tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post4000308330206279544..comments2024-03-19T03:27:24.068-04:00Comments on I SAW YOUR NANNY: Why I'm Proud to Not be "One of the Family"Leigh Raymerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18210572527823459842noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-40466564549710411432008-06-04T00:05:00.000-04:002008-06-04T00:05:00.000-04:00I appreciate you post nanny, but you come off as v...I appreciate you post nanny, but you come off as very cold and distant. You wouldn't be the sort of nanny I would hire, but it sounds like you have found a place where you are happy.jennifer lecarlohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07075210581080012981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-83256943903212393862008-06-01T03:37:00.000-04:002008-06-01T03:37:00.000-04:00This post is so interesting to me as a nanny! You ...This post is so interesting to me as a nanny! You are right, it is so hard to acheive the right balance between being a personal and being professional. This job calls for quite the balancing act. <BR/><BR/>I think the reason Family C worked out for you more than anything was because you were upfront and knew what you wanted and didn't want from the beginning. <BR/><BR/>I would add that having a contract that spells everything out in the beginning is VITAL, including duties and pay. This is true whether you want to be part of the family or more removed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-21877723962605302622008-05-30T22:13:00.000-04:002008-05-30T22:13:00.000-04:00I have had all three families as well in the past....I have had all three families as well in the past...same type family for A..we still talk in fact I saw them last weekend. <BR/><BR/>My "B" family was a riot. They had 5 dogs, 5 Cats, a bird and a grown nephew living in that house. They always showered...I mean absolutly showered me with things to keep me there. The house was a disaster with aging animals puking, pooping everywhere, not to mention a grown nephew who would crash in the toddlers bed where she napped (but wouldn't sleep the night) and he stunk to the high heavens. We had two full time house keepers and it never was clean although they tried like hell. But if we went to Nordstrom with mom you better believe we hit the shoe department and she would tell the employees, please bring out those coach shoes, that via spiga shoe for her (meaning me) I left with more than her. When traveling to Maine we stopped at LL Bean I think I got one of everything..literally and a pair of ice skates! They did so because it was HELL working for them and in my young age, all those "things" bought my time. I was screamed at daily...I mean who knew you fold mens boxers in threes?? Or who knew egg omlettes Must and I mean must be served in a perfect circle flipped in half. Mom was a loon and she kept me because she bought my time.<BR/><BR/>After my last family where I too was treated as a professional did I realize that, that's exactly the right relationship.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-35960909530042618882008-05-30T13:46:00.000-04:002008-05-30T13:46:00.000-04:00Oh. Better writing skills would have made that cle...Oh. Better writing skills would have made that clear.<BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>Well you are the only one that didn't comprehend it .Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-67014543673505464932008-05-30T12:31:00.000-04:002008-05-30T12:31:00.000-04:00Great post! My experience is similar to yours. I'm...Great post! My experience is similar to yours. I'm with a "Family C" type family now and I'm loving it. We are very friendly, but we are not friends and we are certainly not family. I take excellent care of their child and they treat me with respect. Everyone is happy. My time here is coming to a natural end in the next few months and I'm sad to leave but excited about beginning a new position. As I search for a new position, I'm definitely keeping in mind the "family member" vs "respected professional" dynamic.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-61451722704649287212008-05-30T11:35:00.000-04:002008-05-30T11:35:00.000-04:00OP,What a great post! It couldn't apply more to my...OP,<BR/><BR/>What a great post! It couldn't apply more to my current situation.<BR/><BR/>I am now with family "B" and looking to find family "C". What resources did you use to find such a good situation? How did you go about interviewing with them, (Did you ask for nanny references?). What observations did you make during the interview process?<BR/><BR/>Thanks!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-55821197414102783112008-05-30T01:03:00.000-04:002008-05-30T01:03:00.000-04:00OP: You're reading my mind!Most of the families I...OP: You're reading my mind!<BR/><BR/>Most of the families I've worked for eventually called me "part of the family"...until<BR/><BR/>1. I mentioned a pay increase<BR/>2. I asked for a day off to attend a funeral, they gave me grief and guilt about taking the time off and I later found out they called the cemetary to confirm that there really was a funeral there that day ("family", huh?)<BR/>3. I became very ill with the flu and they gave me guilt and grief for taking two days off to recover<BR/>OR<BR/>4. Their children grew to love me so much they sometimes preferred my company to their parents' <BR/>...then, I'm suddenly an "employee" again.<BR/><BR/>I prefer just being an "employee" now. <BR/> Respected, well-paid and with employers who realize I have a life outside work.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-63497487834278895812008-05-29T23:29:00.000-04:002008-05-29T23:29:00.000-04:00No, 10:38, better reading comprehension would have...No, 10:38, better reading comprehension would have made that clear.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-41701786661772015642008-05-29T23:08:00.000-04:002008-05-29T23:08:00.000-04:00I truly enjoyed reading this...i feel sometimes ta...I truly enjoyed reading this...<BR/>i feel sometimes taken advantage<BR/>of....and now can tell when it<BR/>is and when its not...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-2917899328561042992008-05-29T23:05:00.000-04:002008-05-29T23:05:00.000-04:00Boundary setting has to happen in any job. In one...Boundary setting has to happen in any job. In one of my very first jobs, my boss sincerely looked me in the eye when I said I had too much on my plate and said "there are 24 hours in a day." I was thinking, there are buddy--but at what you're paying me, you're not getting them!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-77641729567997068512008-05-29T22:56:00.000-04:002008-05-29T22:56:00.000-04:00Family B's "one of the family" thing wasn't sincer...Family B's "one of the family" thing wasn't sincere like family A's was. They used that as a way to con you into doing more than your job description. But seriously, did you read "The Nanny Diaries"? In situations like that, it's nearly impossible to set boundaries and have them respected. You were dealing with very disfunctional people.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-82360176609118296452008-05-29T22:52:00.000-04:002008-05-29T22:52:00.000-04:00It's totally true that the character of each famil...It's totally true that the character of each family had/has a great deal to do with my working experiences with each. My point in this post was about how I let Family B get away with a whole lot of crap because I fell for the seduction of the whole "one of the family" thing. <BR/><BR/>Yes, Family B would have been a challenge to work for even if I had been very firm about my personal boundries, but I would have had a lot fewer headaches during those years, I think.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-68783817715062644742008-05-29T22:46:00.000-04:002008-05-29T22:46:00.000-04:00Great post and very interesting. Families A and C...Great post and very interesting. Families A and C sound like happy, well-adjusted families that have their act together. Family B on the other hand sounds like the family in the book "The Nanny Diaries." Totally disfunctional and emotionally unstable. I don't know if it's the part of the family thing, or not--but rather how stable the people you work for are. It sounds like in your present job with family C that the family is healthy, they respect you, and it's a great situation overall. ENJOY IT!!!!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-47413238824762707462008-05-29T22:45:00.000-04:002008-05-29T22:45:00.000-04:00well there always has to be a very nasty mommy onl...well there always has to be a very nasty mommy online every night or this would not be i saw your mommy, i mean nannyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-13047690222702828592008-05-29T22:42:00.000-04:002008-05-29T22:42:00.000-04:0010:38Why so nasty? (I'm not the OP)10:38<BR/>Why so nasty? (I'm not the OP)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-40331690531910822672008-05-29T22:39:00.000-04:002008-05-29T22:39:00.000-04:00I think the point you make about being at differen...I think the point you make about being at different stages in life in the two jobs (families A & C) is a very inportant one. <BR/>Thanks for an interesting post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-45290922802433309382008-05-29T22:38:00.000-04:002008-05-29T22:38:00.000-04:00Oh. Better writing skills would have made that cl...Oh. Better writing skills would have made that clear.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-85496037503543919722008-05-29T22:27:00.000-04:002008-05-29T22:27:00.000-04:00She meant nannying, not being in the city.She meant nannying, not being in the city.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05095975261958113452noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-90805266697001882472008-05-29T22:24:00.000-04:002008-05-29T22:24:00.000-04:00Oh, and I don't know where you got the idea that I...Oh, and I don't know where you got the idea that I've been in NY for 6 years. I've been here for 15.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-75459946910527047712008-05-29T22:23:00.000-04:002008-05-29T22:23:00.000-04:00They aren't missing, silly, but I didn't work as a...They aren't missing, silly, but I didn't work as a nanny during them.<BR/><BR/>There's no law saying that once one begins being a nanny, one must stay that way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-82907933332964227162008-05-29T21:59:00.000-04:002008-05-29T21:59:00.000-04:00Your numbers don't add up. You have been in NY fo...Your numbers don't add up. You have been in NY for 6 years and have been with family B for 3 years.You started at 19 that would make you 25 now yet you say you started with family B 3 years ago when you were 25? HUH? Three years of your life are missing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-18219811185040495592008-05-29T21:53:00.000-04:002008-05-29T21:53:00.000-04:00Yes Thank you for sharing!!Yes Thank you for sharing!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-9672884492027740552008-05-29T21:43:00.000-04:002008-05-29T21:43:00.000-04:00amen sister.amen sister.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-36264322143973899022008-05-29T21:11:00.000-04:002008-05-29T21:11:00.000-04:00OP, this was well written and a pleasure to read. ...OP, this was well written and a pleasure to read. Kudos!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com