tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post4617857459349869726..comments2024-03-19T03:27:24.068-04:00Comments on I SAW YOUR NANNY: What can I do to improve my situation?Leigh Raymerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18210572527823459842noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-16414154490571907352007-05-17T22:50:00.000-04:002007-05-17T22:50:00.000-04:00yes, I thought Trump called Rosie a dyke.yes, I thought Trump called Rosie a dyke.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-71839708896068743822007-05-17T18:37:00.000-04:002007-05-17T18:37:00.000-04:00fg:Thought Police? NeverWritten Word Police? Occ...fg:<BR/>Thought Police? Never<BR/>Written Word Police? Occasionally<BR/><BR/>What you, and Sprak and the ever-courageous "Anonymous" need to understand is that you are not talking to your BFFs, the readers dont GET you, we don't KNOW you or your histories, or how funny your friends would think your comments are. For 95% of the readers, your words are not understood to be casual comments. And the way you talked about Joan Crawford, calling her ugly and a dyke sounded hateful to me. You sounded more like Donald Trump than an actual thoughtful human being. <BR/>Words are powerful. Use them with consideration of your audience.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-74034530188211772512007-05-15T21:01:00.000-04:002007-05-15T21:01:00.000-04:00and... JMT, self-appointed chief of thought police...and... JMT, self-appointed chief of thought police on this blog,<BR/>I wonder what these ladies (below) would have to say with regard to your "overly politically correct" obsession? It seems that they do not share your views, and btw, I have NO problem with lesbians. My best friend from second grade on died about ten years ago from ovarian cancer. She was gay, and it never ever affected, changed or altered our wonderful friendship. It just was. I still miss her. As she would say,<BR/>Peace-<BR/><BR/>About "dykes"<BR/><BR/>In the late 20th and early 21st century, the term was reclaimed by many lesbians (to a far greater extent than, for example, "fag" for gay men). Examples in the culture include the comic strip "Dykes to Watch out For" and the traditional Dykes on Bikes that lead pride parades.<BR/><BR/>Matters came to a head when the United States Patent and Trademark Office denied lesbian motorcycle group Dykes on Bikes a trademark for its name, on the grounds that "dyke" was an offensive word. In 2005, after a prolonged court battle involving testimony on the word's changing role in the lesbian community, the Trademark Trial and Appeal Board permitted the group to register its name. (365gay.com)<BR/><BR/>"Dyke Marches" have become a popular Pride event nationwide. They are generally non-commercial, often in sharp contrast to corporate-sponsored pride events, and are usually inclusive of lesbian, bi, and trans women.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-11840125200866483342007-05-15T18:07:00.000-04:002007-05-15T18:07:00.000-04:00Which comment are you refering to?Which comment are you refering to?Jane Doehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16698679708921101708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-1698672309307495712007-05-15T18:03:00.000-04:002007-05-15T18:03:00.000-04:00what does that mean JD?what does that mean JD?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-16412646727038900032007-05-15T13:24:00.000-04:002007-05-15T13:24:00.000-04:00JMT-The deleted post at 11:50 PM contained the ENT...JMT-<BR/>The deleted post at 11:50 PM contained the ENTIRE contents of this page:<BR/>http://www.bpd411.org/glossary.htmlJane Doehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16698679708921101708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-61259828909769430922007-05-15T13:20:00.000-04:002007-05-15T13:20:00.000-04:00Reminder:We're not big on censoring- but we do hav...Reminder:<BR/>We're not big on censoring- but we do have our limits!<BR/><BR/>Comment Policy:<BR/>http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o12/isawyournanny/commentpolicy.jpgJane Doehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16698679708921101708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-84626879412229303332007-05-15T12:49:00.000-04:002007-05-15T12:49:00.000-04:00yes, i know what you mean..this woman is just a bi...yes, i know what you mean..this woman is just a bitch plain and simply put.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-46591118611341808322007-05-15T10:29:00.000-04:002007-05-15T10:29:00.000-04:00BTW, I totally missed the deleted post @ 11:30 PM....BTW, I totally missed the deleted post @ 11:30 PM. I take it it was full of info/comment on borderline issues. Why was it removed?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-83495407564626474942007-05-15T10:17:00.000-04:002007-05-15T10:17:00.000-04:00fg: Dyke? Did you have to go there?I'll leave it ...fg: Dyke? Did you have to go there?<BR/>I'll leave it to the actual lesbians on this site to ream you out if they care to. I'm tired of people like you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-91143405380760063592007-05-15T01:24:00.000-04:002007-05-15T01:24:00.000-04:00Did somoeone say Munchausen? One of the reasons I ...Did somoeone say Munchausen? One of the reasons I was glad to leave my slave-owner-type boss was because whenever she was all alone with the kids, she had a tendency to get very ill, then relatives would drive in to help her. I was always afraid that the situation might turn into Munchausen by Proxy, and poor me would get caught up in the dysfunctional mess. This was the only really wierd person I worked for. <BR/><BR/>The other families that I worked for were great, and I will always love them. I will always be thankful for the nice families that helped me pay for my college education.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-49352459548134500602007-05-14T23:15:00.000-04:002007-05-14T23:15:00.000-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-72083530010313313492007-05-14T22:04:00.000-04:002007-05-14T22:04:00.000-04:00the snide comments under her breath, the looks of ...the snide comments under her breath, the looks of utter contempt, ignoring me, passive aggressive / touch of the munchausen's (sp?) / BPD / etc. Wish I could mention the exact quotes she has said to me - un.believable. um, employees don't generally want gifts and to be constantly bombarded every day with 5 minute speeches about how great, excellent, and amazing we are. Treat people well. Just treat people well. If you passive-aggressively criticize your nanny, if you are psychotically manipulative, if you try to elicit guilty feelings from her for things she did that made you unhappy, then you are not treating her well, regardless of the number of "you're great"s you smear around the house. To the original: you cannot solve the little problems because they aren't real. There will always be more and more... so jump through hoops and there will be more hoops. we've all known people like this. i want to have a sense of humor about it, but really, it's just not funny.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-24203488634454643162007-05-14T17:45:00.000-04:002007-05-14T17:45:00.000-04:00Thanks for the advice everyone. I think looking fo...Thanks for the advice everyone. I think looking for another job is probably the right solution. There are other issues aside from the passive-aggressive stuff as well. I do deserve better, I appreciate all the input.<BR/><BR/>11:44AM:<BR/><BR/>My boss does NOT appreciate me (or anyone else in her life, to be honest). If I'm sick, I get no pay. If I need a day off, I get no pay. My vacation time can only be used concurrently with their vacation. If my boss sends me home early, I don't get paid for the regular day. I have to beg to get my schedule for the month and I'm expected to be available on a given day from 6am til midnight, depending on her whims (she may want me for 4 hours, maybe 14). I'm forever watching extra kids. I get lists of (absurd) chores left for me. Typing this out really has helped me see that my situation simply isn't right compared to what the norm is for nannies. It's what she says, it's HOW she says it. It's very accusatory and not at all curious sounding. <BR/><BR/>It wasn't always like this, but my mistake was letting things slide because they were supposed to be once in awhile. Now they've become the norm and that's not cool. I think a change will be good for me!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-52488793747070683582007-05-14T16:59:00.000-04:002007-05-14T16:59:00.000-04:00I agree, get out while you can. You deserve better...I agree, get out while you can. You deserve better. I was a nanny for 10 years and ended up in similar situations a couple of times. The parents feel guilty and let it out on you.<BR/>There are great families out there, but check the people out. Get references.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-16412532700306553412007-05-14T16:05:00.000-04:002007-05-14T16:05:00.000-04:00I still think the nanny should fnd another job. I ...I still think the nanny should fnd another job. I have seen a lot of nannys complain about how the boss wants them to be always doing something. <BR/><BR/>Even I was a victim of the slave-owner-type boss. If I was not literally jumping up and down with the toddler, I was supposed to be ironing the laundry, If I wasn't ironing the laundry, I was supposed to be doing some very manual labor. I lost 20 pounds in two months, and got very skeletal (I am already a tiny person). The only time I rested was when I was sitting on the toilet for two minutes. If I spent more than a few minutes in the bathroom, I was summoned to "entertain the kids". When I gave my boss one month notice, she started to get very hostile, and worked me even more, and had resorted to yelling at me as if I was s tupid person, and yet I already had 10 years experience as a professional nanny. Talking to this woman was a waste ot time, she would get defensive and say "just fold the laundry". I just had to leave a week early, she was driving me nuts.<BR/><BR/>Last I heard, my abusive former boss has been going through nannies like toilet paper. They keep quitting on her. <BR/><BR/>I still think this woman should leave her abusive slave-owner-type boss, or she will lose her dignity. There are some great people to work for out there, so lady, go get yoursel a nice boss.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-11733056311270834802007-05-14T11:44:00.000-04:002007-05-14T11:44:00.000-04:00I think quitting a job over this seems a little re...I think quitting a job over this seems a little reactionary. I'd hate to think that I couldn't ask questions of my nanny without fear that she would take it as passive-aggressive criticism and quit without warning. I already feel like I bend over backwards for my nanny - telling her how much I appreciate her and giving her small gifts whenever I can and giving her time off every time she asks with pay. And when I come home from work, I feel like I should be able to ask the nanny how the day was and what she and my child did and whether they played outside, etc. And I would hope the nanny did not take this the wrong way - like I'm checking up on her or second-guessing her in any way.<BR/><BR/>It's hard to leave your child every day in someone else's care to go to work (and please no flames about how I should stay home to raise my own kids). And it's hard to find a good nanny, whom you trust with your child. And so when you've found a good nanny, I feel like I have to jump through hoops so that the nanny will be happy at her job. <BR/><BR/>Anyways, before I get too far off the topic, I just want the original poster to consider everything before she decides to quit.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-64713880926471541992007-05-14T02:23:00.000-04:002007-05-14T02:23:00.000-04:00Run! As much as you love the kids, you have to sav...Run! As much as you love the kids, you have to save yourself. Somethimes the most wonderful kids have monsters for parents. <BR/><BR/>As for the Resignation Notice, don't even to there. She will become very hostile as the final date approaches and will do something crazy like accuse you of abusing the kids, stealing etc. She may even hire a new nanny and ask the nanny to fire you!<BR/><BR/>Find a new job in a different neighborhood, then quit your job by dropping off a goodbye letter with your crazy boss's doorman when you leave work on a friday night. I know this sounds crazy, but you are in an abusive relationship and you need to jump ship right away.<BR/><BR/>Also make sure that you confide in those who know you very well. When my friend quit her abusive job, her former boss spread rumors that the nanny was cold and rude, but those you knew the nanny well knew that the former boss had finally lost her mind.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-87733324380342338972007-05-13T22:51:00.000-04:002007-05-13T22:51:00.000-04:00Why hasn't someone come up with the idea for doing...Why hasn't someone come up with the idea for doing a background check for crazy ass parents?? My best friend in the world worked for a family that fired her and let the new nanny tell her. She showed up to her job and and the new nanny was there playing with the kid. She said the nanny asked her to leave the key and told her that the family wanted to try something new. I also worked for a mother who had a nanny camera and would call me exactly one hour after I left to ask me questions she already knew the answers to because SHE HAD IT ON FILM!! I quit after she was leaving money around to see if I was going to steal it. By the way she never told me she had a camera I found it. Some parents are off the rocker and need help. This lady is probably depressed and guilty for having a nanny. It happens. But if you have talked to her and nothing has happened maybe its time to find a new job. Good Luck!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-91990665299293092252007-05-13T22:01:00.000-04:002007-05-13T22:01:00.000-04:00Since Borderlines have many traits of a narcissist...Since Borderlines have many traits of a narcissist and must keep the focus always on themselves; hygiene is not an issue they usually struggle with. Borderline men have often been called dapper and woman usually spend a lot of time indulging themselves in products, potions, fashions and other things so that they look good.<BR/><BR/>(famous borderline-Joan Crawford)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-23240463541424276502007-05-13T20:58:00.000-04:002007-05-13T20:58:00.000-04:00I keep an advanced weekly schedule on hand for mom...I keep an advanced weekly schedule on hand for mom and dad to see how we're planning our days (outings, etc.) and I update it daily with unavoidable changes, naptimes, and the like. Everyone loves the structured routines, esp. the kids. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-19340091730791296682007-05-13T18:30:00.000-04:002007-05-13T18:30:00.000-04:009:25: Thank you for what you wrote. It clearly c...9:25: Thank you for what you wrote. It clearly came from the heart, and you clearly have really struggled to be a better person and a better mother. Happy Mother's Day to you. I'm sure your children are greatful for the ways in which you've grown along with them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-69250893615983866322007-05-13T17:30:00.000-04:002007-05-13T17:30:00.000-04:00To the Borderline Disorder expert, how are they wi...To the Borderline Disorder expert, how are they with regard to personal hygiene? Is there a problem?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-79204298410711755762007-05-13T15:11:00.000-04:002007-05-13T15:11:00.000-04:00sometimes they areand sometimes they are notand th...sometimes they are<BR/>and sometimes they are not<BR/>and therein lies the probAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-12387800037810548442007-05-13T13:59:00.000-04:002007-05-13T13:59:00.000-04:00yes jmt,borderlines are called the crazy makers. a...yes jmt,<BR/>borderlines are called the crazy makers. and sometimes you don't realize what is going on until you are removed from the situation. it's also hard to extricate yourself from a borderline's grip. they are methodical in their manipulation-gulit-anger cycle.<BR/>Remember the mother who started the howsmynanny stroller business? nannyies would have a liscence plate # assigned to their stroller- well I for sure think all borderlines should have a flashing beacon that extends two feet from the tip of their heads. That would save a whole lot of people a lot of headache. Especially the men who mistakenly mate with the borderline. No one has it as awful as the child of a BP.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com