tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post5469473839693241051..comments2024-03-19T03:27:24.068-04:00Comments on I SAW YOUR NANNY: The Newlyweds and the Tank of GasLeigh Raymerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18210572527823459842noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-41734275788749719882008-07-16T12:36:00.000-04:002008-07-16T12:36:00.000-04:00by "ply" I actually meant "ploy"it's a PLOY to mak...by "ply" I actually meant "ploy"<BR/><BR/>it's a PLOY to make you quitAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-31372613906121051872008-07-16T12:27:00.000-04:002008-07-16T12:27:00.000-04:00It sounds like your hubby has a problem with the f...It sounds like your hubby has a problem with the fact that he doesn't out-earn you. It's a very outdated and sexist mentality that he needs to work on. There are millions of couples in this country in which women make as much as or more than their husbands/boyfriends. He's only saying you could make more elsewhere as a ply to get you to quit. If you actually did make more money he'd probably have an even worse tantrum than he is having about making the same amount. The problem isn't you or your employer, it's your husband and his insecurities. He needs to work those out for himself. You can offer help or support, sure, but it sounds like he needs a reality check about outdated gender roles.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-46530142164599924172008-07-12T12:49:00.000-04:002008-07-12T12:49:00.000-04:003:11Your comment was extremely obnoxious, and I ha...3:11<BR/>Your comment was extremely obnoxious, and I hate to say it, but you're right! lolAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-90302876994890895532008-07-12T03:11:00.000-04:002008-07-12T03:11:00.000-04:00OP, i understand that your husband's pride was hur...OP, <BR/><BR/>i understand that your husband's pride was hurt by the gas offer. he is comparing himself to your man boss, and all his financial security and ability to "take care" of you. <BR/><BR/>men get really insecure when they feel they are unable to provide for their wives/families. this has much more to do with his own insecurities than your particular employer. <BR/><BR/>as long as your hubby is feeling low about money, or feeling small compared to wealthy people like your boss, it doesn't matter who your boss is. switching jobs won't help because the insecurity is still there.<BR/><BR/>as someone who is young, poor and married i would try extra hard to communicate to my husband the following: 1) that i am proud of him for his hard work 2) that i am happy with what he provides me with financially and 3) that i desire and need him to take care of me, and that he is the only one that can do it.<BR/><BR/>this is really a relationship issue because your bosses didn't do anything wrong. your husband knows that.<BR/><BR/>if all else fails, just give him oral - that always makes a guy feel big!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-41604404902175279052008-07-11T11:58:00.000-04:002008-07-11T11:58:00.000-04:00My husband gets like that all the time. but offer ...My husband gets like that all the time. but offer him "free" he will not turn it down. Shoot free gas I would be following your employer aroundAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-81794047902504252732008-07-09T22:41:00.000-04:002008-07-09T22:41:00.000-04:00they can fill up my tank !!!!they can fill up my tank !!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-20940479409607107162008-07-08T10:56:00.000-04:002008-07-08T10:56:00.000-04:00I meant the emploer needs to give you a tank of ga...I meant the emploer needs to give you a tank of gas now and then and stay away from your hubby..sorryAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-26349573632142207552008-07-08T10:51:00.000-04:002008-07-08T10:51:00.000-04:00The problem is not your job it is with your husban...The problem is not your job it is with your husband. FOr him to make a remark like that to you shows how immature he is and what low self esteem he has and that is what you need to work on.<BR/>He has a jealous streak in him.<BR/>You stay in that marriage and you will be hearing those kind of remarks with every job you have.<BR/>To tell you the truth your employer was out of line insisting that he fill up your hubys gs tank. It would be ok for him to buy your gas but he really has no relationship your your hubby and it was like saying "here, I make sooo much more than you do let me pay for your gas" so I can see where it may have po'd the hubby.<BR/>BUT the hubby went way to far saying what he did to you. The hubby needs to just give you are tank now and then and stay away from the hubby.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-79482392866183368312008-07-08T09:28:00.000-04:002008-07-08T09:28:00.000-04:00Can't hubby just think of it as a work bonus? I m...Can't hubby just think of it as a work bonus? I mean, if your bosses had given you a $50 cash bonus that week-he wouldn't have been upset, right? So, a tank of gas is the same thing.<BR/><BR/>He needs to get his male ego in check and realize that not everything is about him.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-10880670806489825002008-07-08T05:31:00.000-04:002008-07-08T05:31:00.000-04:0012:18I wasn't talking to 10:47. I addressed 10:27 ...12:18<BR/>I wasn't talking to 10:47. I addressed 10:27 at the top of my post because that poster DID suggest the boss apologize ....<BR/><BR/><BR/>"Maybe your employer could offer a humble apology to your dh (unless this would just fan the flames)??" <BR/>10:27<BR/><BR/><BR/>But thanks just the same .....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-81518724795738328992008-07-08T01:44:00.000-04:002008-07-08T01:44:00.000-04:00sounds like a personal problemsounds like a personal problemAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-90773497907758734022008-07-08T00:18:00.000-04:002008-07-08T00:18:00.000-04:00Mom and 11 37 notice that 10 47 never actually sai...Mom and 11 37 notice that 10 47 never actually said that the boss should apologize..........only explain the situation.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-14508421762415820482008-07-07T23:37:00.000-04:002008-07-07T23:37:00.000-04:0010:27I'm sorry, but I disagree that her employer s...10:27<BR/>I'm sorry, but I disagree that her employer should apologize for doing something nice just because hubby is insecure.<BR/>No way! This is his problem, and wifey needs to help him deal with it. I think it would be ungrateful and obnoxious for the nanny to ask her boss to say he was sorry and it would probably make it the last gesture of kindness he ever does for the nannies family.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-89834747746756169602008-07-07T23:33:00.000-04:002008-07-07T23:33:00.000-04:00Your husband sounds insecure because you make the ...Your husband sounds insecure because you make the same amount of money as he does. Don't quit your job and don't mention any of this to your boss (other than saying thanks).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-66311260672748285192008-07-07T23:24:00.000-04:002008-07-07T23:24:00.000-04:00Oh, if only someone would offer me a tank of gas!!...Oh, if only someone would offer me a tank of gas!! I see, though, that you have a bit of a problem here with your husband and his male pride and perhaps even more of a problem with his jealousy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-2963783095650776772008-07-07T23:18:00.000-04:002008-07-07T23:18:00.000-04:00i think you guys need to go to couples counseling ...i think you guys need to go to couples counseling if you want to make it even a year. big trouble ahead...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-26358871606745158242008-07-07T23:15:00.000-04:002008-07-07T23:15:00.000-04:00I would NOT speak to your boss about this! He did ...I would NOT speak to your boss about this! He did something which he imagines was appreciated by both of you. Asking him to APOLIGIZE might really make him think differently of both of you.<BR/><BR/>Realize it was meant to be kind and be appreciative that soembody thought to do something nice that they thought might help out a couple of newlyweds.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-58775114367422322392008-07-07T22:47:00.000-04:002008-07-07T22:47:00.000-04:00Your husband's behavior is what is bizarre. It see...Your husband's behavior is what is bizarre. It seems like with the amount of time that you have been at this job, he would know what a kind, generous person your boss seems to be (presuming you dated him for a while before marrying him). But this does sound like a complicated situation. My advice is stick to your guns. I would suggest talking to your boss about this and having him give your hubby a call saying that he meant nothing bad or disrespectful by paying for the gas. I would ask the boss to do that so that your husband knows it is in fact coming from him and not you. Good luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-90970656051700831462008-07-07T22:27:00.000-04:002008-07-07T22:27:00.000-04:00I can totally see where you are coming from BUT as...I can totally see where you are coming from BUT as nice as your dad employer is, that was completely insensitive of him to pay for your dh's gas. Of course it makes for an awkward situation and I can see why your dh would be offended. I'd consider trying to do damage control at this point...maybe speak to your employer so something like this doesn't happen again? Maybe your employer could offer a humble apology to your dh (unless this would just fan the flames)?? I completely understand that your employer just wanted to be nice/friendly but this sort of thing borders on stepping over the lineAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-72912459596287557222008-07-07T22:00:00.000-04:002008-07-07T22:00:00.000-04:00Male pride...newly married male pride...be glad yo...Male pride...newly married male pride...be glad your husband felt so strongly about an inapprpriate (however well-intentioned) gesture on your employer's part. From your husband's point of view, your boss basically pissed on your husband's firehydrant. Yes, your hubby over-reacted, but look at this whole thing from HIS male/new husband/trying to be the hero in YOUR life perspective. Your boss probably meant well, but it was the wrong thing to do (give YOU extra cash for a tank of gas...sure!...but not your husband.) Agree with your husband that it was wrong for your boss to do this, that you understand why he's offended. You won't be working for this family forever but, hopefully, you WILL be with your husband for life. Your employer's wealth and generosity are triggering your husband's insecurity, that's all. I would not classify him as abusive, just a bit insecure. Help him with this!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-5544672757156669212008-07-07T21:54:00.000-04:002008-07-07T21:54:00.000-04:00I know the answer to this one- get a new husband! ...I know the answer to this one- get a new husband! He's an absolute child and to even imply you are having an affair is idiotic!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-7938981107392011302008-07-07T21:43:00.000-04:002008-07-07T21:43:00.000-04:00This sounds like it is about much more than a tank...This sounds like it is about much more than a tank of gas. Is there any way for you and your husband to sit down with a therapist or clergyman and talk this out? From the outside, your husband seems to be very insecure about himself and your relationship. He really sounds out of line to me, but are you innocently saying things about the family that he thinks are "digs" at him? I think this is a situation that will get much worse unless you fully address it. <BR/><BR/>I'm a nanny, and I know how involved I get the kid's world. I know my involvement in their lives can seem weird to someone who doesnt' do childcare, so I can see his point to an extent. But it seems the issue is with only THIS family .Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-53091563348447047532008-07-07T21:31:00.000-04:002008-07-07T21:31:00.000-04:00VThis is PERSPECTIVE and OPINION.Nobody said it wa...V<BR/>This is PERSPECTIVE and OPINION.<BR/>Nobody said it was a nanny sighting.<BR/>And yes, this blog helps all people with questions pertaining to nannies, employers and children.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-12320547528309532712008-07-07T20:57:00.000-04:002008-07-07T20:57:00.000-04:00V-way to speak up and remove all doubt. You are mo...V-<BR/>way to speak up and remove all doubt. You are most definitely un idioto!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-80555009499917075182008-07-07T20:55:00.000-04:002008-07-07T20:55:00.000-04:00And this is a nanny sighting how?V.And this is a nanny sighting how?<BR/><BR/>V.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com