tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post2455531230742107961..comments2024-03-18T15:23:26.084-04:00Comments on I SAW YOUR NANNY: Gaining a Male Childcare Worker's Perspective...Leigh Raymerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18210572527823459842noreply@blogger.comBlogger55125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-6263846756420745532011-07-06T01:05:03.666-04:002011-07-06T01:05:03.666-04:00I just have a question, from a legal standpoint, i...I just have a question, from a legal standpoint, if a parent discovers that a male child care worker is helping her daughter in the bathroom and changes her diaper, she asks the management not to allow him to do it, and they don't heed the parent's wishes, and the she can't afford to send her child elsewhere, can she take legal action or is she basically screwed?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-83223409533512054512011-07-05T20:18:28.912-04:002011-07-05T20:18:28.912-04:00I'm a guy, and I just recently got a job at a ...I'm a guy, and I just recently got a job at a city daycare center, which is state funded by the way. From what I've heard, they're a little nervous about male workers helping kids in bathrooms, but if they're government subsidized, they're not allowed to enforce any rules like that. I've worked in several after-school settings where the kids were as young as 4. In those places, I never really went into the bathroom with them, unless I really had to, like once when a little boy slipped in a puddle of pee-pee from another boy missing the toilet, and he bruised his elbow. Also, when they were puking, one girl I had to bring into a private bathroom in the front office because the other bathrooms were single sex bathrooms. <br />Yea some parents are really ignorant, but I don't care. If they don't trust me in the bathroom with their kids, I'm perfectly fine with having a female worker in there with me to watch me do it, but I'm not going to heed any discrimination. I just hope I don't have to wipe bottoms though, that's kinda pushing it for me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-90328047144045830002010-06-14T23:34:17.098-04:002010-06-14T23:34:17.098-04:00This is directed at 'Wait, what?', 'Li...This is directed at 'Wait, what?', 'Lindsey', 'djembe', & 'toddle', though it apples to most of y'all as well. <br /><br />Currently, I'm a (female) church nursery worker, have been for 3 years. I was background checked, and our church also has a policy called "Safe Sanctuaries" that is currently being implemented, which provides that 2 workers/1 volunteer be present at all times, and that all nursery volunteers have background checks on file. <br /><br />I get the impression (though I admit I could be wrong) that some of you don't attend church on a weekly basis, or perhaps you go to a very large church, because many of you had the same reason - "I wouldn't leave my kid with someone I didn't know". That being said, if you attend a church every Sunday, you know the nursery caregivers, also, in our nursery we have at least 1 volunteer, and all parents of children in the nursery are on the list, so they have a chance to be in there [i.e. there's a mom in there every Sunday in addition to my coworker & I].<br /><br />A while back when we were reviewing our policies, our Children's Minister, who is female, stated she'd like it if when a parent was the volunteer, they would do it as a couple. While most moms said that would be okay, but they might be uncomfortable with another father changing or helping their child potty... what's interesting now, is that 80% of the time, the children in the nursery are little boys. So, while I understand the parents' concerns, I don't know that I'd have an issue with another father helping my little boy to the bathroom, provided he was at church frequently, and interacted [i.e. I knew him].<br /><br />However, let's say you have a 4 y/o or older, and a cousin, family friend, uncle, what have you, is 13 & up, would you be comfortable with him babysitting your son? (Assuming your guy is pottty-trained and leaving baths out of the situation)? While I do fine with little boys, I know some parents who do feel like another guy would be better as far as playing with Hot Wheels, dinosaurs, sports... But I know every situation is different.jaxnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-80139744770701897712010-06-11T11:56:57.855-04:002010-06-11T11:56:57.855-04:00Sexual abuse is terrible. No one is arguing that i...Sexual abuse is terrible. No one is arguing that it's not. And yes, if you've had personal experience, you are likely to be more biased against males. But it still constitutes prejudice, and the more you embrace it, the stronger it becomes. You could be mugged by a black guy, and then come to fear all black males, and believe they will try to harm you. Does that make sense? In some ways, yes. But it is still a bias. In order to overcome your anxiety about black males, you would need to evaluate in a rational manner, what is the actual risk that this black male is trying to harm me? It's the same with male caregivers. Avoidance only strengthens the bias and the anxiety. If you want to live your life like that, it's your choice, but it is a choice based on biased beliefs, rather than actual facts. Again, it's your choice to examine your biased beliefs about male caregivers, just as it's a choice to examine prejudiced attitudes about people of other races, ethnicities, etc.Everybody's freenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-76244254907736550922010-06-11T10:14:39.104-04:002010-06-11T10:14:39.104-04:00Some of you people are so insensitive. Do you not ...Some of you people are so insensitive. Do you not think that maybe someone who has been sexually abused or whose child has already been sexually abused may be a little more cautious and suspicious than someone who hasn't had personal experience? Do you really not understand that? We all make decisions based on our own life experiences. <br /><br />Talk about being judgmental and making generalizations. You are making huge judgments about toddle because she, a survivor of sexual abuse and the mother of a survivor of sexual abuse, is uncomfortable and suspicious of the POSSIBILITY that a man working in a church nursery MAY have ill intentions. So she must be sexist and irrational and hell, probably racist too.Wownoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-26964404138803204232010-06-10T22:42:48.198-04:002010-06-10T22:42:48.198-04:00Toddle, to quote your exact words:
"even the...Toddle, to quote your exact words:<br /><br />"even the slightest chance is too much of a risk for me."<br /><br />So...you are Amish?cali momnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-15865901207433806392010-06-10T22:35:47.730-04:002010-06-10T22:35:47.730-04:00Thank you Let's Get Real. Very well said.
Now...Thank you Let's Get Real. Very well said.<br /><br />Now Toddle, it's a proven fact, with easily verifiable statistics, that people die in car accidents frequently. Even kids in car seats whose parents are careful drivers. And in trains, buses, schoolbuses and airplanes.<br /><br />So, do you make the statement that "no matter how slim the chance,. any possibility is just not worth taking the risk", so your kids will NEVER be allowed to ride in a motorized vehicle of any kind until they turn 18? <br /><br />In this scenario, your "caution", "overprotectiveness", and whatever else you like to call it when you make the judgements againt a person based on your purported statistics, becomes simply a matter of convenience. After all, it's perfectly convenient to choose one of the overwhelming majority of female care providers than it is to walk everywhere with your kids until they turn 18, right? You can't claim the risk isn't there but unless you're Amish, you're taking *that* risk.cali momnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-6623564063701370292010-06-10T21:10:41.553-04:002010-06-10T21:10:41.553-04:00Oh, and Lindsey- haven't you ever heard the sa...Oh, and Lindsey- haven't you ever heard the saying "Two wrongs don't make a right!"? <br />You can't excuse your prejudiced attitude by saying that other people also have prejudiced attitudes. That's like saying, "I stole a piece of candy from the store because my friend stole one too. That means it's not wrong!"let's get realnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-24968486813555900212010-06-10T21:06:59.353-04:002010-06-10T21:06:59.353-04:00Toddle and Lindsey,
Maybe it will help to hear it ...Toddle and Lindsey,<br />Maybe it will help to hear it from someone who is NOT Calimom, but you are clearly missing the point of what she is saying. She did NOT say that either of you were racist because you did not want to leave your children with a man. That wouldn't make any sense.<br />What she DID say is that you are using the same exact logic for sexism that people use for racism and other kinds of discrimination all the time. Let me spell it out for you:<br /><br />The two of you are saying that you would have no problem leaving your children with a female daycare worker, whether you were familiar or not. You would assume that she was trustworthy because she was female. However, you would NOT trust a male daycare worker who you were not familiar with, because SOME males are pedophiles. You assume that, based on the actions of a small percentage of males, this male does not deserve your trust. You assume that he must have suspicious motives.<br /><br />Now, as Calimom pointed out, this is the SAME EXACT logic people use when they make racist and other prejudiced assumptions. Like when a white salesperson decides that the other white customers in the store can be trusted because they are white, but that she needs to follow the black customer around the store to make sure he doesn't steal anything because some black people steal. Or when a man gets a business- or science-related job over a woman, even if they both have equal qualifications as far as the person doing the hiring knows, because the person doing the hiring believes that men are naturally better in these fields and that a woman would just screw things up. <br /><br />You are making a judgment about someone based on nothing but their gender. That is PREJUDICED and SEXIST. I'm sure that people who don't trust people of other races or religions use the same logic when keeping their children away from those people. If a black person robs me, does that give me the right to be discriminatory against all black people? If a Jewish person betrays me in some way, should I assume that all Jewish people are untrustworthy? <br /><br />You can say you are doing these to protect your kids if that helps you sleep at night. However, I think it is a real shame that your kids are learning that it's okay to judge someone based on physical characteristics instead of the person inside. Maybe someday you'll feel differently if you have a daughter and someone tells her that she can't be trusted to do something because she is female, or if you have a son who wants to work with children when he's older and people question his motives and assume he is a pedophile right off the bat.<br /><br />All this aside, don't trust anybody you don't know with your kids. Not males and not females. There are abusive, neglectful, careless people of both genders and the safety of your kids should always be your number one priority. That being said, don't make the stupid mistake of assuming your kids are safe just because they are with a female. Make sure they are safe with WHOEVER they're with.let's get realnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-42081073792735208882010-06-10T18:25:59.726-04:002010-06-10T18:25:59.726-04:00Make up your mind cali mom
First you say we (thos...Make up your mind cali mom<br /><br />First you say we (those of us who disagree with you) are racist because we would refuse to leave our children with a male we don't know. Then you say you never said anyone was a racist (which clearly you did). Now you're saying IF I believe a whole race of people is bad than I am a racist. Well you got me there. That would be true. IF that is what I or anyone else here said you'd have a point.<br /><br />I have admitted repeatedly that it is a generalization to refuse to leave my children with a man in this situation based on the POSSIBILITY that he would be a pedophile. I have said repeatedly that it is only a possibility and unlikely even. He most likely is a normal guy that happens to like kids. It is unfair. So the hell what. I take precautions to protect my children from all kinds of things that most likely won't happen but the possibility exists. <br /><br />You are making all kinds of generalizations about me because of how I would handle this situation. But that's ok right? Because I am irrational and paranoid and ridiculous. You go ahead and think that.<br /><br />What if I am right?? Do you really believe the possibility doesn't exist at all? Do you have any idea how pedophiles find their victims? You have no way of knowing who this guy is in this situation. You can't check his background (and there is a good chance no one else did either). You can't get to know him before you leave your kid. You have absolutely nothing to go on. What if you leave your child with this guy and he is in fact a pedophile? Is not making generalizations more important than insuring your child's safety and well being? FOR ME (and I am only speaking for myself, not expecting anyone else to do or feel the same as I do) the answer is an emphatic hell no.<br /><br />I am sure you will have much more to say about this but I am done. You go right ahead though. Tell me so more how crazy and wrong I am if it makes you feel better.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02878603324769683385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-45687940064916576022010-06-10T16:48:01.203-04:002010-06-10T16:48:01.203-04:00Calimom, Why are you so concerned that she is maki...Calimom, Why are you so concerned that she is making a generalization about a group of people based on their physical characteristics?<br /><br />Have you never done that? Have you never made a racist comment, a sexist comment, a generalization about a religion? <br /><br />Please stop being a hypocrite, it's not the nicest thing to do, but we all go off our own experiences, and sometimes that means we lump all of (said group) together.Lindseynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-71828495794009830822010-06-10T14:40:58.877-04:002010-06-10T14:40:58.877-04:00Toddle, you very definitely ARE being ridiculous, ...Toddle, you very definitely ARE being ridiculous, irrational, unreasonable, sexist, paranoid and defensive. <br /><br />And if you changed your statement to say that instead of being suspiciousd of all males in childcare because some guys are bad you were suspicious of all (insert race here) because some peopple of (random race causing suspicion) are bad, then you WOULD be a racist as well. And just because someone is married to a person of a different race than themselves does not mean they can't be a racost, BTW though your marriage is neither here nor there in this topic.<br /><br />You are entitled to your opinions. But it's ridiculous to state that "I am suspicious of all people with those physical characteristics because some people with those physical characteristics are bad", and then try to deny that youy are expressing a prejudiced opinion.<br /><br />If you want to be prejudiced and hire only blonde caucasian females under 35, or Inuit females over 60 to care for your kids, you have the right to make that decision. But it makes you look silly to try and deny the obvious fact of your bias. Just admit that you are making a generalization about a group of people based on their physical characteristics and own your prejudice. You have proclaimed its existence repeatedly right here in this thread.cali momnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-18229565887046648832010-06-09T22:21:15.372-04:002010-06-09T22:21:15.372-04:00Well said, nycmom!Well said, <b>nycmom</b>!djembénoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-66942439972806214222010-06-09T21:49:34.424-04:002010-06-09T21:49:34.424-04:00These are your exact words cali mom;
"But yo...These are your exact words cali mom;<br /><br />"But you can't reasonably expect to spout ridiculous, irrational personal opinions and have everyone agree with you that they're justified and that you are not unreasonable, sexist, racist or paranoid."<br /><br />You very clearly said that those of us who do not agree with you are ridiculous, irrational, unreasonable, sexist, racist and paranoid. And now you are also adding hysterically defensive to that very long list?? <br /><br />Oh, and I could care less if you or anyone else agrees with me. You do what you think is best for your kids and I will do the same. I do, however, take offense to being unjustly called racist, sexist, paranoid, etc, etc.<br /><br />And, I don't need startling statistics. As I said, even the slightest chance is too much of a risk for me.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02878603324769683385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-7856944999764383032010-06-09T21:35:02.596-04:002010-06-09T21:35:02.596-04:00Does nobody remember the McMartin Daycare nightmar...Does nobody remember the McMartin Daycare nightmare? The family that had been accused of molesting and tormenting children all because a psychologist put the idea into the children's heads? <br /><br />It really doesn't matter the gender of the person caring for your child, all that matters is that you feel comfortable with them, and have taken the necessary precautions. Always do a private background check, trust me on that one.Kathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02081033055865413237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-72632148942660041162010-06-09T19:54:26.407-04:002010-06-09T19:54:26.407-04:00Toddle, you are getting hysterically defensive. No...Toddle, you are getting hysterically defensive. No one here has accused you or anyone else of being racist. <br /><br />Your position before was that you'd only have reservations about leaving your child with a new care provider if the person was male, but now you've backpedaled to say "I think it is irrational to leave your children with someone you don't know and have absolutely no concern whatsoever", so which is it?<br /><br />Most parents would agree if all you were saying is that you need to carefully research the background of your car provider, but all along you, and a few others have argued that you wouldn't tihnk twice about leaving your kids with a new care provider who was female, only that you'd be suspicious of males, and THAT is clearly a case of prejudicial thinking, no matter what euphemism you "prefer to think of it" as. <br /><br />Also, you say that "In this ONE, very specific situation...", but then go on to apply world history to this ONR guy working at the church care cenrter. In other words, youu're saying that you don't trust this ONE guy because OTHER guys have done bad stuff. So, either apply world history to this or don't, but you can't have it both ways if you're tryiung to make a rational argument.<br /><br />Now, IF you had some statistic to show that a startling percentage of male childcare workers have turned out to be sexual predators, THAT would be a sensible argument, but I doubt you have that. So all you have, going by your logic, (leaving out any other scenario but this ONE post by this ONE guy) is this ONE particular guy, and the chance that he may turn out to be a bad guy just because other guys have been bad guys.cali momnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-1746008064383316262010-06-09T17:37:55.625-04:002010-06-09T17:37:55.625-04:00I'm going to voice another vote for personally...I'm going to voice another vote for personally not hiring a male sitter for our family, nor being comfortable with an unvetted male sitter in a church nursery. I also agree that in a daycare center I would be comfortable with a male worker, but not comfortable with a male worker changing diapers.<br /><br />I think this is going to be overwhelmingly influenced by personal experience. If you have only sons; have no personal or close unfortunate experience with male sexual abuse of young children; and/or have been lucky enough to have had past positive experiences with male sitters - you are much more likely to make the choice of being comfortable with a male sitter. But for those of us who have had ANY first hand experience (ourselves, close friends or family) of being victims of male sexual abuse, the risk is simply NOT worth it. <br /><br />I don't think any of us are advocating blanket views such as no male childcare workers. As many have said, we think there should be more male workers in supervised childcare settings such as daycares. But leaving my kids alone with a male sitter or in a church nursery with a male worker I don't know (and has very likely NOT been properly screened or supervised), no thanks.<br /><br />I really do understand both points of view, and don't fault any parent for either choice. What I don't really understand is the outrage directed towards those of us who would prefer not to hire a male sitter. As parents, we do all we can to minimize risks for our kids whenever possible. I also don't understand this thread being diverted to physical abuse. Yes, physical abuse is more common and, yes, we all want to protect our kids from that too. But why this is relevant to a discussion specifically about sexual abuse is lost on me.nycmomnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-60720996332647358772010-06-09T12:12:43.898-04:002010-06-09T12:12:43.898-04:00This really is a great post and brought out a lot ...This really is a great post and brought out a lot of interesting opinions. And now it is time I added mine, which most people probably won't agree with.<br /><br />I do not think it is sexist to not want a strange man to change your baby daughter's diaper, or even your son's for that matter. I think it is being protective.<br /><br />Please note I did NOT say men shouldn't be working in childcare. I think more men should be encouraged to do so, just not in a diaper-changing classroom.<br /><br />This isn't being judgmental, sexist, narrow-minded or any other buzz-words you people can think of. This is being a good parent and wanting to keep your child out of harm's way. In the case of the nursery worker, if I saw any worker in the nursery I was unfamiliar with, I'd probably go ahead and change my kid so the person (male OR female) wouldn't have to. Nursery workers are not screened as well as childcare employees.MissMannahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-50527146673170097162010-06-09T08:07:12.726-04:002010-06-09T08:07:12.726-04:00I detest sexism, ageism, and racism. It is sad. I ...I detest sexism, ageism, and racism. It is sad. I am the first person who posted: I work with a male in my Preschool classroom, he is gay and he is amazing with the children. I think anyone who would think anything badly of him because of this is just disgusting and ignorant. I am saddened by the sexism on this thread, but happy that others agree with me. We need more males in childcare. Period. And we need less parents who are sexist. You are teaching that prejudice to your kids. Kids learn by example. You are teaching your kids not to be discriminating, but to be judgmental and ignorant.great postnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-34831568366366797592010-06-09T01:49:41.868-04:002010-06-09T01:49:41.868-04:00There is a ton of irrationality in the world, with...There is a ton of irrationality in the world, with many varying degrees of "wrongness" (for lack of a better word) in the resulting perceptions and decisions. <br /><br />I've driven my children thousands of miles over the years, NEVER without being properly harnessed, and in retrospect it was unnecessary because I've never had an accident. <br /><br />I've checked every piece of their Halloween candy before allowing them to eat it, which was also unnecessary in retrospect because not a single piece was ever tainted. <br /><br />I've made them wear helmets while riding bikes and life vests when boating... also unnecessary in retrospect because they've never crashed or gone overboard. I keep my smoke and carbon monoxide detectors in working order, yet we've never had a fire or a leak.<br /><br />Responsibe parenting requires that we at least ATTEMPT to reduce the odds of injury. Sometimes the result Is, yes, sexism. Sorry, but I will choose ruffling feathers now and then if that is the collateral damage of my attempt to reduce the odds of injury.<br /><br />Now, should nurseries or centers have that same right to sexism? I don't think so but good luck staying in business if you don't recognize what goes into parental thinking when it comes to whom they choose for child care.djembenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-60435795291193292222010-06-09T01:32:51.640-04:002010-06-09T01:32:51.640-04:00Nicely said, Toddle.Nicely said, Toddle.paranoid, irrational and prejudiced, Lindseynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-9001761095257310322010-06-08T23:06:35.080-04:002010-06-08T23:06:35.080-04:00I think you, cali mom are the one having difficult...I think you, cali mom are the one having difficulty comprehending this thread. This thread is about a male working in a church nursery and the concern he has experienced from the parents. In this ONE, very specific situation, an unknown male working in a church nursery, physical abuse is NOT the concern. <br /><br />It is a fact that males are more likely to be pedophiles. It is a fact that a pedophile will put themselves in situations, like this one, that gives them access to children. I think it is almost certainly also a fact that the vast majority of males in this situation are NOT pedophiles. It is also a fact that if I toss my 2 year old in the back of the car w/o a car seat she will probably be just fine when we got home. It is also a fact that if I allow my 4 year old to play in the front yard unsupervised it is highly unlikely that she will be kidnapped. Guess what? I would never do either of those things either. It is a possibility so I take precautions to protect my children. It is a POSSIBILITY that a man that is seeking a job with small children does not have good intentions. Since there is no way of knowing in this particular case I would choose to simply avoid the situation entirely. <br /><br />Does that make me sexist? Maybe, in this ONE situation. But since I don't believe that a man is less qualified or capable of the job I don't know if it can really be considered sexism but whatever. Paranoid? I prefer to think of it as extra cautious but I was sexually abused as a child by someone my parents trusted as was one of my daughters before she became mine thru foster adoption so maybe paranoid fits. Irrational? I think it is irrational to leave your children with someone you don't know and have absolutely no concern whatsoever so I guess we differ there. A racist or prejudice? WTH? That's quite a leap don't you think? Because I don't want a man I don't know and my children do not know caring for them that must also mean that I have an issue with people of a different race?? My husband is hispanic making our 2 biological children biracial. I am also the proud mother of 2 adopted children that are biracial and have fostered many children of all races so I think it is safe to assume I wouldn't be considered a racist by anyone's standards. I guess I must be blind too as I don't see how anyone can jump to that conclusion based on what has been said here.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02878603324769683385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-1990222761755453432010-06-08T22:06:05.500-04:002010-06-08T22:06:05.500-04:00Calimom- I never said physical abuse didn't co...Calimom- I never said physical abuse didn't count. I was trying to relay that in THIS situation, it isn't physical abuse that is the center of attention. Yes it is stereotypical to automatically think a man who wants to be in childcare is a perv, yes it is an opinion, yes it is judgmental. But that is life. Have you never passed judgment? Have you never made an assumption about something or someone? Have you never stereotyped? If you say no, well then you just may be the only perfect person in the world and I commend you.Lindseynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-91594132264318315592010-06-08T20:53:29.590-04:002010-06-08T20:53:29.590-04:00Wait...what?, you and Lindsey are specifically arg...Wait...what?, you and Lindsey are specifically arguing that physical abuse does not count as a concern because it's only sexual abuse you are worried about, or consider possible, if the care provider is male.<br /><br />I did not say you had to do anything my way, but it's becoming clear that you are probably not really capable of comprehending much of this thread so I probably won't bother trying to connect the dots for you any further. I actually said that you ARE entitled to your opinions, but you cannot seem to understand that they are YOUR OPINIONS, and they are based on nothing factual whatsoever. You are paranoid, irrational and prejudiced. But you have the right to be that way. You even have the right to share your paranoid, irrational and prejudiced opinions publicly, so go for it if it makes you happy.<br /><br />How did race come into this? Because you are trying to argue with a straight face that because a person is of a particular gender, it makes perfect sense that they should automatically come under suspicion. In case you somehow have missed this basic fact of world history, for 1000's of years, people of particular races in different places and at different times HAVE been automatically put under suspicion, due only to people like you who hold paranoid, irrational and prejudiced opinions. <br /><br />Again, if you can't understand that connection, you must be blind.cali momnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-56273539855666283112010-06-08T19:59:17.041-04:002010-06-08T19:59:17.041-04:00Hey cali mom, get a grip! This is an absolutely a ...Hey cali mom, get a grip! This is an absolutely a ridiculous statement:<br /><br />"I guess Wait, what? and Lindsey are just fine with the notion of their kids being abused, as long as the abuse is only physical or verbal, not sexual and it's only done by a female."<br /><br />Try and focus here. We are talking about the reasons a parent might be uncomfortable leaving their small, defenseless child with a man they do not know at a church nursery. If you want to discuss ways to prevent physical or verbal abuse that's fine but it has nothing at all to do with this particular topic. <br /><br />Your whole post is absolute BS and you look like an idiot. How did race get thrown into the mix? I know I never said I expected anyone to "tailor the school policies to conform to your own personal tastes" and I didn't see anyone else say that either. Nor did I say that everyone should agree with me or do or feel the same way that I do. You are saying that, not me.<br /><br />This particular situation would make ME, as a parent, uncomfortable. I do not leave MY children with anyone that I am in any way uncomfortable with. I simply would not leave my child in a church nursery staffed by a man I didn't know unless there was also someone I did know and trust there as well. I would not complain or demand that he be fired, I would simply make other arrangements for my child. <br /><br />I actually would not have a problem with a male teacher in a daycare situation, as I would have the opportunity to get to know him as would my child. This situation is different. I also likely wouldn't have a problem if the man was one of the other childrens fathers. That probably would not be a red flag to me. A man that seeks out a position like this is. And since I wouldn't have the opportunity to get to know him, I have no way of determining his intentions therefore I would not leave my child. I don't expect you or anyone else to do or feel the same but don't try and make me out to be a racist, irrational person that has to do things your way.Wait, what?noreply@blogger.com