tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post3690093333763044166..comments2024-03-19T03:27:24.068-04:00Comments on I SAW YOUR NANNY: Is Honoring Two Weeks Notice Worth the Price?Leigh Raymerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18210572527823459842noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-67976808860836841892011-08-03T13:30:38.801-04:002011-08-03T13:30:38.801-04:00I'm the OP and I just would like to thank you ...I'm the OP and I just would like to thank you all! I honestly still have dreams where I'm trapped in the house or something and it's so nice to hear other nannies stories and to have some closure. <br />I guess I should have pointed this out in the original article but the nanny replacing me actually worked for them before, so I didn't feel a need to warn her. Perhaps she's made of tougher stuff, because there is nothing that could make me go back.<br />Perhaps I should maybe contact her and just let her know what some of my concerns were.runawaynannynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-53642987556254633682011-08-02T14:01:20.281-04:002011-08-02T14:01:20.281-04:00Do not feel guilty at all. I know exactly how you ...Do not feel guilty at all. I know exactly how you feel except I was not a live-in or au pair. The family I had worked for had 5 boys age range from 9 month- 8yrs old. I was told that I will never be by myself with all 5 which turned out to be a lie. Also, the friends of these boys would come over and it be more than just five. I was just the weekend help (she had an au pair). The au pairs kept coming and leaving, no one wanted to stay with them snobbish boys. They cried, fought, yell, hit and were never told no. I definitely warned the au pairs that came and when they found out for themselves they were gone. I only stayed because I was away at school and I needed a job to pay for rent. I ended up moving back home, got a great nanny position with a very nice family and sent the other mom (who was a SAHM) that I was not coming back after christmas...Chicago's #1 Nannynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-1185242256871364982011-07-30T16:34:52.826-04:002011-07-30T16:34:52.826-04:00The difference being, this nanny had bent over bac...The difference being, this nanny had bent over backwards for the family and was suffering considerably stress and abuse. The other nanny did not state her expectations up front multiple times and was surprised to have more tasks than was "agreed upon" on her first day. Also, this nanny is feeling bad about her choice and the other one seems nonchalant and was playing the blame game.MissMannahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-3723770012598379102011-07-30T10:58:25.981-04:002011-07-30T10:58:25.981-04:00I can't believe the other post where the nanny...I can't believe the other post where the nanny wanted to leave on the spot was flamed big time, however on this post everyone is saying the nanny did the right thing by leaving.<br /><br />What's the difference?<br /><br />By the way, in my opinion...if a nanny is being overworked, underappreciated and used and abused, she has the right to leave on the spot like this OP did.Truth Seekerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14354400264283369594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-34613132672307603652011-07-29T19:12:55.368-04:002011-07-29T19:12:55.368-04:00the mother was a class A abuser. She sounds just a...the mother was a class A abuser. She sounds just awful. Most abusers in fact are very charming in the beginning and they don't really show their true colors for quite some time. Happy that you got away. I feel bad for the man who is with her thoPhoenixnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-41319928510471061542011-07-29T13:52:57.658-04:002011-07-29T13:52:57.658-04:00Don't feel guilty either.Don't feel guilty either.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-66936630739032486142011-07-29T13:48:20.372-04:002011-07-29T13:48:20.372-04:00This is such a classic story for a first time live...This is such a classic story for a first time live in nanny. A family with a critical spirit that lives to enslave another unsuspecting nanny. My dear, I'm guessing you are one in a long line of many. You weren't the first, and the new nanny won't be the last. <br /><br />Get thee to a agency, get a contract, get a car, and as soon as you can an apartment, so you can go home when your day is done. If the contract states 45 hours, don't work a minute more. You have to learn to stand up for yourself, and that's so hard with a first experience, and no one backing you up. <br /><br />And don't fell guilty about leaving. I doubt they even remember your name at this point.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-60612751705848713042011-07-28T14:04:50.874-04:002011-07-28T14:04:50.874-04:00Good lord, no you're not a terrible person. I...Good lord, no you're not a terrible person. I can't believe you lasted as long as you did!MissMannahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-90950205608350751902011-07-28T11:18:25.097-04:002011-07-28T11:18:25.097-04:00If other Readers would like to share their first t...If other Readers would like to share their first time experience or horror story with ISYN, please send it in.<br /><br />We often receive e-mails from new Nannies relaying how it helped them in feeling like they weren't alone.MaryPoppin'Pillshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01493804863551764605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-83547457860357589962011-07-28T09:32:15.754-04:002011-07-28T09:32:15.754-04:00do not feel guilty and do not let yourself be trea...do not feel guilty and do not let yourself be treated like that again.<br /><br />google "psychic vampire"RBTChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12236958965651282895noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-78414642867720597362011-07-28T09:16:53.885-04:002011-07-28T09:16:53.885-04:00You absolutely did the right thing.You absolutely did the right thing.UmassSlytherinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15647516080217006351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-33800464058406767942011-07-28T08:43:12.108-04:002011-07-28T08:43:12.108-04:00Don't feel guilty about it! That was an absolu...Don't feel guilty about it! That was an absolutely toxic work environment and nobody should be expected to "tough it out".<br /><br />I spent some time working for an Olympic medal winning horseback rider as a groom/exercise rider, and she reminds me SO much of the woman in your post. I was always walking on eggshells, knowing that I would get in trouble for asking what she expected, but also for just trying to do it myself and getting it wrong. <br /><br />I ended up talking to her and telling her that I wouldn't be flying back after Christmas. It was so unbearable for me there that I told her my flight was on a Tuesday, when it really didn't leave until Wednesday. I ended up spending 29 hours in the airport just to get away early. <br /><br />I don't regret it a bit and you shouldn't either.ellemayonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-54414630337094828992011-07-28T08:28:34.597-04:002011-07-28T08:28:34.597-04:00You should absolutely not feel guilty that you jus...You should absolutely not feel guilty that you just quit on the spot. After reading your posting, I was starting to feel stressed myself. I am so sorry that you had to go through all that and I sincerely hope that if you continue to work as a Nanny, you will find a nice family to work for. This lady sounds nuts to me and it seems to me that you are a very fair and competent Nanny...she just liked to micromanage you..it is her weakness, not yours OP.<br /><br />There was a posting on here last week where some Nanny stated that she continued to leave positions without notice and she got flamed for saying so. People called her unprofessional and seemed to blame her entirely for not showing up and quitting effective immediately. I disagree. If you were lied to, are being taken full advantage of + are working in a toxic work environment, you should have the right to leave as soon as possible. If you were just bored on the job or got a better paying position and just left the family in the lurch for that, that would be wrong. But if they are not honoring their contract with you and are yelling at you, assigning you chores you had not initially agreed upon and giving you extra hours, you did the right thing by leaving them cold. Do not harbor any guilty feelings whatsoever. They deserve to be left in the lurch. They wanted that "2-for-1" Deal...a Nanny/Maid. Well tough luck for them.<br /><br />I think you should have notified the new Nanny if at all possible. Because she is in for a horrible experience and I would want to know if I was her.Truth Seekerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14354400264283369594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-15352750776343286052011-07-28T01:20:58.363-04:002011-07-28T01:20:58.363-04:00You shouldn't feel guilty! If I were you, I...You shouldn't feel guilty! If I were you, I'd have gone a really long time ago!!<br /><br />I used to have issues in standing up for myself, but not anymore!<br /><br />I worked for a family years ago, and I used to do everything, just like you: Cook, cleaning, laundry, even giving the dogs a bath!!! I was working 50 to 60 hours a week and was live-in. <br /><br />One day, I was just too tired of working for them. I realized I did not have to put up with their crap, and left on the following day. I called them early in the morning and left a message saying I couldn't work for them anymore.<br /><br />The dad called me pissed saying they were Christians (so?) and they go to church, that they were good people and I was a bad person and he hoped I had bad karma forever!<br /><br />Some people think nannies are servants and are supposed to be up for everything and anything. There is no respect. That's when you should leave and not look back.I did quit too...noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-87222568521332923942011-07-28T00:52:55.809-04:002011-07-28T00:52:55.809-04:00Wow. Do not feel guilty. I felt stressed out just ...Wow. Do not feel guilty. I felt stressed out just reading that. I think that most nannies that you talk to about this type of situation will tell you about their horrible first nanny experience.<br /><br />I think that once you go through something like this, you become much more selective when you are meeting new families. You start to look for those red flags that tell you that something is not right or that they have the potential to be the type of employer to take advantage or just be crazy in general. <br /><br />My theory, after hearing so many "first time nanny" horror stories is that families like this prey on first time nannies. They know that first time nannies are generally eager to please, submissive and don't have a ton of expectations for what a normal or healthy nanny workload and nanny work environment are. <br /><br />In my first position, I was worked to the bone. I seriously did EVERYTHING for the family- cooking, cleaning,running errands, working more hours than we had agreed upon, and caring for children that sound a lot like what you were describing- starved for attention and acting out constantly. I had constant guilt and always felt like I should be doing more. I felt like all of these things were my responsibility and if something didn't get done I was always afraid of what they would say or do. <br /><br />I was mentally and physically exhausted. It ended finally when I called the agency that I met them through to ask a question about something else unrelated to the situation. I somehow ended up on the phone with the owner of the agency for an hour spilling my beans about everything that was going on. She was appauled by the way that they were treating me and explained to me that these things were not in my contract or job description and that this couple had been taking advantage of nannies this way for years and were currently on their "last straw" with the agency. (Um, thanks a lot for sending me to them then! When the agency presented them to me they told me they were wonderful) <br /><br />The agency immediately sent me on interviews & I gave my notice. MB was furious. In fact, this job was three years ago, but I just recently ran into her and the kids at a cafe and she refused to say hello to me. Bitch.<br /><br />Anyway, my point is, do not feel guilty. THEY should feel guilty for the way they treated you. That is just simply unhealthy and you did the best thing by leaving. If you continue to nanny, remember this experience and try to look for those red flags. I have an amazing job now and the family treats me like gold. You can find that too! Keep your chin up, I am sure you are an awesome nanny and person and that is why you feel guilty, because you are kind. You deserve better.Laurienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-55895486904119818202011-07-27T23:41:52.097-04:002011-07-27T23:41:52.097-04:00I think you should have warned the next nanny. I w...I think you should have warned the next nanny. I was in the same situation when I was an au pair. In the months leading up to the job I was in correspondence with the au pair before me who told me that the family were delightful to work for. When I got there I was working 60 hour weeks and having daily panic attacks. Turns out that the au pair before me was experiencing the same thing but decided not to tell me because she thought I could 'find out for myself'. After leaving the family I sent her an email making clear how cowardly I thought she was for not having the stones to tell me what I was really in for. Just saying.cheshirecathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18439279905343380272noreply@blogger.com