tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post4862710280198809241..comments2024-03-19T03:27:24.068-04:00Comments on I SAW YOUR NANNY: A Spoon-Fed, Bottle-Drinking 6-Year-Old?Leigh Raymerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18210572527823459842noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-77620561442086027902009-07-17T10:47:04.972-04:002009-07-17T10:47:04.972-04:00Just cuz is probably just a troll. Please just com...Just cuz is probably just a troll. Please just completely ignore stupid comments, otherwise they get excited and continue posting.momnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-6715709448090984362009-07-16T20:10:29.726-04:002009-07-16T20:10:29.726-04:00To just cuz -- what the ?!?!?!?To just cuz -- what the ?!?!?!?fox in socksnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-6662305013164391342009-07-16T19:10:59.616-04:002009-07-16T19:10:59.616-04:00Thanks for all the feedback guys!!! I'm still ...Thanks for all the feedback guys!!! I'm still lookin for a job, but after reading all of ur comments I definitely feel that I'm better off without a job and my sanity intact, then slowly losing my mind.<br /><br />Just to respond to some of the comments, the mom was very intent on aing sure her child kept up with learning and education even though it was summertime which I definitely agreed with up, but I also thought that 3-5 pages of math, each 20 questions each was a bit much. Yes, i definitely agree that there was way too much communication btw the mother and I, and I would always try to get her off the phone but she just kept talking...I felt as if she was using me...like, if she didn't have any one else to talk to. I never really saw her have an amicable conversation with her husband and they were constantly bickering.<br /><br />and for "Just Cuz" I take offense to your comment...I am hispanic...and the mother and her family are not, so please do not stereotype, it doesn't help.OPnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-83740281758981529532009-07-16T16:28:22.244-04:002009-07-16T16:28:22.244-04:00This is how hispanic mothers usualy are. It's ...This is how hispanic mothers usualy are. It's not your fault. It's hers and thats the way they will raise their kids.justcuznoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-10502315757837927852009-07-16T10:05:54.911-04:002009-07-16T10:05:54.911-04:00Think of it this way: The money you would be maki...Think of it this way: The money you would be making during this month would have been spent on therapy after working for this lady. So I think you're coming out about even. ;DWicker Park Nannynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-44341870007318277262009-07-15T22:24:07.935-04:002009-07-15T22:24:07.935-04:00I'm so sorry.I'm so sorry.webayhttp://seo.webay.com.aunoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-19674276838569352362009-07-15T18:45:39.392-04:002009-07-15T18:45:39.392-04:00I did not read all the comments on this thread.
O...I did not read all the comments on this thread.<br /><br />OP, it sounds to me like the girl's strange eating preferences, which are obsessional, are an attempt to exert control over a situation that feels scary to her. The mother's lack of schedule/routine, and therefore unpredictable presence or absence in the girl's life is not healthy. This is leading the girl to try to attempt to control things that ordinary people don't feel the need to control, and be obsessional about, such as having many plates and a different spoon for each plate, only wanting to eat by the tv, etc.<br /><br />The mother sounds like a whack job. It sounds like you handled things really well when you wrote out everything and tried to give the girl control over her schedule, etc. <br /><br />I'm sorry it ended badly for you due to the nutty mother. Maybe she will shape up and realize what a benefit you were to the girl.fox in socksnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-54779363820297110732009-07-15T14:58:12.683-04:002009-07-15T14:58:12.683-04:00You know, this post really struck me. I've bee...You know, this post really struck me. I've been with a terrific family for 3 1/2 years now. The three children and parents are wonderful people, however...the five-year-old girl still wears a pull-up to bed every night, demands to be spoon-fed her breakfast in the morning by mommy or me, talks very little at school (she only communicates in nods/head-shakes for yes/no to her teachers). <br /><br />She is a really sweet little girl, and pretty well-behaved (aside from being a tad tempermental)...but the coddling bothers me. I think it feeds into the anxiety that makes her clam up verbally at school. Thoughts on how to get her/her parents past these things so she can shine like the big girl she really is?<br /><br />Mind you, when mommy isn't home in the morning for breakfast...she eats by herself. Just sayin'...Pull-Ups? Please!noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-19799627704714761542009-07-15T12:59:51.750-04:002009-07-15T12:59:51.750-04:00by just reading this and not knowing the child or ...by just reading this and not knowing the child or parent I really got the impression that there may be some underlying disorder, learning or otherwise. I know many people would think that a parent would tell the caregiver if their child did have a special need, but not always. I worked for a family for a year and a half and the mother never told me in as many words that their son was on the Autism spectrum. I pretty much figured it out on my own. About three months into it she did admit that he had some social problems.<br />Thats what it sounds like to me, and it sounded as if the mother is a single mother, which means that their bond is even stronger and that the daughter gets her way even more (not always the case, but sometimes). Try to at least have a good relationship with the little girl, as that will make any bad confrontations with the mother a bit easier(maybe, at least for me its the case) since you spend most of the day with the girl.<br />Stick it out until the end of the summer. Youre almost halfway through!nannyneedscoffeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08983175706084822008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-18964121285982738792009-07-15T12:58:43.955-04:002009-07-15T12:58:43.955-04:00Somebody mentioned Nanny 911- Did anyone see that ...Somebody mentioned Nanny 911- Did anyone see that episode of Super Nanny where the 4-year-old twins were given bottles and wore diapers at bedtime? When they got rid of the baby stuff, the children transformed, suddenly acting like their age instead of like toddlers. It was really amazing. Maybe for this child, it is incompatible to expect her to sit down and do 3 pages of homework each day when she is being treated the rest of the time as a baby.reality tvnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-52462604267686121392009-07-15T11:45:22.001-04:002009-07-15T11:45:22.001-04:00The last couple of post remind me of a family I kn...The last couple of post remind me of a family I knew many years back. They were good parents. Two of the children were wonderful and very well behaved, but the middle boy (we knew him from about ages 3-6 before they moved)had some serious problems. (He had not been diagnosed with anything at the time, but I'll bet he has by now. The mom once asked us other playgroup moms if it was normal that her 3 year old walked around with a boner literally almost 24/7...which clued me in really fast that there was a serious issue.)<br /><br />The parents' only recourse in public was to give him whatever he wanted, because if they didn't he pitched such a horrific fit (many levels above any normal temper tantrum I've ever seen), which may literally carry on for hours...screaming, writhing, flailing, etc...like an alien in a horror movie. If they didn't give in, the other children would have been forced to leave practically every park or pool visit, and every special event within a very short time after arriving.<br /><br />I felt really sorry for them. They coddled him, but there really didn't seem to be a way out. It was like everybody was on pins and needles around him at all times, and you never knew what would set him off. Thinking back now, he should have been in serious psychiatric care...which, in hindsight, is the parent's fault.momnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-51581835436587088422009-07-15T10:13:57.324-04:002009-07-15T10:13:57.324-04:00This is insane, and you are lucky to escape. Howev...This is insane, and you are lucky to escape. However, I totally understand your anxiety about not having a job or income for the next month. That's really unfortunate, and I'm really sorry you wound up in this position through what sounds like no fault of your own. (I know how nice and wonderful a family can seem in an interview.)<br /><br />I think you should focus on finding as much babysitting as you can for the next month. Maybe you can find a family to take you on vacation as someone suggested, or maybe you can fill-in for a family whose nanny is going on vacation. Even if you just got 2-3 evening sitting jobs per week, that should add up to 15 hours a week. Sign up for all the online sitter services, put an ad on craigslist, and NETWORK with former clients, family friends, etc.<br /><br />Good luck!ATL Nannynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-80425078319354311252009-07-15T09:26:18.741-04:002009-07-15T09:26:18.741-04:00It sounds like this child has anxiety--and complyi...It sounds like this child has anxiety--and complying with her requests, ie. to have a bottle, to have different plates, etc. only makes the anxiety works. My son has anxiety, too. And we've been advised by psychologists to not comply with these types of requests because it escalates things. By insisting our child does things in an age-appropriate way, we've actually reduced his anxiety--and improved his comfort and happiness--dramatically!!!! So, any of you nannies/parents with children like this--don't give into excessive demands. It may seem kind on the surface; but in reality it's unkind and even a bit harmful to the child's development.Momkatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-75642812687597823412009-07-15T07:40:00.646-04:002009-07-15T07:40:00.646-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-50628240145842935802009-07-15T07:17:01.323-04:002009-07-15T07:17:01.323-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-11617899456442599652009-07-15T04:52:07.839-04:002009-07-15T04:52:07.839-04:00This family would be great for an episode for Nann...This family would be great for an episode for Nanny 911. I would love to see the mother and Nanny. What a crazy mother and that poor child.Nanny Sarahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-91815109040570995302009-07-15T02:52:24.463-04:002009-07-15T02:52:24.463-04:00There is no need for sitting and talking to the Mo...There is no need for sitting and talking to the Mom for 30 minutes after every shift (ESPECIALLY during your free time) to tell her what happened during the day.<br /><br />Instead, spend 2-3 minutes updating her. Or write her a daily note of anything she should be aware of, or any questions you have.<br /><br />Too much info can be bad - the more detail the Mom knows, the more she will nitpick anything and everything you do, even if it's working for you and the child.<br /><br />When you are there, you have to do things YOUR way, within reason. You are an adult. When a kid goes to school, you don't see the teacher asking the parents how she should teach their kids - she just teaches them how she sees fit, and how the school prefers it to be done. You also don't see the teacher having a daily 30 minute conversation - They get 2 or so parent teacher conferences a year.<br /><br />The Mom in this situation sounds like a wack job though.<br /><br />I just finished a job where feeding the 10 year old boy was a pain in the ass. He was so picky and required his own separate dinner every night. Different plates and different utensils for each item. His milk had to be a certain temp too, or it was trash. He would LOVE a dish one night, and then the next night he'd say the same exact dish was disgusting and would throw it in the trash and demand something new.<br /><br />His Mom approved of it too, so it made my life very difficult.my namenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-77434812040926796202009-07-14T23:59:12.294-04:002009-07-14T23:59:12.294-04:00As everyone has said, this family is craaaaaaazy. ...As everyone has said, this family is craaaaaaazy. And I know some people will disagree with me, but I think in some instances there can be such a thing as too much communication between nanny and parent (i.e. in a situation like this where the parents are crazy). Kind of like, you need to find what works for you with the child when the mom is not around and then do that. Maybe it's a little bribery: "You can have a bottle after you do one page of math." Or maybe it's a consequence (like removing the toys), but you don't necessarily need to go into detail about it with the mom. <br />She probably hates that you are so thoughtful and deliberate in the way you try to interact with her child, when she herself obviously takes the easy way out (case in point: bottles and spoon-feeding). She just wants to see the outcomes (her child doing math and eating food), she doesn't really want to hear about how you get there.only maybenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-44458783777624912542009-07-14T22:24:52.689-04:002009-07-14T22:24:52.689-04:00kid will be in therapy very soon! I used to nanny ...kid will be in therapy very soon! I used to nanny and it boggled my mind how many kids are "emo"monkeyshinesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-71137330215948629902009-07-14T21:55:50.608-04:002009-07-14T21:55:50.608-04:00That family seems disturbed. I feel very badly for...That family seems disturbed. I feel very badly for that little girl. So strange, as soon as things started to work, you were out. On the other hand, it doesn't seem that you were what the mother was looking for. I think she needed someone more malleable. Unfortunately, you probably could have sraightened that child up right, if you'd been given the chance.Lolanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-40471968204622922292009-07-14T21:51:01.222-04:002009-07-14T21:51:01.222-04:00I don't know who these people's parents ar...I don't know who these people's parents are, but have you seen NY Prep? The most laughably repulsive crop of teenagers, ever. Just having this on television makes us look weak to our enemies. The ugly, fat blonde girl- she must have the most money. The bisexual douche bag (you're gay honey and the reason you put up with the fat ugly blonde chic is because you're gay and she's your hag). The whorish 15 year old who has been dating for a couple of years? Sebastian who's father takes him to dinner and salivates over the idea of him balling a 14 year old? All of these parents need to be hunted, gathered and buried alive-along with their sickening spawn.<br /><br />Repulsive.<br /><br />And if any of you nannies had any hand in raising these monsters, kill yourselves now!jebnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-61678048136193496412009-07-14T21:47:40.179-04:002009-07-14T21:47:40.179-04:00A mother of a kindergartener at my kids' eleme...A mother of a kindergartener at my kids' elementary school showed up at lunch time the first day and spoon fed her child his lunch. Who knows if she would have done it all year...the principal was so aghast that he told her that she was not welcome to come do that ever again.momnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-46063180679182753602009-07-14T20:58:58.533-04:002009-07-14T20:58:58.533-04:00I have a job similar to this (but I only have 3 da...I have a job similar to this (but I only have 3 days left of it!!). I have been there for a year now, and the kids totally rule the house, throw insane and violent tantrums, and don't take "no" for an answer, no matter how big or small their requests are. Like Nanny in FL said, the parents probably feel guilty for never being home, and now their kids are going to turn out to be awful human beings as a result of being so f-ing spoiled. However, I've never dealt with having to bottle feed/spoon feed a 6 year old- that is CRAZY. Honestly, be glad you got out of it when you did, and I wish you luck finding a job. <br /><br />On a separate note, I have a question of my own. This is my first nanny job, and as I said, I have been there for a year, which is the minimum time my employer and I agreed upon for me to work for them. I am moving out of the country soon, which is the (main) reason I'm leaving the position. I just bought the kids some pretty decent "goodbye presents", I work for much less money than I should, and I do ALOT of housework, etc. Also, I was supposed to have 2 wks paid vacation, which I got, but for Christmas I only asked off for a week, and got a call at the end of that week from my boss telling me I could go ahead and take the next week off as well. Therefore, the week that I didn't plan to take off became my 2nd week of paid vacation. *NOTE*- we do not have a contract, but these people are pretty trustworthy with this sort of stuff. <br /><br />FINALLY, my question is, should I be expecting a bonus of some sort? Is this customary at all? I feel like I have done a lot for this family. I know they can afford it, and I also know they won't be paying any nanny next week because they will be on vacation, therefore making them even more able to afford it even more. Am I just getting my hopes up? And am I right to feel like they owe me for my 2nd week of vacation, since I didn't have a choice about taking off that 2nd week off for Christmas?Lnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-20511787836756852062009-07-14T20:19:02.978-04:002009-07-14T20:19:02.978-04:00I recently ended a job where I had to go through a...I recently ended a job where I had to go through almost the same type of situation. The kid was such brat and he ruled the house it seemed, instead of the parents. To make matters worse, I worked alongside the mother and had to watch this kid get away w/murder...almost! Yep, the mom was pregnant w/twins and the kiddo punched her in the stomach when he go angry!!!! He only got a slight reprimand, like a 4 minute time-out I think. :(<br /><br />Anyway, you did the right thing and you were not over the line. I don't know why some parents w/nannies coddle their children. Be it the guilt that comes w/not being there for the child or what, but it is unacceptable. I am glad you stuck to your guns, sorry you do not have a job now, but am hopeful that you will soon.Nanny in Floridanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-51376961763792361332009-07-14T19:58:24.279-04:002009-07-14T19:58:24.279-04:00I go with what Village says.
I can't stand to...I go with what Village says.<br /><br />I can't stand to see bratty kids being coddled by their parents. It's a HUGE pet peeve of mine. (I have apparently gone on about it more than once, because my children also now share my disdain for such people. Oops.)momnoreply@blogger.com