tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post2959183802450223868..comments2024-03-19T03:27:24.068-04:00Comments on I SAW YOUR NANNY: CA Mother Would like input on her situation...Leigh Raymerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18210572527823459842noreply@blogger.comBlogger65125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-80671291415074492172008-04-28T21:37:00.000-04:002008-04-28T21:37:00.000-04:00Follow your gut feeling, if you feel that she cann...Follow your gut feeling, if you feel that she cannot be trusted, you are probably right. If you cant trust her with some old toys and clothes, how can you trust her with your children??? Finding a new nanny may be a bit of a bother and take a while, but is it not worth the time and effort knowing that you can trust the person who is looking after your children?<BR/><BR/>I have had an experience where I had a nanny that had all the right qualifications, but I still found that something about her seemed off, though I could not put my finger on it. People around me kept saying that she was a great candidate and I listened to them and hired her. After a very short time things started to go wrong. She never harmed my child, but she did make numerous other mistakes, including putting pictures of my home(whom I had taken myself!)and writing about my child and family in her blog (that I stumbled over by chance...), for the world to read. <BR/><BR/>The point is that if it feels wrong, it probably is, no matter what. Listen to your gut feeling, not to others.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-45970001550082789002007-11-29T07:59:00.000-05:002007-11-29T07:59:00.000-05:00Previously being a nanny myself, I know how trust ...Previously being a nanny myself, I know how trust is a very important part of the relationship.<BR/><BR/>I would sit down with your nanny, tell her you found out and that you no longer feel you can trust her and that you are letting her go.<BR/><BR/>That is just plain unacceptable in my eyes that any nanny would do that! <BR/><BR/>I would be insulted that she feels like she has to sell clothes to make more money... I mean you are already paying her a salary!?!<BR/><BR/>I agree with a previous poster... if you can find out how much she made, I would make her donate the money to the charities. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-70542639564840894042007-03-15T01:00:00.000-04:002007-03-15T01:00:00.000-04:00First off, nanny responsibilities vary from family...First off, nanny responsibilities vary from family to family based on the terms of the offer of employment. Since the posting did not mention this nanny's terms of employment, it certainly would be good to just stick to the issue.<BR/><BR/>With that being said, I'm having my own issue which I just discovered tonight. My new nanny who has been employed for about seven weeks has been stealing from me. I noticed last week that a very large change jar was missing from the pantry. I searched high and low for it. You may not think this is a big deal but it had at least $150 because my husband and I just drop change in this big jar to deposit in our children's savings accounts every once in a while. I hated to think that it was the nanny but there really was no other explanation. When the nanny was offered employment, she agreed to clean once per week while my kids were in school. Today was her day to clean and everyone was gone. There was a smaller change jar on my bedroom dresser which I decided I would "set up" hopefully in an effort to disprove my suspision that it was the nanny. When I came home and checked the change jar, sure enough the 8 quarters that I strategically placed at the top of the jar were gone. I know it is only $2 but it simply gave me the proof that I needed because in my gut, I knew something was wrong. So, I appreciated this blog because it helped me realize that I need to sit down and confront her to see what she has to say. I would have been happy to give her a raise or a pay advance had she told me that she was having financial difficulties. I feel the trust has been broken and I cannot trust her to care for my kids anymore. <BR/><BR/>With respect to the clothes, I think the trust has been broken there as well mostly because of the elaborate lying that took place. Had she simply told you the truth with the clothes when asked, I'm sure you would have understood but the fact that she made up lies really does question her integrity. Perhaps in this case you might be able to salvage the relationship but you won't know that until you get this off your chest and have a sit down talk which I'm sure you have already done since this posting is a month old. MRAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-91094701347451030432007-02-22T22:48:00.000-05:002007-02-22T22:48:00.000-05:00You should never have asked the nanny to drop your...You should never have asked the nanny to drop your things off at the charities. Nannies are professionals who have chosen to care for children as a career--not haul away trash whether it is to a charity or the dump. Would you ask your child's teacher to do that?<BR/><BR/>Thay being said, as an employer of a nanny, she lied. You can't trust her. Fire her. Period.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-84956290600064471382007-02-17T21:40:00.000-05:002007-02-17T21:40:00.000-05:00FIRE HER.She's stealing...not from her boss but fr...FIRE HER.<BR/><BR/>She's stealing...not from her boss but from the poor. Since the clothes were meant for charitable organizations, they were as good as donated. Would you want to hire someone who would steal clothes from the donation bin and sell them on Ebay? <BR/><BR/>And for all you crazy people who ask why the OP would assign her nanny such a "menial" task. Um...dropping off clothing...is it really that hard? Especially since both children are in school full time so the nanny should do some work during the day to earn her keep? It's not like they have her scrubbing the toilets.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-19033010331601766682007-02-17T09:48:00.000-05:002007-02-17T09:48:00.000-05:00It's sad but if you leave your children with stran...It's sad but if you leave your children with strangers you will never know 100% if they were neglected or physically, verbally,emotionally, sexually, abused. I have worked in some of the best child care centers in a major city and you would be shocked at some of the minor and major things that take place every single day. <BR/><BR/>People are not robots- they sometimes lose it, have sustance abuse issues, mental health issues, etc. If you can put a child in the care of a stranger you need your head examined. Most children do not tell when they are abused.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-1704272634631197022007-02-16T17:27:00.000-05:002007-02-16T17:27:00.000-05:00We had a nanny like this and ultimately I found ou...We had a nanny like this and ultimately I found out that she was lying about taking the baby to 'play' at the park. She would just leave my toddler in the stroller and then make up a big story about how she played on this and that at the park. Then I found out that she was stealing change and other cash from the house. She too was a good lyer.<BR/><BR/>I know it isn't easy to change nanny's. If I were you, I would follow her a little more closely - ie spy on her at the park and then later ask them how their trip was. See if she honest there or not. If she's not fire her fast.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-10594383958684643722007-02-16T16:16:00.000-05:002007-02-16T16:16:00.000-05:00Hey sweetie- she said that she pays her nanny $700...Hey sweetie- she said that she pays her nanny $700 a week and her nanny works 20 hours "if that".<BR/><BR/>Divide 700 by 20 and you will find that will give you THIRTY FIVE dollars an hour. <BR/><BR/>Tell me again, who is the idiot? That would be YOU.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-8932563065111491552007-02-16T14:17:00.000-05:002007-02-16T14:17:00.000-05:00Divide 700 by 20... that's how you figure out $35 ...Divide 700 by 20... that's how you figure out $35 an hours.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-73776323992171052952007-02-16T13:57:00.000-05:002007-02-16T13:57:00.000-05:00I will post nice and slow for ya, idiot.She said s...I will post nice and slow for ya, idiot.<BR/><BR/>She said she pays the nanny S E V E N H U N D R E D dollars for T W E N T Y hours of work- AT BEST she said.<BR/><BR/>Take 700 and divide by 20... that's $35 an hour sweetheart. Now go take your meds and lay down.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-43998996969847344312007-02-16T13:51:00.000-05:002007-02-16T13:51:00.000-05:00How is $17 an hour $35 an hour? Idiot. And if I wa...How is $17 an hour $35 an hour? Idiot. And if I was making $17 an hour, I would offer to polish wood to accumulate more hours.<BR/><BR/>And in case you don't know anything about nannies and employing them, a good lot of people pay there nannies 12-15 dollars per hour CASH. Under the table. This drives up the rate for those people who want to pay their nanny legally. It isn't fair!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-72981287140469627512007-02-16T13:48:00.000-05:002007-02-16T13:48:00.000-05:00Your husband probably doesn't care because he is b...Your husband probably doesn't care because he is bangin' the nanny on the side. Ya know the hand who rocks the cradle and all that good stuff.<BR/><BR/>I don't believe for one minute you are paying your nanny $35.00 an hour.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-37830225346902402232007-02-16T11:19:00.000-05:002007-02-16T11:19:00.000-05:00While there is a chance this it may be true, assum...While there is a chance this it may be true, assuming that this nanny needed the money is a mistake. People, rich and poor alike, are often greedy. That's all there is to it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-34466292956911114962007-02-16T02:12:00.000-05:002007-02-16T02:12:00.000-05:00As I think about this, one thing that really bothe...As I think about this, one thing that really bothers me is that your nanny is making you look dishonest. If you have contacts at these shelters, and promise donations, how does it look if the donations never actually get there? It undermines your credibility.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-37418474201930382252007-02-16T00:17:00.000-05:002007-02-16T00:17:00.000-05:00To the idiot at 1213 AM, stop making excuses for t...To the idiot at 1213 AM, stop making excuses for thieving whores.<BR/>The mother said she had a connection to these charities. She damn well knew what the charity did with the clothing. I mean COME on. You make me sick. If a nanny robbed a bank, I would guess you would piss and moan about how she only made $15 an hour.<BR/>Boring.......Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-74395400077645328982007-02-16T00:13:00.000-05:002007-02-16T00:13:00.000-05:00The charity I was always instructed to drop things...The charity I was always instructed to drop things off for sold them in a consignment store-anyone could have bought them, including the mother of the child at the party. Did you ask the mother where she bought them?<BR/><BR/>Also, the clothing aid boxes in our city the clothes are sold to raise money for their charity, the clothing does not go to them, the money from the clothing does.<BR/><BR/>It is possible she did as you were told, and the dress made it to some shop where the party mom bought it, and the money she paid for it went right where you wanted it to.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-85059781325049012052007-02-15T14:06:00.000-05:002007-02-15T14:06:00.000-05:001:57Is it possible that your nanny donated the clo...1:57<BR/><BR/>Is it possible that your nanny donated the clothes to the charity and the charities sold them to raise money??? <BR/><BR/>I would think the charities would do that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-50006167484913879882007-02-15T13:57:00.000-05:002007-02-15T13:57:00.000-05:00To make a long story short, my nanny is a single f...To make a long story short, my nanny is a single female with no dependants. She is paid $17 per hour. (We pay her taxes for her). She wants to work as many hours as she can during the week and since our girls are in school from 8-3, she has offered to run errands, etc. Our nanny is very bright and educated. I only found out about this when at a child's birthday party, I met the birthday girl's little sister who was wearing an old dress of one of my daughters. My daughter recognized it. And because my daughters are 16 months a part, I label all of their clothing with their first name. There is no question these garments were ours. There is no question that they were to be donated to charity and there is no question that she TOLD me that she had made the drop offs. I plan to speak to her on Friday and see what she has to say for herself. I think it is an awfully low thing to do. She isn't at all underpaid (for our area). Thank you to everyone who offered sensible responses! I value your input.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-3681550716022191602007-02-15T13:36:00.000-05:002007-02-15T13:36:00.000-05:00Maybe the nanny had clothing from other sources th...Maybe the nanny had clothing from other sources that she was selling and she actually did donate your things. I'd make darned sure I had the facts absolutely bullet-proof before I'd approach her about it. Otherwise, you could end up being the one to ruin a great relationship after she finds out that you thought she was capable of stealing from you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-46614690270759183862007-02-15T10:59:00.000-05:002007-02-15T10:59:00.000-05:00What is with all you people excusing her behavior?...What is with all you people excusing her behavior? I'm an attorney, and if my secretary steals money from the office account, she's going to get fired! And I'm sure you'd all support me in that decision because not only is it my money, it could be client money that she's stealing. That makes perfect sense to everyone. And frankly, it's my understanding that most nannies make way more than my secretary. But when someone embezzles from their office, no one says "Aw, cut her some slack, maybe she really needed the money." IT'S THE SAME THING, PEOPLE! <BR/><BR/>If it wasn't within the scope of her responsibilities, she should have been frank with the OP and said, "This isn't my job." So I don't buy the whole passive-aggressive "stealing as retaliation" theory, either. Give me a break. She stole, she lied about it, and you can't trust her anymore. Fire her.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-28558876196856505762007-02-14T23:16:00.000-05:002007-02-14T23:16:00.000-05:00I would definitely fire her. There's no "room fo...I would definitely fire her. There's no "room for error" when it comes to your kids and the people you keep around them. She has lied to your face repeatedly and you need to follow your instinct on this. And, people, do not assume her kids would "tattle" on the nanny if she were lying or doing improper things. Kids can very often feel intimidated and hesitant when it comes to telling their parents things of that nature. Don't take any chances when your kids are involved. Get rid of her.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-47054845655175127162007-02-14T22:58:00.000-05:002007-02-14T22:58:00.000-05:00Fire her ass! If you knew she would do this when ...Fire her ass! If you knew she would do this when you first met her would you have hired her? No. Then what's the question here?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-82312103516423968122007-02-14T21:47:00.000-05:002007-02-14T21:47:00.000-05:00I agree with 7:43. It's the employer's responsibi...I agree with 7:43. It's the employer's responsibility not to give people an opportunity to steal from them? Ridiculous! If you leave your keys in the car and a thief takes it, it's all on the thief! The three dozen other people who walked by your car didn't steal it, did they? A dishonest person will always find a way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-83078805180623002562007-02-14T19:43:00.000-05:002007-02-14T19:43:00.000-05:00Bull crap as a nanny myself you all keep making ex...Bull crap as a nanny myself you all keep making excusing for her behavior, AND THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR LYING ABOUT AND STEALING SOMEONE ELSE CLOTHING. IF YOU ARE IN NEED YOU ASK! DOES NOT MATTER WHOSE JOB IT WAS TO TAKE THE CLOTHES WHERE SHE TOOK THE JOB SHE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THE CLOTHING WHERE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE. I AM A MOM AND A NANNY AND MORE I READ THIS THE MORE IT PISSES ME OFF!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-46169532749916146862007-02-14T19:18:00.000-05:002007-02-14T19:18:00.000-05:00I also wonder why she would feel the need to sell ...I also wonder why she would feel the need to sell the clothes when she knew she was supposed to donate them. It could be that she is doing badly financially? That still doesn't make it right by any means. <BR/><BR/>As a nanny, it seems her job would be to take care of your children, not get rid of your old stuff. On that respect, the fault lies with you, as you giving her that task gave her the opportunity to do something bad. As an employer, it is part of your responsibility to ensure you do not give your employees such opportunities, ie.. ask for a form of receipt for the donation, etc. Donation places do give receipt requests you know, for tax purposes. She lied yes, but I don't see it as a reasons for firing her. Definately shouldn't be ignored however, or a level of trust can never be reestablished.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com