tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post4854124878091158263..comments2024-03-19T03:27:24.068-04:00Comments on I SAW YOUR NANNY: Nanny Seeks Advice on Vacation Issue...Leigh Raymerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18210572527823459842noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-18210401041546965682008-02-24T00:53:00.000-05:002008-02-24T00:53:00.000-05:00OP again-the thing is, I know that even if I ask t...OP again-<BR/>the thing is, I know that even if I ask to have the study to myself "after hours" (which is 7:30 I think) it won't happen. I know that for a fact. They work hard, and they work late, and will be in and out. :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-70406272089994771432008-02-22T22:21:00.000-05:002008-02-22T22:21:00.000-05:00I think you should bring it up again and let them ...I think you should bring it up again and let them know you would like a space where you have privacy in your off hours. That could be the study, as long as the study is yours alone after your day is done and you have a place to store your personal possessions within the study.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-88729939076497488192008-02-22T20:58:00.000-05:002008-02-22T20:58:00.000-05:00OP once more!take note that this is really the fir...OP once more!<BR/><BR/>take note that this is really the first and only problem i've ever had with the family. otherwise things are great, and they do everything they can to accomodate me!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-33485995783529654422008-02-22T20:11:00.000-05:002008-02-22T20:11:00.000-05:00OP again! So I have a slight update on the situati...OP again! So I have a slight update on the situation.<BR/><BR/>Today the mom was talking about some renovations that they're doing, and just telling me in general about countertops and such (I'm interested in this stuff.) I happened to mention in passing about the rooming situation, and she said she has no idea what's going on until she figures out who will be there when. I joked about how it would be awkward for me to share a room with one of the relatives. Then the subject got brought up. Apparently the house keeper (who might or might not be bringing a small son- I'd have nothing to do with him btw) is coming, and offered to sleep ON A COT IN THE BASEMENT. Note that after hearing this, I feel like a total and complete idiot for wanting my own room, but I feel like I need to stand my ground. So I told her that I want my own room. In a certain amount of words, she said that probably won't happen. I will probably end up on a day bed in the study, but during the day both of my bosses would be coming in and out to use the computer. Meaning, I would have no room for personal space except to sleep. Or, I'll share a room with the housekeeper and her son. She asked if I could handle that, and I told her I wouldn't prefer it. She told me that I might not have much choice in preference. The conversation got uber awkward after that and we pretty much dropped the subject.<BR/><BR/>These 2 weeks are NOT optional. I have to come. I personally want to bring it up again and say something along the lines of, "I know we talked about arrangements at the summer house, but I feel like I didn't get a chance to really clarify what I need. Your job wouldn't expect you to spend 2 weeks with no privacy, and I don't feel like mine should either. I don't view this as a personal vacation, but I do think that I deserve the privacy that other people get."<BR/><BR/>Any comments?? Help!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-28888025897697155252008-02-14T11:11:00.000-05:002008-02-14T11:11:00.000-05:00Wow, and with no way to escape.(The Yacht, not the...Wow, and with no way to escape.<BR/>(The Yacht, not the kids)<BR/>I hope you made a bundle!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-20594006779108770672008-02-13T21:52:00.000-05:002008-02-13T21:52:00.000-05:00Dear OP,I went on a two week vacation with a very ...Dear OP,<BR/>I went on a two week vacation with a very well to do family (own yacht at anchor in the middle of the Bahamas) as their nanny. I made sure before I left that we outlined all the details. I had my own stateroom and I worked from 7am - 7pm After 7pm when those kids were seasick it was no longer my problem.<BR/>You MUST have your own room and your own bed. This is a liability, you never know what a child will say and how someone else can misinterpret it, this situation could get you in lots of trouble!<BR/>If the kids are so keen on sleeping with thier parents then maybe they can sleep with them for the two weeks you are there and then you will have your own bed!<BR/>Good luck! After my experience it would take a massive amount of money to convince me to do it again. Stuck on a yacht, at sea, with toddlers and uninvolved parents....horrible<BR/>BeckyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-69135652519612021802008-02-13T11:26:00.000-05:002008-02-13T11:26:00.000-05:00sorry, but if the parents told you that travelling...sorry, but if the parents told you that travelling with them is part of the job requirements, then you need to go or they will likely get a new nanny, this is one of their needs. plus, they pay you extra, no? its not supposed to be vacation time for you (and i'm assuming they give you vaca time), its supposed to work. in fact, its suppposed to be harder work than what you do on a daily basis, which is why they pay you more money. and i think its pretty standard for a nanny to share a room with the kids (although not bed) on these types of trips...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-82040954811568525502008-02-08T00:23:00.000-05:002008-02-08T00:23:00.000-05:00Hmm, sorry for typos!Hmm, sorry for typos!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-57732409170248797322008-02-08T00:20:00.000-05:002008-02-08T00:20:00.000-05:007:04, that's a very good point.A cousin of mine an...7:04, that's a very good point.<BR/><BR/>A cousin of mine and his wife are bothg in super hi-tech, hi powered jobs, making mega boatloads of money, and virtually NO time even spent in the US, at their legal residence, let alone with their 4 year old daughhter. They will be visiting my uncle (his dad) with their daughter and her nanny, and I have to wonder, WHY, on a vacation with doting Grandma and Grandpa, do they need a nanny? Are they so afraid to be alone with their own child, and God forbid, maybe have to help her in the bathroom or brush her teeth that they just can't stand the idea of actual family time with her for 2 weeks? SAD.<BR/><BR/>And OP, the suggestion of a nearvy hotel room for you sounds great. I hope you let us know what you and your employers worked out.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-45255384298066951662008-02-07T23:43:00.000-05:002008-02-07T23:43:00.000-05:00do not share a room or bed with those kidsdo not share a room or bed with those kidsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-47354175673078922732008-02-07T20:51:00.000-05:002008-02-07T20:51:00.000-05:00I'm glad the idea wasn't flamed!I am also very hap...I'm glad the idea wasn't flamed!<BR/><BR/>I am also very happy to see that an actual nanny employer has done that!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-31818094402005367412008-02-07T19:04:00.000-05:002008-02-07T19:04:00.000-05:00I hope OP will update after she speaks w/ her empl...I hope OP will update after she speaks w/ her employers, I am curious what they will say.<BR/><BR/>I can't believe anyone would expect an employee of any kind to work 24/7 but that sounds like what nannies are expected to do if they "go on vacation" with a family. <BR/><BR/>Employers seem to want the nanny to be both a part of their family and hired help, but you can't have both.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-33011154022373135212008-02-07T16:59:00.000-05:002008-02-07T16:59:00.000-05:0011:54, that sopunds like a great idea!OP, I would ...11:54, that sopunds like a great idea!<BR/><BR/>OP, I would outline what you MUST have to survive the 2 weeks, what you'd like to have, and what the perfect ideal 2 weeks would be. Then, when you sit down with your bosses, start with your ideal (i.e., own room, no OT, no extra kids, whatever) and work your way down to a compromise you can live with.<BR/><BR/>And if you do get extra kids dumped on you, I would just nicely say, "Sure, I can take them - I charge $x per hour, and I'll need 10 hours paid in advance. When you've used that credit, you can add more money and I'll work more hours for you!"chickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08036917167478045508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-71511932716351536262008-02-07T16:20:00.000-05:002008-02-07T16:20:00.000-05:00Just tell them you kick in your sleep. I am sure ...Just tell them you kick in your sleep. I am sure they don't want their child covered in black and blue marksAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-74246314316167043872008-02-07T13:44:00.000-05:002008-02-07T13:44:00.000-05:00Not weird at all. That's how we worked it when ou...Not weird at all. That's how we worked it when our nanny worked at our summer house. She drove the "nanny car" we normally have for her and the children to use to the beach house, she stayed at a nice hotel nearby where she could be comfortable, had use of the "nanny car" when not working, and she worked her normal hours at our summer house. Although I'm not sure she loved driving around the Hamptons in a mini-van, and she did have to learn the area a bit, I think she was happy with the arrangement.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-39683893520320149052008-02-07T11:54:00.000-05:002008-02-07T11:54:00.000-05:00I am concerned about the likelihood of her getting...I am concerned about the likelihood of her getting her own room in a house that is having so many people to stay. If every room is pretty much full, it is too easy to give her a space in the kids' room. If several family members have to share a room so she can have her own private room, extended family may be bitter and annoyed and make rude comments to her or in front of her, which would be frustrating/awkward.<BR/><BR/>I don't know if this is unheard of, but since you said the family is super well off... is there possibly a hotel very nearby (walking distance, or will they have a car for you there?) that they could get you a room in for the two weeks? When you're at home, unless it's a live-in situation, you are there from (example) 8-6pm, then you go home. If you work later or you are asked to come in for a date night or weekend day, they pay accordingly and there isn't much way to take advantage since it is your choice to come in. This would seem like the most ideal way to get your free time and recharge, and if you had your own place completely separate from the family, you may not need to take off two days a week or whatever others were suggesting. <BR/><BR/>I don't know, I'm sure it probably sounds weird but oh well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-66299931194758712532008-02-07T10:46:00.000-05:002008-02-07T10:46:00.000-05:00First of all, when you took the job, did you know ...First of all, when you took the job, did you know that you're supposed to go on vacations with them? If you did, then there's really no way to back out without looking like you're not a woman of your word. <BR/><BR/>Secondly, you need to set boundaries. If you typically work 10 hours a day, then you should let your employers know that you will not be available 24/7 while on vacation. Plus, you need a couple of days off each week to recharge. Just because your employers are on vacation does not mean that they are absolved of all parenting duties for the entire 2 weeks!<BR/><BR/>And finally, DO request firmly your own room. Having no private space can drive anyone crazy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-39959995177050228532008-02-07T10:35:00.000-05:002008-02-07T10:35:00.000-05:00OP. I am an employer. I can tell you I don't thi...OP. I am an employer. I can tell you I don't think my nanny telling me what she needs is in anyway inappropriate and it is actually very welcomed. I would not be too receptive if she came to me with a hostile attitude, ultimatums and threats about a situation, but you can be firm and straightforward about your concerns without resorting to that. Nice doesn't mean meek.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-37886370374456342492008-02-07T09:14:00.000-05:002008-02-07T09:14:00.000-05:00The children sleep with the parents at home? OP, h...The children sleep with the parents at home? OP, how old are these children? I know in the Far East, like Korea, children sleep with the mother until they are 8 years old. If these children aren't from a Middle Eastern country, then they should sleep in their own beds, not Mom and Dad's.<BR/><BR/>I tend to agree with the person who said that you will probably be watching everyone's kids, including your charges. Give it some thought, and see if you can put together a "vacation clause", that supplements your work agreement. Explain to them how miserable you felt on the last vacation, and that you felt that way since you didn't have time to rest. See if that works, and if not, then you may have to find a new family.<BR/><BR/>Keep us posted!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-9521581450078504312008-02-07T08:43:00.000-05:002008-02-07T08:43:00.000-05:00OPSo ... are you saying that you *don't* want to p...OP<BR/>So ... are you saying that you *don't* want to put your foot down? Because of the other Nanny? How do you know she was so passive?<BR/>I really hope you let them know how you feel ...<BR/>You can do it diplomatically. You sound like a very nice person.<BR/><BR/>And I don't understand why you revealing what State your from helps your problem. That was a dumb question that had no relevance to your problem, and I'm glad you were smart enough not to answer it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-35467956818067479892008-02-07T03:39:00.000-05:002008-02-07T03:39:00.000-05:00just jokingjust jokingAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-11669172571091766352008-02-07T03:38:00.000-05:002008-02-07T03:38:00.000-05:00Tell them you don't want to share a bed with the k...Tell them you don't want to share a bed with the kids. But you wouldn't mind with the husband. Hey, you never know! You may hit it off!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-86799734834434219682008-02-07T01:54:00.000-05:002008-02-07T01:54:00.000-05:00OP here!Thanks so much for all of the advice. Just...OP here!<BR/>Thanks so much for all of the advice. Just to clear up a few things<BR/><BR/>A) These 2 weeks are NOT optional. I have to go. <BR/><BR/>B) I understand everyone saying they may not be that great, but I can't emphasize how easily they have made the transition with me. The only thing I worry about is that their last nanny didn't really put her foot down on anything as far as this situation goes. She did what they told her too. I don't think they're used to someone saying, This is what I need, and frankly must have.<BR/><BR/>I don't really feel the need to say where I or the family lives. I hope that doesn't sound rude. I just don't want to give out anymore detail. But please note that they're financial status has nothing to do with this- they could afford to buy me my own summer house lol.<BR/><BR/>And thanks for bringing in your opinions- I hadn't even thought about other kids and such... it just didn't occur. Anymore advice is SO welcomed!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-68460181557606477842008-02-06T22:07:00.000-05:002008-02-06T22:07:00.000-05:00OP are u in OHio?OP are u in OHio?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-79258393039531994242008-02-06T18:00:00.000-05:002008-02-06T18:00:00.000-05:00I agree with 4:36. This is Their vacation, not yo...I agree with 4:36. This is Their vacation, not yours. Keep that in mind. I would not go unless you are Promised, in writing, your own room. I also would not go if you are going to be expected to watch any children other then the families. Adding unknown children to the mix can be a Huge Nightmare, been there, done that. Not worth any amount of money to me to do it again. <BR/><BR/>If you love the family and want to stay I would discuss things and get a written agreement. Otherwise I would start looking for a new position before summer starts.<BR/><BR/>Good luckAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com