mistakes. Lord knows I have made so many growing up and I expect my daughter to make mistakes as well. That is just human nature. But I do want her to think twice before she does something, and think, "What would my mom or dad think of this?" I think that "fear" goes a long way. It is a healthy fear, if you ask me. I would not love my child any less for her mistakes. And you're right: she is small, and people grow, as will I as she gets older. However, I will say that my value system is strong, and she has two parents who love her. I hope she grows to be smart, confident, and discerning when it comes to peer pressure.<br /><br />Let's all send good karma to each other, and respect each others' descisions on how to parent. I may have been a little too harsh at first in my responses to you and I do apologize for that. As I said, I completely respect stay at home moms fiercely. I wish to God I did not have to work and could devote every second to my child, but I am, (and I know you will be pleased to hear it) excited that she is pre-school age and will now soon be exposed to other people and be able to be "away from mommy" to explore under other people's rules and out from "behind my skirt" so to speak. <br /><br />To be honest, WTF, I am overprotective. I admit it. It's been hard for me, being a single mom. My child did not walk until she was almost 15 months because I never put the kid down! lol people would say "let me take the baby" and I would say NO! lol<br /><br />I think we can all learn from each other. But at the end of the day we are all our own people and have to be ourselves.<br /><br />Peace, and I really am sorry if I ever jumped down your throat. I tend to post before I speak at times.MinuteMugglehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18219835884927406283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-84432813386952659562009-05-14T17:37:00.000-04:002009-05-14T17:37:00.000-04:00Not getting into the current argument...and BTW WT...Not getting into the current argument...and BTW WTF, it sounds like you do a lot of nice things for your kids and spend a good deal of time parenting. I am guessing you live in a more rural area and that you and MM are probably talking apples and oranges about the bike riding. We could never do that here either...but there are still places where it's OK for older kids. <br /><br />However, I disagree about kids not needing a close eye and parental supervision as teens. Sure, you can take your eyes off without fear of them drinking Purell or being snatched from a stroller, but you better darn well know where they are and who they are with at all times. While it is nice to think that kids learn good manners and to follow the rules from all of the effort we put in as parents...everybody knows that teenagers are probably the least likely group of people on the planet to show great impulse control in the face of great, unsupervised, temptation. I would trust your nine year old more than I would a teenager to "do the right" thing when faced with an awkward situation or temptation to do the wrong thing amongst a group of his peers. There's a period of time when our children like to please us and follow the rules and get a great feeling from doing the right thing. This time almost never coincides with adolescence...when the going theme is "rebel." <br />The good news is that those obedient, rule following kids we once knew and loved tend to return to us before it's time to send them off to college...where they absolutely need to have the life skills to survive on their own and make rational decisions without us by their sides protecting them.momnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-63419270358752052262009-05-14T16:17:00.000-04:002009-05-14T16:17:00.000-04:00If your child is a teen and the extent of their mo...If your child is a teen and the extent of their moral development is "I'd better not do that because Mommy might check and then I'll be in trouble" then, IMO, you've failed miserably as a parent, as children should be past that stage by about the time they exit kindergarten. <br /><br />Also, I'm not sure why you're relating allowing appropriate personal freedom to some sort of neglect and lack of involvement. I'm a SAHM. Two of my three children go to co-op schools which require heavy parental involvment. My other child goes to a regular public school where I volunteer in the classroom and have a regular assignemtn helping his teacher grade papers. We often participate in community events as a family. My kids are involved in year round swim team and dance programs. All three kids are happy and healthy and getting good grades. If you think they're going to become sexually active potheads because they get to ride their bikes to the public library, then I guess your common sense isn't quite what you trumpet it to be, now is it? ::eye roll::WTF?noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-27287248941576613592009-05-14T07:11:00.000-04:002009-05-14T07:11:00.000-04:00WTF:
I understand what guiding children to indepe...WTF:<br /><br />I understand what guiding children to indepedence means: I totally believe in it. I still would not let my elementary schooler walk to school by themselves and I certainly have common sense. Perhaps in smaller, less urban communities it would be a different story. But around here, nobody does that, and there is good reason for it. <br /><br />It is good to trust your child and to let them know you trust them. But in my opinion, it is not good to go through life with blinders on. You need to keep your eyes open with kids, pre-teens and teens. If you let them know that you will never be around and never be checking up on them, they don't feel safe: and they start doing things that most parents would not approve of. But maybe you will encourage yours, as they grow older, to have sex, smoke pot, etc. etc. etc. Because that is what kids do when they see their parents as "cool" and more importantly, if they think they can get away with it. <br /><br />You are not their friend, you are their parent and they need to know that you are involved in their lives, and that while you do trust them, you are still their main protector. <br /><br />As I said, good luck with your philosophy. I hope it works for you and your family.MinuteMugglehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18219835884927406283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-71199903611130946062009-05-13T22:49:00.000-04:002009-05-13T22:49:00.000-04:00It's probably not so much an obsession as it is a ...It's probably not so much an obsession as it is a continuing series of shocks every time we see that there is yet another person out there who still doesn't seem to get that its NOT OK to do things like park an infant in a stroller and go about your shopping as if he isn't there...even if they are in the "general vicinity."<br />As my grandpa would say, "They have rocks in their heads."momnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-49088392398750792822009-05-13T20:07:00.000-04:002009-05-13T20:07:00.000-04:00CollegeNanny
I completely agree, however I tried ...CollegeNanny<br /><br />I completely agree, however I tried to make that point in a thread earlier and was accused of being a lazy park bench nanny whose charges were going to be kidnapped. <br /><br />As a nanny it's my job to supervise and keep the kids safe and in my view at all times in public. However, I don't think I need to be on top of them. <br /><br />However, I think Ohwhynot was making the point that every post people start talking about how easy it would be to abduct a child, instead of the more likely and probable dangers, like drinking purell. It seems to be an obsession of some posters.ChiNannynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-81167553145188125642009-05-13T19:18:00.001-04:002009-05-13T19:18:00.001-04:00***common, even. bah.***common, even. bah.WTF?noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-75922419153732133162009-05-13T19:18:00.000-04:002009-05-13T19:18:00.000-04:00Uh huh. So that's how it's going to be. Fine by me...Uh huh. So that's how it's going to be. Fine by me.<br /><br />Try not to common sense youself in to a child who is afraid of her own shadow and afraid of the boogey man by junior high. That's what happens when kids are smothered "for their own safety." I see it all the time. The point of parenting isn't JUST to keep them safe. It's also to guide them in to independent adulthood, step by step. That, my friend, is comon sense.WTF?noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-46449650684125377962009-05-13T19:09:00.000-04:002009-05-13T19:09:00.000-04:00WTF:
I hope that "free range" philosophy works fo...WTF:<br /><br />I hope that "free range" philosophy works for you. Good luck with that. And some opinions don't change as your kids get older: common sense is not an opinion, it's just something some of us have and some do not.<br /><br />And are you referring to MaryPoppinPills? I don't think Jane would be too happy to hear she is tied up in your basement. She is female, by the way.MinuteMugglehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18219835884927406283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-53963900763009631752009-05-13T19:05:00.000-04:002009-05-13T19:05:00.000-04:00MM, Eh. Opinions grow and change as your child mat...MM, Eh. Opinions grow and change as your child matures.<br /><br />BTW, MP says *hi* ~ he's tied up in my basement, but I took out the ball gag long enough for him to say, "Help! He..! er, Hi."WTF?noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-63704567739141587272009-05-13T18:55:00.000-04:002009-05-13T18:55:00.000-04:00LOL @ "hot." You're such a snot lately, mom. I thi...LOL @ "hot." You're such a snot lately, mom. I think it's pretty obvious that young children require supervision. It's the older ones you let out of your sight.<br /><br />I understand that nannies need to be super careful. I just don't necessarily argee that that's the best thing for the KIDS as I'm much more of the free range philosophy myself.WTF?noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-16152753357396953582009-05-13T18:53:00.000-04:002009-05-13T18:53:00.000-04:00WTF:
Just because my child is not of school age, ...WTF:<br /><br />Just because my child is not of school age, you can bet that I would certainly not let my fourth grader walk to school alone. It is not the way things are done around here, and it will not be the way things are done in my home when my child reaches school age. <br /><br />I am entitled to my opinion. To say I have no clue is just plain rude. I have an extremely good handle on the maturity level of children of all ages as I work with pre-teens and teens. You do not have to have a child of school age to have good common sense.MinuteMugglehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18219835884927406283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-58453924450341188262009-05-13T17:48:00.000-04:002009-05-13T17:48:00.000-04:00How did we get exclusively onto the topic of eight...How did we get exclusively onto the topic of eight or nine year olds? The boy in this photo hardly look eight or nine.<br />Obviously people need to use common sense and apply it to specific children, specific ages, locations, etc., etc. There is no one formula that works for every child or every situation. A good nanny ought to realize that basic fact at the very outset. <br />And I believe I said you can keep an eye on an older child without helicoptering them. <br />And WTF, what about this thread has you so hot? This is common logic.momnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-20631199508433760942009-05-13T15:13:00.000-04:002009-05-13T15:13:00.000-04:00MM, when your child hits 9 and then 12 you can can...MM, when your child hits 9 and then 12 you can can comment all you want on the typical level of maturity those kids have. Your child is still a babe, so you really have no clue. You really think a fourth grader can't walk to school? WTF, indeed. That's just nuts.WTF?noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-71115275376636055392009-05-13T15:08:00.000-04:002009-05-13T15:08:00.000-04:00WTF, if you choose to allow YOUR OWN KIDS to walk ...WTF, if you choose to allow YOUR OWN KIDS to walk alone to school, rides bikes for several miles, etc., that's fine. You don't mention where you live, so maybe you are not in an area where heavy traffic and the occasional predators co-exist in a murky stew of less-than-safe condidtions?<br /><br />But unless your EMPLOYERS give you very specific instructions that you are to allow THEIR children to walk/bike alone to various locations, you'd be nuts to allow that sort of freedom. <br /><br />Why? Because when the worst happens, you will be the screw-up loser nanny on the news and you will be 100% blamed for whatever happens. The parents will be getting sympathy, because they had the bad luck to hire a stupid and careless nanny. <br /><br />My older charge's parents allow her to play outside unsupervised. I do not. I am always 110% aware of the fact that the kids I care for are someone ELSE'S children, and I do everything I can to keep them safe. If the parents make different decisions, that's on them. I refuse to take the chance of having to live with the guilt of a child under my care being hurt or worse because I wasn't careful with their lives.chicknoreply@blogger.com